


And I wonder (if you wonder about me too)

by CharlieLeau



Series: My mind is blind to everything but you [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Adultery, Affairs, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bonding Time, Canon Divergence, Charities, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Galas, Humour, Marriage, Merlance, No island, Raylicity, Scandal, Smut, Theroy, Trust Issues, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, companies, coorporate world, explicity sexual content, girls power, lots of galas and charities, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-18 04:55:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 129,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5899057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlieLeau/pseuds/CharlieLeau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Felicity was eight years old, her father tucked her to bed. He read her a bedtime story and bid her goodnight. When she woke up the next day, he was gone. She never heard from him again.</p><p>Heartbroken, Felicity decided not to let anyone in, ever again. She just couldn’t bring herself to trust anyone.</p><p>That was until she met Ray Palmer. She fell for him, he fell for her but she still expected him to leave her. He didn’t. They got married and they were happy for a while. But deep down, she still expected him to leave her.</p><p>Little did she know that she’d be the one leaving him in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> This is going to start with a long note, I apologize in advance :)
> 
> This work was inspired by three tings: -CheerUpLovely's amazing one-shot "Sneaking around" (you can find it in her collections of one-shots "In another life"), -the song "Wonder" by Lauren Aquilina and -the affair trope.
> 
> I really enjoyed CheerUpLovely's one-shot, I almost know it by heart now. I was not particularly fond of the whole affair trope before I read her work but the prompt that inspired it all was really long and the Anon who sent it said that it would make a perfect multiple chapters fic. It was enough to send my brain into overdrive and made me want to try and write a multiple chapters story based on that particular prompt. I've written my own story, meaning that my fic has nothing much in common with CheerUpLovely's (the characters, their feelings, their personalities, the plot, the format of the story... everything is different), but I have enough intellectual honesty within me not to be ashamed to admit that without her wonderful work, mine probably would have never been written. With that, I hope that you'll enjoy the story, no matter how it was born.
> 
> I also wanted to warn you about the characters in this story. They are going to be slightly different from the ones you're used to on the show. Firstly, I love Ray Palmer, I respect his friendship with Felicity. The only reason why he is the way he is in this story is because I needed an antagonist. Without him being that way, there would be no journey. Secondly, I am also aware that Felicity might seem a bit... Weak (it's the only word I could come up with) in this story but keep in mind that she has strong abandonment issues, lots of unresolved problems from her childhood (I won't say "daddy issues" because it sound cliché, but that's it). She still is her own person and has her own strengths... She'll just need a little push to start fighting for herself again during the story. Thirdly, I changed a few things about the characters' date of birth. Felicity was born in 1991 and Oliver in 1989. Thea was still born in 1995.
> 
> This story will deal with adultery and cheating. If you're not comfortable with that, you might want to stop reading. Also the rating is "mature" now. It'll go up to "explicit" during the story. You've been warned :)
> 
> I am not an English speaker, meaning that I make mistakes. I wanted to find a beta, but unfortunately, I couldn't. I am re-reading my other story's chapters at least three times before posting them, and be sure that I'll do the same with this one, but sometimes, they are still mistakes that I don't see. Feel free to signal them in your comment, as long as it remains nice and respectful :) 
> 
> I've already reading all the chapters, I'll be posting them when I have time. I'd rather not make any promises. I suck at respecting schedules and deadlines.
> 
> Anyway, happy reading!

Here are the Polyvore sets for the story. :)

[Dinner date (Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/prologue_dinner_date_felicity/set?id=186558460)

[Proposal (Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/prologue_proposal_felicity/set?id=186563257)

[Wedding (Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/prologue_wedding_felicity/set?id=186566017)

[Party (Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/prologue_party_felicity/set?id=186567295)

 

* * *

 

Prologue.

 

Felicity was supposed to be born in December. She was supposed to be the most beautiful Hanukah present ever.

Instead, Donna Smoak’s water broke during one of her late shifts at the casino, in November. She was brought to the hospital in a hurry and her small daughter was taken away from her before she could even see her.

When Felicity’s father was taken to meet his daughter, he saw her through the glass of her incubator. Tubes, cables and wires connected her to the machines that were keeping her alive, and would help her get stronger.

She was a fighter the doctors told him. She would make it the nursed said to reassure him. She wasn’t going to leave her parents anytime soon.

That’s what he told to his exhausted girlfriend when he came to see her. Their daughter was strong and beautiful.

She was a fighter. She would make it to the finish line.

He was proven right six weeks later when they finally brought her to their small two-bedroom apartment.

So yes, Felicity Meghan Smoak was a fighter.

She had been ever since her very first day on earth.

 

* * *

 

When Felicity was eight years old, her father tucked her in bed, like he had done it countless times before.

He put her glasses on her bedside table and read her her favourite bedtime story. He told her he loved her and peppered kisses on her face until she started giggling happily. When he reached her door, he bid her goodnight one last time and switched off the light of her room.

Because she was still afraid there were monsters in the dark and under her bed, he left her door half-open and made sure that the hallway’s light was turned on.

Felicity fell asleep feeling like she always did: loved and cherished, despite him forgetting to tell her he loved her. It was okay, she thought, he’d say it the following day.

Except that when she woke up the next morning, her father was gone. She never saw him again after that.

And as she was lying in her bed at night, Felicity wondered, if she had done something that had caused him to leave.

 

* * *

 

Felicity had always hated school.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

She didn’t actually hate school. She just hated the children and most of the teachers.

Felicity was smart. Crazy smart. And because of that, she didn’t know how to bind with the other children without having her brain scaring them away. They didn’t share the same interests. They didn’t understand her, she didn’t understand them and none of them made any efforts to change that.

Her father was her best friend. He kept telling her that no matter what life put her through, she’d make it to the finish line. Because she was a fighter. And when he walked out of her life, he took that part of her with him. She was left alone, with the no certainty. She was left with no one.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She had her mother. Problem was: Donna wasn’t like her. No matter how hard she tried, she just didn’t get her. Donna didn’t know how to be her best friend.

Most people didn’t.

And as she was sitting on her bed, her computer in her lap, Felicity wondered if someone would ever understand her.

 

* * *

 

Felicityhated high-school with a fierce passion.

She was bored in class. Everything was just _too_ easy.

She still hated her classmates. They called her a freak. They looked at her like she was some kind of weird animal that had gotten out of the zoo. And that hurt. That hurt a lot. Because Felicity really wanted to be normal. She really wanted to be like everyone around her. She just couldn’t.

She had no real friends, just acquaintances. Her mother was blaming herself. She thought she had done something wrong. That her daughter was this way because of her. Because she couldn’t seem to reach her. That hurt Felicity too.

Donna also blamed Felicity’s father. She said things about him, bad things, horrible things. That he wasn’t a good man. That he had never supported his family in any way. That he hadn’t been a good partner to her. And that hurt Felicity. Because he had been a good father to her until he left.

Despite her best efforts, Felicity cared immensely. She acted like she didn’t, but she did. Only God, knew how much she cared. It was her safest secret. Felicity didn’t have just a brain. She had a heart too, one bigger than her brain. Every insult felt like a burning slap across her heart. Every display of mocking hostility echoed in her soul, making her believe that maybe the people around her were right about her.

And as she was lying in bed at night, avoiding her nightmares by staying awake, Felicity wondered if she wasn’t a real freak after all.

 

* * *

 

Felicity graduated early. She was sixteen when she left Vegas and all its negativity behind her and flew across the country to Boston.

She started studying at MIT, confident that everything would change.

Boston was different from Vegas. It was colder, wetter. Felicity found herself most in her element during the grey days in Boston than she ever had during Vegas’ sunny days.

It was a little thing. But it was still the beginning of something new. The changings she had expected were coming. And she waited for them more impatiently than she did for Hanukah.

Despite her dark hair and dark make-up, despite her cargo pants and dark tops, despite her black leather jacket, Cooper fell for her. And she fell for him.

They were both smart. They were both good with computers and technology in general. He introduced her to his friends. He made her realise that what she had been told her whole life was wrong. She wasn’t weird. She wasn’t a freak. He showed her that there was nothing wrong with being a nerd. He helped her accepting that side of her. She embraced it, thanks to him.

They started dating a few months after their first meeting. They went out a few times. But most of their time, they spent hacking and coding. Things didn’t really change between them. It was like when they were friends, except that they kissed every now and then.

She lost her virginity to him. It happened in his dorm room. They had to do it quickly, because his roommate could come back at any moment. It wasn’t really nice and it left her wondering what the fuss was all about. They did it again and it felt better each time. But it never made her toes curl in her shoes. She never got butterflies in her stomach.

And as she was lying in her bed, alone in her dorm room, Felicity wondered if she ever would.

 

* * *

 

Cooper left her at the airport, during their third year of college. She was going back home, to spend her week of vacation with her mother. Donna hadn’t sounded okay when they had talked over the phone for Thanksgiving. Despite their differences, Felicity loved her mother. She just didn’t know how to tell her so. “I love you” seemed too weak. So she thought that surprising her with a visit might be a good way to show her what her mind didn’t know how to phrase.

Cooper drove her to the airport. And as she was about to leave, he blurted it out. He told her they were better off as friends. She didn’t cry or try to hold him back. She just stood there, in the middle of the crowded airport, blood pounding in her ears.

He left her, without even looking back. It felt like he had already moved on.

And as she fell asleep in her uncomfortable seat in the plane, Felicity wondered if he hadn’t moved on a while ago and she had blinded herself.

 

* * *

 

To say that Donna was surprised by her presence would be an understatement. She was surprised but she was also happy. Felicity was too. Because sometimes, the only thing a girl needed was her mom. And Donna was glad to see her daughter reaching out to her and she was glad to finally be able to be there for her.

Donna took a few days off and they spent a full week together, binding like they had never bound before. Communicating and understanding each other. It felt good. It felt really good. Felicity’s heart was lighter after every conversation.

Cooper had broken her heart, yes, but he had showed her how to embrace her inner and nerdy self. Donna showed her that maybe there was more to her than just that. That she was just her father’s daughter, but also her mother’s. That’s when Felicity realised that her mother feared that she loved her father more than she did her. That’s when she realised that she wasn’t the only one with insecurities in this relationship. That’s also when Felicity realised how strong her mother truly was. And she decided that from now on, she’d be a lot more like her. That’s why she asked Donna to dye her hair blonde.

And as they were lying on her mother’s bed, holding each other tightly, Felicity wondered what would become of them now.

 

* * *

 

Felicity had heard of Ray Palmer long before she first saw him. She had heard of his family. His father’s company, Palmer Industries, was on the top of technology.

Ray came to MIT during her senior year. His father’s name had gotten him in but it was his brain that had made him stay.

They had a few classes together. When she first saw him, Felicity felt herself blush. The pictures she had seen in the magazines hadn’t done him any justice. He was handsome, nicely dressed. His hair was perfect and he even smelt good. His manners were impeccable. He looked like some kind of Disney prince.

And Felicity wasn’t the only girl who had noticed that.

But for some reasons, Ray asked her to be his partner on one of his project. He asked her and no one else. Pride tugged at her heart and she accepted immediately.

And as she was doing her assignments on her bed, once again alone in her dorm room, Felicity wondered why he had chosen her.

 

* * *

 

Working with Ray was easy. He was as smart as she was, but their abilities were different. They complemented each other perfectly and it amazed her to see how good they were together, how good they were for each other.

They spent hours working on their project, staying up late at night. As time passed, Felicity found herself feeling more self-assured. When she realised that Ray genuinely valued her, and not just as a partner, but as a young woman too, she started feeling really confident.

Cooper had valued her too, but he had wanted her to use her abilities to stake a claim. He had wanted her to use it out of anger, to hack into things, to expose people’s mistakes under the disguise of doing it for “justice”. He had wanted her to be the judge and the executioner. She hadn’t liked that.

Ray, on the other hand, showed her that she could do the world some good. She could help him create new technologies that would improve people’s daily life. She liked that a lot.

She was thriving, because of him. Thanks to him.

She was happy. Working with Ray, being is friend, everything was perfect.

And as she was watching him sleeping on his desk – he had fallen asleep while working again – Felicity wondered when the other shoe would drop.

 

* * *

 

He first kissed her when they graduated. One minute he was congratulating her and the other, she was pressed flush against him, his tongue knotted tightly with hers.

He took her out on a date that night. They ate in a fancy restaurant and he brought her back to his apartment. They had sex for the first time that night and it was good. Really good.

The next morning, they talked about their future together, tangled in his bed.

He wasn’t really feeling like working for his father just yet. She didn’t want to push him into doing something he wasn’t ready for.

In the end, she decided to become a free consultant. He became an inventor. Sometimes she helped him with his inventions, sometimes she didn’t. Sometimes he helped her with her business, sometimes he didn’t.

They left Boston and rented a beautiful loft in San Francisco. There, they started building their relationship on the solid base of their friendship. They were both happy to be together, to do the things they both loved, together. Being two young brilliant minds together was easy. Felicity wouldn’t have traded her life for anything in the world.

And in the middle of the night, as she was lying wide awake in Ray’s arms, Felicity wondered, when her life had become this never ending day filled with butterflies in her stomach and pure and utter joy spreading in her veins.

 

* * *

 

Good things weren’t meant to last, alas.

Barely a year and a half after they graduated from MIT, a scandal teared up the Palmer family and threatened their company. Shares’ value started to decrease. Investors started to end partnerships.

Raymond Palmer senior was dismissed by the board. And it was up to the rising golden couple of the high-tech world to save the family’s company.

Ray stepped up and became CEO of Palmer Industries. Felicity remained a consultant but had to work less. Ray needed her at his side, to seal deals, to charm investors, to even get new ideas sometimes.

Their image was important, the PR department had made it pretty clear. They needed to look perfect in the public’s eyes, if they wanted to save the company. According to them, some good news could help people forget about the scandal.

Ray asked her to marry him in a fancy restaurant of San Francisco. He had hired a violin player and had made sure that red roses had been used to decorate the restaurant. There were flowers everywhere and their strong scent made Felicity’s head spin.

Ray had hidden the ring in the flute of champagne she ordered to go with her desert. He knew her well enough to predict that she would do just that.

He knelt down in front of her when she gasped at the sight of the ring and popped the question.

A million thoughts swirled around her mind. She was young. She was only twenty-two. It was too early, she knew it was. But she loved him and he loved her too. It was enough for her.

She said yes. He put the big diamond on her finger. It was surprisingly heavy. It was a bit too shiny. But she forgets everything about it when he pulls her in for a hug and held her for a while in his warm embrace, peppering her hair with soft kisses.

And later that night, as she was facing Ray sleeping soundly in their bed, absentmindedly toying with her new engagement ring, Felicity wondered if he had asked her to marry him only to save his family’s company.

 

* * *

 

They got married in April 2013, after a little less than two years of dating.

Ray spent money without counting. He did everything he could to make that day unforgettable for the press. And also for his bride.

Felicity would indeed never forget her wedding day.

She would never forget the hours she had spent getting ready, making sure that she’d look flawless for the cameras she knew would be there.

She would never forget how long the dinner had seemed because there were so many courses.

She would never forget how bored she had been because there had been a lot of business talk. On her wedding day.

But in the end, none of that mattered. She’d do what she had to to help Ray save his company. Because she loved him as much as he loved her and that’s what people did when they loved each other. They supported each other, and went through hard times together in order to make things better.

She would never forget how his eyes had shone with love when he had said “I do”.

She would never forget how he had tenderly hold her against him during their first dance as a married couple.

She would never forget how he had made love to her that night.

They left for their honeymoon in the Bahamas soon after.

They had two weeks for themselves. Two weeks of whispered words of love. Two weeks of passionate sex on the beach. Two weeks of soft love-making in silky sheets. Two weeks of happiness.

When as they came back to their loft, Felicity wondered if things would be even more perfect than they used to be between them, now that they were married.

 

* * *

 

Things were good for a little less than two years. They weren’t as perfect as they could have been, but they were really good.

Ray took his new job very seriously. But every time he got lost in his work, his wife was there to remind him that there was a life waiting for him outside of his office. Sometimes, she hated that she had to do that. But she knew how important his company was for him. And she knew that it was her duty to bring him home when he didn’t seem to be able to find his way back to her.

Despite his absence, he was still a good husband. He took her out on dates. He came home with roses, always red. They weren’t her favourite but they were beautiful nonetheless. He bought her beautiful and expensive gifts. He was still a good lover. When he was there, that is.

She still worked as a consultant. It left her with a lot of free time, free time that she used to fulfil her wife’s duties.

Even after their wedding, the aftermath of Ray’s father scandal was still looming over them. Palmer Industries’ PR team made it pretty clear then that they needed to keep looking perfect in the eyes of the public.

They did as they were told. For the company’s sake.

Felicity always came to charities with Ray, and she always made sure they donated a lot of money. She went with him to conferences when she was invited and always made sure to show people how smart and resourceful they were. She had dinner with him when he was meeting with potential investors and she always made sure to put on more than a good word for him.

They quickly became the golden power couple of the tech world.

They were young, beautiful, in love and smart.

People looked up to them.

Sometimes, Felicity felt bad. She hated the part she had to play. She hated being Felicity Palmer, the perfect wife of a very influent CEO. She hated that Felicity Palmer was slowly killing Felicity Smoak. She hated that the confident woman she had grown to be was reduced to be just a wife. A smart one, with a thriving business of her own, but a wife nonetheless.

And when Ray was working late, and she was lying alone in bed, Felicity wondered if there was any way for her not to lose herself in him.

 

* * *

 

Things got bad slowly. So slowly, Felicity didn’t see that they were bad right away.

2015 didn’t start well for them. They had a pregnancy scare in January. When the test turned out to be negative, Felicity was disappointed and Ray relieved.

He said they weren’t ready for children just yet, that he had too much work to do. She nodded at his words. Objectively, she knew he was right. But some part of her she didn’t know was there couldn’t help but being mad at the single blue line on the pregnancy test.

In February, Ray cancelled their plans for Valentine’s Day at the last minute. She wouldn’t have been mad, if he had told her to reschedule. He never told her to do so and when she confronted him, he tried to make it up to her. He took her out on a date in her favourite restaurant. They had a nice time together and when they went home, they went to bed together for the first time in two weeks. It was the last time that they had sex.

In March, he barely spent time in their loft. He was always away, meeting with S.T.A.R labs creator, Harrison Wells in Central City or approaching Robert Queen and his company, Queen Consolidated in Starling City.

In April, they both forgot their anniversary because of an argument. Ray came home and told her rather bluntly that they were going to move out of San Francisco. He didn’t ask for her opinion. He just informed her of his decision. That made her angry. This wasn’t how marriage worked.

Apparently, he had decided to move PI’s office to Starling City. He was on the verge of sealing a deal with Queen Consolidated that would do both companies some real good. When Felicity told him that she loved her life in San Francisco, that she had customers that relied on her, he simply told her that it was nothing that Skype calls couldn’t overcome.

In May, they moved out of San Francisco. He had a lot of work to do and she was left with the task of hiring staff for the big house, with way too many rooms he had bought them. He also allowed her to do whatever she wanted with the interior designs. She probably would have loved doing it, if he had shown any interest in what she was doing to their house. She couldn’t call it her home. It really didn’t feel like it when her husband always came back really late. And all he did then was collapsing on their bed, only to leave it at dawn, to get back to work.

In June, Felicity was at his side when he threw a party to celebrate the opening of his offices in Starling City. Palmer Industries became Palmer Technologies that day and he wooed everyone with his new ambitious plans for the company. Journalists were there with their cameras. Felicity put a fake smile on her lips and lied about how happy they were and about how proud she was.

That night, she cried herself to sleep for the first time.

In July, they left Starling City and went out on a vacation in the Caribbean. Ray left her the day after their plane landed, called back to Starling City by his executive assistant. He told Felicity to stay, that he would come back as soon as he could. He never came back and when she went back to their house, after two weeks alone, he wasn’t even there to greet her.

In August, nothing happened between them. Felicity told herself that it was for the best.

In September, she met Oliver Queen.

And just like that, her life was changed forever again.

Truly this time.

 


	2. Septembre 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :)
> 
> Here's the new chapter of the story, I hope that you'll like it! :)  
> I'll try to post twice a week, depending on how my other story goes :)
> 
> Thank you for the amazing response to the prologue! The comments and the kudos made me really happy! You guys rock! :D
> 
> Happy reading! :)

 

Here, the sets for the chapter! :)

[Cooking lesson (Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_cooking_felicity/set?id=186586304)

[QC (Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_1rst_meeting_felicity/set?id=186587565)

[Diner (Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_dining_felicity/set?id=186589299) / [(Moira)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_dining_moira/set?id=186589833) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_dining_thea/set?id=186589601)

 

* * *

 

September 2015.

 

Felicity considered divorcing Ray. She wasn’t happy with him anymore. He hadn’t been her husband for seven long months. She felt lonely in a big city where even her own husband had left her behind. A big city where she had no friends, no acquaintances. If she was still the girl she had been in high-school, she wouldn’t have minded being left alone with her computers. But she wasn’t that girl anymore. She had grown-up. She had changed and opened-up to the world. She had made a few friends in San Francisco, with whom she got out regularly.

The only people she knew in Starling were her new clients – becoming friends with them wouldn’t look really professional and she was nothing but professional – and the people she had hired to help her handle the house. The staff respected her way too much to become her friend. They saw her as their employer and even though she knew they appreciated her, they took upon them to remain strictly professional with her. She couldn’t really blame them for that, since she was doing the very same thing with her clients.

Felicity hated Starling City with all her heart. Even though the city was really similar to San Francisco, it was also completely different. She only went out to meet with her new clients or to do some shopping. Alone. Shopping alone was no fun, especially not when someone had gotten used to do it with chatty friends. Or a loud and exuberant mother.

Felicity felt lonely and sad in Starling City.

She considered divorcing her husband. But then she thought about how hard it would be, about the scandal that would ensue and she realised that she didn’t want any of this to happen. She hadn’t it in herself to fight PT’s PR team and the media. Besides, she still loved Ray. It was just a rough time for them.

Felicity had made her choice. She wasn’t going to divorce her husband. And because she was going to stay, she decided to improve her life meaning that she was going to save her marriage.

She questioned herself, her choices. Maybe it was her fault if her husband would rather work than come to their house, to her. Maybe she should give him more reasons to come back. Maybe she should reach out for him, like she had done it at the beginning of their marriage. It was probably all they needed. A little push. Once she would have gotten him back, he’d probably work just as hard as she would to keep their marriage afloat.

She could save their marriage. She was determined to save it.

At first, she decided to surprise him at work one day for a spontaneous lunch date. It went really well. They had a nice time together. He mostly talked about the nanotech he was working on. She made a few suggestions here and there and that was mostly it. It wasn’t a lot but it was probably their longest conversation in a very long time. She had missed it, his voice, his quirky comments, and his slight nerdiness that always managed to draw small smiles on her lips.

Encouraged by this first – small – success, she decided to pursue her efforts. Ray always came home late and when he did, he had already eaten. Felicity couldn’t cook to save her life, she knew that. But she was determined to change that. She thought that maybe her husband would appreciate her cooking his favourite meal. When she got that idea, she felt like a typical housewife and hated the feeling at first. She wasn’t really a domestic woman. But if changing a little meant saving her marriage, then she’d change a little. Her changing would trigger Ray changing. She was sure of it.

The cook she had hired was a forty-year-old man named Pablo. But he left their house when he got a better job offer. Felicity found herself looking for another cook, and she decided to find one that would accept to teach her how to cook.

That’s how Nana came into her life. Nana was the diminutive of Natalie. She was a fifty-year-old widow, who had no children. Her hair was grey and always tied up in a simple bun. Her eyes were soft, but they had this light inside of them, one that betrayed her lively nature. When she met Felicity, she hugged her tightly. She smelt like warm cinnamon and Felicity hugged her back immediately, feeling at home in her embrace.

They talked for hours and at the end of the day, Felicity hired her. She didn’t know it back then, but it was going to be one of her best decisions ever.

Her house changed after that. The staff changed, influenced by Nana’s bubbly personality and cheerful chatter. They were still acting professionally around Felicity, but there was just something warmer about them. That’s when Felicity started referring to her house as a home.

Nana gave Felicity a tour of Starling City. She was born in the city and had always lived there. She showed her the small streets, the ones that were hiding small treasures, like the small spices’ shop where she bought all her condiments or the small place where she bought fabric and wool when she needed some. When she realised that Felicity loved reading almost as much as she loved her computers, she took her to a dusty bookshop filled with small treasures made of paper.

Nana’s presence improved Felicity’s mood. Having a friend, finally, was a blessing. It made her days pass more quickly, she woke up every morning looking toward what they would do during the day.

One day, Ray came home earlier.

“Felicity?” He called.

She was in the kitchen with Nana, who was teaching her how to make a Bolognese sauce.

Ray tilted his head, surprised, when he saw her with an apron – courtesy of Nana.

“Honey?” He asked.

Her eyes met his and she smiled happily. “Nana’s making a Bolognese sauce and I am watching her.” She didn’t want him to know that she was learning how to cook. She wanted to surprise him with a full dinner when she is ready, and she was not.

“But why are you wearing an apron?”

“Because I don’t want her nice clothes to get stained Mr. Palmer,” Nana explained, knowing exactly why Felicity had lied to her husband.

“You’re home early today. Not that I am complaining, I realise it sounded like I was, but I swear, I wasn’t. It’s actually really good to see you home so soon.” Felicity ended her babbly with her cheeks redder than Nana’s sauce. “Is everything okay?” She went to kiss him but he took a step back. She frowned, hurt.

“Your apron,” he said, pointing toward her stained apron.

“Oops sorry!” She said, taking it off hurriedly.

He softly pecked her lips when the dirty garment was nowhere in sight before telling her. “Yes, everything is okay. Perfect actually,” he told her. “I wanted to tell you that I’ll need you to come with me to Queen Consolidated with me tomorrow. We’re going to sign our final contract.”

Felicity frowned. “I have an appointment with a potential new customer tomorrow,” she told him, biting on her lip.

“Reschedule then,” he said. “I really need you to be by my side tomorrow”. He checked his watch. “I have to go, I have a few phone calls to make,” he told her. “I’ll see you later,” he added, pecking her lips one last time.

She stood there, frozen in place. Did that really happen? Or was it just something her mind had come up with? Because it seemed like her husband had just told her and her meeting that they were less important than his company.

“Come here sweetheart,” Nana asked her softly, efficiently bringing her back to her senses. “We’re almost done with this Bolognese sauce.”

 

* * *

 

Felicity had no idea why Ray had wanted her to come with him at Queen Consolidated. When they had arrived, Robert Queen and his CFO, Walter Steele, had greeted them warmly. They had then locked themselves in Robert’s office with Ray, leaving her outside, with nothing else to do but wait.

She was really mad at him. She had rescheduled a meeting with a very important potential customer. The man had started his own company and needed someone to custom-made his cyber security system. The chances that she lost the contract were low. But still. She hated rescheduling, especially a first meeting. And she had rescheduled this one just so that she could wait for her husband to come out of his meeting. Great.

So there she was, sitting in a chair on the executive floor, shooting bright smiles to the people – there weren’t that many – who came by, pretending that ruining her morning for nothing was totally okay with her.

She didn’t know what made her look up when she heard the elevator’s doors open. She hadn’t done it when they had before. But this time, she felt like she had to.

Her eyes met the bluest she had even seen. They were beautiful and playful and she loved them instantly. They also belonged to Oliver Queen, Robert’s son and co-manager of the famous chain of nightclubs _Verdant._ He walked out of the elevator like he belonged there – and since his name was on the side of the building, she guessed that he probably did – and made his way toward the desk of his father’s executive assistant.

He was handsome. Really handsome. No matter how you looked at him, he always looked handsome. His front? Perfect. His profile? Gorgeous. His back? To die for. It was no wonder why he had been elected most attractive bachelor of the year. For the third time in a row. Now that she had seen him with her own eyes, Felicity could say that he totally deserved the reward. Well, if it could be called a reward of course.

“I don’t know if it can be called a reward,” he told her, turning around to lock eyes with her once again. “But thanks for the compliment anyway.” He winked playfully at her and she felt herself blush. She had a bad habit of talking out loud without realising it. And she had done just that. While mentally rambling about Oliver Queen’s attractiveness. She felt mortified. Had she also said out loud what she had thought of his front, profile and back?

“Perfect, gorgeous and to die for,” he quoted, an amused smile tugging at his lips.

She prayed for the ground to open up under her feet and swallow her. She was blushing so hard, she knew she was making her bright red dress look pale in comparison.

He walked toward her and she blushed even more, this time for entirely different reasons. His jeans felt low on his hips and did nice things to his legs and ass. His white T-shirt did nothing to hide his indeed very perfectly shaped torso and arms and she wondered if he had been made after a model. Or even better. A Greek god. He wore a black jacket above his white T-shirt and although his outfit was extremely casual, it did things to Felicity’s insides. And now she was becoming one of these chicks completely blown away by Oliver Queen’s charms. What a way to improve her day…

“Oliver Queen,” he introduced himself. He held out his hand for her to shake and she did. His skin was warm and felt really nice against hers.

“Felicity Smoak-Palmer,” she replied, trying to get a grip on her train of thoughts.

He smiled. “I knew your face was familiar,” he said. “I saw you in a magazine.”

“I saw you in a magazine too,” she blurted out without thinking. “But I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the same kind of magazine.”

He chuckled at her words and sat down next to her. “Yeah TMZ and Forbes have nothing in common.”

She frowned. “I am pretty sure that Forbes never wrote an article about me…”

“Well, it’s difficult to find a picture of Ray Palmer junior without his really pretty wife at his side nowadays,” he replied, his tone snarky.

Taken aback by his attitude, she chose to focus back on her phone. If she didn’t look at him, maybe she wouldn’t babble about his handsomeness.

“What are you doing here anyway?” He asked.

She turned around to face him and immediately regretted her decision. He was leaning nonchalantly in his seat and his T-shirt had ridden up, exposing his toned skin and great abs. Those were really great abs. She forced herself to look up and her eyes met his amuse ones.

“Waiting for my husband,” she replied, her tone dry. That was probably caused by the desert in her throat.

He chuckled at that. That annoyed her profoundly, even more than his handsomeness.

“Why are you laughing?” She asked.

He shook his head. “It’s nothing,” he assured her.

This time determined to ignore him, she focused back on her phone and resumed her Candy Crush game. Not even five minutes later, she felt Oliver leaned toward her and whispered, very close to the exposed shell of her ear. “Can I ask you a weird question?”

She blinked, her eyes going back to his. Wow. His very handsome face was closer to her. Of course it was. He had leaned toward her. Clearing her throat, she replied. “Why do I feel like you’ll ask me, no matter what my answer is?”

He chuckled again, much to her annoyance. “What’s your perfume?”

That made her pause. And blinked. Several times. “Excuse me?”

“Your perfume,” he repeated. “What is it? It’s been assaulting my nose ever since I stepped out of the elevator.”

She frowned and smiled when she felt her own snarky self coming up again. “If it’s been assaulting you, why do you want to know what it is?”

“I like to know who I sue,” he shot back, grinning at her. And okay, that one made her smile.

“It’s custom-made,” she eventually told him. “Fragrance of peony mixed with a few other secret things.”

“Custom-made, huh? Was it a gift from your husband?”

“You’re really curious Mr. Queen. And rather intrusive.”

“So I’ve been told. I can stop talking if you want to. But you seem bored and I am bored too, so maybe we can be bored together. Or even better, entertain each other.”

She considered him for a while. Yes, he was a bit annoying and she didn’t like the judgmental chuckle he had let escape whenever her marital status had been mentioned, but he had a point. She was bored.

“I don’t know if I’ll be a good entertainer. I usually am but you’re nothing like the audience I am used to.”

“Why because I am “perfect, gorgeous and to die for”?”

She shut her eyes for a second. “You’re not going to let that one go, are you?”

He flashed her his brightest smile. One that she could not not return.

“So… I am assuming that peonies are you favourite flowers.”

“Now why would you think that?”

“You wear a custom-made perfume based on these flowers’ fragrance.”

“I could just like their fragrance.”

“I have a feeling that you don’t do things just because you like them Mrs. Smoak-Palmer.”

“Then you have your answer Mr. Queen,” she shot back, feeling herself getting drowned in the dynamic conversation.

They kept talking after that bumpy beginning. And the more they talked, the more he annoyed her. But in a good way. He was openly flirting with her – that was what annoyed her – but he balanced his flirty tone with some interesting opinions. She managed not to babble too much but if the amused look in his eyes and the soft smiles on his lips were anything to go with, he really enjoyed her ramble. That much told her that he was a bit weird. Good. She was a bit weird too. She liked weird. Time flied as they talked and when Ray, Walter and Robert came out Robert’s office, they were still talking.

Ray barely acknowledged Oliver’s presence or the fact that his wife had been talking to another man. He just told her they were all going out for lunch and that’s when she knew why he had wanted her to come with him. He needed her to charm Robert and Walter, to show them they had made the right choice when they had signed a contract with him. She followed them outside the building after Robert told his son he had not time for him.

She felt a bit disappointed when Oliver parted ways with them. She wouldn’t have minded talking to him for a little while longer. He still managed to assure her that she was a very good entertainer before leaving and that one made her blush all over again.

 

* * *

 

“Honey, are you home?” Ray’s voice called.

“In the kitchen,” Felicity replied, excitedly.

Tonight was the night. She had texted Ray, telling him to get home early, that a surprise was waiting for him at home. She had cooked his favourite meal and favourite desert, with Nana there to watch her overcoming all the little difficulties. Felicity had decided that her husband and she would share a romantic dinner, drink expensive red wine, and maybe, if things went well, they would also physically reconnect.

“There you are,” he told her, barely noticing the candles she had put on a table, with their plates covered by plate covers. “Get dressed,” he told her. “We are going out.”

She frowned. “We can’t, I cooked dinner for us. That’s actually why I wanted you home early tonight.”

He chuckled at that. “You wanted me home early tonight?”

She frowned. “Yeah, I texted you. Haven’t you seen it?”

“My phone ran out of battery,” he explained. “I forgot to charge it.” He paused for a second processing what she had just told him. “You cooked us dinner? But you can’t cook honey. Our half-burnt kitchen in the loft can attest on that.”

“I trained with Nana,” she told him, smiling rather proudly, ignoring the pang of hurt in her heart at his doubt in abilities. “Come on, sit down!”

“Felicity, I’m sorry, we can’t. Robert’s wife, Moira, has invited us for dinner. We’re supposed to be there in half an hour.”

She opened her mouth and closed it.

“Can you pick a bottle of wine while I shower?” He asked her before walking out, without even sparing a glace to the table she had prepared for them.

“Felicity,” Nana said, putting a warm and comforting hand on her shoulder.

Felicity wiped her eyes, when had they gotten wet? “Toss the food away,” she said. “You heard him, I can’t cook.”

“That’s not true sweetheart…” Nana tried to protest.

“Please, just toss it away. And clean all that,” she gestured toward the candles on the table as she went to pick a bottle of wine. "Please," she added from the cellar, aware that it was unfair to take her anger out on Nana.

 

* * *

 

Felicity was sitting between Ray and Oliver. In front of them were sitting, in that order, Moira, Robert’s wife, Walter Steele, QC’s CFO and Thea, Oliver’s little sister. Robert was sitting at the end of the table, watching his family and his guests interact.

Felicity hadn’t seen Oliver since their first meeting, but she was pleased when he sat down next to her. She had really enjoyed their first conversation after all, and if his attitude had been any indication, he had enjoyed it as well.

“So, Felicity tell me, do you miss San Francisco?” Moira asked her nicely.

“A little bit. I mostly miss my friends,” she told her. And before she could say anything else, Ray cut her off.

“We both miss our friends, but we are well settled in our lives in Starling City now.”

“I heard that you were working as a free consultant,” Moira said. “It must have been a bit difficult to find new customers in a city where you don’t know many people?”

“It hasn’t been that hard,” Ray said, cutting her off before she could even talk this time. “Felicity is really competent.”

“Yes, my reputation precedes me.”

Oliver choked on his soup next to her and everyone stared at her with wide opened eyes. She immediately tensed up. “What I meant is that it isn’t a secret that I am efficient and professional,” she corrected.

Moira smiled at her and her daughter, Thea, flashed a much brighter one at her. “So, the two of you have been married for two years now,” Robert said. “Any project to bring another genius child into this world?”

Felicity froze at his words as the image of a negative pregnancy test came through her mind.

“We’re not ready for children just yet,” Ray said, as Felicity stood there, still frozen. “We’re still young and want to enjoy our life together before having children.”

Felicity’s grip on her spoon tightened. Enjoy their life together. She didn’t know what it was that they were doing, but they were certainly not enjoying their life together.

“Felicity my dear are you okay?” Moira asked.

Felicity heard her words but they didn’t make any sense to her. Suddenly, she felt warmth against her leg. She released her grip on her spoon and without glancing at the man who had pressed his leg against hers – hint, it wasn’t her husband – in an attempt to comfort her, she replied.

“Yes, I am perfect.”

 

* * *

 

Felicity found herself talking with Thea on the balcony while her husband was doing business talk with his new partners. The young girl was four years younger than her, and studying business at Starling University. She was funny and easy-going. She excused herself though, when she got a call from her boyfriend. Her brother took her place on the balcony with Felicity a few minutes later.

“Are you okay?” He asked, sounding concerned.

“Never been better,” she replied turning around to look at the Queen’s garden so that she wouldn’t have to look at him.

“You sure?”

“Yes, I am sure,” she repeated, still going with the cold attitude.

“Why are you mad?”

Her anger made her cold attitude melt away quicker than the sun did with ice. She turned to look at him, her arms crossed over her chest. “Your behaviour was inappropriate earlier.”

“Well, _someone_ had to do something, otherwise you’d still be there, frozen over your soup.”

“I wasn’t frozen,” she said, shaking her head stubbornly.

“Yes, you were,” he replied, sounding as stubborn as her.

“Why don’t you go away mind your own business?”

He arched an eyebrow. “So _she_ can talk for herself.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you didn’t seem to be able to say what you wanted earlier,” he said softly. “And all I could do, aside from unfreezing you – you’re welcome by the way – was wondering where the bright and bubbly woman I had met earlier was.”

She opened her mouth to protest but was stopped by what she saw in his eyes. Compassion. Understanding. “I know how it feels to be part of a family which owns a building with its name written on it, in capital letters. I know how overwhelming it can be.” He paused. “And from where I am standing, it seems that you are drowning.”

“You don’t know me,” she told him.

“I don’t need to know you Felicity,” he replied, looking at her right in the eyes. “I _see_ you.”

She shifted on her legs, feeling uncomfortable as his eyes gazed at her intensely, piercing all her defences, looking for her soul and bearing it for him to see. She looked away, toward the house. Ray was absorbed by his conversation with Walter and Robert. He hadn’t even noticed that she was talking with Oliver. Alone. And that they were standing close enough to each other for her to feel the warmth radiating from him.

“I should get inside,” she said, not daring to meet his eyes, afraid of what he might uncover.

“And I’ll be right behind you,” he replied.

That made her throw caution to the wind and look up. She saw in his eyes that he didn’t mean just following her inside. And the thought made butterflies flutter in her stomach.

She wondered if she should have been concerned by their presence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/


	3. October 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!!!
> 
> Here's a new chapter of the story! I hope that you'll like it! I hadn't planned on posting it tonight but I've had a shitty today and editing the story and reading about Olicity made me feel better (and that's really weird because it's my own story...).  
> I wanted to thank you for the HUGE and amazing response the last chapter got!!! It makes me really happy to see that you guys enjoy the story as much as I enjoy writing it! I wanted to warn you though that Ray isn't going to get any better as the story goes on. It's hard for me to turn him into such a jerk because I genuinely like him but without him being this way, there would be no story to tell.
> 
> Anyway, I'm going to stop bothering you with this note right here. Happy reading!

The polyvore's sets! :)

The gala [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_gala_felicity/set?id=186639966) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_gala_thea/set?id=186641613)

Coffee-time [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_coffee_time_felicity/set?id=186648616) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_coffee_time_thea/set?id=186648950)

Getting Shia [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_getting_dog_felicity/set?id=186645577) / [(Shado)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_getting_dog_shado/set?id=186645947)

* * *

 

October 2015.

 

As she was getting reading to attend yet another gala, Felicity realised that all her dresses were black. She paused, eyeing her closet critically. She paused for a second, waiting for an explanation she knew wasn’t going to come. Last time she had checked, she was the one who couldn’t stop babbling, not her clothes.

After Cooper had left her, she had dyed her hair blonde and changed all of her clothes, trading her cargo pants for skirts and dresses, replacing dark colours with brighter ones. And in a more figurative way, she had traded her anger for happiness and her dark thoughts for lighter ones. The drastic changings in her wardrobe had also affected her decisions when it had come to choose the clothes she was going to wear for her public apparitions at Ray’s side.

Intrigued, she called her husband, who was shaving his beard in the private bathroom connected to their bedroom.

“What’s going on honey?” He asked, his chin covered in white shaving foam, making him look like Santa Claus. She used to think that whenever she saw her dad shave when she was a little girl.  The thought had made her giggle as a child. It didn’t anymore, it only tugged at her heart, reminding her of what she had lost, what she wasn’t quite sure she had found yet.

“My dresses,” she said, gesturing at the beautiful but still dark coloured dresses hanging perfectly next to his well-tailored but dark coloured suit as well.

He tilted his head. “What’s wrong with them?”

She frowned. Really? He didn’t see her problem. “They’re dark.”

He chuckled at that. “I can see that yes. Is that a problem?”

“Yes! Where are my other dresses? The ones that aren’t dark?”

“Oh those?” She didn’t like the expression of disgust that crossed his face. “I asked Nana to put them somewhere else.”

Her frown deepened. “Why?”

“Well, because we need to play the part honey. Now that we are settled in Starling City, now that Palmer Technologies is really getting back on tracks after what happened… We need to show people that they are right to trust us. That their faith wasn’t misplaced.”

She arched an eyebrow, feeling utterly confused. “What does it have to do with the colour of my dresses?”

“Dark colours are more conservative Felicity,” he told her, sounding slightly annoyed. “They inspire respect and admiration. Your bright pink and orange are puerile and frivolous.”

She blinked, astonished. Firstly, who used the word “frivolous” in the twentieth century?  Secondly, had he just called her puerile and frivolous? And then thirdly, why had just sounded like the leader of Palmer Tech’s PR team?

Ray reached for a dress in the closet and handed it to Felicity.

“Wear this one,” he said. “It’s my favourite,” he added before leaving her to finish shaving his beard.

She was still too astonished to come up with words to form a coherent sentence.

 

* * *

 

Felicity wasn’t wearing the dress that Ray had picked for her and he wasn’t suspecting anything at all. She was wearing a coat above her dress, pretending that the cool air of the evening required her to wear a long coat that did a very good job at hiding the dress she had chosen for herself. Ray had no idea what was going to hit him and the thought only sent her heart into overdrive. She was excited.

When they arrived at Starling City Modern Art Museum, where one of the numerous charity gala organised by the city was being held, Felicity took off her coat and handed it to a waitress.

She took a deep breath. Show time.

Ray opened his mouth when he saw her dress. He clearly wasn’t happy with her choice. She shrugged at the questions that she saw in his eyes and ran a hand through her hair, to disentangle her blonde curls. When she was done, she threw them over one of her shoulders, smiling gently at the people around them.

“What’s wrong honey?” She asked Ray as they made their way toward the main room, his grip on her stronger than usual.

“I didn’t want you to wear that dress,” he said through gritted teeth, a smile full of white teeth on his face.

“What’s wrong with it?” She asked, stepping away from him. “It’s black. And black is conservative. It inspires respect and admiration. Or so I’ve been told,” she added, shrugging again. Ray didn’t reply to her very obvious gibe. “Enjoy your evening honey,” she whispered in his ear as she pecked him on the lips, just when a journalist was approaching to snap a picture of them.

And as her husband was greeted by some businessman she didn’t know, she walked away from him, well-aware of his glaring eyes glued on the outrageous gap that exposed most of the creamy skin of her back, from her neck to the bottom of her spine. She found her way to the bar, navigating through the waiters holding trails efficiently.

“Mrs. Palmer,” the barman, who was wearing a fancy tux with a bow-tie greeted her. “What can I get you?”

“How do you know my name?” She asked, surprised that he knew her.

“All the waiters have been handed an organisation charts with photographs of the galas’ guests,” a deep and warm voice that felt like honey said from behind her.

Felicity froze in place, not ready to face the voice’s owner. He came to stand next to her and the jacket of his tux did nothing to alleviate the warmth that was coming, no, scratch that, the warmth that was _radiating_ from him as he stood next to her, his arm brushing hers lightly. She stepped aside when they touched and rubbed her arm, so that he wouldn’t see the goose bumps that were already forming there. She felt his heated eyes checking her back and she was pretty sure that if her back could blush, it’d be bright red by now.

“Mr. Queen is right,” the barman confirmed. “So what can I get you Mrs. Palmer?”

“Smoak-Palmer,” Oliver corrected. “And let me guess her order, please.”

She was left with no other choice but facing him. Bracing herself, she turned around. Her mouth went dry when she saw him leaning against the counter in all his Oliver Queen incredibly sexy nonchalance. No matter how he was standing, the man was screaming sex-appeal. And Felicity’s ovaries were getting the message. Loud and clear.

Tonight, his jacket was not buttoned, and the lapels were falling enough for her to catch a glimpse of his suspenders. The vision sent her brain into overdrive and she willed herself to look at him right in the eyes. Bad idea. His blue eyes were as intense as ever on her, only this time, they were less blue and… Darker. Yeah. They were definitely darkening as he was finishing to check her out.

“Wine,” he told the barman, finally tearing his eyes from her body. She took a deep breath, because apparently, she had stopped breathing. “Red,” he quickly added. “Something French maybe?” He suggested then.

“Well done,” she congratulated him. Red wine was indeed her favourite kind of alcohol.

He flashed her a playful smile. “I wouldn’t be a good nightclubs’ manager if I couldn’t guess what a girl drinks.”

“Woman,” she automatically corrected.

“Right,” he agreed.

He ordered a whiskey for himself. Felicity took a sip of her wine and looked away, her eyes not lingering on anyone for more than five seconds.

“You look really beautiful tonight,” Oliver said after a while.

She looked up, expecting amusement and was surprised when she only saw honesty shining in his eyes. “Thank you.”

“You would have looked gorgeous in red though.”

Wait a second. Was he… Was he flirting with her? She slightly turned away, to face him. “How would you know that? I’m pretty sure you’ve never seen me wear the colour red before. Maybe it doesn’t go well with my complexion.”

He took a sip of his drink, swallowing the liquid heavily, making his Adam’s apple go up and down his throat. “The dress you wore the day we met. It was red.”

She opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. How did he remember that? Could she remember what he had been wearing? Jeans, white T-shirt and leather jacket. Yes. She could. So him remembering her outfit didn’t mean anything. At all. Just like his tone and his flirty manners. They didn’t mean anything. He wasn’t actually flirting with her. It was just his way of being around women. Every women. Even married women.

“And it went really well with your… complexion,” he added, his voice less flirty, but huskier. If she didn’t know any better, she could have thought it was desire. Her throat went dry again, obviously thrilled with the idea.

“What’s wrong with being just beautiful anyway?” She asked.

“I’d tell you the difference but then you’d choke on your wine and it costs more than your scandalously sexy dress,” he answered bluntly. “It would be a shame to waste such a good wine.”

She chuckled at his words, ignoring the weird looks the waiter was shooting them.

Thea came to them then, giving Felicity an opportunity to stop looking at her brother. The young Queen was definitely rocking her sparkly heels and short dress that made her legs look like they went on forever. Unfortunately for her, according to Felicity’s husband’s standards she did look puerile and frivolous.

Thea didn’t seem to notice Felicity’s flushed cheeks. That was completely fine with her. She would have put it on the wine if Thea had said anything anyway.

She immediately started rambling about how bored she was, and also how busy she was, now that her classes had started again. She complained about a few subjects and talked Felicity into helping her easily.

To be truly honest, Felicity was too busy trying to avoid Oliver’s intense eyes on her to really realise what she had gotten herself into.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Felicity was woken up by Nana bringing her a huge bouquet of scarlet red peonies.

“There is a card with them,” she said, handing her a scarlet red as well, but yet simple, card.

Felicity opened it with shaking hands. She knew who had sent her the flowers. And she couldn’t believe his impudence.

_“Next time, it better be red…_

_OQ”_

“Are they from Mr. Ray?” Nana asked. “Your picture hit the headlines of Starling City Sentinel.” She handed Felicity the newspaper. The title under the picture of her kissing Ray on the cheek was: _“Starling’s new royals?”_

“No nana, they’re not from Ray,” she whispered, her mind already coming up with ten different ways to digitally ruin Oliver Queen’s life.

 

* * *

 

Oliver Queen was a thorn in Felicity’s side. A thorn that she was starting to like. And that was not okay with her.

At first, she had decided to act like he hadn’t sent her a bouquet of peonies – and it had been really hard for her to ignore that because she had kept wondering how he had been able to get some in October. Yeah she could be weird like that. Wondering about how someone had gotten her flowers instead of wondering about why said someone had gotten them in the first place.

After hiding the peonies in her office – it would have been criminal to throw them away, they were really beautiful flowers – Felicity had actually decided to ignore Oliver’s very existence. It was complicated, given that she spent a lot of her free time with his little sister and that he always seemed to be around whenever they met. Whether they were grabbing a coffee at Jitters, or studying at the mansion, he always found a way to come to them.

He never stayed for long – Felicity regretted that and hated herself for regretting that – but the short amount of time he spent with them was always worth it – needless to say that Felicity loved that and hated herself for loving that. She also hated the fact that the more time he spent with her, the more time she spent wondering about him when he wasn’t around.

He was a deeper person than the media said he was but he was as funny and as mischievous as they said he was.

So really, who was he?

He was no longer the billionaire playboy he used to be. That much she knew. He was running his own business with his best friend, Tommy Merlyn, and had grown more mature – Thea’s words, not Felicity’s. He had still a lot of success with women – again, Thea’s words, not hers – and to the outside world, it seemed that he was living his dream life, partying at night in his clubs, making his family proud of his accomplishments, being a good model for his sister. Yeah, everything looked perfect for him. And maybe that was the thing. They _looked_ perfect.

There was something in his eyes that told Felicity he wasn’t as happy as he seemed to be. She didn’t know where that certainty came from. It’s not like she knew him well enough to be able to tell that kind of personal stuff about him. But still, she could feel it. He was missing something. She wasn’t even sure he knew what it was, otherwise he would have probably already done everything he could to get it. She didn’t know what it was either. Not that she would have told him if she knew because… Well, contrary to him, she actually minded her own business when it came to people.

In other words, Oliver Queen was a mystery. And she hated mysteries. They needed to be solved, preferably sooner than later.

But she wasn’t sure she wanted to solve the mystery that was Oliver Queen.

Because she knew he was a dangerous one.

He looked like sins. Seriously, even a nun would have a hard time resisting to his charms and assets.

And it seemed that he was a sinner as well, not the murdering kind of sinner but the lusting after someone he shouldn’t kind of sinner.

Oliver’s eyes were always on her. She had no idea why, she wasn’t his type after all. She wasn’t gorgeous as he had pointed it out so nicely and everyone knew that Oliver Queen only chased gorgeous woman. But despite that, his eyes were always on her. Sometimes, they would fall on Thea, just for a brief second, but then they would get back to Felicity, as if they were afraid she would disappear the minute they weren’t on her anymore.

Felicity had minded it at first. She hated being watched so intensely. She was afraid of what people might find out if they looked close enough. But then she realised that Oliver wasn’t scrutinizing her. He wasn’t looking for the flaws in her armour. No. His eyes were actually warm on her, almost heated. He was… It seemed that he was admiring her. Crazy right? Oliver Queen admiring her. Drinking her every word. Catching even her smallest smiles.

Oliver was a good watcher. Because although he wasn’t looking for everything she was so desperate to hide – her marital problems, her tiredness, her loneliness – he saw them all.

He saw them all but never said anything about them. Instead, he did his best to chase them away. He stopped looking for her smiles and started creating them.

She didn’t hate it. And she didn’t hate herself for not hating it. On the contrary, she felt grateful for it.

Sometimes when Thea was talking about something and she was getting lost in her own head, sad thoughts triggered by something that had been said, he squeezed her hand under the table. Some other times, when he couldn’t touch her hand, he pressed his leg against hers, just like he had done at his parents’ house.

Every time he did so, she moved away from him but not quickly enough to prevent her body from responding to his. She reacted to his presence, in a way she didn’t react to her husband’s presence anymore. And her mind hated it. She hated that her body was letting his warmth and strength soothe her. She hated that she always felt better after seeing him. She hated all that. Because she wasn’t supposed to feel like that and yet she did.

She also hated that she couldn’t explain why she reacted so much to him. She had thought at first that it was because she was a sexually frustrated hot-blooded woman and he was a very handsome man. But it wasn’t that. Because she didn’t react around other handsome men, the way she did to him. There was something about _him_. Something she couldn’t explain. And it frustrated her. Because if she could explain it, if she could understand it, then she’d be able to fix it.

Oliver Queen was a mystery.

And she had decided that he would be the first mystery she would never solved.

 

* * *

 

“Are you okay Felicity?” Thea asked.

The young woman shook her head and focused back on her friend. “Yes, why?”

“You didn’t seem to be there with me. Are you sure you’re okay?” She insisted, looking concerned.

Felicity nodded. “I am…” She looked down and eyed her mug of coffee, remaining silent. She wasn’t the kind of woman that poured her heart out. But she was just having one of these days where nothing felt good and she desperately needed to tell someone how she was feeling. Nana saw things but respected Felicity’s desire of privacy enough to not mention them. She almost wished for Oliver’s presence so that he could get some silent confession from her eyes

“Felicity, you know you can talk to me, right?” Thea told her, reaching out for her hand.

She wasn’t sure she could. The PR team’s words came back to her.

_“Be careful of what you said. Be careful of who you talk to.”_

But Thea was just… Thea. A kind and generous girl, with a good heart. It had taken Felicity less than ten seconds to see that.

“Yeah, I am sorry, I am just… Not feeling so well today.”

“Yeah, I guessed that much. What’s going on?”

Felicity shrugged not really knowing how to tell her what was wrong without having to tell her what exactly was wrong. She couldn’t just tell her about Ray. She had to be… subtle.

“It’s just that Ray has been working a lot and it’s been like that for a long time. I kind of feel lonely at home. It’s a big house and... Now that I have Nana things are better but…” She struggled to find the right words. “When she is not around, and Ray’s working, I feel lonely.”

“Things are going to get better, don’t worry,” Thea immediately told her, a small smile on her lips. She looked happy that Felicity had finally decided to open up a little bit. “I’ve seen this happening to my parents countless times. If you and Ray are half the persons the media say you are then you will make it.”

Felicity’s looked down toward her mug again. Were they really the persons the media said they were? They had been, not so long ago. Were they still these persons? She wasn’t so sure anymore. Now, of course Thea would say something hopeful. Of course she’d would be convinced they would make it. The girl was made of positive vibes.

Felicity wondered if she would still be so convinced if she knew that her husband hadn’t touched her in months.

“And if you’re feeling lonely, why don’t you get yourself a pet? A dog for example?” She suggested.

Felicity frowned because what? “A dog?” She repeated, puzzled.

Thea nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, you know the man’s best friend!”

“I am not sure, Ray is not really a pet kind of guy…”

“Well, you’re not getting him a dog. You’re getting a dog for _yourself_.”

“Clearly, you don’t understand the principles marriage is built on,” Felicity joked.

Thea smiled a bit. “Think about it: your house’s big, so is your garden. You’re often home because you work from there… You can have a dog. He or she won’t lack attention, affection or space.”

“I don’t really know…” Her voice failed her. Maybe Thea was right. Maybe she’d feel better if she had something to look after, to keep her busy during the day. Maybe that was why she had been so disappointed when she had realised she wasn’t pregnant. Maybe she had been feeling lonely for longer than she had thought.

She couldn’t have a child. Not that she wanted one anymore at the moment. Things were way too complicated, way too messy with her husband. A child would be like throwing water at their already dying fire.

A dog on the other hand… That could be a good idea. At least she would have something to hug and cuddle with that wasn’t a pillow.

But what about Ray though? She’d need his consent. Or not. He hadn’t asked for her consent when he had moved her clothes. But then, there was a difference between moving clothes and getting a dog.

“Think about all the cuddles you’re going to get…” Thea said, a dreamy look on her face.

“Are you sure that you’re not the one who needs a dog?” Felicity asked.

At the same moment, Oliver’s voice came from behind her. “Who’s going to get cuddles?”

“Felicity,” his sister replied. “If she decides to get a dog.”

Oliver sat down next to his sister, handing her a small plastic bag. “I brought the jacket you forget at my place. See? I told you I hadn’t tossed it away.”

“You could have mistaken it for the jacket of your latest conquest…”

Oliver rolled his eyes. “I can recognise my sister’s clothes, you know?” He then turned toward Felicity. “Do you want a dog?”

Felicity frowned. She had thought they would move past this particular topic. “I don’t know… Thea suggested it.”

“Why?” He asked, his intense blue eyes focused on her as usual.

Thea looked at Felicity too, though less intensely, seeking her approval. Felicity just nodded. It’s not like Oliver didn’t know about her problems anyway. “She feels a bit lonely in her big house,” she eventually told her brother.

Oliver arched an eyebrow. “Really?” His sounded amused and… not surprised at all.

She felt herself blush at his tone nonetheless. Why was she blushing? She had no reasons to. Her husband was a busy businessman, committed to his company. Everyone knew that. There was nothing to be ashamed of. And could Oliver erase that annoying amused smile from his perfect face?

“Yeah, really…” She muttered. “Can we drop the topic, please?”

“If you want.” He grabbed a cloth and a pen from Thea’s pencil’s box and wrote down something. “Here’s my number,” he said. “If you change your mind about the dog, give me a call.”

 

* * *

 

Felicity called Oliver after another failed attempt at getting Ray out of his office. Apparently, his work on his nano-tech was close to succeed. Felicity was happy for him. She was hoping that everything would go back to normal between them, once he would have reached his goal.

Oliver drove them to Starling City’s animal shelter. He spoke the whole ride long. And Felicity listened to him. Attentively.

He told her, how he, Oliver Queen former playboy, had gotten to know the shelter’s manager and her husband. When he was younger, he had done a lot of stupid things. Like peeing on a car’s cop.

The story behind that memorable, well, _faux pas_ made her laugh so hard, tears pricked at the corner of her eyes.

Slade Wilson, a cop, had tried to knock some sense into him. Oliver had been forced into community work, and Slade’s wife, had offered him a job.

According to Oliver, she had only done it because her husband had insisted on her doing so. Oliver didn’t know why Slade had wanted to help him because, according to him again, he was a real dick back then.

That made Felicity laugh even more. She had no trouble picturing that Oliver in her head. She was glad she had never met him though. The flirty one she was dealing with was enough problem already.

So, Oliver had spent three months of summer helping Shado, working with her in the animal shelter. She was a smart and simple woman and she had showed him how to put things into a different perspective. She had helped him caring more and he sounded really grateful.

“I was less of a dick after that,” he told Felicity.

She smiled softly at that last confession which sounded more intimate than the rest of the story, for reasons she couldn’t quite explain.

When they parked in front of the animal shelter, Felicity realised that Oliver had just given her one of the key to understand his mystery. And that she had accepted it without questioning it.

 

* * *

 

Oliver drove her back home two hours later. And she was holding an Akita puppy in her arms.

Akita dogs were Japanese. Shado also told Felicity that Akita dogs were affectionate toward family members. And apparently, the small ball of life that was the puppy who had happily ran toward the railings of her pen to smell and lick her fingers had recognised her as a family member.

It wasn’t surprising though.

Her name was Shiawase. It meant “happiness” in Japanese. Felicity meant “happiness” in Latin. Shiawase and Felicity together? They were meant to be.

The fact that Shiawase was the cutest and fluffiest puppy ever was just a bonus. The best kind of bonus.

 

* * *

 

Ray didn’t notice the dog’s presence until Felicity brought it up.

He told her he was happy to have a dog if she was happy to have one too.

She doubted it was true though.

Because he never asked for “their” dog’s name.

And Felicity didn’t tell him until she got Oliver’s present.

 

* * *

 

He sent it three days later. It was a dog necklace, custom-made for her new puppy.

The card was red, so was the necklace, and his handwriting as perfect as ever.

_“Happiness: the feeling of being happy._

_Are you now?_

_OQ”_

Once again, his impudence infuriated her at first.

But then, after her annoyance had passed, she wondered if she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	4. November 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!!
> 
> Here's the new chapter, I hope that you will all like it! Things heat up between Oliver and Felicity, although I am pretty sure that you didn't expect that kind of heat.  
> Ray's still a jerk. Sorry.  
> Thanks for the wonderful responses this story is getting!!! I didn't expect that you guys would love it so much - I mean, it's really about having an affair - but I am really happy that you do. You guys rock!!!!

[Birthday (Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_birthday_girl/set?id=186662119)

[Verdant (Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_verdant/set?id=186654528)

[Honolulu (Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_aloha/set?id=186678618)

[Thanksgiving (Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_thanksgiving/set?id=186685795) / [(Gemma)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_thanksgiving_gemma/set?id=190592721)

* * *

 

November 2015.

 

Felicity couldn’t wait for her birthday to be here. That was a first. She had never really enjoyed celebrating her birthday after her dad had left. Each new birthday was another one where he wouldn’t be here to see her blow her candles. Whenever that thought crossed her mind, she felt like salt was being applied on her still open wounds. The first couple of years after his… departure, the children at her school used to mock her and say that it was her fault if her dad had left. They used to say that she was too weird and he had ran away while it had still been possible. Their insults had hurt more than her father’s absence because her younger self, sweet and fragile Felicity, had believed them.

She knew better now. She had known better for a while actually. Her mother had helped her appreciate her birthday more. It had been one of the few days they had been able to find peace and actually connect back then, when things between them were always tense. When things had gotten better between them, after the whole Cooper disaster, her birthday started to mean something more for them. It became _their_ day. Felicity still didn’t really like celebrating it, but Donna always found a way to soothe the pain and make it enjoyable for her, even if they couldn’t always spend the day together.

This year was going to be different though. This year, Felicity was looking forward to her birthday, for entirely different reasons. Like anyone else, she wasn’t particularly thrilled to age. But that was secondary. It didn’t matter at all. This year, her birthday wasn’t about her and her mother. No. This year, it was about her and her husband. She had a marriage to save after all and she found it poetic to do it on her birthday.

Ray and she had always done something special on her birthday, ever since they had met.

In 2010, when they were just new acquaintances, Ray had offered her vintage comics. She had blushed when she had seen them and told him it was too much. He hadn’t taken them back and she still read them when she was feeling sad, although she knew them by heart now.

In 2011, they had already been living in San Francisco. He had taken her to the Aquarium of the Bay and they had visited it. By night. That’s how rich and influent he was. It had amazed her back then. Also, he had flown her mother from Vegas and the three of them had eaten diner in a beautiful restaurant.

In 2012, he had surprised her with a week-end in Hawaii. She had always wanted to go there and she had spent the best two days of her life, filled with a lot of very satisfying sex. Donna hadn’t minded not having her daughter with her that day, too happy to see her enjoy her youth.

In 2013, he had taken her out in her favourite restaurant and had gotten her a beautiful bracelet. And that morning, she had been woken up by her mother’s smile and the smell of coffee. It had been simple, quiet, yet perfect.

In 2014, the previous year, they had spent her birthday at her mother’s place. She hadn’t seen her in a very long time, because both their schedule never seemed to match. Seeing her mother and spending the day in Vegas and visiting again all the places she used to hang out in as a teenager had been the best birthday present she could have ever asked for.

Now in 2015, she was dying to know what he had planned. She knew that no matter what they did, the most important thing was that they were going to do it together. She wanted to talk to him, about their marriage, about how she wasn’t feeling well and more importantly about how much she missed him. And she didn’t just miss her husband, but also her best friend. They needed to talk and she knew that telling hard truths would be easier around good food and red wine.

 

* * *

 

Shia was happily licking her face with her raspy tongue, leaving trails of drool of her cheeks. She didn’t stop until Felicity woke up and Felicity was pretty sure that it was her way to wish her a happy birthday. She thought it was a very nice – and also very wet – way to start her day.

“Shia, stop!” She protested, keeping her eyes shut. The puppy wouldn’t stop licking her face even now that she was awake.

She pushed the puppy away from her face, but let her hand wander under her fluffy chin so that she could pet her. She reached for her phone and saw that she had gotten a few texts from her friends still in San Francisco and also one from Thea.

_“9:24 am_

_Hey birthday girl! Enjoy your day and get ready for when I am back in town._

_Sending lots of love, xo_

_TQ”_

Felicity chuckled at that, feeling lighter and happier than she had in a while. Thea was out of town with her boyfriend for the weekend but had made Felicity promise her that they would go out to celebrate her birthday the very moment that she would be back in town.

Felicity jumped out of bed, Shia following her like the good puppy that she was and went to take a shower, humming happily under the hot spray. Today was going to be good day, she was sure of it. She got dressed, still humming, and went down to the kitchen.

“Happy birthday Felicity!” Nana told her cheerfully, hugging her tightly.

“Thank you Nana! I’m pretty sure that it’s going to be one of the happiest ever.”

Nana had made her pancakes with chocolate chips and whipped cream, her favourite breakfast. Felicity picked a blueberry from the bowl on the table and threw it inside her mouth when she heard the bell rang. Shia immediately started barking.

“Eat your breakfast, I’ll be right back!” Nana told her, taking her apron off as she walked out of the kitchen.

She came back minutes later, a huge bouquet of scarlet peonies in hand. Felicity didn’t need to see the red card to know who had sent them.

“It seems that your secret admirer hasn’t forgotten your birthday.”

Felicity rolled her eyes and opened the card.

_“Have a nice day Felicity,_

_OQ”_

“They’re just flowers Nana.”

“Back in my time, flowers were never “just flowers”.”

Felicity shook her head, determined not to dwell on the topic. “Have you seen my husband this morning?”

It was Nana’s turn to shake her head. “No. He was already gone when I came in.”

Felicity tried to hide her disappointment. Nana saw right through her though but didn’t say anything. It was probably what Felicity loved the most about her. She knew when to stay quiet. And she also knew when not to.

She grabbed the peonies and put them in a vase, in Felicity’s office while she finished eating her birthday breakfast.

She wasn’t humming anymore.

 

* * *

 

She took care of herself. It was her birthday after all, if she didn’t take care of herself on that day then she never would.

She went to the swimming-pool in the morning. She swam at least two times per week, it was her way to stay in a good shape. They had a pool back at home, but it wasn’t a heated one. And Felicity didn’t mind going to the public swimming-pool anyway. She had done it back in Vegas, Boston and San Francisco. She could damn well do it in Starling City too.

She ate a light lunch before heading to the spa. She got an oil massage and a whole new mani-pedi. She went to see an aesthetician and waxed her hair. She had been using a razor lately, because of her husband’s lack of interest for sexual activities. It wouldn’t last tonight if she had anything to say about it – and let’s be honest, it was also why she had decided to take good care of herself that day. She wanted to feel beautiful, confident in her own body and she did feel that way when she walked out of the beauty salon. After that she went to her new salon. Her new hairdresser did wonders to her hair, dying them a different shade of blonde, one that made her eyes look like shining sapphires.

When she went home, she felt perfect and ready to enjoy her evening. She put on a nice blue dress, Ray’s favourite colour and the bracelet he had gotten her for her twenty second birthday. Then, once she was ready, she waited for him to come home.

He never did.

 

* * *

 

He called her around 8 pm. He wasn’t going to be able to make it. Could they reschedule?

Sure they could.

It was just her birthday. She could reschedule that special day as many times as necessary.

The day in itself didn’t matter after all. What mattered was to be together. To feel loved.

Except that they weren’t together.

And she didn’t feel loved.

 

* * *

 

She wasn’t going to be sad, miserable and alone on her birthday. It was Saturday. Surely, there was something one could do on a Saturday night in Starling City. Felicity’s eyes fell on the flowers sent by Oliver. _Verdant_. His nightclub. She had never been the nightclub kind of girl. Well, she had never been the wallowing in self-pity kind of girl either and here, there she was, sitting on her bed, eating chocolates, an empty glass of very expensive red wine in her hand. Things changed, obviously.

She didn’t want to be that lonely and sad person, who sat down on her bed in a beautiful dress, waiting for a husband that wouldn’t come. She had been doing that for far too long. So tonight, she was going to do things differently. She was going to be different. And maybe, she’d learn a few things about herself in the meantime.

She took off her beautiful dress and shoes. She opened her closet and spotted, hidden somewhere a strapless sequins dress that her mother had offered her when she had been in college. Felicity had never worn it. Tonight, it was going to change.

She undid her hair and let them fall on her shoulders, wild curls framing her face. She put contacts on. She hadn’t in a while. She did her make-up. Usually, it was light and simple. Tonight, it was dark and complicated. Eye-liner, mascara, eye-shadow, blush and lipstick. She painted her face with all of them. She had felt beautiful earlier. Now she was gorgeous and she really liked the feeling of it.

 

* * *

 

Her dress was too short. Her jacket did nothing to protect her from the cold air. Her heels were too high. She didn’t feel like herself. It was the whole point.

She got into the club. She was first assaulted by the smell of sweat and alcohol. As she made her way inside, she could feel the ground trembles to the rhythm of the loud music under her heels. The bar was crowded. So was the dance-floor. Smoke was released as she walked in. She coughed. Then, flickering green lights enlightened the white and heavy smoke, making her blink away to protect her eyes.

Felicity went to the bar and ordered something strong. She was going to get herself a very nice hang-over for her birthday. The barmaid, a cute blonde with bright blue eyes, handed her a glass. She drank it down in one go. The alcohol burnt her throat and made her wince. She ordered another drink. And drank it down in one go too, impressing the barmaid.

She was a light weight. The two drinks she had just had plus the glass of wine she had drunk back at home were enough for her to feel pleasantly buzzed. But she didn’t mind. On the contrary, she felt fucking fantastic. Alcohol was kicking in her veins, making her blood boil and heat pooled in her core. She hadn’t felt that good in a very long time. All her worries seemed so far away from her now, she wasn’t even sure she remembered why she had been feeling so bad in the first place.

She turned around on her stool and stared at the dancefloor. Some people were dancing energetically. Some others were just jumping and waving their arms in the air as they screamed the lyrics of whatever song the DJ was mixing. And then, there were the people who flirted. Who rubbed against each other sensually, following the rhythm of a song only them could hear. The people who kissed passionately in the middle of the crowd. Maybe they’d regret it in the morning but at the moment, they didn’t seem to regret anything. Felicity envied them. She had never had that. They had never been like that.  Ray and Felicity. Always calm. Always reasonable. Always together. Never loud. Never wild. Never irrational.

She jumped on her feet and stepped toward the dancefloor.

“Felicity, is that you?”

She turned around and saw Oliver Queen staring at her, his eyes very blue and wide open, his mouth agape.

“Felicity?” He asked again. He looked baffled, like someone had come to him with a problem he normally should be able to solve but couldn’t for some reasons.

“Oliiiver!” She greeted him, smiling brightly. Okay, maybe she wasn’t just buzzed. She shook her head and forced herself to focus on the Greek god standing in front of them.

“Greek god, huh?” He said, a smug grin on his face.

“Don’t sound so surprised! You’re a very handsome specimen and you know it.”

He tilted his head. “But you never called me a Greek god before.”

“Well, I’m sorry I’m a married woman who doesn’t like flirting back with very handsome billionaires.” What the hell was wrong with her mouth? Had she really just said that he was flirting with her?

“How many drinks did you have?” He asked her, his amused grin fading away, replaced by a judgmental frowning. She didn’t like it when he did that. How dared he?

“Not your business,” she shot back, her tone colder than before.

“It’s my club,” he reminded her.

“But my body. I put whatever I want in it.” She paused when she saw his already wide eyes opening even wider. “I didn’t mean it that way. Although, it would be nice to put…”

He covered her mouth with his hand to make her shut up. “You should go home Felicity. This isn’t you.”

She pushed his hand away, annoyed. “You don’t know me Oliver so don’t act like you do.” She stepped aside. “Besides I want to dance!” She added, staring longingly at the dance-floor. She stepped toward it, feeling pulled by the moving bodies there.

“Don’t!” He told her, making her snap her attention back to him. She saw a flash of something she couldn’t name going through his eyes.

“I am not asking for your permission Oliver!” She told him, hoping that he’d get the message and stop being so bossy. She almost tripped when she got off her stool. She had clearly underestimated the dangerousness of the combination of her very high-heels and alcohol. She walked toward the dance-floor, her gait steadier. She mentally congratulated herself. She hadn’t tripped in front of Oliver. Yay! “Oh and BTW,” she told Oliver, spinning around to face him once again. “Your birthday card sucked! You didn’t even write “happy” and “birthday” on it.”

 

* * *

 

She melted away into the masses.

For a while, she wasn’t Felicity Smoak-Palmer. For a while, she was just a girl.

Cheering. Dancing. Waving her arms. Shouting. Undulating.

For a while, she felt like she had gotten herself back. There was no journalists there. No customers. No husband. No one.

And it was exhilarating.

And weird. Because when had she started to feel more like herself on a crowded dance-floor, alcohol warming her insides?

 

* * *

 

When the headache came, she stepped away from the dancefloor. Her phone had been buzzing non-stop in her pocket. She had ignored all the calls, guessing that they were probably all from Ray.

She made her way toward a table, in the back of the club. She needed to sit down for a bit, and get away from the noise. Two strong hands grabbed her and dragged her toward a dark alcove before she could reach her destination. She tried to get away but the hands were just too strong. They pinned her to the wall, their grip firm on her shoulders. She gasped, fear making her heart throb in her chest, but the crowd swallowed the noise.

She looked up and her eyes met Oliver’s. They weren’t blue anymore. They were dark. His jaw was clenched, the lines of his face hard. And his eyes, they were doing their thing again. That thing where they looked at her and seemed to reach the depth of her heart and soul effortlessly.

“Oliver, what the…” Her words died in her throat when she saw him parting his lips, his eyes now focusing on her mouth. For a second there, she thought that he was going to kiss her. He didn’t.

“I know you Felicity,” he said, his voice low and husky, carefully pronouncing all the syllables of her name. He had a way to make her name sound like it was more than just her name. Like it was a blessing as much as it was a curse. And wow, clearly alcohol did things to her brain. Since when did she pay attention to the way Oliver Queen said her name? “I knew you even before I met you.”

“Presumptuous much?” She said, trying to get away from him. He didn’t let her.

“You’re part of a family that needs to look perfect to the outside the world,” he told her, his voice calm and focused. “You play the role you’ve been given.” He paused, closing his eyes briefly, looking for his next words. “You’re like a doll to them. A doll they play with as they wish. They let you be beautiful but not gorgeous. They let you be admired but not desired. They let you be smart, but not brilliant.”

It was her turn to stare at him with her eyes wide open. “You jerk, how dare you?” She shout angrily, trying yet again to get away from his grasp. He tightened his hold on her. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt her, but it was hard enough to force her to stay still.

“And you’ve been playing this role for so long,” he went on, his tone fiercer, piercing the defences around her heart and mind, “that you’ve convinced yourself that this is who you are.” He paused, his eyes hardening. “You’ve fed the paparazzi so many lies, you can’t tell the truth from them anymore. You’re bored with your life. It has never been the one that you wanted and yet, you’ve kept making choices that led you right to it. I watched you dance tonight Felicity. I watched you wearing different clothes, different make-up, different everything. You didn’t want to be yourself tonight. Do you want to know why?” He didn’t wait for her answer and just went on. “Because you’re lost. You’re lost, and miserable, and lonely, Felicity.”

“You’re an asshole!” She spit out. Gone was her anger. She was mad now. No scratch that. She was beyond mad. She was _furious_.

“I guess it’s been a while since you’ve told people how you really feel about them, right?” He pressed her further into the wall, his strong body fitting awkwardly against her soft and more especially, taller than usual one. “You can go on. You can insult me. I don’t mind.”

She stared at him, words dying on her lips. She was breathing heavily, her heart was racing in her chest. “You’re not worth it,” she eventually said.

He didn’t reply to that. Instead, he just stared at her and she stared back at him, holding his gaze without trying to hide anything. His words had hurt her and she wanted him to see the pain he had caused her.

“I didn’t wish you a happy birthday Felicity because I know you’re not happy,” he told her, his voice soft and soothing again. “And you’ll never be happy. Unless, you don’t let them control you anymore.”

She swallowed hard. They didn’t exactly control her. They just made sure that her public image remained impeccable. “You don’t know what it is,” she said, her voice weak, her shoulders falling limp.

He chuckled dryly at that. “Don’t I? I am a Queen, Felicity. I was born in this kind of life. But just like you, I wasn’t made for it.”

She shook her head. “You don’t know me,” she repeated her words from earlier. “And we’re nothing alike.”

“Oh yes we are,” he assured her. “You just can’t see it yet.”

“If you think that I’ll ever talk to you again after that, then you’re a bigger fool than I thought.”

He ignored her comment. “I’m not really worried about that,” he chuckled.

“Again, presumptuous Mr. Queen,” she said through gritted teeth.

He shook his head. “That’s not it.” He paused. “I want you Felicity,” he told her. “I’ve wanted you ever since I saw you that day at QC.”

Her next breath got caught in her throat because what?

“And one day, I’ll have you.” He paused, staring at her and she felt every inch of her body freeze. “Not just because I want you,” he added. “But because you’ll want me too.”

She tensed up at his words. He really was presumptuous. She wanted to tell him to go fuck himself but she found herself unable to articulate any words. He was still looking at her, the dark slowly fading from his eyes, the bright blue she had gotten used to coming back. Slowly, he leaned toward her. She tensed up even more. He stopped barely an inch away from her cheek.

“And I promise you that it won’t be another lie,” he whispered against her skin, his voice so low she almost didn’t hear him. He then leaned forward, erasing the distance between them and pressed a soft kiss to the side of her jaw, right under her ear. The hard tension that had settled in her body melted away immediately. She relaxed against him, exhaling heavily. His lips lingered on that spot and she shut her eyes, trying to find get a grip on her anger, looking for the strength to tell him to go fu…

“Let go of me,” she ordered him, finally, feeling shaken up in her core.

He released her immediately. “You should probably go home.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“It was just a friendly advice.”

“We’re not friends,” she said, her voice steadier now that she wasn’t assaulted by his warmth, his scent, his strength, and basically his everything.

He didn’t reply to that and just let her leave. She still could feel his heated eyes on her even after she was out of the club.

 

* * *

 

She woke up with a pounding in her head. And a yelling husband.

Ray was mad.

“Do you know how much money I had to give them so that they wouldn’t publish the photos of your little escapade?”

“What were you thinking?”

“Do you think that the company’s image hasn’t suffered enough already?”

She didn’t reply to that. She just let him talk and ramble about the company’s image, how they were supposed to look, what they could and couldn’t do.

One word echoed in her head as she listened to him.

_Doll._

 

* * *

 

Ray said that she was acting different. That she had been ever since they had had the pregnancy scare. She heard him listed all the things she had been doing differently.

She had stopped going to work with him. He had made it pretty clear that he only needed her to praise him.

She had started cooking. He wasn’t eating with her anymore so she had decided to try to surprise him.

She had started to help a college girl. He had made them move out and she had had to make new friends.

She had gotten a dog. He had been so absent, she had started to feel lonely.

When he had been done, he had told her to leave Starling, to go away for some time. To figure out what she needed to figure out.

She took the company’s jet, Shia and fly away to Hawaii.

 

* * *

 

She spent a bit more than two weeks in Honolulu.

She slept twelve hours per night. She hadn’t realised how exhausted she had been until she had collapsed on her white bed, in the villa she was renting.

The rest of her time, she spent it on the beach or in the ocean. The water was a bit cold, but it was okay with her. She found it invigorating.

She walked Shiawase on the beach every morning and every evening. Together, they watched the colourful sunset. The puppy had been scared of the water at first but then, she had gotten used to the sound of the waves and had started enjoying walking in the sand.

Felicity thought a lot.

Just not about what Ray had told her.

She thought about Oliver’s words instead. About how they had stung. About how they had hurt her.

Why had they hurt her so much?

Well, maybe because he hadn’t been really nice. And Oliver had been nothing but nice to her ever since they had met – his flirty manners aside. Maybe because they had been said by Oliver, of all people.

Or maybe they had hurt her because they had been true.

In the midst of all the lies she had been feeding herself with, she had almost forgotten how the truth sounded.

It didn’t sound nearly as good as the lies she had been telling everyone.

 

* * *

 

Felicity came home in time to celebrate Thanksgiving with her mother and Ray’s family. They had invited his parents over, as well as his mother’s sister.

Donna was talking with Ray’s mother while the two men were talking business. Felicity was sipping a glass of wine after the diner, Shia’s head on her lap. Ray’s aunt came to sit down next to her in the sunroom.

“How was your trip my dear?”

“Good! I love Honolulu. I don’t know why, but I always feel really at peace there.”

Ray’s Aunt, Gemma, smiled at her. “Tropical islands have that effect on people.”

Felicity chuckled at her words. Her eyes fell on Ray, who was watching her. He looked away when she caught him staring.

“Is everything okay my dear? My sister was a bit worried when you left Starling without Ray.”

“Yes,” she lied. “We’re okay.”

“I didn’t ask about you and Ray specifically my dear,” Gemma said.

Felicity shut her eyes, sighing. “Well, everything is okay. And that includes Ray and me.”

Gemma nodded firmly. “Good. We were afraid for a while that this world had gotten the better out of you.”

Felicity tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s not easy to be a part of the corporate world. I always told my sister that marrying Ray’s father was a huge mistake. She married him anyway, because she loved him and didn’t mind following the path that had been traced for her.”

Felicity leaned forward. She had never told her anything about this. “Do you think that she regrets marrying Ray’s father?”

Gemma shook her head. “She’ll never regret having her son that much I can tell. As for the rest, I don’t know.”

Felicity nodded, petting Shia’s head absentmindedly. Gemma’s piercing eyes on her were making her uncomfortable. She shifted a bit and Shia put a paw on her thigh, to keep her from moving.

“You should know that she tried to divorce him.”

Felicity blinked. “Why should I know this?”

“Let’s not lie to each other Felicity,” Gemma said before leaning toward her and whispering. “When that awful story about Raymond Senior came out, she only pretended not to have heard about it before.” Gemma paused, looking around to make sure that no one was listening. “She had heard about it before and had even asked for a divorce. She never got it.”

Felicity frowned. “How come?”

Gemma shrugged. “You don’t divorce your husband. Not when both your families are old and influent and that said husband is managing a billion dollars’ worth company.”

 

* * *

 

Later, as Ray was sleeping, soundly, Felicity found herself unable to close her eyes.

She turned on her side. Then she rolled on her stomach only to roll back on her back five minutes later. Exhausted, she got up and went to the kitchen.

She poured herself a glass of milk and went back to the sunroom. The cool air of the night made the room chilly so she wrapped herself in a fluffy blanket. She sat down on a comfortable chair and sipped her drink, thinking about her conversation with Gemma.

And she wondered why nobody had ever told her that marrying Ray could, potentially, be a huge mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	5. December 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!!
> 
> It's Valentine's day today, so here's a new chapter with some Olicity goodness, because we all deserve some Olicity goodness on Valentine's day.  
> As always, I really want to thank you for the huge support and the amazing responses this story is getting. You guys make me so happy, you truly are the best :)
> 
> I hope that you will all have a good day, whether you spent it with your significant other, your family or your friends, filled with love and chocolate cake! <3
> 
> Happy Valentine's day!! :D

The Polyvore sets, as per usual!

The Queen Christmas' party [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_christmas_party_felicity/set?id=186742994) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_christmas_party_thea/set?id=186743582) / [(Moira)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_christmas_party_moira/set?id=186743487)

[The Alps.](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_alps/set?id=186759056)

* * *

 

 

December 2015.

 

Ray spoiled Felicity for Hanukah.

She didn’t ask for anything. He did it anyway.

She wondered why. Did he feel guilty for not being very present? And if it was the case, did he really think that offering her expensive gifts would make it up to her?

The first day, he got her a box of her favourite French brand of macarons.

The second day, he got her a new chair, more comfortable, for her office in their new house. It was the first piece of furniture he bought by himself for their new house. Better late than never.

The third day, he got her a new tablet, one that wasn’t even out yet.

The fourth day, he got her a new dress, to wear at the Christmas party thrown by the Queen family at Queen Consolidated.

The fifth day, he got her new earrings – she loved earrings – to go with her new dress.

The sixth day, he got her new shoes, a special gift from her favourite designer, again to go with her new dress.

The seventh day, he got her expensive cosmetics.

The eigth day, the last one, she had stopped wishing that he would come home in time to light her Menorah with her. She didn’t bother opening his gift. She put it in her closet and forget about it. He didn’t even realise that she hadn’t opened it.

Ray spoiled her for Hanukah. He gave her everything a woman could ever wish for.

And he didn’t give her the only thing she truly wanted.

_Time_.

 

* * *

 

The Queen’s Christmas party was a mundanity that the members of Starling’s elite couldn’t miss. Felicity had to be there, Thea had made it abundantly clear.

It wasn’t like she had needed to beg Felicity to come though. Her parents had invited Ray and his “delightful” wife to the party. Ray had agreed to go and had left Felicity with no other choice but to go as well. And it didn’t matter to him that she didn’t want to go. They had been invited, they would honour the invitation, end of the discussion. If you could call him ordering her around a discussion.

Felicity didn’t want to go. She didn’t feel like partying and it had nothing to do with her current situation with Ray – or lack of situation with him really – but everything with her father. She couldn’t help it, despite her best efforts, his absence was always harder to bear around the holy days. It had been this way since she was a child and things hadn’t changed when she had grown up.

She felt stupid for feeling that way. She knew now that if her father had left it was because he had had his own reasons, reasons that she’d probably never know about. She knew it wasn’t her fault and that feeling sad wouldn’t bring him back. Being happy together hadn’t been enough to keep him around, being sad without him would certainly not make him change his mind. Her brain knew all that and had made peace with everything a long time ago. Her heart just hadn’t gotten the memo. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop the throbbing pain caused by the fracture that bore his name on her heart. It would never heal, she couldn’t fix it.

Nobody could.

His absence echoed painfully against the decaying walls of the room he had left empty when he had walked out of her life. And that pain was even stronger at a time where people got together to celebrate love and family.

 

* * *

 

Her reluctance to go to the Christmas party had nothing to do with Oliver Queen.

Nope. Nothing. Not a single damn thing.

She had barely seen him since the big fiasco that had been her birthday. It had been partly due to the time she had spent out of town and that was _completely_ fine with her.

She had been wondering about what he had told her a lot. His words had been harsh, his tone jerky. And it had hurt. A lot. Mainly because everything was true.

Ray and her had always been careful with their public image. They had always taken care of it, making sure it was flawless. He was the heir of a big company, they needed to make sure that whatever they did, did not affect the company’s image. But ever since the scandal that had gotten Ray’s father dismissed, everything had worsened. Their nights out were planned in advance. Their dress code had changed. Their speeches weren’t written by them anymore.

Felicity hadn’t seen how deep she had been in until some guy in a club had told her that she was in all over her head.

She didn’t want to see Oliver at the party. She had had her fair share of hard truths.

But on the other hand, she wanted to see him. She had kind of gotten use to see his handsome face, to hear his snarky comments or annoying chuckle. She had gotten use to have serious talks with him and his sister. Now that she hadn’t seen him in a very long time, she found herself missing him.

And she hated that because he was a jerk.

A jerk who had sent her flowers. Who had spent time with her. Who had told her some truths she hadn’t been ready to hear. Who had told her he wanted her.

Yeah… He really was a jerk.

 

* * *

 

“Oh my god, what the hell?” Felicity shouted.

Both Ray and Nana were inside her room before she could blink.

“What’s wrong?” Her husband asked, his hair still wet from his shower.

“My dress…”  She turned around so that they could both see it. Nana sighed heavily and Ray just glanced at the dress before looking up to her again.

“How did that happen?” He asked expectantly, pointing at the huge stain on the front of her dress.

“I have no idea,” she told him, turning around to face the mirror again. She held the dress by the hanger in front of her, trying to see if there was a way for her to still wear a dress. Maybe if she wore a jacket, she’d be able to hide the stain. Or maybe not.

“Was it already there when you opened the box?” He asked her, looking slightly annoyed, the disappointment in his eyes, clear.

_“You wouldn’t have to ask this question, had you been there when I opened it_ ,” she thought angrily, fisting the fabric of the dress to try to contain herself.

“No, it wasn’t,” she replied, her breathing still uneven. “What are we going to do?” She asked, looking at Nana, hoping that the old woman would have a suggestion. She was always full of good advice, surely she’d know how to fix that mess.

“There is nothing that we can do about it tonight sweetheart,” she told her. “I am sorry.”

Felicity’s shoulders went limp. She had wanted to wear Ray’s dress, not because she liked it, although it was indeed a nice dress, but because she had wanted to make him happy. She knew he would have loved to see her wearing his dress.

“But don’t worry, I’ve seen something in your closet that will go perfectly with your new earrings,” Nana added. She squeezed Felicity’s arm softly before leaving the room.

“Ray, I am…” His phone rang and he picked up, letting her words of apology die on her lips.

She sat down on her bed, frustrated. Why couldn’t he see her? Why couldn’t he stay more than ten seconds alone with his wife? What was wrong with him? What was wrong with _her_?

The door to her room opened again and Nana walked in, Shia trotting happily behind her. Felicity gasped when she saw the dress that she had picked.

“It would have been a shame to leave this beauty in your closet, don’t you think?”

Felicity raised her eyes to meet hers. She arched an eyebrow in question but Nana just winked playfully at her before urging her up.

“Come on, get dressed! You have people to knock off their feet.”

Well, she was wrong about that.

There was only person she wanted to knock off their feet now that she had seen the dress Nana had picked for her.

Hint?

It wasn’t her husband.

 

* * *

 

The Dress – because yes, it deserved a capital D – was a blush embroidered gown, with a deep V-neck that showed a decent part of her cleavage. The fabric fitted her body perfectly, highlighting her perfect curves. They arrived at the party and when Felicity saw everyone looking at her in awe, she knew she was rocking that dress and that everyone could see it. She silently thanked her unwavering determination that had pushed her to go to the swimming-pool, even when it had been freezing outside.

When they arrived, they were greeted by Moira and Robert.

“Felicity, darling, you look absolutely beautiful tonight,” Robert told her, kissing the back of her hand.

She felt herself blush. She glanced at Ray, who was greeting Moira by kissing her hand too. “Thank you Mr. Queen,” she told him. “Moira, this place is absolutely stunning. You did a wonderful job.”

And she truly meant it. The theme for the decoration of the room was white and silver. And everything was white and silver. From the table, to the trails carrying by the waiters, everything was white and silver. It didn’t prevent the atmosphere from being warm and convivial. On the contrary, everything looked pure and welcoming.

“Thank you my dear!” Moira said, a genuine smile on her face. “I am so glad to see you tonight, I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while.”

Felicity frowned, curious. “Oh really, about what?”

“Well, Thea has told me that you had a lot of free time…”

Felicity froze. What?

“I am well-aware that you are working as a free consultant, but she mentioned that you were really good at your job and that it left you with a lot of free time. Some of it you spent helping her with her homework, for which I am very grateful.”

Felicity smiled, relaxing slowly. “You’re very welcome Mrs. Queen.” She paused, looking for what to say next. “But Thea shouldn’t have bothered you with that. She really talks too much!” She joked.

Moira laughed. “That’s something I can’t disagree with.” She smiled warmly at Felicity again before saying. “But she didn’t bother me. On the contrary, she opened my eyes.” She paused for a second. “I organise most of the charities in Starling, with the help of other women all determined to make everyone’s life in the city better. In May, we have this big event, we organise it to collect funds for Starling General Hospital. I was wondering if you would be interested in helping us preparing the event.”

Felicity stared at her, surprised and flattered. It was really nice of Moira to try to include her into her circle of friends and relations.

“I’d be really happy too,” she gladly accepted.

She turned around to see Ray’s reaction to the news, but he was already far away, talking to some businessman she didn’t know with Robert.

 

* * *

 

She didn’t see Oliver. She didn’t look for him.

She ran into Thea at some point. Her friend introduced her to her boyfriend, Roy Harper. He looked like a nice guy, although he didn’t talk that much. Then, they both went away to dance.

Felicity was left alone then, with nothing to do but stare at the people around her. She had no more hands to shake. And she didn’t feel like doing small talk with people she didn’t know.

Her husband was still talking business.

One could actually doubt it was a Christmas party.

 

* * *

 

She didn’t look for Oliver. And it was okay, because he was the one who found her in the end.

He looked better than she remembered in a tux. She didn’t tell him that though, he would have liked it too much.

He stared at her, unabashedly taking her in.

“Not so bad for a doll,” she told him after a while, eager to break the silence.

He gave her a small smile. “It’s not red.”

Jerk.

Despite the colour of her dress not being to his liking, his eyes lingered on her, making her heart speed up in her chest. She mentally congratulated herself and left a note somewhere in her mind to thank Nana, for everything. And maybe she could buy her another Christmas present. Felicity had wanted to knock one Oliver Queen off of his feet. Judging from the way he was looking at her, she was close from succeeding. His heated eyes came back to her face, making her blush slightly.

_I want you_ was what they were telling her.

“Felicity?”

The urgency in his tone made her realise that he had been talking to her. She shook her head to get a grip on her thoughts. “Sorry, you were saying?”

“Would you like to dance?”

“With you?”

He nodded. Clearly, he was one confident man. After everything that happened between them at his club, he couldn’t seriously expect her to say yes, right?

“So you want me to dance with you so that I can listen to you talk about how fake and unhappy I am?” She shook her head, wincing slightly. “No, thank you.”

He chuckled at that. “Come on Felicity, I promise you’ll have a good time.” He then extended his hand toward her.

She considered him for a while. One dance wouldn’t hurt her, right? Besides it’s not like she had to listen to anything he’d have to say. She could just take his hand and follow his lead. Yeah she could do that. She was going to do that.

She took his hand but because she didn’t want him to believe that he had won so easily, she said. “Let me warn you, if you step on my toes, I’ll…”

He chuckled again, louder this time. She liked the sound of it, especially when he wasn’t doing it to annoy her. “Don’t worry! I’ve been taking dance lessons for years now. I am an expert.”

“Of course you are,” she whispered in his chest as he pulled her toward him. He put a hand on her waist. She put hers on his shoulder. She stared at their joined hands, his, big, warm and tanned, and hers, small, cool and white. He led them on the dancefloor, following the rhythm of the music. Moira had hired a quartet. Apparently, the Queen never did things halfway.

“So, how is your evening going?” Oliver asked, being apparently an expert at dancing and _talking_ and making her realise that she couldn’t just ignore him. Clearly, she had misjudged how close to each other they were going to be. He was so close to her, his voice was actually softly whispering his words against her hair. How was she supposed to ignore him when she could feel the warmth coming from his chest against her breast?

“Good, I guess,” she replied, still not looking at him. Small-talk. She could do small-talk. “Yours?”

“It just got a lot better.”

“Oliver…” She started, trying to pull away from him.

“Felicity,” he cut her off instantly, tightening his grip on her, bringing her impossibly closer to him. “I am sorry.”

“About what?” She asked raising her eyes to meet his. “Don’t tell me you’re sorry for what you said, because we both know that you meant every word.”

He pinched his lips together. “I did mean every word. But I shouldn’t have talked to you the way I did. I was mad and…”

“And?”

“I don’t react well when I am mad,” he confessed, looking away from her, and that had to be a first.

“Why were you mad?” She asked, her eyes chasing his. She gasped when she met them again, the honesty she saw shining in them catching her off guards.

A small smile tugged at his lips. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

She nodded, not wanting to push him into talking to her. If he had something to say to her, he’d tell her. He had proved that much that night at _Verdant_.

They danced for a while, oblivious to the world. She relaxed into his embrace, his comforting warmth soothing the anger and the resentment she still held against him. They held each other more tightly song after song. His hand was still high on her waist, but lower and he had moved his other one so that he could draw tiny meaningless patterns on the inside of her palm.

They hadn’t known each other for a very long time, but the way she leaned against him, or the way he moved her around, made it seem like they had been dancing together for a very long time.

She raised her eyes to meet his again, taken aback by the new feelings and sensations that were making her heart clench almost painfully in her chest. She shouldn’t feel that comfortable around him but yet she did. She had, ever since she had met him.

“You look really beautiful tonight.”

Goose bumps erupted on her skin when she heard his words. He had told her she had been beautiful in her black backless dress. But he hadn’t said it the way he just had. His voice was rough and husky, laced with want and desire.

No one had talked to her like that in a very long time.

She bit on her lower lip, not knowing what to say and how to say it. His eyes fluttered on her lips for a second. And she saw a flash of desire in his eyes, one that made her heart jump in her throat. The intimacy of the moment should have scared her away. It didn’t because it just felt so natural to be close to him.

“Felicity?”

In a second, the spell was broken.

Their moment was gone.

They both stopped dancing and turned to face Ray.

“Mind if I dance with my wife for a bit?” Ray asked.

Oliver stepped away. Felicity’s hand missed his immediately. And she felt cold without his warmth engulfing her. “No. She’s all yours.”

 

* * *

 

Later that night, Felicity found herself wandering in QC’s hallways, her heels in one hand, her dress in her other hand so that she wouldn’t trip on it.

She wondered what would have happened to her if she hadn’t met Ray. She would have graduated and probably started looking for a job in an IT department. Or maybe she’d have felt more confident and would have looked for something more, something that fit with her abilities. She wondered which company she’d have chosen. Would she have picked Wayne Enterprises? Lucius Fox had contacted her after she had graduated from MIT. He had been disappointed when she had told him that she was leaving to live on the West Coast. Palmer Industries? Maybe she would have met Ray. Maybe they would have fallen for each other. Maybe they would have gotten married… Or maybe, she would have picked Queen Consolidated. Maybe she would have come to Starling. Maybe she would have met Oliver under very different circumstances.

She would have liked that a lot.

 

* * *

 

She found him on the executive floor. He was sitting on the desk of his father’s executive assistant. The lights of the city were being reflected on his face. He was still with his eyes were lost in the skyline. It was almost like he was frozen time. He looked like one of these thinking guys the Greek used to sculpt. And that comparison triggered the memory of her telling him that he looked like a Greek God. She felt herself blush in embarrassment.

“What are you doing up here, alone?”

He jumped back in surprise. For once, she had been the one startling him.

“Getting away from the crowd. The party’s too loud!” He joked.

She chuckled at his words and sat down next to him. His tux’s jacket was opened, revealing his suspenders. Was he doing that on purpose? Didn’t he know that the mere vision of them made her think about the most wicked things?

“What are _you_ doing here though?”

“Ray’s talking to your father about his new invention,” she told him, trying not to sound annoyed and failing.

They both remained silent after that, staring silently at the city through the wide windows. Starling looked peaceful from where they were and Felicity realised that she liked the city better from there.

“Thanks for keeping your promise,” she told him, drawing confidence from his solid presence next to her.

“My promise?”

She turned her head, to look at him. “You promised I’d have a nice time dancing with you. I had.”

He smiled brightly at her and that made her smile too. She didn’t like it when he was brooding. When he was getting lost in his own head and losing that smile of his she had grown fond of over the past few weeks.

“What are you doing here?” She asked again, feeling a burst of confidence flooding her veins. She had told herself she wouldn’t try to solve him. But they had had a nice moment together earlier and it had left her eager for more of him.

He didn’t answer her question right away. He remained silent for a while, his eyes lost in the city beneath them. “I used to come up here when I was a child and the party bored me to death,” he told her.

“Does that party bore you to death? Please, don’t say yes, because that would mean that dancing with me was boring and it really wasn’t so…”

He chuckled at her words. “No, the party doesn’t bore me to death. It took me a while to realise it but the problem doesn’t come from the party itself. It comes from the people.”

“You’re not helping your case mister,” she teased him.

“Felicity you’re the least boring person I’ve ever met,” he told her. “Awkward, sure. But not boring.”

“Hey!” She protested, smacking his arm playfully.

“Ouch!” He whined, rubbing his arm. “Awkward looks cute on you, you know!”

She huffed back a laugh. “Shut up,” she said, amused. “Just shut up!”

He smiled at her and they both stayed silent for a while not saying anything. “My father,” Oliver said, “always had great expectations for me. He wanted me to be like him. If I had been the son he had wanted me to be, I would have been working here every day. I like to come here from time to time. It reminds me why I made the choices that I’ve made along the years. My father didn’t always approve them but he got over it. Or he will, someday.”

“You’re saying that your father doesn’t approve of who you are? Of what you’ve done with your life?”

“No, I am just saying that it’s not what he had envisioned for me.”

“At least he envisioned something for you,” she whispered.

Oliver turned to look at her, concern written all over his face. “What…?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she told him. “Besides, this conversation is about you, not me.”

He opened his mouth, to reply something but his words died on his lips. That’s when she realised how close they were from one another. Actually, they were close enough for her to feel his breath on her lips. Or the strong smell of his cologne, mixed with something warmer, softer. Something that was just him.

“I want to kiss you Felicity,” he whispered after a while, his eyes falling on her lips.

She shut her eyes at his words. She should step away. Maybe even slap him. She was a married woman. And a faithful one.

“Felicity, please…”

But that was Oliver.

Oliver who had sent her flowers and flirty cards. Who had spent time with her. Who had made her laugh. Who had opened her eyes on a few things. Who had danced with her. Who wanted her.

It was just a random kiss after all. A random kiss didn’t have to mean anything at all.

She leaned forward and tentatively brushed her lips against his.

It was all the encouragements he needed.

Then it wasn’t just a random kiss anymore.

It was a kiss.

He cupped her cheeks with his hand and crashed their lips together. She expected him to devour her, to take everything she had to give, considering the way he had abruptly locked their lips.

He didn’t.

He just pressed his lips firmly against hers, in a chaste and lingering kiss that set her blood on fire.

When they parted for air, their lips stayed close, allowing them to breathe the same air. His thumbs were softly caressing the skin of her cheeks. The intimacy of the moment made her heart throb in her chest.

She pulled away and gasped when a ray of light got caught in the diamonds in her engagement ring.

Ray.

The realisation of what she had just done fell upon her. “I shouldn’t have done that,” she said, standing up, her heart still racing in her chest from that kiss they had just shared.

“Felicity,” Oliver said, pronouncing her name in that particularly sweet way of his.

“Don’t!” She cut him off, raising her hand to keep some space between them. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

And with that, she turned around and left him.

She didn’t look back.

 

* * *

 

“You can’t do what you did tonight again,” Ray said.

_“Don’t I know that?”_ she thought, bitterly. _“Wait, what?”_

“What?”

“You can’t do that again,” he repeated. “Dancing with another man.”

She frowned to hide her relief. “Why is that? I saw Moira Queen herself dancing with someone that wasn’t her husband.”

“Well, Moira Queen didn’t dance with someone with a shaky reputation.”

_What?_

“Oliver’s not like that anymore,” she assured him.

_Liar._

“How would you know that? It’s not like he’s your friend, is it?”

She look down toward her hands, which were gripping her dress tightly, her lips still tingling from the kiss Oliver and her had shared earlier. “Right,” she said.

“I am sorry Felicity, maybe you’re right, maybe he’s a nice guy. I don’t know and I don’t care. We can’t afford another scandal.”

 

* * *

 

The article about the Christmas party the next day proved him right.

There were lots of pictures from the party. The largest one was of Oliver and her. It had been taken while they had been dancing. They were gazing at each other, so tenderly it made her heart clench in her chest at the memory of their dance.

The journalist had written a small comment under the picture: _“It seems that Robert Queen and Ray Palmer aren’t the only ones who have been getting closer.”_

“Pack your things,” Ray said, as he took the newspaper from her hands. “We’re going to spend a week in the Alps. We leave tonight, as soon as I am done with my last meeting of the year with the board.”

 

* * *

 

The bouquet of peonies and the red card arrived after she was done showering.

_“Was that kiss still about me? Or was it about you?_

_Either, it was still the best Christmas gift ever,_

_OQ”_

She put the bouquet in her office and kept the card in her drawer, with the others.

“Did you have a nice time last night?” Nana asked from behind her.

Felicity sighed heavily. “Apparently, it was too nice,” she replied.

“Don’t worry about Mr. Ray. He’s just worrying too much. He always does.”

Felicity sighed. She had kissed a man that wasn’t her husband. Said husband should be worried.

“Try to enjoy your vacation,” Nana said. “I am sure Shia will love the snow.”

Felicity put a smile on her lips to hide her turmoil.

“I am sure she will too.”

 

* * *

 

They spent a week in the Alps.

She had a nice time.

Ray probably had a nice too, locked in his study, making phone-calls and Skyping people all day long. Why had he taken her on a vacation in the Alps if he had so many things to do?

Easy: he had needed to show people that even if his wife and Oliver Queen had gotten closer, he was still the closest person to her heart. She was used to PR’s techniques. Still, it hurt to be used that way.

 

* * *

 

He kissed her on the lips at midnight, January the 1rst.

It didn’t lead to sex though. He was too tired.

And she felt relieved that he was.

What kind of woman didn’t want to have sex with her husband? Probably the kind of woman who kissed people at parties and couldn’t erase the feel of said people’s lips.

Except she hadn’t kissed people.

She had kissed one man.

Oliver Queen.

And as she struggled to fall asleep next to her husband, she wondered if she would ever forget about how his lips had felt against hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	6. January 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!
> 
> Here's the new chapter and it includes some Olicity goodness and some Thea/Felicity friendship... I hope that you will all like it.  
> I wanted to thank you for the amazing response the last chapter got! I was blown away and it made me feel so happy because my Valentine's day was kind of lame (FYI college's assignements aren't a good Valentine's date). Your comments cheered me up :D Thanks a lot :D:D
> 
> Happy reading!

The Polyvore sets for the chapter :)

Shopping trip [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_shopping_trip_felicity/set?id=187079132) / [(Helena)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_shopping_trip_helena/set?id=187081806).

The Masquerade [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_masquerade_felicity/set?id=187082258) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_masquerade_thea/set?id=187082649).

 

* * *

 

 

January 2016

 

Felicity had never been a sexy woman.

She knew she was pretty. She could really rock some dresses. She had assets too, she knew her curves were appealing, she also knew her ass looked good in most of her jeans.

She had been called beautiful by some people. Her mother. Her husband. Oliver.

She had been told she could be gorgeous, if she gave it a try. And she had indeed felt gorgeous when she had gone to _Verdant_ for her birthday but that night was particular. That night she had tried to be someone else. She had been gorgeous trying to be someone else. So, really, that night didn’t count.

No one had ever called her “sexy”. No one had ever said that she could be sexy. No one had ever said that she was. And that was fine with her. Really it was. She didn’t care because she was fine with how she looked. She loved her body, she loved her clothes. She loved her style.

Until she didn’t anymore.

 

* * *

 

When your husband doesn’t touch, doesn’t even look at you with fire in his eyes, for months, you start questioning yourself. Have you done something wrong? Is there something wrong with you? Has the passion faded away because of you? Have you gained weight? Are your flaws more visible now? Do they make you unattractive?  

Basically, you wonder why your husband isn’t attracted to you anymore.

And your brain desperately tries to come up with a solution.

And they aren’t always the wisest.

Felicity and Ray used to have good sex together. He knew how to get her off, she knew how to get him off. They were both well acquainted with each other’s bodies. It was like their bodies were two complex scores. They had sight-read them and they knew them by heart now and could play them perfectly without having to try hard.

They used to have good sex, their moments of passion always rewarded with a few very satisfying orgasms.

They had never really had mind-blowing sex though. Ray wasn’t really adventurous in bed and Felicity wasn’t experienced enough to be. She didn’t really know how to be the one in charge. She always felt shy when she thought about all the things she’d like to try and didn’t know where to begin or even if her husband would be willing to change his habits. Because yes, Ray was a creature of habits. It was what made him so successful. And maybe a bit boring.

So even if the sex between them had always been good, it had never been _great_. And hot. And rough.

Ray had never taken her roughly against the door of their bedroom, too greedy to wait for them to reach the bed. He had never bend her over their kitchen counter. He had never fucked her against the window of their loft making it possible for everyone to catch a glimpse of them. No. He had never done any of that.

Ray had always been kind, and given and affectionate.

In bed. Once or twice on the couch.

He had never been bold. She hadn’t either.

And maybe it was time to change that.

 

* * *

 

Felicity Smoak-Palmer was determined to rekindle the flame between herself and her husband. She loved him, they used to be happy and have good sex regularly. And she was going to get back to that.

That was her resolution for 2016.

She was going to have sex with her husband. She was going to get a husband induced orgasm, not a vibrator induced one.

And she would complete that resolution before January was over. They had to have sex before February was there. In February, they would reach the “no sex for a whole year” line. She had no desire _at all_ to cross that line.

And she would do that, in spite of Oliver Queen.

She didn’t know why she had kissed him.

Maybe it was because of how beautiful he had looked, leaning against his father’s desk in his tux, the lights of the city flickering on his face.

Maybe it was because they had had a nice time dancing together. A time so nice, the world had faded away around them as they swirled on the dancefloor. A time not only nice, but also tender and intimate. She hadn’t had tender and intimate in a long while.

Or maybe she had done it just because she had wanted to.

And that scared her. Because she was a married woman, who wanted to save her marriage.

She wasn’t supposed to want to kiss another man. She was supposed to want to kiss her husband.

The kiss had been a mistake. At least, that’s what she told herself. She assumed that if she said it enough time, she’d eventually convince herself. And it was really hard, especially when the person she so desperately wanted to avoid was always there. She was indeed seeing a lot more of Oliver Queen than ever. He always seemed to find a way to run into her. He always found a way to be wherever she was, whether she was spending time with his mother, or his sister. Then, he told a few jokes that made her laugh despite herself, said a word or two about something more serious and more important. When he was done charming everyone, he walked away, leaving her wanting more time with him than the few minutes he had just allowed them. She hated herself for that but seriously, who could blame her? He was Oliver freaking Queen. He knew how to make a girl feel wanted.

And his eyes. God, his eyes.

They had been a lot on her before their kiss. Well, it was nothing compared to how much on her they were now. She felt their weight on her, even when she wasn’t looking at him. She felt the lust. The heat. The desire. Always there. Always strong.

But never spoken out loud.

He had said he wanted her.

She was starting to believe that maybe he had truly meant it.

 

* * *

 

Felicity was sitting on her bed, her underwear and bras spread out on the comforter. She was eyeing them critically. Most of her underwear were comfortable and funny. Some of them had ones and zeroes on them or emojis. Others were simpler, with just stripes or polka dots. She had two lacy ones that she usually wore on special occasion. Needless to say that she hadn’t worn them in a very long time.

“Felicity?” Nana’s voice called her through the door.

“Come in Nana, I need your help!”

Her cook, who was more her friend than her cook now, walked in. She was holding the newspaper against her chest. Felicity frowned at that. “There is an article about Mr. Ray and you in it.” She showed Felicity the headlines.

_“Ten reasons why Felicity Smoak-Palmer is Starling’s new favourite girl.”_

Felicity chuckled at that.

“They’re saying lots of nice things about you. The journalist is definitely a huge fan! I thought that you might want to read it.”

Felicity usually didn’t like reading what people wrote about her. But it didn’t hurt her ego to read nice things about her once in a while. “Are there only nice things?” She asked, a small smile on her lips.

“Only nice things.”

Felicity’s smile grew wider. “I’ll read it later. Now, Nana tell me what you see.” She gestured at her underwear on her bed.

“A part of you I never expected to see, Felicity,” she joked lightly.

Felicity rolled her eyes. “I am being serious here Nana.”

“So I am,” the old woman shot back.

“Does this look adult and feminine to you Nana?” Felicity asked, raising her favourite Star Wars bra.

“Well, it depends on your definition…”

“Nana!” Felicity cut her off.

“Not really Felicity but it doesn’t matter. If you love wearing those clothes and if you feel good in them then why would you stop doing so?”

“I never said I wanted to stop. I am just saying that maybe… I could wear a bit more of these?” She gestured at her lacy underwear.

Nana sighed. “If you want to.”

“I want to.”

Nana nodded and headed toward the door. She stopped in the doorway. “You know Felicity, changing is only good when you do it for the right reasons.” Before Felicity could reply, she added. “Enjoy your shopping trip.

Felicity’s phone rang a few minutes after she was gone. It was Thea.

“What’s up Speedy?”

_“Don’t call me that, you know I hate it!”_

Felicity bit her lip to hold back a smile. Speedy was the nickname Oliver had given her when she was a child. Apparently, she really enjoyed chasing him around the house back then. Thea hated the name though, and Felicity had never thought she would use it one day. But she had spent so much time around the Queen’s siblings now, the nickname fell from her lips naturally.

“Sorry! What’s going on?”

_“I need your help. Remember the black and gold masquerade I am organising?”_

Yeah. Felicity remembered. It was the only thing Thea had been able to talk about for the past few weeks. Even when they were supposed to study together, to work on her assignments, the masquerade was the only thing on her mind. But Felicity didn’t hold it against her. She knew how important it was for her friend. It was the first event she was organising without anyone’s help. All the journalists – or vultures, because that’s really what they could be sometimes – in Starling were going to be there, waiting for her to prove that she was either a true Queen or that she wasn’t nearly as good as her mother and fail.

“I do remember…”

_“Well, Helena Bertinelli has decided to ruin everything,”_ Thea said, interrupting her.

Helena’s father was a rich man, who owned a constructions’ company. He was a very wealthy man although not nearly as rich as the Queen family for example. Helena and Thea had always gone to the same school, and now to the same university. And they hated each other, with a fierce passion.

“What do you mean?”

_“She is throwing a masquerade. The day before! Meaning that people will be talking about her party and completely forget about mine!”_

“Oh.” Felicity said, not really surprised. It sounded just like something Helena would do. Felicity had never met her personally, but she had heard a lot about her. None of the things that she had heard were nice.

_“Yes, “oh”!”_ Thea repeated, her voice louder, her annoyance cleared. _“Felicity, I need your help.”_

“Thea, I already told you, I won’t dig up her dirty little secrets and exposed them to the world.”

_“No, I need you to come to my party!”_

Felicity winced, chewing on her lips more. “Thea I can’t. Ray and I have already something planned.”

_“Felicity, please…”_

The blonde frowned. “How would my presence’s help?”

_“Haven’t you read the newspaper?”_

“No yet. Why?”

_“Starling loves you Felicity! Everyone loves you, they think you’re funny and charming and beautiful and… If you come to my masquerade, they will all forget about Helena and her stupid party.”_

Felicity sighed. “Thea, I am not comfortable with the idea. This is your party, I don’t want to take that away from you. Besides, we will all be wearing masks. They won’t even know I am here.”

Thea shook her head. _“That’s so not the point Lissy. I just want you to come, even if it’s only five minutes. You say a word or two to the journalists, and then you go back to Ray.”_

“I think that you should trust yourself more Thea. You’re a beautiful and talented young woman. People will come to _your_ masquerade because _you_ are amazing.”

It was Thea’s turn to sigh. _“Felicity, please think about coming. I… really need you to support me!”_

Felicity pinched her nose and groaned. That’s when she realised that Thea didn’t want her to come so that she could say nice things about her party. That was just an excuse. She needed her friend to be there, because she’d need all the support she could get. And Felicity suddenly found it really hard to say “no” to her. “I’ll think about it.”

_“Thank you Lissy, you’re the best!”_

They talked some more before hanging up.

 

* * *

 

Felicity went shopping after her meeting with one of her clients. She had never bought lingerie in her life. The two sets she had back home had been gifts, one from her mother, the other from Ray.

She felt a bit shy at first but then a bubbly blonde woman named Allison – it was written on her badge – came to her and helped her around the shop.

She tried a few things, feeling more and more confident every time she was putting on a new set. Allison’s approving nods and encouraging smiles helped boosting her ego. Felicity smiled brightly at her covered in lace reflection. There was no way Ray would resist her when he saw her.

She chose two new sets: one was black and the other blue. It was Ray’s favourite colour, surely he would love seeing his colour on the most intimate part of her.

As she was about to pay, her eyes got caught by a ridiculously sultry lacy bra and thong. They were red, a scarlet red that put images of peonies and square cards in her mind.

“See something you like?” Allison asked.

Felicity shook her head to come back to her senses. Red wasn’t her colour.

“That red set looks pretty good,” she said, trying to sound casual.

Allison didn’t need to look above her shoulder to know which set she was talking about. “Would you like to try it on?”

Felicity chuckles, shaking her head. “What? No! Red is not… I mean I don’t – I can’t wear that – can I?”

“You can’t know for sure until you try it on,” Allison stated. She had a point there. Trying it on wouldn’t hurt anyone.

“You know what, I’ll try it on.”

Allison shot her a bright smile and when Felicity left the shop twenty minutes later, it wasn’t with two but three sets of lingerie.

 

* * *

 

Felicity decided to stop by Jitters before heading home. She sat down with her order and took the newspaper Nana had given her this morning out of her purse.

_“Ten reasons why Felicity Smoak-Palmer is Starling’s new favourite girl.”_

Nana had been right. The article was full of nice things and she was happy to see that all the things she did to take care of her public image were paying off. At least, she wasn’t making all these sacrifices for nothing.

She was about to leave when she ran into a tall young woman, with long brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. Her face was oddly familiar but Felicity couldn’t recall where she had seen her before.

“Isn’t that Felicity Smoak-Palmer?” The young woman said after a second.

“Yes, that’s me… And you are…?”

“Helena Bertinelli,” she introduced herself, holding out her hand.

Felicity hesitated for a second before shaking it. She felt like she was betraying Thea, which was stupid because it was just a handshake.

“It’s funny seeing you here!” Helena said. “Starling’s new favourite girl!” She added, sounding slightly contemptuous.

“You shouldn’t believe all the things people write…” She joked, trying to break the tension between them.

“Clearly.”

Felicity frowned. She wasn’t surprised by Helena’s animosity, Thea had warned her about her after all. Still, she had thought that she’d at least be cordial around here. It wasn’t like Felicity had done anything to offend her. “Well, I should go. It was nice meeting you!”

She went to leave, but Helena called her back. “You know Felicity, you should be careful with who you choose to be friends with. Some people are more worth of your trust than others.”

Felicity froze. She turned around and stared down at her coldly. “Clearly.”

 

* * *

 

Despite her unpleasant encounter with Helena and her desire to help Thea make people forget about her and her stupid party, Felicity couldn’t attend Thea’s masquerade.

The day after she had called her friend back to tell her that Ray was really insisting on her being present at that business dinner, she got a present.

A red card was attached to it.

With shaking hands and her heart racing in her chest, Felicity opened the card.

_“In case you change your mind…_

_OQ”_

She wasn’t going to change her mind. She couldn’t go.

She put the present in her closet, without even opening it.

 

* * *

 

The day of the masquerade and the business diner, Ray didn’t go to Palmer Technologies.

He went to his office in their house and worked from there. He often did that when they had an event to attend. That way he didn’t lose precious minutes of his day in the traffic.

She had always thought it was stupid. But today, she was grateful for that weird habit of his. Because for once, he was home all day long, and she had every intention of getting him out of his office and in their bed.

She put on the blue set of lingerie she had bought, a dark silky robe and went to him.

She found him working on his new project. He was lost deep in his thoughts and didn’t notice her right away. She wrapped her arms around him from behind, startling him.

She kissed his cheek as he started to tell her about his project. He was going to receive a price for his discovery the next month. She made a few comments here and there, congratulating him, before starting to trail down kisses along his jaw and neck, her hands roaming down his sides. She had a different kind of reward in mind.

At first, his body relaxed into hers. Encouraged, she kept her ministrations.

Until he stiffened and pushed her away, gently but firmly. They had no time for this.

And without sparing her a glance, he focused back on his work.

A white-hot burning pain rose in her chest, making her blood boil furiously in her veins.

Humiliated. She felt humiliated.

Her husband had not only pushed her away but also ignored her. All the efforts she had made to entice him… They had been for nothing. He hadn’t even noticed them. Or if he had, he hadn’t acknowledged them.

She ran toward their bedroom and locked herself in the bathroom. Tears were leaving a scorching trace on their way down her cheeks.

She turned the shower on and once she was under the hot spray, she wondered. How could a marriage be saved when only one of the spouses was giving it a try?

 

* * *

 

Sitting down on her bed, wrapped in a towel, and Shia’s head in her lap, Felicity eyed her closet, looking for something to wear to the business diner she had no desire to attend.  In the end, she settled her choice on a short blue dress. She got up to go get it. Shia followed her and got in the closet before her.

“Shia, not in the closet again! You’re going to leave hairs everywhere.”

She grabbed her by her collar when she didn’t obey and made her go out. Her curved tail knocked a box down on her way out.

“Damn it,” Felicity cursed. Shia sniffed the box, which was now open on the floor.

Felicity knelt down and reached for it. A sequin mask had fallen out of the small box. She gasped when she realised what it was. It was Oliver’s gift, the one that she hadn’t opened.

She chuckled as she took the mask in her hand. It was red. The party was supposed to be a black and gold party. Hadn’t he gotten the memo?

She put the mask on her eyes and made a face at Shia, who barked happily, hopping around her.

Felicity got on her feet, the mask still on her face. Oliver’s words came back to her.

_“In case you change your mind.”_

Well, she had.

 

* * *

 

Felicity couldn’t quite believe she had done just that. She had lied to her husband. She had freaking lied to her husband.

She had gotten to bed and pretended to be sick. She had even put her forehead against one of their heaters, to make it look like she had a fever. She used to do that a lot when she was a child and didn’t want to go to school.

Ray had believed it all and called his executive assistant, a very nice girl names Anna Loring, so that she would go with him.

_“You know how are investors can be. They’re so boring sometimes_ ,” he had told her. _“I could really use some company._ ”

She had replied to that shortly, faking a cough for good measures. She had suggested that he gave his EA a raise. The poor girl deserved it if she was willing to sit down for hours with older men who spent more time talking about the past than thinking about the future.

His reactions to her “sickness” annoyed her profoundly though.

Was cancelling his dinner so that he could take care of his sick wife that hard? Apparently, yes, it was.

And this new display of selfishness was enough to erase all traces of her guiltiness.

 

* * *

 

She put on a black dress with a lot of cut-outs. Most of her back and ribs were exposed. The V-neck was even deeper than the one on the dress she had worn for the Queen’s Christmas party, making it impossible for Felicity to wear a bra under dress. But who cared? She was going to wear a mask, nobody would know it was her. Or maybe they would. And she didn’t care at all.

 

* * *

 

When she got to the masquerade, the room was already full of people. The music wasn’t too loud, people were all masked and well-dressed, talking and laughing while drinking expensive champagne. Journalists and paparazzi were flashing pictures. One got a shot of Felicity when she arrived. She smiled brightly and then made her way in the crowd, looking for Thea.

She had helped the young Queen picking her dress so it didn’t take her long to find her. She patted her shoulder from behind. Her friend turned around. She frowned when she saw her mask. Obviously, she wasn’t recognising her.

“Thea, it’s me,” Felicity said, smiling brightly.

“Lissy?” Thea hugged her tightly. “I am so happy to see you!” She pulled away. “How come you’re here? What about your dinner with Ray?”

“I am sick, can’t you see it?” She replied, smiling proudly. Suddenly feeling inspired, she twirled around, the silky fabric of her dress following her movement smoothly.

Thea’s eyes were wide open behind her mask when she eventually stopped spinning around. “You did not lie to him for me, did you?”

“No,” Felicity assured her. “I did it for me.”

They talked some more before Thea got called away.

Felicity wandered around, sipping her flute of champagne quietly.

To say that the party was a success was an understatement. The dance-floor was crowded, people were laughing out loud. Everyone seemed to have a good time and that was all thanks to Thea. Felicity had never doubted that her friend could pull this out. She was really happy for her. Everyone would be talking about that masquerade the next day and Helena’s would be completely forgotten.

Tonight really was Thea’s night and the young Queen was shining so bright even the stars were jealous of her. At least, that’s what Felicity told a journalist who asked for her opinion.

And for the first time in a very long time, she wasn’t lying to the camera.

Too bad she had to do it with a mask on her face.

 

* * *

 

“I couldn’t believe it when I saw a flash of red earlier,” a deep and low voice whispered in the shell of her ear.

She gasped and then turned around, her heart jumping in her chest. Blue eyes met blue. Oliver.

“But there you are Mrs. Smoak-Palmer.” He took her small hand in his big one and kissed the back of it reverently. “You look absolutely breath-taking tonight,” he told her, his heated eyes solely focused on her.

She felt herself blush. “Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself.” She should be used to see him wearing tuxedo by now. She wasn’t. Each time felt like it was brand new and she didn’t mind at all. Oliver was a very handsome man after all.

Oliver’s chuckle got her out of her thoughts. She raised an eyebrow in interrogation. “There is a difference between not looking so bad and being a very handsome man.”

She shut her eyes, mentally slapping her face. “Why was I given the ability to speak?”

“To enlighten my days,” Oliver replied, his flirty game particularly on point. “Would you like to dance?” He asked her, holding out his hand for her.

“God yes!” She eagerly accepted. Everything to escape his heated eyes and hide her flushed cheeks. He chuckled at her tone and led her to the dancefloor. Once they were there, he put his hands on her waist. It was so big, his fingertips were brushing the naked skin of her back. Her cheek fell against his shoulder, preventing her from meeting his gaze as she got comfortable in his embrace. They swirled slowly, following the rhythm of the music, not feeling like talking. They didn’t need words to express what they were feeling.

_Thank you._

_I am glad you’re here._

And the one Felicity feared the most.

_It feels good to be here with you._

When she felt that it was safe for her to meet his eyes again, she said. “Admit it, you picked a red mask so that you’d recognise me.”

He chuckled at the accusation. “No. I picked a red mask because red looks good on you.” She tried really hard not to think about her scarlet red new set of lingerie. And failed.

“So how would you have recognised me, if I had been wearing a black and gold mask?” She asked.

“Surely, I would have recognised the mask I would have picked for you,” he replied, a small smile on his lips.

“I highly doubt that. Look at the crowd!” She looked around as she said the words. “There are too many people! You probably wouldn’t have seen me.”

“Stop worrying, I would have recognised you.”

She tilted her head, already opening her mouth to insist. She knew she shouldn’t, that she probably wouldn’t like his answer. She did insist anyway because she really wanted to know where his confidence came from. “But how?”

“I would have recognised your back,” he told her eventually, his blue eyes slightly darkening. “I would have recognised those four little moles, there,” his hand left her waist and travelled to the line of four moles that crossed her back, “or that small birthmark on your shoulder,” his fingers went to graze it and she shivered.

She swallowed, hard. Suddenly, her throat was dry and she felt hot. Very hot. “What if I hadn’t been wearing a backless dress? How would have recognised me?” She asked, trying to hide the tremor in her voice.

“Your lips,” he confessed. “I would have recognised your lips.”

Felicity bit on her lower lip at his words, more heat spreading inside her body. “Oliver,” she whispered.

“Felicity,” he whispered back and wow! Had they always been that close? She was pressed against him, her breast was brushing his hard chest every time she took a breath.

She took a step back, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by his everything. His warmth, his scent, his skin, his eyes. It was too much. He was too much.

“I have to go,” she told him.

He nodded. She turned around and he called her back. “You know Felicity, one day, you’ll have to stop running.”

“I will when you stop chasing me.”

He shook his head. “If I were the one you’re running from, you wouldn’t have come here tonight.”

She closed her eyes, a single tear rolling down her cheek. She took another deep breath to steady herself and left.

 

* * *

 

When she went home, Ray wasn’t back yet. She hadn’t been at the party for too long.

She put her pajamas back on and went to her office. She opened her drawer and delicately placed her mask with Oliver’s cards, a small smile on her lips, wondering what would happen the next time they met.

And when she felt anticipation blossom in her chest, she didn’t even try to push it back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	7. February 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!!!
> 
> Thank you for the amazing response to the last chapter! I am going to reply to your messages as soon as this is posted :)  
> So here's the new chapter! You should know that there are kisses and then there are Kisses. And also, that walls are crumbling and sexy times are coming...
> 
> Happy reading :)

The Polyvore's sets for the chapter :)

Lunch time [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_lunch_time/set?id=187294121).

Getting a prize [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_getting_prize_felicity/set?id=187199210) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_getting_prize_thea/set?id=187200799) / [(Anna)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_getting_prize_anna/set?id=191345119) / [(Moira)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_getting_prize_moira/set?id=187199814).

 

* * *

 

 

February 2016.

 

Felicity had never felt that exhausted before in her life.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. There had been that one time where she hadn’t slept for three days, too busy finishing a code with Cooper.

But ever since that, she had never felt that exhausted. She had almost always managed to get a decent amount of sleep a.k.a eight hours at least per night. Sure, sometimes, she slept less but she always found a way to compensate. She hadn’t this time.

She had spent an entire week fixing the cyber-security system she had designed for one of her customers. At first, she hadn’t understood why they were having problems with it. And it had made her panic – freak out would be more accurate but less professional – like never before. She had thought that she was responsible for the mess, that something was wrong with her coding. She had been sure that she had done something wrong, that the company was in jeopardy because of her. Maybe she had been too distracted by what was going on in her life when she had designed it and made a mistake. The thought had haunted her, making her doubt herself and her capabilities.

She had barely been home for the last week. She had barely slept, barely eaten. Whenever she actually came home, it was only to shower and sleep for three or four hours. And the very moment she woke up, she was already back to work. Her job was the only thing in her life that wasn’t a huge mess. It was the last thing she was sure of. The last thing she could rely on. That’s why when things had started to get messy in her professional life, she had felt like she had to fix them, no what matter what it’d cost her. She had felt like couldn’t fail at doing her job too. She couldn’t fix her marriage, yes, but computers she could fix. Wires, ones and zeroes, she got that. She could fix that. All she had to do was finding what was wrong. Once she knew, she’d be able to fix everything. She was already losing so much, she couldn’t lose her job too.

And finally, after a week, she had found what was wrong. Three interns had messed up with the software while trying to determine who the best hacker was. They had broken in the system and gone up against the cyber-security she had designed. When they had realised their mistake, they had tried to fix things by themselves instead of calling for help. Once she had found out what was wrong, she had been able to fix it. And it had felt good. She had never felt more relieved than in that moment, when the security system had started working again. She had raised her fist in victory and yelped happily, earning a kind smile from her client and weird looks from his employees.

Now, she was finally out of the building after what felt like an eternity spent between its walls. She was alone in the Glades on a chilly Saturday afternoon. She felt exhausted but her body was way too caffeinated and her stomach way too empty for her to just fall asleep in her car.

She went to her red Audi, already picturing the very long bath she was going to take and the bottle of wine she was going to drink while letting her bath’s bubbles work their magic. Her stomach growled loudly as she turned the ignition on and she paused.

She was in the Glades. There was a Big Belly Burger in the Glades, not too far from where she was. And she was so hungry at the moment, she was pretty sure she could kill someone, just for a burger.

But she didn’t feel like eating alone. She thought about calling Thea but she knew that the young girl was overwhelmed with assignments. Her year was getting tougher, the last thing that she needed was for Felicity to distract her.

But what about the other Queen she knew? What about Oliver? _Verdant_ wasn’t that far after all and he was probably working there, getting the club ready for the night.

No.

She shook her head at the idea. She couldn’t call Oliver and ask him out for lunch. That would be weird, right?

Except it wouldn’t. They were friends after all. Okay, maybe there was more than just an innocent friendship between them but that wasn’t the point. They were friends first and foremost. They talked, hung out, danced at parties. Friends did that. Just like friends ate lunch together.

It wasn’t _scandalous_.

So yeah. She totally could ask him out. But before that, she needed to find a better way to phrase it otherwise things would get awkward real quick.

 

* * *

 

No, she couldn’t ask him out for lunch.

What if he had already eaten lunch? What if he was too busy? What if he didn’t want to go out with her? What if, what if, what if?

She should have called instead of just walking in his club, and disrupting his plans.

But she was there now. She might as well go with her idea. At least, if he turned her offer down, she’d have a reason to be mad at him and stop thinking about him.

She walked in the club – didn’t they lock the door or something? The last time she had checked the Glades weren’t a safe neighbourhood – and went downstairs. A dark haired man was standing behind the bar. She frowned. His face looked familiar. She guessed who he was more than recognised him.

Tommy Merlyn.

Oliver’s best friend and business partner. And also his partner in crime. And basically his partner in everything.

“Hey!” She said, to get his attention. He was so absorbed by what he was doing, staring at a bottle of alcohol and taking down notes, he hadn’t heard her coming in.

“Hello,” he greeted her. He tilted his head, his warm eyes scanning her. “Felicity, that’s it, right?”

She smiled happily. They had never been properly introduced. She had only been to _Verdant_ once before and he hadn’t been there. Or at least, they hadn’t run into each other. His father was the CEO of Merlyn Global but the two of them weren’t talking and Tommy rarely came to public events. He attended charities and galas but not nearly as much as Felicity did. Hence the fact they hadn’t properly met until today.

“Tommy Merlyn,” he added.

“I know who you are,” she replied, shaking his hand. “It was about time we met.”

“Damn right it was! You are way prettier in real life. The photographs I saw in the magazines haven’t done you any justice.”

Felicity blushed. She knew for a fact that it wasn’t true. She wasn’t wearing any make-up, there were heavy bags and dark circles under her eyes and her hair was a mess despite her ten attempts to fix her ponytail in her car.

“Thank you Mr. Merlyn, you are prettier in real life too.” She shook her head. “More handsome. I meant more handsome.” She felt herself blush more. What was wrong with her mouth? Why was it telling people they were handsome without her consent all the damn time?

Tommy flashed her a bright grin. “Wow, I can see that Oliver was right about you.”

She pinched her lips, her heart jumping her throat. Oliver had told his best friend about her? Really? “What did he say?” She asked.

“That you were…” He hesitated, looking for the right words. “Refreshing.”

She felt herself blush so hard, her cheeks actually started to burn and she was pretty sure that steam was escaping her ears. “Oh really,” she mumbled. “He said that…”

“Among other things, yes,” Tommy said, winking at her playfully. “Anyway, as much as it is nice to see you here, I am guessing that you didn’t come over just so that you could meet me. And question me about what Oliver may or may have not told me about you.”

She smiled at that. “Unfortunately, I didn’t. I came to see Oliver. Is he here?”

“Yep, in the storehouse. Want me to go get him?” He offered.

“That would be nice,” she agreed.

Tommy left and came back minutes later with Oliver by his side. Oliver frowned when he saw her.

“You look like shit,” he told her, bluntly.

“Ollie!” Tommy said, sounding as shocked as he looked.

“Well, he’s kind of right,” Felicity agreed, suddenly feeling ill-at-ease. Why had she come here? Why was he mad?

“Still! He could be more polite. Where are your manners buddy?”

“I forgot them in the storehouse,” he joked. “More seriously, are you okay Felicity?” His eyes softened slightly on her.

She nodded firmly. “Yeah, I was just working in the neighbourhood and when I was done I thought “Why don’t I go see if Oliver’s at Verdant? Maybe I’ll be able to get him out of his den long enough for us to grab some lunch.””

Oliver’s lips curled up slightly and Felicity almost high-fived herself. Maybe he wasn’t that mad after all. “I’d be happy to have lunch with you.”

It felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. He wasn’t mad at her. Yay! She smiled happily at him. “Good! I am happy too. I mean, I was afraid you wouldn’t want to come because it’s like almost three pm and people normally have already eaten lunch by that time. I normally among those people but today’s not normal and wow feel free to stop me at any time.”

Oliver chuckled at that, grabbing his jacket. “I enjoy your way of babbling way too much to be able to shut you up.”

“Weirdo!” She teased, punching his shoulders playfully. He caught her by the wrist and held it in the air to prevent her from punching him again.

“Behave,” he warned her.

A throat was cleared behind them. Tommy. Oliver immediately let go of her wrist and looked at his best friend. “Is it okay if I leave for an hour?”

Tommy nodded, still staring at them weirdly.

“See you later then buddy!”

“Bye Tommy!” Felicity quickly added. “It was nice to meet you.”

“Yeah you too,” he replied, his eyes still glued on them.

 

* * *

 

They ended up walking to Big Belly Burger instead of driving. It wasn’t that far from Verdant and the air was chilly, not freezing. Felicity filled Oliver in about her shitty week, justifying her shitty appearance. The more she got close to the end of the week, and her victory, the louder she became, gesturing wildly as she talked. She knew for a fact that her cheeks were red and that her eyes were probably sparkling because of her excitement. Oliver listened to her, chuckling here and there, his eyes never leaving her face, his focus never wavering.

They sat down with their orders, Felicity still talking enthusiastically, about her job. The mess caused by the interns reminded Oliver of his own mistakes, when he was younger. He told her about the colleges he had dropped from, the internship at QC he had screwed and how Verdant was born after one night of debauchery in their favourite club in Starling. He didn’t dig into the details but she got the idea. He hadn’t been made for the corporate world, spending hours locked up in an office, meeting with investors, creating new technologies, innovating… He hadn’t been made for that. That didn’t mean that he wasn’t a good businessman. The success of _Verdant_ proved on the contrary that he was indeed a good one. He had just needed to find his own passion, what brought the best out of him.

She stole his pickles one by one as he spoke of the beginning of his twenties. He let her and she thought it was really nice of him because she knew how much he loved them. For example, he never let Thea ate them.

“I think you did well,” Felicity told him after he was done telling her about _Verdant’s_ opening. “Clearly, you know what you’re doing. Verdant is famous, not only here, but also in Central City and soon in Coast City, or so I’ve heard. I know you love QC, otherwise you wouldn’t be so invested in the company’s events, but sometimes what you love isn’t what’s good for you.”

He shook his head. “Don’t I know about that?”

She tilted her head in confusion, her straw stuck in her mouth.

“Forget I said that,” Oliver asked.

She chose to let go but still, a part of her wanted to know what he had meant. The conversation turned to their childhood. She didn’t feel like talking about hers, for reasons, so she mostly listened to Oliver. It was totally okay though, because he had many stories to tell. She observed him as he spoke, the way his eyes would sparkle whenever he mentioned Thea or the way his smile grew wider whenever he told her about Tommy. He had a beautiful smile, one that was showing his dimples and made her heart clench in her chest. He talked with his hands too, rubbing his thumb and index finger together when he was nervous or talking about something unpleasant. His hands moved to assist his words, helping them describe the memories he was sharing with her. He was a very good story-teller and she was soon laughing out loud, tears rolling down her cheeks. Oliver and Tommy had really went out and sowed their wild oats when they had been teenagers.

“How come your parents are still sane after what you put them through?”

“Who says they are?” Oliver replied, winking at her.

“How come they had a second child? Hadn’t they had enough with you already?”

Oliver chuckled at that. “I was six when Thea was born. And if you’ve been paying attention to my stories, you must know now that my wild life only started at the age of seven.”

“At the age of seven, I built my first computer.”

Oliver gave her a look. She shrugged. “What?”

“Nothing. You’re just…” He hesitated. “Remarkable.”

“Well,” she took a sip of her formerly frozen drink – it was almost warm by now. “Thank you for remarking on it.”

He chuckled at her words and they kept talking. And talking. And talking.

“I can’t believe you did that…” She said, laughing, after he told her about how he had tried to impress some girl at the skating rink. He had never skated before that day and he had tried to act like he had been born with skates on his feet. He had ended up in the hospital with a concussion and three stitches, hence the small scar on the back of his head.

“Well, I was young and stupid,” he explained. His face was slightly red. Was he embarrassed? After all the stories he had told her, that was the one that was embarrassing him? “I’ve raised up my flirting game. It’s totally safe now.”

“Oh really?” She asked, leaning toward him. For the love of god, was she flirting with him?

He leaned toward her as well. “Really. Want an example?”

Was he flirting back with her? His heated eyes on her screamed “yes”. “Why not?”

Their faces were really close from one another. She could smell his salty breath from where she was sitting and she knew it was wrong but she really didn’t have it in herself to pull away. “Well, I let the girl steal my pickles.”

She swallowed heavily. “Are you sure it’s safe?” She asked. “You could die of starvation you know…”

He started laughing at her comment and she laughed too, as some of the tension between them melted away. He pulled away after a while, letting her laughter die on her lips.

“Sorry, I have to take this, it’s Tommy.” He gestured toward his phone. Oh. His phone had been buzzing. Maybe that was why he had pulled away.

Oliver came back soon after. “I’m sorry but I have to go. I told him I’d be gone for an hour and it’s been two hours and a half.”

“No way!” Felicity said, grabbing her own phone. It was way past five pm almost six. Oops. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you away from you work for so long…”

He put a hand on her shoulder in a soothing gesture. “It’s okay Felicity, Tommy understands. It’s just that now I really need to go back.”

What exactly was there to understand? She nodded anyway.

“I’ll see you at the prize giving next week?” He asked.

She nodded again. “It’s not like I can skip the event,” she sighed. She then realised what she had just said. “Not that I would if I could, I am really happy to go. Really, really happy. Never been happier.”

“Okay,” Oliver said, chuckling slightly. “See you then.”

“See you!”

He hesitated for a second – since when did Oliver Queen hesitate? – before leaning down toward her and pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. He pulled away quickly after as she felt her skin tingle with the memory of his lips. He gave her one last smile before leaving. A smile so genuine, it warmed her insides in the best way possible.

God.

She was so screwed.

And she didn’t like that particular kind of screwing.

 

* * *

 

“Felicity, I am sure you remember Mr. Weber,” Ray said. “He is one of PT’s board members.”

“Of course I remember him,” Felicity said, a small on her lips. “Mr. Weber, it’s so nice to see you again.”

“It’s really to see you again Mrs. Palmer. Your visits at Palmer Technologies are rather rare.”

“Well, I have a job of my own…”

“Yes, I’ve heard that you’re doing well as a consultant. But don’t you think that you’re worth more than this my dear? I mean, a woman with a brain like yours could run her own company.”

“I am running my own business and it’s enough for me now,” she explained.

“I am sure your husband has more ambitions for the two of you,” Weber told her.

Felicity frowned turning to see where the said husband was. He had walked away from them and was now talking with his new best friend, Robert Queen. “I don’t think so Mr. Weber. Ray is doing an excellent job with the company. He really doesn’t need my help.”

Mr. Weber nodded. “Yes, I am really impressed by what he has been able to accomplish in two years. I always told his father that he had a promising future and that letting him moving over the country to San Francisco was a huge mistake. The man belongs to his family, to this company.”

Felicity held her clutch more tightly and nodded politely. Weber ranted about Ray for a little while longer and she nodded when she felt like she had to.

She hated those events where Ray only took her to charm people and put on a good word for him. She always felt like she was just a pretty plant on his arms, only physically standing by his side. Because in everyone’s minds, she was far behind. Sure, Mr. Weber had praised her. But he had only done it in the optic of getting her to Palmer Technologies. She was interesting as long as she was involved with the company.

Things hadn’t always been like that. She used to enjoy to go to those events. When things were good between them, Ray would press her waist a bit tighter to help her relax, or smile genuinely at her or kiss her forehead.

Tonight, he did none of those things.

Felicity excused herself from Mr. Weber and ran into Thea and Oliver on her way toward the bathroom. She wasn’t feeling really well. Ever since she had left the house, she had had trouble breathing evenly. She felt like she was suffocating and she didn’t know why and now, after nearly an hour of small talks and complimenting her husband, it had worsened to the point where her heart was pounding in her chest and beads of sweat were appearing on her forehead.

She locked herself in the bathroom, certain that she was going to throw up. Maybe she was sick. What had she eaten for dinner already?

She gulped, trying to calm herself down.

When she heard the voices, she froze.

“I heard that she’s going to work at Palmer Tech with him!”

“No way! She is just a consultant!”

“Not even a good one! Someone told me that she had spent nearly a week fixing a security system she had herself designed.”

“And Ray would let her work with him at PT? No way, he worked way too hard to get his company back on tracks. He better let her keep spending his money. That’s the only thing she can do perfectly well.”

“I wonder why everyone in Starling loves her.”

“Well, she has been seen a lot with Thea Queen. The people of Starling trust their princess’s judgement.”

“And they’re quick to forget their _princess_ ,” the disdain in the woman’s voice made Felicity clench her fists, “had a drug problem in high-school.”

“Oh come on Missy, we all had a drug problem in high-school.”

“Sure dear, but at least, _we_ didn’t get caught.”

The women all started giggled and Felicity’s nausea came back, stronger than ever. She heard the door being opened and closed again. The women were gone, but their words were still branded in Felicity’s mind. Her fists clenched in tight balls, Felicity exhaled slowly. She felt like she was going to explode. She was so angry! She was used to be called a gold-digger. She could handle that kind of insults. But what about the rest? Why did people keep thinking that she was going to start working at PT? Who had told them about her problems at her job? Who else thought that she was only friend with Thea so that people would like her? And who were they to judge her friend? Thea had made mistakes, yes, but apparently, they weren’t any better.

Her fists still clenched tightly, she walked out of the bathroom. As she splashing water on her face, she heard the door open and saw a woman whose face was familiar.

“Mrs. Smoak-Palmer,” the woman greeted her. She was a petite brunette with warm chocolate eyes. “How are you doing?”

“Good, thank you Miss Loring,” she lied, finally able to remember the name of her husband’s EA. “How are you though? I know how these events can be pretty boring...”

“Don’t worry about me,” Anna said hurriedly. “It’s part of my job and I really enjoy it. All parts of it.”

Felicity smiled at her, shifting nervously on her feet. She still wasn’t feeling okay and she really needed to find her husband. “That’s good.”

“Yeah.” Anna paused, staring at her. “You should probably go, Ray’s looking for you.”

Felicity nodded. Great. “Thank you Miss Loring, enjoy your evening!”

“I intend to. Have a nice evening as well!”

Felicity nodded before walking out, her fists clenched, her anger directed toward her husband. She bumped into Moira Queen on her way to him.

“Felicity dear, are you okay?” She asked, concern filling her eyes. “You look really pale…”

“I am fine Moira, thank you!”

And without further explanations, she went on. She spotted her husband. He was still talking with Robert. Oliver had joined them, as well as a few board members.

“Ray, can I have a word in private?” She asked, not caring that she was actually interrupting Robert’s sentence.

“Felicity dear, we’re busy here…”

“Ray!” She snapped. “A word, now.”

She then walked away, ignoring Oliver’s concerned eyes on her. She didn’t have the time for that now.

 

* * *

 

Talking to Ray was like talking to a wall.

He, indeed, wanted her to work with him and it didn’t matter if she was happy being a free consultant.

He had told people about her “problems” as a free consultant. He had told them she wasn’t happy with her job. He had told them it didn’t suit her. And because he didn’t know the whole story, he hadn’t told anyone about the three interns and their mistakes. So basically, everyone thought that she was incompetent.

She was mad. She was so mad at him and the more he acted like he didn’t understand why she was mad, the madder she felt.

“Why are you making me look like I don’t know how to do my job? Is it because you want to be seen as the man who is going to save me with a dreamy job at PT?”

“Felicity, that’s not it at all. I truly think that being a free consultant isn’t what’s best for you and that it’s the reason why you’ve been struggling for the past few weeks.”

“I had one problem! Once!” She yelled in frustration. “And I am happy being a free consultant, I love my job, a job that you’ve stopped caring about a while ago.”

They were interrupted by the crowd movements. It was time for him to get his prize. He took Felicity’s hands.

“Come on, smile Felicity!” He told her. “You don’t want people to think that we’ve argued.”

“I don’t want people to think that I am stupid and yet they do!” She shot back.

“Felicity, enough! We’ll talk about this back at home.”

She rolled her eyes – she knew they wouldn’t – and smiled anyway, holding back her tears the best she could.

 

* * *

 

Felicity found herself sitting alone upstairs, far away from the noise of the crowd. Ray had gotten his prize and he was now being congratulated by everyone who had come.

And what about his wife?

Well, she was alone, humming to herself songs that were going through her mind.

_“You know how the time flies_

_Only yesterday was the time of our lives”_

How appropriate. Her mind and thoughts had a perfect timing.

She stopped singing when she heard someone coming. She got on her feet and turned around. She sighed when she recognised who it was.

Oliver.

Something tugged at her heart when she saw him.

A party. Sparkling jewels. Champagne. The both of them upstairs. How did the French call that already? Oh yeah.

_Deja-vu._

“Are you okay?” He asked, his concern written all over his face.

She sighed. She didn’t feel like throwing up anymore. So maybe the answer was “yes”. Yes, she was feeling better.

Except she wasn’t.

Now she was feeling empty. Fighting, uselessly, with Ray had sucked up all her emotions.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I said “yes”… I don’t know how you do it but you always seem to know what I am feeling. Sometimes you know it even before me. Is it why you keep looking at me? Do you like looking for my secrets?” She sighed.

“I wish you’d tell me about them. It would spare the both of us a lot of time,” he confessed.

She shook her head, rejecting what he was suggesting without considering it. “My secrets belong to me,” she stated.

“Too many secrets can’t be healthy Felicity, I hope you know that.” He paused. “I just want to help you.” Again, she shook her head, this time in disbelief. “What happened earlier?” He asked.

The question brought back the memory of what she had heard earlier. Only this time, it didn’t piss her off. It just… hurt.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, turning around so that she wouldn’t have to face him.

“Yes it does,” he insisted, grabbing her arm to spin her around once again.

“Oliver, please just let it go…”

“No!” He cut her off. “I am done letting you go. It never seems to end well for either of us anyway.”

“Oliver, please…” She begged. She wanted him to let her go. To let her go and stop staring at her like that. Because when his eyes were this intense on her, it did something to her, to her heart, and she didn’t know if she could resist to the pull anymore.

“No! Talk to me Felicity. Tell me how I can make things better!” He cupped her cheeks softly, stroking the corner of her eyes tenderly, wiping the small tears that had appeared there. “Please,” he begged, his voice low and demanding.

“You can’t,” she confessed, her voice barely louder than a whisper. “Nobody can.”

“Can I at least try?” He asked, his eyes still solely focused on hers.

She nodded, not really knowing what to expect.

She didn’t expect him to lean in and brush his lips against hers. Or maybe she did and let him because she wanted him to do just that.

At first, his lips were hesitant against hers. He was giving her the opportunity to pull away if she wanted to.

She didn’t want to because the moment their lips were connected again, she was reminded of why she had kissed him the first time. Because she was attracted to him. Because his smile was to die for. Because he made her laugh. Because she felt good when she was with him.

Soon, she felt his tongue press against her lips, begging for entrance. She didn’t want to deny him anything and opened her mouth, letting him in. He explored her mouth, mapping it with his tongue, very soon stroking boldly against her own. Passion had burst between them from the moment their lips had touched and there was no coming back from it now. She could taste champagne on the tip of his tongue and she soon realised that the sparkling drink had never tasted better than in this moment, mixed with Oliver’s very own taste which was strong and musky.

She tried to kiss him back with as much fervour, fighting with him to take control of the kiss but in the end, she was unable to resist him. Her body felt so pliant against his hard one, she didn’t have the strength, nor the will, to resist him. So she stopped and let him consume her. His hands were surprisingly calm, still cupping her face and not roaming over her body. His forefingers were both rubbing the skin behind her ear and along her jaw, spreading out heat in her whole body. A fire started in her veins, one that wasn’t caused by her anger anymore but by arousal and she moaned at the sensations that were assaulting her. His stubble felt raspy against her own soft skin, his lips firm against her own. Good. He felt so good, as much as she had known he would.

Soon, she found herself pinned against a wall, Oliver’s hips pressing firmly against hers, making her feel how much he wanted her. She gasped at the realisation and he took advantage of the broken kiss to let go of her already swollen lips. He tilted her head and started trailing light kisses along her jaw, and open-mouthed ones along the column of her throat. She moaned when he nipped at her skin, soothing the pain of the sting with his tongue. Her hands that had been hanging at her sides until now, shot up. One found its place around his neck, the other in his hair, keeping him firmly in place.

He went to the other side of her throat, pouring just as much passion in all of his kisses. He made his way back up to her jaw then to her lips. This time, she naturally opened her mouth for him and he didn’t hesitate. He delved his tongue into her and they kept kissing, mapping each other’s mouth, hands roaming over each other’s body. The kiss got sloppier before it ended, with his hands on her waist, her arms wrapped around his neck and their foreheads pressed together.

Felicity’s heart was throbbing almost painfully in her chest. She wanted more. She wanted so much more and she knew he wanted more to. But they couldn’t.

“Feeling any better?” He asked, his voice lower than before and she wondered how it was possible.

She nodded, not trusting her voice at the moment.

“Good!” He kissed her forehead briefly before engulfing her in his warmth, hugging her tightly. She let go of his neck and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him back just as tightly.

 

* * *

 

The next day, a single peony, not a bouquet, and a red card arrived at her house. Ray was already gone to work. They hadn’t talked about their fight. He hadn’t noticed the small red marks on her throat and her swollen lips.

She opened the card, fearing what she might read.

_“I want more,_

_OQ”_

And the truth was, she wanted more too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	8. March 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that the rating has changed...

The polyvore sets for the chapter!

The rave party [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_rave_party_felicity/set?id=187334292) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapitre_rave_party_thea/set?id=187335032).

 

* * *

 

 

March 2016.

 

Felicity was feeling sad.

It was nothing new, she had been feeling sad for quiet while a now.

Except this time, it was a different kind of sad.

She wasn’t sad because her husband was completely neglecting her.

No, that wasn’t it.

She felt sad because she was pining for a man who wasn’t her husband.

Oliver Queen.

She was sad because of Oliver Queen.

 

* * *

 

She hadn’t seen him since the prize giving and their messy but oh so hot kiss. Actually, hot kiss didn’t cover what it had been very well. A good make-out session? A hot make-out session? Yeah, that was already more appropriate.

She had wanted to call him a few times, but she had been afraid. Afraid of what he would say. Afraid that she would give in. Because it had been proved, twice, that she wasn’t really good at resisting Oliver Queen.

She needed to get Oliver out of her thoughts. The best way to do that was for her to reason. If she could find the flaws in her desire for Oliver, she’d be capable of letting him go. If her heart couldn’t be tamed, then her logic would save her.

Oliver had said he wanted her. Fine. And then what? What happened if she gave herself over to him?  What if she let the passion burst between them? What if she let him unleash the fire that was obviously consuming them both? What would happen after that?

He’d be a satisfied man. She’d be a completely unfaithful woman.

Because, yes, to her, kissing was cheating.

She couldn’t, no scratch that, she wouldn’t do that to Ray.

He didn’t deserve it.

Yes, he wasn’t a good husband. Yes, he had made mistakes.

But still. She couldn’t do this to him.

She wouldn’t.

 

* * *

 

When March came, Ray left for a two-week long conference on the other side of the country, in Boston. He didn’t ask Felicity to come. And as much as she would have loved to go back to Boston, to go back to the places where everything between them had started, she didn’t offer to come either. He should have been the one doing it.

She stayed home instead, delving into her work. Despite what had happened at the prize giving and what most people seemed to think of her, her business was growing. She had more and more clients who came to her because her already satisfied clients had put in a good word for her. And that was completely fine with her. More clients meant more work. More work meant less time to think about the taste of Oliver’s lips and skin.

She could push away the thoughts of him during the day. It was way harder when the night came.

Felicity and Ray had crossed the “one year without sex” line. Meaning that she was horny. A horny young woman who had been kissed senseless by a very handsome man.

Oliver was featuring in her dreams a lot now. She had had dreams of him before the prize giving, much to her displeasure – although most of the dreams with him were just about her pleasure – but their number had increased significantly after that event.

She dreamt of him, coming from behind her, cupping her breast and whispering the dirtiest secrets in her ear as he bend her over to slide into her. She dreamt of him, of his hands and tongue, doing wicked things to her, giving her the release she had been denied for far too long.

She dreamt of the weight of him on her, near her, in her. She dreamt of his warmth engulfing her, consuming her. She dreamt of his hard muscles caging her against the wall, his strong hands pinning her hands above her head as she was left completely at his mercy, defenceless against the pleasure he was giving her.

She always woke up from these dreams with a gasp, her heart racing in her chest and her breathing uneven, her panties drenched with the evidence of her arousal. In these moments, when she needed to get herself off to the memory of Oliver’s lips on hers, she was glad that her husband was spending less and less time in their bed.

But sometimes, in her weakest moment, she found herself thinking about him. Just about him. She thought about his smile that showed his dimples. She thought about his eyes that shone so brightly when he was happy. She wondered about him, about what he was doing, who he was spending his time with. She wondered about him a lot and sometimes, she wondered if he wondered about her too.

 

* * *

 

It was another lonely Saturday night for Felicity. At least, as lonely as one could be around a lively dog.

But for now, Shia was calm. She was lying next to Felicity, who had nothing better to do than play at Candy Crush.

Was there something more depressing than a twenty-four-year-old woman with nothing better to do on a Saturday night than playing at Candy Crush, with her dog by her side?

At least, she had a dog and not a cat. The thought made her laugh. Maybe she wasn’t a lost cause after all.

Shia barked when someone knocked at the door. Felicity frowned. She wasn’t expecting any visitors. She jumped on her feet and went to the door.

“Felicity Meghan Smoak, what is wrong with you?” Thea asked, walking in without waiting for Felicity to invite her.

“Nothing’s wrong with me, why would you say that?”

“Well, you’ve been ignoring me for two weeks! You don’t reply to my texts, or briefly, you never pick up my calls. What’s wrong? Did I do something? Do you not want to be my friend anymore?”

Felicity blinked a few times, her brain processing what it had just been told. She hadn’t ignored Thea on purpose. She had just needed to stay away from the Queen siblings for a while. It was hard to forget about Oliver if she was spending all her free time with his baby sister.

“Of course I still want to be your friend! Why would you think something like that?”

“I don’t know! Why have you been ignoring me?”

“I am sorry, it’s just that things have been a bit complicated for me lately and…”

“Is it because of what happened at the prize giving?”

Felicity frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, mom said that you didn’t look well and dad told us that you had kind of snapped at Ray at some point during the evening, so…”

Felicity pinched her nose in frustration and exhaled slowly. “Yeah, I don’t really want to talk about that…” She sighed.

“I figured.” Thea stood, arms crossed over chest. That gave Felicity a minute to take her in. She was wearing high-heels, a crop top and a bright blue flared short skirt.

“Are you going somewhere?”

“Yes, and you too. I brought you some clothes!”

Felicity shook her head. “I can’t…” She started to protest.

“Why not?” Her friend asked, looking rather unhappy. “It’s not like Ray is going to miss you, he’s not even here.”

“I just…”

“Felicity please,” Thea cut her off.

Felicity took a step back. She looked so much like her brother in this moment, with her big blue eyes begging her to say yes. And just like she couldn’t refuse anything to that look in her brother’s eyes, she couldn’t refuse Thea.

“Okay,” she eventually nodded. “Show me those clothes you brought.”

 

* * *

 

Felicity’s outfit looked a lot like Thea’s, except for the colours. She was wearing high-heels, a white lacy crop top and a dark red flared short skirt.

“We look like two sisters,” Thea said happily as they walked out.

She drove them to _Verdant_ and Felicity’s heart skipped a beat.

Oliver. She was going to see Oliver. She was going to see him again and she was kind of really looking forward to it. Whatever happened during that night, it would never leave the club. Ever.

“We’re going to get in by the back entrance,” Thea explained as she parked her car outside the club.

Felicity nodded, trusting her friend to guide her through the night.

“This party is pretty special,” Thea explained as they made their way on the side-walk. “Oliver and Tommy only throw seven of them during the year, one per day. The best thing about them is that you never know they’re happening until the day they’re supposed to happen.”

Felicity tilted her head. “Why?”

“Suspense is good for the business. Secret parties are a must, especially the ones were only the best clients of _Verdant_ are invited. It makes them feel _special_. Each year, new people are admitted into the circle and others are ejected.”

“Tough!” Felicity commented.

Thea shrugged. “Oliver and Tommy’s surprised parties are the best.”

“How come?”

“I can’t really explain it. You’ll have to see for yourself.”

Felicity nodded. “When was I admitted into the circle?” She asked as they reached the back entrance. Felicity could hear the beat of the music through the door. “It’s not like I am loyal customer or anything…”

Thea shrugged again. “You’re my friend and Ollie’s friend. And Tommy likes you. It’s enough to get you into the circle.”

“Lucky me,” Felicity said, winking playfully at her friend.

“Ready?” Thea asked, her key already in the lock.

“As I’ll ever be,” Felicity replied, feeling her confidence fleeing her.

Thea chuckled at that and opened the door. Felicity’s jaw dropped when she saw the inside of the club.

 

* * *

 

Fluorescent neon colours.

There were fluorescent neon lights everywhere.

On the ceiling, on trails, on the stage where the DJ was playing electro music, on the glasses, even on people’s bodies.

There were fluorescent neon colours everywhere.

Thea helped Felicity out of her jacket and tossed it somewhere safe with her own.

People were moving, jumping, waving, dancing on the dance-floor. Felicity was fascinated by the fluorescent colours, only visible thanks to the ultra-violet light. It was a happy mess of neon orange, yellow, green, blue, purple and pink. Everything was too bright, but still beautiful, almost surreal. It was like she had stepped into another dimension, where time was standing still and colours had taken over control of the situation.

People were talking, laughing, screaming, cheering everywhere in the club. Waiters and waitresses were walking around, carrying fluorescent drinks on their trails or pencils and neon paint.

“Oh my god!” Felicity yelled to cover the noise. “It’s a freaking rave!”

“Yeah!” Thea agreed, her thumb raised up. “An indoor rave, but still a rave!”

“I’ve never been to a rave!” Felicity confessed.

“Better late than never,” her friend replied, before dragging her toward the dance-floor.

“I am not drunk enough to dance among other people,” Felicity told her, suddenly feeling a bit shy and self-conscious.

“You don’t need to be drunk to dance,” Thea replied, already moving her hips to the rhythm of the music. “Just let go…”

“Thea, I…”

“Just let go Felicity,” Thea repeated, taking her hands in hers. “See, it’s easy!”

So Felicity let go. She threw caution to the wind. She threw her head back, strands of hair falling from her messy bun. She raised her hands up in the air and danced with her friend, letting herself sink in the crowd and get carried away by the beat of whatever song the DJ was mixing for them.

 

* * *

 

A while later, Felicity and Thea’s cheeks were as red as the blonde’s skirt. They were talking loudly, commenting on the party and the people there.

“I am thirsty,” Thea said.

“Me too,” Felicity agreed, her lips still curled up.

Thea gestured to stop a waiter and got them drinks. A neon blue for Felicity, a green one for her. They clinked glasses and drank their drinks in one-go.

They both winced, the cocktails tasted okay but were… strong to say the least.

“They’re stronger than the ones from last year,” Thea confessed, her cheeks even redder.

“I can’t believe that Oliver let you come to these parties.”

Thea smiled. “He doesn’t have much of a choice. It’s either that or I go to Max Fuller’s club _Poison._ At least here, Oliver can watch me.”

“It must be nice to have someone watching over you.”

“If only it was just Oliver though,” Thea sighed. “Tommy’s watching over me too.”

“Still, it must be nice,” Felicity repeated. She was an only child. She didn’t know how it felt to have siblings, how it felt to have a brother to watch over her.

“Not when I have a boyfriend to introduce!”

Felicity chuckled at that before getting herself a pink drink and a yellow one for Thea. They clinked glasses again and drank. Thea giggled happily.

“Isn’t it nice to be here?” She asked, looking around her.

Felicity giggled too. That’s how she knew she was most definitely buzzed. “Yeah, it’s awesome!”

“Speedy?”

The two girls turned around to see Oliver eyeing them, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked rather unhappy.

“Ollie!” She greeted him with a smile. “We were just talking about you.”

“No we were talking about the party,” Felicity corrected her.

Thea giggled. “But we were talking about him before that, right?”

“Right,” she confirmed.

“What are you doing here?” Oliver asked Felicity, his eyes hard on her. And that made her pause. What the hell? It was a party, his own party. He seriously needed to chill if he wanted to enjoy it. And why was he mad at her? Had she done something wrong? Where was her Oliver, the one whose eyes were always soft and warm on her?

“Thea invited me,” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

His eyes fell on his sister. “And what are _you_ doing here? Mom told me you were grounded.”

“I am twenty-one Ollie! Mom can’t ground me anymore!”

“Yes she can. Especially when you have an exam on Monday.”

Thea rolled her eyes. “That’s rich coming from the former frat boy who dropped out of four colleges. Just because I go out one night, it doesn’t mean that I am going to fail.”

“Speedy…”

“Enough Ollie! I am going to look for Roy, he said he’d be here. You coming Lissy?”

“Go get your man,” her friend told her. “I definitely don’t need to see the two of you sticking your tongues into each other’s throats, so I’ll be right here minding my own business.”

Thea kissed her cheek, leaving a sticky trace of lipstick with the shape of her lips there. “Take good care of her Oliver, see you later!”

Felicity nodded and watched her leave. She then turned around to face Oliver. His eyes were on hers, not hard anymore and for that she was grateful. His expression though was still unreadable.

“What?” She asked.

“You okay?”

“Never been better!” She replied, flashing him a bright grin. “Can you believe this is the first time that I go to a rave?”

“Where’s Ray?” He asked.

“Why do you ask? You want to dance with him, maybe?” The thought made her giggle lightly. “Let me tell you this, you’re not his type! Not that he has a type, because you know, Ray isn’t _gay_ but if he had a type, you wouldn’t be his. And that’s a shame really because you clearly are anyone’s type, I mean who could resist those blue eyes of yours, that raspy scruff and all… that!” She added, gesturing at his whole body.

Oliver chuckled at her words, finally looking amused and not angry or annoyed anymore.

“That’s better,” she said, feeling a surge of pride bursting in her heart.

He tilted his head, and she realised how adorable he looked when he was confused. “What’s better?”

“You.” She answered. “You’re better, not brooding anymore. I don’t like it when you’re brooding. I like it more when you smile, I love your smile. It’s a really loveable one.”

He smiled at her.

“There it is! Your smile!” She said happily, offering him a smile of her own in return. “I was wondering what it would take to get it on your face.”

“Well, apparently it only takes you.”

She felt herself blush, not in embarrassment but in pleasure. She felt pleased.

“Are you drunk?” Oliver asked.

She shook her head. “Most definitely tipsy. But not drunk.”

Oliver nodded. “Good.” He paused for a second, just looking at her. Then he said. “So, you said it was your first rave?” She nodded firmly. He stepped toward her, his now heated eyes meeting hers. “Would you like to make it unforgettable?”

She stepped toward him too, pressing her small body against his taller one. She unconsciously parted her lips to lick them. “What do you have in mind?”

He leaned in, brushing their noses together. She couldn’t help but shiver at his light teasing. He grabbed her hand and dragged her toward a dark alcove, away from the crowd. He snatched items from a trail on the way but he did it so quickly, she didn’t see what it was.

“What are you doing?” She asked, her heart thrumming in her chest when he pressed her stomach against the wall.

“Don’t move,” he whispered in the shell of her ear. His voice was low and another delicious shiver ran through her, just at the sound of it.

She felt his fingers brushed the exposed skin of her back and goose bumps erupted on her skin at the contact. He pushed her crop top out of the way. Startled, she made a move, but his hips pressed into her ass to keep in her place.

“Don’t. Move.” He repeated, his voice firmer.

Heat pooled low in her belly as she straightened back.

Then, she felt it. The cool liquid on her heated skin. The soft caress of a brush on her. She couldn’t make out the patterns he was tracing but she didn’t care. All she could think about was the feeling of his hips deliciously keeping her pinned to the wall and the sensations of the brush running across her skin, painting her body, making her an ephemeral work of art.

Oliver’s work of art.

His other hand, the one that wasn’t holding the brush and driving her crazy with its maddening movements, came to her throat. Slowly, almost tentatively, he traced a line with three fingers, from the top of her jaw, to her collarbone, leaving fluorescent paint on its path and igniting the fire that was already burning in her veins. She threw her head back, chewing on her lips to keep herself from moaning.

His hand fell on her waist, leaving a fluorescent trace of his large hand on her smooth curves, as he brought the brush dripping with paint on the top of her chest.

She shut her eyes when drops of paint fell on her skin, some of them finding their way between the valley of her breast, tickling her slightly.

“Felicity open your eyes,” he whispered in her ear, his tongue finding and circling her industrial piercing.

She did as she was told, more heat pooling in her belly at his ridiculously sexy growl.

“Watch me paint your body, leaving my mark on you…” He spread the paint that had fallen on her skin with the brush, running it lightly from one shoulder to the other, teasing.

She tried to press her legs together, but he didn’t let her, placing one of his own between them, to keep her spread out. His tongue circled her industrial piercing again and he tugged at it, just when he let the brush touch her heavy breast through her lacy top. She couldn’t repress her moan this time.

“Oliver,” she gasped.

“Fuck! I’ve been wanting to hear you say my name like that for months now.”

His rough stubble rasped against the soft skin of her cheek just as he pressed her further into the wall.

“Our last kiss is the only thing I’ve been able to think about…” She wanted to close her eyes at his words but couldn’t, too fascinated by the vision of his hand on her waist, of his leg between hers, of the brush drawing meaningless pattern on her skin. “Do you have any idea of how much I’ve missed you?”

She shook her head “no”.

“Too damn much,” he said, pressing one kiss per word on her throat. “I was mad when I saw you with Thea tonight,” he told her.

“Why?” She asked after a while. He had started another fire in her body when he had dropped the brush lower on her sides to tease and stroke the skin there, leaving fluorescent paint on it.

“Because you’ve been avoiding me. So I wanted to avoid you to.”

“Why didn’t you?” She asked, staring at him right in the eyes. He had angled her head toward his so that he could brush their lips, the same way the brush was teasing her skin.

“I couldn’t resist you. You’re too gorgeous in red,” he confessed, his voice filled with lust.

Gorgeous. Not cute. Not pretty. Not beautiful.

Gorgeous.

She turned around in his embrace, surprising him – hell surprising her! – and wrapped her arms around his neck, crashing their lips together.

The kiss was bruising. The both of them were pouring all the pent-up emotions they had kept for themselves for far too long. Longing, desire and lust met and clashed, surprising them both with their intensity.

“Felicity,” he growled and fuck more heat pooled down between her legs, making her thighs slick with arousal.

He trailed down kisses on her jaw, throat, on the top of her chest, on her still clothed breast, on her slightly curving tummy. He dropped kisses everywhere on the body he had painted, the shape of his lips visible on her glowing skin.

“Felicity,” he whispered as he knelt down in front of her, his hands stroking her legs boldly. He had paint on his lips and wherever he kissed her, he was leaving a mark. His mark. On her. They both knew he couldn’t leave a lasting mark. She wasn’t his to mark. And in the end, it didn’t matter. Because he had found another way. A fluorescent one.

He pressed a soft kiss on her inner thigh and she bit her lips, sparks of pleasure shooting through her. His lips made their way up her thighs, and up, and up, until they reached her clothed core.

“God Felicity, you’re so wet!”

“Oliver, we can’t,” she panted as her hands seemed to have a will of their own. They fell on his head and ran through his hair, to hold him close to her, sending a very different message.

Oliver disentangled her hands from his hair and stood up again. He kissed her soundly, nipping at her lips unabashedly. She could smell herself on him and the thought thrilled her beyond words. She eagerly kissed him back, nipping back at his lips in retaliation.

“I want you Felicity,” he whispered, in her ear, his arms coming around her head, caging her between the wall and his chest. “Do you?”

Her heart had been sent into overdrive long ago, but now it was her brain’s turn. That was how powerful the effect he had on her was. “I – I…” She struggled to find her words.

The question was simple: did she want him? Yes.

The question was simple, the answer too but the consequences were not.

But then there was Oliver and his blue eyes staring at her so intensely, she was pretty sure they could reach her soul.

“This can only happen once,” she told him, her lips aching to feel his again.

He cupped her cheeks and kissed her passionately, unleashing his desire for her on her already swollen mouth.

Before she knew it, he was dragging her away from the alcove. They left the crowded dancefloor for an unknown destination.  The room he locked them in was way cooler but it was okay. The warmth radiating from Oliver and the heat in his eyes were enough to warm her up.

She thought that things were going to be quick and hard between them. One hard fuck to release the tension between them. It’s not what happened at all.

Oliver pinned her against the wall once again, keeping her in place with his strong hips as one of his hands circled her wrists above her head and the other makes its way underneath her skirt, spreading heat on her skin. She was totally drenched, she could feel it, all because of him, all for him, and it made it easy for him to slide one finger inside her. He did it quickly, without preamble. A whimper left her at the intrusion. His thumb rubbed over her clit, making her moan in appreciation. He added another finger and she rocked her hips against his, trying to increase the delicious friction.

He pumped his fingers in and out of her in tandem with his tongue, which was stroking against hers. His thumb was on her clit never leaving the small bundle of nerves, torturing her in the most perfect way. She fought with him to free her hands, the need to feel him, to touch him driving her crazy. But he was too strong for her and when he curled his fingers inside her, flicking her clit with his thumb at the same time, she came, hard, digging her nails into the skin of his hands, leaving small crescent marks there. Her back bowed off the wall, her breast brushing against his hard chest. He swallowed her cries, helping her riding the waves of her orgasm with his fingers lazily going in and out of her.

He hooked his fingers around her panties and dragged them down her legs, before pushing her skirt up her hips. He let go of her hands and she automatically wrapped them around his neck, pulling him closer to her. She felt his still clothed erection press against her belly and she heard him moan loudly. She peppered his face with kisses as he got rid of his belt and pants.

“Oliver” she panted, her breathing erratic now. “Condom?” She asked.

He stared at her through heated eyes and leaned down, reaching for his jeans’ pocket. Her heart jumped in her chest when she heard the sound of a foil packet being ripped open. He rolled it down his length and then she reached for it, taking it in her hand. It was big, too big for her hand, and she wondered for a second if she could take in all of him. She had been left with only her fingers to get her off for far too long. Surely, having him instead would be different.

She shook her head to shake those thoughts away and pumped him, once, twice, thrice. He hissed through his teeth and his sticky forehead fell down on hers. He was breathing heavily and she could feel his heart beat against her breast, thanks to the way his chest was pressing against hers.

She wrapped one of her legs around his waist and hopped in his arms. He caught her, his big hands landing on her ass to support her. She guided him toward her entrance, rubbing him against her slick folds making the both of them moan loudly, theirs sounds of pleasure echoing against the cold stone walls of the room. She did it again, eager to tease him the way he had teased her earlier. His mouth fell on her neck and nipped at her skin with a vengeance. She squeezed his waist with her legs at the sensation, gasping. She kept what she was doing for a few seconds before taking pity on them both and letting him in. He entered her in one hard stroke that lacked finesse. She couldn’t have cared less.

She threw her head back once he was settled inside her, biting her lips to keep from crying out loud. He was big, just like she knew he would and she could feel just how tight she was.

“Oh god,” he growled, against her neck, nipping at her skin again, soothing the pain with his tongue.

She dug her nails in his shoulders and he hissed in pain. He remained still inside her, letting her time to adjust. One of his hands fell on her clit and rubbed it, once, twice, helping her relax more. “Oliver, please…” She begged. She was feeling much better now, the discomfort of having him inside her slowly replaced by pleasure. She could feel him completely now, throbbing inside her and it did things to every nerve endings in her body. She wanted more. Scratch that. She needed more. She needed him.

His hips started moving against hers. He pulled out, slightly at first, then thrust back in. She wrapped her legs more tightly around his waist, trying to take more of him within the confines her walls. The movement made them both moan. He pulled out completely, before thrusting back in, each time going deeper but not increasing his pace. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes because of how intense everything was. He felt so good inside her, filling her so completely, stretching her in the best way possible. She blinked them away and moaned loudly when he circled his hips against hers, his pelvic bone rubbing against her clit.

Her moans turned to cries when his hips increased their pace, pleasure radiating out in controlled waves from where he brushed her most sensitive spots. He hiked her legs higher up and the new angle made him hit the spots he had only been grazing before, making her cry louder. Her blood was set on fire as he pounded into her, taking her against the wall, just like she had known he would. She was so lost in the feeling of him going in and out of her, she could barely hear the obscene sound of skin slapping against skin, or feel the beads of sweat that were rolling down his cheeks to his lips, lips that she couldn’t stop kissing.

One of his hands went down between them again. There wasn’t much space left down there but he still managed to reach her clit. He rubbed it once, twice and that was enough to send over the edge. She came again, screaming his name.

For one second everything was perfect. For one second time froze around them.

She fell apart in his arms and he caught her, securing her. Nothing mattered but him, his warmth, his strength, his everything. He was everything, he was real, and here with her. It was the best feeling in the world, the strongest too.

And it was the first time that she experienced it during sex.

Her walls clenched around him, triggering his own release as stars kept dancing behind her eyelids. He shouted her name too and muffled his moan of pleasure in the crook of her neck. A powerful aftershock overtook her and she felt a mini-orgasm burst inside of her as he kept pressing on her clit, prolonging everything.

As it was quickly becoming too intense for her, too much to take, she pushed his hand away. “Too much,” she sobbed. Then, she realised that she missed him, even though he was still inside her and she brought his mouth back to hers and they kissed sloppily as they came down from their high.

“Felicity,” he whispered, as she still held his face between her hands. His eyes were shining and she saw so much in them, much more than what she was ready for. When she saw him open his mouth, she put a finger on his lips to prevent him from saying anything.

“Oliver, we said only once,” she reminded him, while untangling her legs from around him. They were a bit wobbly but she could stand on them.

He disposed of the condom while she righted her clothes. He righted his own too and then they both stood there awkwardly, not saying anything.

“Felicity!”

“Oliver!”

They both talked at the same time. She bit on her lower lip and he tugged it free with his thumb. He then leaned toward her and kissed her softly. Her heart clenched in her chest at the tenderness of the moment. That kiss only felt more intimate than everything they had just done.

“You go first!” He told her.

She nodded, not feeling like leaving. But she had to. So she did.

She got out of the room, got out of the club, hailed a cab and went back home.

 

* * *

 

Everything hit her while she was showering.

She watched the neon paint disappear in the pipe, she watched the last remnants of that incredible night leave and then it struck her.

She had had sex with Oliver Queen. A quickie against a wall.

She had cheated on her husband.

And the worst part was that she didn’t regret anything. The passion between Oliver and her had exploded and she couldn’t bring herself to regret it. Because it had felt real. Their connection was _real_.

She hadn’t had real in a long time.

_“One day I’ll have you. And I promise you that this moment won’t be another lie.”_

He had been right. He had been so right.

Because they had felt right.

She wrapped herself in a towel and walked out of the shower.

She lied down on her bed, already feeling sore in all the right places.

She stared at the ceiling, her heart throbbing in her chest. She was a confused mess, she didn’t know what to think. She didn’t even know what she was feeling.

She knew one thing though.

And it was that she didn’t know how to go on with her life anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!!!
> 
> I didn't write a long note at the beginning because I know that you guys have been waiting for this moment for quiet some time and I didn't want to delay it more.  
> So... That happened. They had sex. What did you think? Did you expect it to happen like that for the first time? I know it was rather raw and primal and seemed to be only about sex, and to be truly honest... It really was about them having sex. They both snapped in this chapter but don't worry we'll have something more about their emotions in the next chapter :)  
> Second chapter of the weekend!!!! Yay!!! I won't be able to post before next Thursday at least, that's why I've decided to post two chapters this weekend! :) I'll be responding to the comments on the last chapter tomorrow, if I have time. I have huge tests this week, university is being a bitch, so... I'll do my best! :)  
> You might have noticed that there were going to be 17 chapters and not 16. I've decided to add one (or rather splitting one in two parts).
> 
> As always, you can find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	9. April 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!
> 
> Thanks for the amazing response to the last chapter! This is pure Olicity, I hope you will like it.  
> I updated earlier than scheduled, for... reasons :) I hope that's okay with you! :D

The sets for the chapter :)

The anniversary [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_happy_anniversary/set?id=187435809)

Rainy night [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_rainy_night/set?id=187438903)

* * *

 

 

April 2016.

 

It turned out that going on with her life wasn’t that hard. It was actually really easy.

Because Oliver Queen was a freaking jerk and she should have known it before letting him fuck her into the wall of his club.

The day after their moment of passion, she had expected to get a red card and flowers. She hadn’t gotten any and it had hurt. Because she had truly thought that he would send her at least a card, a final conclusion to whatever it was that had been between them. When nothing came, she hated herself for thinking that he would do such a thing.

He was Oliver Queen after all.

He had gotten what he wanted, why would he bother himself by sending her flowers?

Everything that she had feared would happen if she ever let herself succumb to Oliver’s charms had happened. She had stained her marriage, broken her husband’s trust and for what exactly? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Oliver had gotten what he had wanted, and then he had forgotten all about her.

How could she have been so stupid?

She knew Oliver Queen. She knew he was a playboy who always got into the pants of the woman he had decided to chase. She knew that, Thea had complained enough about the fact that her brother had slept with half of the women in Starling City – well maybe not half of the women but still – for Felicity to know that Oliver Queen couldn’t be trusted. She knew who he was and yet, she had been stupid enough to left herself be blinded by the memory of that night, where she had thought that something more had passed between them. Where she had thought, for one perfect second, that it was more than just sex for the both of them.

Clearly, she had imagined everything.

She resented him. She resented him because he had made her feel wanted, he had showed her what true passion was only to take it all away from her. She was so mad at him… She was as mad at him as she was mad at herself. She had been weak, she shouldn’t have given in. She should have resisted, she should have fought harder for her marriage. She was to blame for what had happened.

But Oliver was too.

He had been the one who had interrupted her meetings with his sister. He had smiled at her, he had made her laugh. He had talked to her, he had been there for her. He had danced with her. He had watched her with heated eyes even when she had been on her husband’s arm. He had flirted with her and sent her flowers and red cards. He had been the one doing all that. He had been the one who had made her feel wanted. She was doing just fine before meeting him, really. She had never asked for anything. But he had done it anyway and she had been stupid enough to believe that she meant something to him. She had thought that maybe she was special, when clearly, she had just been another woman he had had the satisfaction to fuck.

She had been a fool and she hated herself for that. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have actually believed that he’d keep going after her? How could she have ruined her marriage for something like this? How could she have betrayed her husband for someone like that?

Someone who had been her friend one day, her lover one night and a complete stranger after that.

She hated herself for what she had done. She desperately wanted to fix things. But there was nothing that she could do so she just… did nothing.

Well, not exactly.

She pushed away the thoughts of Oliver Queen, sealing them in a box, in the back of her mind.

 

* * *

 

Everything came back to her the day of their third wedding’s anniversary.

Everything had started well though. The day before, Ray had asked her to clear her evening.

“I know I haven’t been there a lot for you lately and I want that to change.”

She tilted her head, guilt flooding her heart. Ray had noticed he had been absent and he wanted to fix things. Maybe there was hope for them after all. “Really?” She needed to ask, to be sure.

“Really,” he repeated kissing the tip of her nose. “I’ll take you out to dinner and then we’ll talk, about us, about what we both want.”

She nodded, emotions tightening her throat. “I’d like that very much,” she said.

He smiled brightly at her. She hadn’t seen that smile in a long time.

Problem was: it did nothing to her.

 

* * *

 

She decided to wear a blue dress she had bought with Thea a week ago. It was his favourite colour, she knew he’d appreciate the attention. He had sounded determined for them to talk. Maybe he was ready to save their marriage after all. Maybe they could move forward.

She kept thinking it was too late. She had already done the unforgivable. But Ray didn’t know about it and she was certainly not going to tell him anything. Or maybe she would. Maybe he'd forgive her. He wouldn't divorce her, she knew that. But what if he pulled away from her completely? What would become of her then?

She was looking forward to their dinner. If he was willing to talk, then they would talk. About everything. His absence, her loneliness, her job, their public image, the journalists… Everything.

She felt hopeful. Ray and she had been partners before being lovers. They could certainly overcome this, if they were both willing to do so. First as partners, then as lovers.

 

* * *

 

He called during the day to cancel their dinner plans. He wasn’t going to make it in time for their reservation. She told him it was nothing, that she’d cook them a nice dinner. She said it was for the best. It would be easier for them to talk inside their house. She still felt hopeful, even after that call.

She should have known better.

She cooked dinner, with Nana’s help. She light candles on the kitchen table and sat down waiting for him to come home, the dinner she had put her heart into kept warm by plate covers.

He didn’t make it home that night.

He called around ten pm to tell her that he had to leave town to meet with Bruce Wayne in Gotham at nine am the next morning. He didn’t apologise, just told her that they would have to reschedule.

She huffed back a bitter laugh when she heard that. They had never rescheduled her birthday, she doubted that they would reschedule their anniversary.

Sighing, she blew the candles, one by one. The bell of her house rang. She frowned. Who could be visiting her that late in the evening? She opened the door, the memory of the last late visit she had had fresh in her mind, and saw that someone had left her a bouquet of red roses. There was no card attached to it but she didn’t need one. She knew they were from Ray.

She tossed them without even smelling them. He knew her favourite flowers were peonies – there was a reason why her perfume was custom made with peonies’ fragrance as a base after all – but he thought that red roses were more romantic. And since he considered that he knew better than her, he always got her red roses.

Tears sprung in her eyes and she ran toward her bathroom, collapsing on the floor. There she cried like she hadn’t cried in a while. She cried for her husband who couldn’t keep his promises. She cried for the friend who had turned his back on her right after he had had her. She cried for herself then, blaming her stupidity, regretting all the mistakes she had made.

She had always been a fighter. That's what her dad used to tell her. She had always been a fighter and she had fought, hard. She had fought for her marriage. She had fought her attraction to Oliver. She was a fighter and she was supposed to make it to the finish line. Except she hadn’t. She hadn’t saved her marriage. She had given in to her lust and desire. She wondered what her father would think of her if he could see her. There wasn’t much left of the fighter he had been so proud of.

She heard some noises on the other side of the door and she straightened up, wiping her tears with the tips of her fingers. The noise intensified and for a second, she felt hopeful again. Maybe Ray had changed his mind. Maybe he was coming home after all. Maybe they were going to talk.

The door opened and Shia walked in.

The sight of her dog, staring at her with her big and curious black eyes made Felicity cry more. She opened up her arms and Shia came to her without hesitating. She wrapped her arms around her fluffy neck and cried until there was no tears left in her body. Shia was a really nice girl and let her hold her and cry in her soft fur without moving.

They were both startled when Felicity’s stomach growled. She hadn’t eaten anything because she had been waiting for Ray and now she was really hungry. The dog barked when the low rumble started again.

“I am sorry Shia,” she said, wiping her tears. “I am just hungry.”

Felicity considered her options. She could eat the dinner she had made. Yeah, no she really didn’t feel like it. Or she could make herself a snack. Yeah, big no to that too. She didn’t feel like doing anything. But she was still hungry and she still needed to eat something.

Sighing, she got up and changed her clothes. She grabbed her car keys and decided that Big Belly Burger salty and greasy food was very much needed.

She got out of the house and winced. The sky was dark, the moon hidden by heavy clouds. It was going to rain, so she’d better hurry.

 

* * *

 

Unfortunately for her, the closest Big Belly Burger of Starling City was the one in the Glades. She knew she was being paranoid, that Oliver probably wouldn’t be there. He was certainly busy at the club or with some new random chicks he had set his heart on.

Thunder roared above her and she hurried inside when she felt a drop of water fell on her forehead. She shook her head as she got inside and raised her eyes up to take the place in.

She had never been a lucky person so really, it shouldn’t have surprised her when her eyes fell directly on Oliver.

“Felicity,” he breathed, looking as surprised as she was.

She tightened her fist around her car keys and turned around, leaving without saying a word.

She should have never left her house, she should have never come. Because now she had seen him and it hurt. It freaking hurt and she didn’t want it to hurt, because pain meant that she cared and she didn’t want to care.

It was raining heavily now and she repressed a cry of frustration. That night kept getting better and better.

“Felicity! Felicity wait!”

_What?_ He was following her? Why?

She sped up a bit, not wanting to see him again.

“Felicity, wait!” She felt a hand wrapped around her arm so she stopped abruptly, slipping away from his grasp. She spun around and glared at him.

“What do you want?” She asked angrily.

“Wow what’s with the angry tone?”

She stared at him with wide eyes, momentarily left speechless. How dared he? How fucking dared he? “How dare you?” She said, her voice low and cold.

“What?” He asked, confused, his brow furrowing.

“You know what? Never mind. I don’t want to talk to you.”

She spun around again. It was pouring now and she was soaked. She wanted to go home and take a long and hot bath, her hunger be damned!

“But I want to talk to you! Please, Felicity, listen to me!”

“No!” She shout, as she was about to cross the street. She could barely see anything through her wet glasses. It was raining so much, the water was falling down in sheets, preventing her from seeing the road clearly. That’s why she didn’t see the vehicle coming when she put her feet on the road. She took a step before hearing the loud noise of a honk. If it wasn’t for Oliver, who yanked her arm strongly enough to make her step back, she would have been hit by the truck that passed by them, driving way too fast.

“You okay?” He asked, sounding worried, checking for any injuries.

Her heart was pounding in her chest as she realised what had almost happened. She would be dead, or at least severely injured, if it wasn’t for him. “Yeah,” she said. “Thank you.” It was hard to say the words but he had kind of earned them.

“Will you please listen to me now?” He asked.

“Oliver…” She started.

“Felicity, just hear me out, please,” he begged and it was kind of weird to hear someone like Oliver beg her. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you ever since…”

She shook her head, her wet hair stuck to the sides of her face. “Oh no, I am so not going to fall for that again!” She told him, already starting to move again.

“Felicity, you have to believe me! I can’t stop thinking about you, I miss you. I really do.”

“Then why have you been avoiding me? I thought we were friends!” She added, her tone accusatory.

“Because that’s what you wanted!” He shot back.

That made her pause. And frown. 

“What?”

“You said it was only supposed to happen once, that…”

“So that’s what I am to you? A person that is only interesting if you can fuck her as you please?”

He raised his hands to stop her. “No! Of course not, it’s not what I meant! After what happened at the rave, you looked so scared and the only thing you said was that it could only happen once. You didn’t say anything else, you just left and I thought that it was your way to show me what you wanted. Space and distance. And I tried to give you that, although it killed me because I…” He paused. “Because I can’t stop thinking about you. I don’t think there’s been a day ever since I met you where I haven't been thinking about you.”

She closed her eyes, taking his words in. “Oliver, I…”

“Felicity,” he said, cupping her cheeks. “I still want you,” he whispered against her lips.

“I am married,” she reminded him, taking a step back. He didn’t let go of her, following her instead and pressing her against the wall. Again. He seemed to love doing that.

“I don’t care,” he told her. “I really don’t care.”

“This is not right,” she said.

“Yes, it is Felicity. I felt it that night. I felt it every time we’ve been together. Damn, I can feel it _now_! And I know you can too…”

He leaned closer to her, his warm breath ghosting over her lips. “Felicity,” he whispered.

She cupped his cheeks with her hands too, her heart racing in her chest. God he had given her everything. But could she trust him though? Maybe he was just telling her this because he wanted to get in her pants again.

Or maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he meant every word. After all, it’s not like he had known that she’d come to Big Belly Burger that night. And if it was really just about the sex, then why didn’t he find himself a woman that wasn’t married? Why chase her, above all women?

“Oliver,” she whispered back, one of her hands traveling to his hair. She pulled him down to her and erased the remaining distance between them. Their mouths clashed together, passion bursting between them just like it had that night in his club. She parted her lips for him immediately. Soon, their tongues were meeting again, shyly at first before stroking boldly against each other.

They kissed in the middle of the street, rain falling down on them. It was the most cliché thing she had ever done, the most reckless too. Despite the rain, anyone could still see them. The thought didn’t stop her though, she couldn’t bring herself to care about anything else but him. Oliver. She kept kissing him and he kept kissing her back, and she poured all her frustration and pain from the previous days in that one soul-shattering kiss.

When the need for air came, they parted, the both of them breathing heavily. Oliver’s lips didn’t leave her skin though. They fell on her cheeks, his stubble rasping deliciously against her soft skin.

“Come home with me,” he told her, pressing kisses against the side of her jaw. 

* * *

 

They ended up in his apartment, which was actually a loft on the top of a building in the Glades.

She didn’t really remember the drive to his place, or how it looked, or where exactly it was located because as soon as the door was shut closed by his foot, she was in his arms again and he was kissing her passionately, efficiently chasing any rational thoughts from her brain. He lifted her easily, despite her soaked clothes and she chuckled against his lips at his display of strength.

“Show off,” she breathed out against his mouth and he nipped at her lips in retaliation, turning her light chuckle into a soft moan of pleasure. Water was dripping from them both and a puddle was already forming at their feet.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he whispered in the shell of her ear, punctuating his statement with a tug on her industrial piercing. She arched her back in response, the gesture resonating deep inside her. She leaned into him, tightening the hold of her legs around his waist, seeking more friction.

“I’ve missed you too,” she replied, clinging to him as he started walking.

He opened a door and walked them in a very dark room. 

There was no light coming from the window. The moon was still hidden by the clouds, and the streets lights were too far away to light the room properly. They could hear the pounding of the rain and the deafening growl of the thunder echoing against the roof of the building though but it didn’t stop them from kissing. If anything, it made them kiss harder, nip at each other’s lips and fight for dominance with fierce passion.

Oliver let go of Felicity eventually and she was barely able to stand on her wobbly legs. As he kept kissing her, his hands fell on her shoulders and pushed on her double-knit jacket. The piece of clothing fell at their feet, soon joined by her tank top and his own leather jacket and shirt.

Oliver’s hands fell on her waist as he was unable to tear his lips from hers. The kiss was messier, less focused now that both their attentions were being caught by more skin to explore. He rubbed her sides tenderly, warming her up and her own hands fell on his torso. She caressed the hot skin there, her nails scratching his nipples every time they met. His body was hard, but his skin soft and tender. His muscles and abs that she had spent hours wondering about, were just as amazing as she had thought they would be. She kept exploring him, caressing him, mapping his body with her hands and he was soon shaking under her touch, his moans of pleasure muffled in the crook of her neck. He bit her shoulder when she brushed his clothed erection and grunted.

His hands left her waist and deftly unhooked her bra. He pushed the straps off her shoulders and her chest was soon as naked as his. She gasped when the cooler air of the room hit her already pebble nipples. Oliver’s hand brushed over her breast, not cupping it, just grazing the sensitive nubs, slowly driving her crazy. She moaned, louder, and he growled in response, grabbing her hips to spin her around. She yelped in surprise and he just pushed her down, chuckling slightly. She landed softly on his bed, catching herself with her elbows. Soon after, he bent over her, his lips finding hers again for a searing kiss, a mess of tongues, teeth and lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. His weight felt incredible on top of her and she was dying to feel his burning skin against her cooler one. 

His hands landed on her jeans and rested there for a while, not going any further, not doing anything else. Tearing his lips from hers and leaning his forehead against hers, he did something that resonated deep in her soul. 

He asked for permission.

“Felicity,” he panted.

He had always been able to convey many emotions in her name. This time was no exception. And this time was also the most important of all. Because this time, her name wasn’t just about his emotions. It was about hers. 

Was she okay with this? 

Was she sure?

“Oliver,” she replied, her breathing just as uneven as his.

Yes, she was okay with this. 

Yes, she was sure.

He peeled her jeans off of her, taking her underwear with them, baring her completely for him to see. Except, they were in a dark room so he technically couldn’t see her and that was more than fine with her. Well, he couldn’t see her until he switched on the small lamp on his bedside table.

Their eyes, darkened with desire, locked first. Then, she felt herself blushing, for completely different reasons than what they had been doing. She shifted uncomfortably as his eyes left her face to take her in. All in. She felt her blush spread down to her throat and the top of her chest as Oliver kept watching her.

Felicity had always been happy with her body. She had always ate healthily, exercised twice a week and took care of herself as much as she could. So really, Felicity had always been fine with the way she looked. But then, her husband hadn’t had sex or even tried to initiate sex with her in more than a year and that had been enough to bring back insecurities she hadn’t had since high-school. 

She had started wondering why he was no longer attracted to her. Was it because of the white and small stretchmarks on her inner thighs? Was it because of her curves or her slightly round up tummy? Was it because of her breasts? Weren’t they good enough for him anymore? Wasn’t she good enough for him anymore?

And now that she was naked before Oliver, who wasn’t saying anything at all, all her insecurities were coming back and hitting her hard. Her hands went to cover herself but the movement brought Oliver back from his trance and his own hands shot up, circling her wrists.

“Felicity,” he whispered, pushing her hands away. He leaned forward and pressed a soft skin on her jaw, just under her ear. It was right where he had kissed her on her birthday and just like she had that day, she immediately relaxed into him. “You’re beautiful,” he said, propping himself up on his elbows so that he could see her.

Her heart clenched in her chest at his words. It wasn’t the first time that he told her so. But this time, he wasn’t telling her because he wanted to tease her or mock her wardrobe choices. No, this time his blue eyes were shining with affection and honesty.

He truly meant them.

He then proceeded to show her exactly how beautiful he thought she was. He peppered her body with kisses, careful of not leaving any mark on her smooth skin. He kissed her everywhere, from her head to her toes, his raspy stubble making her shiver everywhere it brushed against her skin. He kissed every inch of her body and took it upon himself to discover her most sensitive spots. He hadn’t had time to do that the last time in his club. And if his behaviour was any indication, then it would seem that he had every intention of taking it. He found out that she was ticklish, especially when he caressed her sides. He took advantage of that and tickled her merciless until she had tears in her eyes. He then went back to his first task and started kissing every inch of her body again.

She was a writhing mess underneath him when his hands spread her thighs a bit wider. Slowly, he kissed up a path on one of her thigh, caressing the other with his hand. His lips reached her apex and then, with no warning, they close over her throbbing clit. Before she could round up her mind around the fact that he was actually doing  _that_ to her, he had hooked her legs over his shoulders and his tongue was buried deep inside her. She keened, loudly and her hips bucked up in response to his sudden roughness and he was forced to use one of his strong hands to keep her in place. 

“Oh my god Oliver,” she panted as she felt his tongue stroke her inner walls, setting every nerve ending in her body on fire. He licked a path from her entrance and up to her clit before going back down and doing it all over again. And again. And again.

Her hands fell in his hair and pulled him closer. The muscles in her stomach twisted and Oliver slowed down his pace, teasing her clit softly instead of fucking her with his tongue as she desperately wanted him to. 

“Oliver please,” she sobbed, the pleasure tightening low in her belly but not enough to send her over the edge.

He didn’t indulge her and kept his lazy pace, kissing her clit, licking her core softly, almost tenderly. The hand that wasn’t holding her in place found one of hers. He intertwined their fingers, anchoring her more firmly to the world with him. But she didn’t want to be anchored. She wanted to fly over the edge and she didn’t know what to do to make him give her the release she so desperately craved.

“Oliver,” she begged, her moans turning into cries.

“What do you want Felicity?” He asked. “Tell me.”

She closed her eyes, struggling to find her words as his tongue delve into her tight channel again. “You,” she panted, her voice shaking. “I want you.”

She felt him smile against her. He let go of her hands and she grabbed his comforter, looking for purchase. His tongue left her empty but was soon replaced by two of his calloused fingers. He pumped them in and out of her, teasing her clit with the tip of his tongue and she was left with nothing to do but feel. Feel the raspy friction of his stubble against the most intimate part of her, feel his rough tongue on her swollen numb, feel the movement of his fingers in and out of her.

Her climax took them both by surprise. His lips closed over her clit, tugging at it, and that’s what it took to shatter her over-stimulated body in his arms. Her back bowed off the bed and she screamed his name, loudly, as he kept licking her release, helping her ride the waves of her orgasm.

She felt herself tightening against his tongue again and she pulled on his hair, to bring him back to her mouth, not feeling like going over the edge again. It was just too much. She kissed him soundly, tasting herself on his lips and the thought thrilled her beyond words.

When the need for air became too much, they parted away, both breathing heavily.

“Wow,” she said, at a loss for words.

He chuckled at her words. “Wow?”

“Yeah wow! Wow, wow, wow, you’re really good at that.”

“Thank you,” he replied, a proud smile on his lips.

“You don’t need to sound that smug, you know,” she told him, trying to sound annoyed. And it was kind of really difficult, because he had just blown her mind, using only his tongue and two fingers. Yep. That was how good he was.

He chuckled more. “Hey! You’re not so bad yourself,” he told her.

She frowned. “Did I just…?”

He nodded, not needing her to finish her sentence.

“Oops!”

“It’s okay,” he replied, pecking her lips once, twice.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her, turning the pecks into heated kisses again. She felt his hands travelled down her thighs. He grabbed them and spun them around, separating their lips in the process. She landed on top of him and quickly straddled his waist. She spread her hands on his chest, feeling his heart beat wildly under her palm. She bit her lip and tightened the grip of her legs around him. She had caused that to him. If she had ever doubted that she had any effect on him, she could stop now. She did affect him. Lightly, she caressed his muscled body, learning his hard chest, mapping his strong six-pack, scratching her nails lightly. His body jerked under her touch, yearning for more. She leaned down and kissed and licked and nipped, tasting his skin, turned salty by the tiny bead of sweats covering his body.

“Felicity,” he hissed when she brushed his hard length.

“What Oliver?” She asked, feeling bolder now that he was putty in her hand.

“Stop teasing,” he complained, one of his hands coming up to cup one of her breast, his fingers scratching her perky nipple lightly.

She wanted to tease him the same way he had teased her but just like him, she was craving for more. So teasing would have to wait for another time. She didn’t even realise that she wasn’t doubting whether or not there would be a next time. She just knew there would.

“Do you have a condom?” She asked.

“Bedside table, top drawer,” he said in a breath.

She chuckled at his eagerness and went to get a condom. She rolled it down his shaft and she was barely done that he was already sitting down, pulling her flush against him. His cock brushed against her wet folds and she whimpered at the sensations it elicited within her. He grasped his length and positioned himself at her entrance. Slowly, he pushed inside her and she closed her eyes at the feeling of him filling her so perfectly. And when he stopped mid-way though, she let out a shaky breath through her trembling lips, her thighs quivering.

“Open your eyes,” he panted, “Felicity, look at me, I want to see you” he added, making a million butterflies burst inside her stomach. She did as she was told and fluttered her eyes open. Blue meet blue, his emotions, raw and bear for her to see making her heart clench in her chest. Once their eyes were locked, he pushed inside her again until he was fully seated. She moved her legs to wrap around his waist as both his arms wrapped around her back. The position didn’t allow a very deep penetration but the feeling of being wrapped up together made it up for it. They were in this together and it was everything she wanted. She shuddered in his arms as she felt what she had felt at Verdant. Time seemed to have frozen around them. For one perfect second, it was just the two of them, alone in their bubble together and it was perfect.

But then, he started thrusting up and she felt heat spread from wherever he hit her. Her pebbled nipples brushed against his chest, adding more sensations to the mix, making her gasp in pleasure. He felt so good, everything felt so good. His hands in her back were softly stroking her skin and it took her a while to realise that he was tracing the line of moles that crossed her back. Her hands came up to his hair, bringing his head back to hers, crushing their mouths together. They kissed languidly, matching the pace of his thrust inside her.

They built their orgasm slowly, giving some time to the fire to grow and spread inside their bodies. They never stopped touching, they never stopped kissing and when they came, they came together, her fingers digging into his shoulders, his own kneading the flesh of her ass so tightly she knew there would be bruises with the shape of them the next day. 

His name fell from her lips first, a soft whisper, a secret confession in the semi-darkness of his room. Her name followed quickly after, loud and proudly screamed, asserting everything he had yet to say but not to show.

That was how they truly started.

And although Felicity didn’t know it back then, they would never really end. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	10. May 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!!!!!
> 
> Did you survive the 4x15? Because I didn't! I haven't seen it yet but Tumblr was kind enough to fill me with what I missed.  
> Here's a new chapter, I hope it will make you feel better!  
> A few days ago, I decided to add another chapter to the story. I wrote it yesteday and it was more than 5k words long and I had barely written a quarter of what I wanted to so that chapter will be in two parts. Meaning that there will be not one but two more chapters to this story. Yay! :)  
> As always, thanks for the support, the comments and the kudos. You guys are the best!
> 
> Happy reading! :)

The Polyvore sets for the chapters :)

Late dinner [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_late_dinner_felicity/set?id=187510240) / [(Moira)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_late_dinner_moira/set?id=187510966) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_late_dinner_thea/set?id=187510615)

Charity [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_charity_felicity/set?id=187493755) / [(Moira)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_charity_moira/set?id=187493960) / [(Laurel)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_charity_laurel/set?id=191896370) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_charity_thea/set?id=187494145) / [(Helena)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_charity_helena/set?id=191896629)

Business dinner [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_business_dinner_felicity/set?id=191897172)

Oliver's birthday [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapitre_happy_birthday/set?id=187528006)

 

* * *

 

 

May 2016.

 

After that night at Oliver’s apartment, lots and lots of things changed in Felicity’s life. And others remained the same.

Ray was still working a lot. Actually, it seemed to Felicity that he was working more, if that was even possible. He spent less and less time at home with her. He barely slept in their bed anymore – not that she missed him. He was working really hard, to provide for his wife, to make his company the best of the country. Part of Felicity was proud of him, of his accomplishments.

But that part of her was nothing, compared to the part of her who resented him for neglecting her and controlling each of her public statements and public appearances. He was so afraid that another scandal would hit the company and destroy it for good that he had done everything in his power to prevent such a thing from happening. But in the end, what he had done to prevent another scandal had only made a new one possible.

Felicity couldn’t put a label on her relationship with Oliver. He wasn’t just her lover, because they didn’t just have sex. No, it was way more than sex. Sometimes, when they met at his apartment, they didn’t have sex at all. They made out, because, let’s be honest it was impossible to resist to his smile, but it did not always lead to sex. Sometimes they just talked or watched a movie or played games. That was very teenage-ish of them but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Because they always had a lot of fun. She always kicked his ass at Mario Kart, because yes, she was good with any kind of technology. And she had found out, to her biggest surprise that he was a really good chess player. And he had found, to his own surprise, that she hated losing. And whenever she sulked after getting her ass kicked by his very tactical mind, he always managed to make it up to her. And generally, the making-up part did _not_ include their clothes.

But as much as she loved playing with him, and against him, these weren’t her favourite moments. No. The best moments, for her, was when they got out, late in the evening. They didn’t do it often, the fear of being caught often getting the best out of her, but when they did, it was always to go to the park with Shia. They walked around under the moon, playing with Shia when she demanded their attention. Those moments were the best, because in these moments, it felt like they weren’t just some dirty secret. They felt like… a real couple.

She liked that feeling a lot although she’d never voice it out loud.

Oliver was good for Felicity. She didn’t know if she was good for him, but he was definitely good for her. He made her smile and laugh. He made time for her. He talked to her and trusted her with his problems and fears, allowing her to guide him, to give him advice. He made her feel important, he valued her opinion and for the first time, in a very long time, she felt like she mattered. That what she had to say was worth listening to. That it was okay for her to say more than what was written on the statement given by Palmer Tech’s PR team.

And the sex… God the sex was amazing! Oliver was a very generous and caring lover in bed. He always made sure that she was ready for him or that she came at least once more than him. He was adventurous in bed, more than her previous partners. He was made of passion, always ready to try something new, a new position, a new location… He was not afraid of anything, not if it could bring them both a lot of pleasure. Oliver was also not ashamed of his body and wanted her to feel comfortable in her own skin as well. So he spent a huge amount of time worshipping her body, kissing her everywhere, mapping her body with his fingers, telling her how beautiful she was, how much he wanted her. At first, she had blushed and tried to get away from his grasp to hide herself. But with time, and patience, honestly, lots of patience from him, she had started to relax, to open up more. Both figuratively and literally.

She wasn’t surprised that they always had an amazing time in bed. Their connection had been built on a strong mutual attraction and lust. From the beginning, her body had reacted to his, and he had never tried to hide his desire for her. He had thought that she was beautiful, even gorgeous sometimes, and his heated eyes on hers had been telling her the words his mouth couldn’t. So really, she wasn’t surprised that the sex was absolutely mind-blowing. What surprised her though, was that their emotional connection thrived too.

It wasn’t just about the sex. Mainly because they didn’t always have sex. And they never only met to have sex. There was always something more. Sometimes, they just talked. They lied together, naked in bed and although Felicity knew that she’d better get up and leave, she stayed in his arms and they talked. Oliver was a cuddler, he loved to cuddle after sex, to keep her with him just for a little while longer. And Felicity never had it in herself to deny him that. His cuddles were always warm and soothing so really why would she leave? So more often than not, they lied in his bed, safe in each other’s arms and they talked.

At first, Felicity had been guarded around him. He didn’t push her, but he did let her know that he was there for her, if she ever needed someone to talk to. And so she did. She talked. She opened up. She told him things about her, about her childhood, about her father. She never dived too deep into her memories though. She didn’t want him to see how messed up she was, but she knew he did because he had always been able see her, the real her. And whenever they reached something that was too painful for her to talk about, he’d just take the pain away, one kiss at a time.

They never talked about Ray. It was an unspoken agreement between them. She never mentioned him in front of Oliver and he never asked about him.

There were times where she hated herself for cheating on Ray. Whenever it happened, she thought about how he treated her. She was not his wife anymore, just a pretty flower he could take out with him when he needed to. She had thought about divorcing him, long before the thing with Oliver started, but she knew he’d never let her go. He’d rather keep her unhappy than risk another scandal.

Most of the times though, she felt sorry for Oliver. Because her situation forced them to stay hidden, indoors. They were a dirty secret, one that needed to remain kept.

And she hated that the thing that made her happy was the one thing she couldn’t truly have.

 

* * *

 

Felicity slowed down her business in April and May because Moira’s big charity to support Starling General Hospital was supposed to be in May and she had promised to help organising it. So, she found herself spending a lot of time with the Queen family. When she wasn’t with Thea, helping her studying for her finals, she was with Moira, helping her take care of everything that needed to be taken care of. And when she wasn’t with Thea or Moira, she was with Oliver. They couldn’t see each other every day though, much to her chagrin, and she couldn’t really spend the night at his place, although she doubted that Ray would ever notice her absence. Despite that, they did their best to sneak around at least twice or thrice a week and see each other.

A week before the charity, Felicity found herself staying at the Queen mansion until late in the evening. The caterer supposed to provide food for the charity had cancelled at the last minute. They had had to find another caterer. It had taken them two hours to find a new one but he couldn’t, unfortunately, stick to the menu they had already planned. So they had changed the menu and Felicity had spent hours editing the new menu, the one that would be placed on the tables before sending the draft to the printer.

It was past eight pm when they were finally done with everything. Sighing, Felicity stretched herself.

“Is it always that complicated to organise a charity?”

Moira shook her head, chuckling slightly. “No, I have to say it’s been a while since I’ve had to deal with such a thing. I won’t recommend this caterer to anyone.”

Felicity nodded. It wasn’t the man’s fault if he had gotten sick but cancelling a week before the event was kind of rude. “At least, he didn’t cancel the day before the charity.”

Moira nodded. “Would you like to stay over for dinner my dear? I can ask Raisa to set the table by the pool. It’s really lovely to eat outside, especially when it’s such a beautiful night.”

Felicity shifted, hesitating.

“Robert mentioned that Ray was out of town,” she added, her lips still curled up in a beautiful smile.

Felicity sighed. She had plans with Oliver for the night. But obviously she couldn’t tell Moira about them so instead she said. “I’d be really happy to stay over for dinner.”

“Good, I’ll have everything ready.”

“Anything I can help with?”

“Just relax my dear, you’ve been working really hard today.”

“So have you,” Felicity replied.

Moira just smiled at her and walked out of her office. Felicity reached for her phone and typed a quick text.

_“8:17 pm_

_Have to cancel our plans. Your mom is holding me prisoner!_

_FS”_

_\--_

Then she realised that it may sound like she wasn’t happy to stay at the Queen mansion so she added.

_“8:17 pm_

_Kidding! She just wants me to stay over for dinner._

_FS”_

_\--_

His reply arrived soon after.

_“8:19 pm_

_Coming to save you._

_OQ”_

_\--_

Then,

_“8:20 pm_

_Haha. Still coming over._

_OQ”_

_\--_

She frowned.

_“8:22 pm_

_Why? Are you afraid of leaving your family face my babble alone?_

_FS”_

_\--_

_“8:23 pm_

_No. I am afraid of leaving you face my family alone. ;)_

_OQ”_

_\--_

That one made her laugh, especially the cute winking emoji face he added to his text.

_“8:25_

_But I want them to tell me all the embarrassing stories from your childhood. They won’t say anything if you’re here._

_FS”_

_\--_

_“8:27_

_I’ve already told you most of them. And Thea told you the ones I forgot._

_OQ”_

\--

She smiled again.

_“8:28_

_Good point._

_FS”_

_\--_

_“8:30_

_Now stop distracting me, I am driving._

_OQ”_

_\--_

She locked her phone, a dreamy smile on her lips.

“What’s with the smiley face Felicity?”

The blonde turned around and saw Thea standing in the doorway. “What’s with the huge amount of Eiffel tour’s accessories Thea?” She replied.

“Thea is trying, not very subtly if I may add, to tell us where she wants to spend the summer,” Moira answered, a smile on her lips.

Felicity frowned. “Let me guess… Barcelona?”

Thea rolled her eyes and sighed. “Amateurs.”

“I just wanted to tell you girls that Oliver is coming over for dinner. He just called me.”

Thea tilted her head. “Really? Is he bringing someone?”

“Well, he didn’t say anything about someone coming with him. Why do you ask?”

Thea shrugged. “I don’t know, he seems… different. Lighter, happier. I thought that maybe he had met someone. What do you think Felicity?”

The blonde, caught off guards, coughed to hide her surprise. “I – I don’t know, am I supposed to think anything?” She shook her head. “About this. Because I do think about a lot of things but none of them include your brother and what he does or doesn’t do during his free time.”

Thea stared at her suspiciously for a second before looking away. “How about we go out now? Ollie and dad can meet us by the pool.”

Moira approved her daughter’s idea and the three women walked out, talking about the charity. Thea told them about the dress she was going to wear. She had picked it weeks ago and was excited to finally be able to show it to the public.

Raisa, their Russian housekeeper, poured each of them a glass of wine. Felicity took a sip of the red liquid, staring at the sky. Moira had been right, it was indeed a beautiful night. The air was cool, but not too cool. Felicity welcomed the fresh breeze on her skin after spending so much time locked in an office. The sky was clear and littered with glowing stars. The moon was full and shining brightly. The light of the paper lanterns above the pool were reflected on the water and it really was a mind appeasing setting.

The three women kept talking and were soon joined by Robert Queen and Oliver.

“Felicity,” Robert greeted her. She had insisted on him calling her by her first name the day they had met. She felt old when people called her “Mrs”. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you last.”

“Yes it is Robert. It’s good to see you though.”

“It’s good to see you too child… Oh my god, look at you!” He took a step back to admire her. “You look wonderful, am I not right Moira? She is… glowing, don’t you think?”

Felicity played nervously with her ponytail, shifting under their heavy eyes. “Thank you Robert…”

“Maybe you and Ray are going to make an announcement about a happy event in the near future…”

Felicity laughed nervously at that, her grip on her glass. “I wouldn’t be drinking wine if we were.”

Oliver then rescued her. “Dad, I just think that spring suits Felicity well.”

She smiled at him and he winked at her, from behind his parents’ back.

They sat down to eat dinner after that and they truly had a good time together. Robert talked about Queen Consolidated but one look from his wife and he stopped, orientating the conversation somewhere less formal.

Felicity was fascinated by on of Moira’s rings. She had never seen her wear it before and it was truly beautiful, a round pearl surrounded by diamonds. When Raisa brought them their desert, she asked Moira about it.

“It’s a gift from Robert. We celebrated our wedding anniversary on May the 5th.”

“Well, I think this ring is gorgeous.”

“But what about you dear? Your own anniversary was in April right?”

Felicity felt Oliver tense up next to her and she looked down at her soufflé, remembering what had happened that night pretty vividly. “Yes, it was. But Ray was out of town that day.”

“That boy!” Robert told them then. “He is going to work himself to death.”

Felicity wasn’t going to argue with him on that point.

 

* * *

 

The night of the charity, Ray was sick. He told Felicity to go alone and make him proud.

She didn’t know if she was going to make him proud but she knew she was going to make _herself_ proud.

That night, they were raising funds for Starling General’s hospital and to improve sick children’s living’s conditions.

To say that the charity was a success was an understatement. The food was excellent, the champagne sparkling. People were talking and really invested in the causes they had chosen to defend. The children that had been invited were all happy to be there and enjoying the shows that had been planned for them specifically.

Felicity stood by Moira’s side and greeted everyone with grace and elegance. She really wanted to prove to Moira that she had been right to trust her with such an important charity. She had already started that, mostly when she had helped with the organisation. But she also wanted to prove her worth during the night too, and that was why she did her best to be a good hostess. She exchanged a few words with everyone, not hesitating to give her opinion whenever she felt like doing so. She realised soon that it wasn’t that hard to be nice and polite. She also realised that she didn’t hate mundanities as much as before. When she wasn’t forced, when nobody was there to tell her what to say, when she could actually be herself, her true self, the one who didn’t need to ponder each sentences for hours, she loved attending charities. And it was always nice to attend charities when you were surrounded by the right people, the ones that made you feel good and joked around with you.

People like Oliver and his best friend Tommy, who had come with his long-time girlfriend Laurel Lance, who was a successful lawyer.

Thea was there too. Ever since her very successful masquerade, things had changed for her. People had stopped seeing her as just the daughter of Moira Queen. They had started to see Thea Queen, the beautiful young woman. And Thea had realised that she could be a source of inspiration for people and that the young girls of Starling City looked up to her. She had decided to embrace that role and Felicity couldn’t be more proud of her. The night of the charity was no exception. When she walked in, Thea was wearing, and most definitely rocking, a black evening gown whose sides were different: one was long and the other short. Really short. It was unusual, the eldest women chocked on their drinks when they caught a glimpse of Thea. But the youngest, such as Felicity, all smiled. Thea Queen was a starter of trends. And if Helena Bertinelli’s glares of jealousy were anything to go with, the young Queen had just started a new one. Again.

After they had eaten, Moira had made a speech, and told them more about the causes they were defending that night. Her words had been strong, her tone vibrant and applauses had followed her speech. She then went on the dancefloor with Robert and opened the ball.

“It seems that spring really suits you, Mrs. Smoak,” a voice whispered in Felicity’s ear.

She turned around and smiled brightly at Oliver, who had been sitting next to her during the whole dinner. One of his hands had fallen on her thigh under the table at some point and it had stayed there, supporting her more than distracting her. “Thank you Mr. Queen. I wish I could say the same thing about you but I am afraid that summer, fall and winter suit you just as much as spring does.”

Oliver chuckled at her words, his slightly darkened eyes roaming over her unabashedly now that they were alone at the table, Thea long gone with her boyfriend Roy now. Felicity internally high-fived herself for her dressing choice. She was wearing a red dress with a triangular cut-out that exposed the valley between her breasts. She had chosen it, knowing that Oliver would like it. And like it he did.

“Would you like to dance?” He asked, standing up.

“I thought you’d never ask,” she whispered as he led them toward the dance-floor.

They danced in silence for a while, not needing to fill the void with words. His hand on her waist and his other hand guiding them around the couples dancing telling her everything she needed to know.

He was happy. The charity was a success. He was proud of her.

This dance felt different from the previous ones they had shared. It felt more intimate and it wasn’t that surprising, considering how intimate they had been before the evening.

At some point though, he broke the silence and asked. “Will you come to _Verdant_ on Monday?”

She smiled at him. Thea and Tommy were throwing a party at _Verdant_ for his twenty-seventh birthday, she had been invited and, of course, she was going to be there. “I wouldn’t miss that for the world,” she told him, her mind already thinking about the present she was going to get him.

He smiled at her and his genuine happiness made her heart clench in her chest.

“You look really beautiful tonight,” he told her again. “You dress is… perfect.”

“Thank you.”

The song ended and they stopped dancing. She leaned toward him and whispered in his ear. “But I think you’ll like what’s underneath _more_.”

She watched as his eyes widened, staring at her in disbelief. She couldn’t quite believe herself that she had just told him that.

Robert asked to dance with her soon after, leaving his son no chance to reply to her teasing comment.

 

* * *

 

Later, Oliver dragged her away from the party. He took her upstairs and went to see for himself what was hidden underneath her dress. When he realised that she had forgotten her underwear, he decided that it was a necessity for him to keep her upstairs for a little while longer. She strongly agreed with him.

He buried his head between her thighs and drove her to the edge, denying her pleasure until she confessed that yes, red was his colour, and yes, she was wearing a red dress for him. Only then did he let the pleasure burst inside her and wreck her from the inside.

Clinging to him, but not kissing him because they couldn’t afford to ruin her make-up, she thought, once again, that this charity was indeed a huge success.

 

* * *

 

Ray didn’t agree with her the next morning.

Oddly enough, he was suddenly feeling much better and when she woke up he dropped the newspaper onto her lap.

Frowning, she opened it. There was a recap of the charity and pictures. Lots of pictures. She instantly knew which one had gotten Ray’s attention. It was picture of Oliver and her. It had been taken while they had been dancing together. They were both smiling at each other and their eyes were shining brightly. The picture was very intimate, the photographer had caught them while they’d been having one of these moments where they just got lost into each other’s eyes, the world fading away around them as a consequence of their closeness.

Felicity steeled her spine. People, especially friends, had moments when they danced. It was completely normal. Ray had no reasons to suspect anything.

Her shoulders went limp when she saw the line under the picture though.

_“Felicity Smoak-Palmer: the third Queen of the evening.”_

Seriously? They couldn’t have come up with something better?

“Oliver Queen dancing with my wife. _Again_.” Ray told her.

“Well, if you’d been there, maybe I wouldn’t have had to dance with him,” she shot back, annoyed by his annoyance. She got up from the bed.

“This is not okay Felicity.”

She rolled her eyes. “We’re just friends Ray,” she lied. “You know how journalists can be… They love to make a big deal out of things that aren’t worth it.”

“Felicity, Palmer Tech is finally back on tracks… We can’t afford another scandal so I expect you to end whatever friendship you have with Oliver Queen.”

 

* * *

 

Later that day, she got a bouquet of scarlet red peonies and a red card.

Smiling as her mind went back to the previous night and their very heated session upstairs, Felicity about the red card.

_“Red has never looked better than yesterday,_

_OQ”_

* * *

 

_"8:24 pm_

_Lis where are U? Party is about to start!_

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“8:38 pm_

_Lis? Where are U?_

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“9:12 pm_

_Lis??? Call me back._

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“9:47 pm_

_Where are you?_

_OQ”_

_\--_

_“9:50 pm_

_WHERE ARE U???_

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“9:56 pm_

_Felicity?_

_OQ”_

_\--_

_“10:26 pm_

_I am drunk. And you’re still not here. I miss U girl!_

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“10:41 pm_

_Call me ASAP._

_OQ”_

_\--_

_“11:05 pm_

_I just threw the content of my glass at Helena’s face. U’re missing sthg!!!!!!_

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“11:06 pm_

_WHERE ARE U? Ollie’s looking for you! It’s annoying!!!_

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“11:21 pm_

_Felicity answer your damn phone! Where are you?_

_OQ”_

_\--_

_“11:30_

_Cutting the cake at midnight!!!! You better bring your beautiful ass here before the clock strikes!_

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“11:42_

_Felicity just text me that you’re okay! I am worried._

_OQ”_

_\--_

 

* * *

 

“Your phone has been buzzing all night long, why is that?” Ray told her after they had parted ways with the Webers.

“Thea had invited me to Oliver’s birthday party tonight,” she said through gritted teeth, her fingers aching to check her phone.

“It was tonight? I thought you said it was next Monday.”

She rolled her eyes, not falling for his “innocent” tone. “No,” she corrected. “It was tonight.”

 

* * *

 

_“12:17 pm_

_So gonna kick your ass tomorrow!_

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“12:23_

_I am okay. Call you later._

_Sorry I missed the party._

_FS”_

_\--_

_“12:24_

_Sorry I couldn’t make it T, had to go out to dinner with Ray._

_FS”_

 

* * *

 

She didn’t call Oliver the next morning, although she had told him she would. She had missed his birthday party, one she had promised to attend and she thought that he deserved a face to face explanation.

She came over to his loft. She knew where he was hiding a spare key, so she took it and opened the door with it. Then, she made her way inside his apartment. She was well acquainted with it now, she was pretty sure she could find his room with a blindfold on her eyes.

He was lying on his bed, only wearing boxer briefs, his comforter tossed away. She sat down next to him and smiled at the peaceful expression on his face.

She brushed the tips of her fingers against his side, it was one of his most sensitive spots, and ran them down to his hip. She moved back up and then down again until his strong hand shot up and caught her smaller one.

His eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him.

“Good morning sleepyhead! I brought you coffee and flowers!” She told him cheerfully.

“Too early,” he mumbled. “Wanna sleep…” He turned on his side, taking her with him. A giggle escaped her lips as she fell in bed beside him. She kicked her shoes off and tangled her legs with his. His head found its place in the crook of her neck and she closed her eyes, revelling in the feeling of his warm and regular breath against her skin.

“It’s past eleven,” she whispered softly against his hair as she was feeling that he was falling asleep again.

“Still too early,” he repeated, groaning.

She chuckled slightly. “When did you get back home?”

“1am. Party sucked.”

She frowned. “I am sure it’s not true,” she told him, trying to cheer him up.

“But it is,” he whined. “It lacked red. You were missing.”

She shook her head, chuckling. “You’re cute when you’re sulking.”

“Am not,” he told her, his moving lips brushing against her skin, making her shiver. “Am a grown-up now, haven’t you heard?”

She kissed the top of his head absent-mindedly and he looked up to see her.

“Why weren’t you there last night?”

She sighed. “I was on my way to the party when Ray told me that the Webers were asking us out to dinner. I couldn’t exactly refuse so…”

“You went.”

She nodded. “I am sorry.”

“Why didn’t you reply to my texts? Or Thea’s?”

“I couldn’t take the risk to have Ray seeing them. He was sitting next to me.”

Oliver straightened up a bit, his worry awaking him more efficiently than her. “Do you think he knows?”

He didn’t have to precise what. “No.” She told him. “He would have told me if he knew.” She paused. “He’s just afraid of what people may think of our friendship. I think that’s why the Webers asked us out on your birthday. He must have told them that we were ‘free’ that night, with no obligations.” She sighed at that. Because she had had an obligation, but Ray hadn’t cared.

Oliver just nodded, not saying anything. He spotted the flowers she had brought him. Peonies. Scarlet red peonies. “Why?” He asked.

“Well, after all the peonies that you got me, I figured it would be nice to get you some for a change.”

He smiled at her and she smiled back. She then lowered herself down a bit on his bed, to get more comfortable in his embrace. “Happy belated birthday,” she whispered, her eyes lost in his blue ones. “How about we spend the day in bed?”

He leaned in and kissed her softly. “That sounds like a good idea,” he agreed between two kisses. She traced the seam of his lips with her tongue, asking for entrance but he didn’t indulge her.

“What?” She asked, her head tilted in surprise. It wasn’t like Oliver to refuse a kiss.

“Don’t you have a meeting with the Matthew Keller this afternoon?” He asked.

She had told him about that meeting absentmindedly about a week ago. And he had remembered. Heat spread in her chest and she smiled, feeling happier than ever. “I have a migraine, haven’t you heard?” she replied, winking at him playfully.

“I know a good remedy…” He said, rolling them so that he could be on top of her. Her legs immediately spread out to accommodate him.

“Oh really?” She teased, her hands already taking his boxer briefs off of him.

“Yeah, really,” he replied, capturing her lips for a heated kiss.

She grasped his hardening cock and pumped it once, twice. He groaned, his teeth nipping at her lips in retaliation. He rolled her around and reached for the zipper of her dress. He opened it, slowly, peppering kisses along her spine as he did so. He did that every time there was a zipper on the back of her dress. The man just loved kissing the curve of her spine. She heard him gasp the moment he saw what she was wearing underneath her dress.

“What?” She asked, propping herself up on her elbows, looking at him above her shoulder.

“You know damn well what,” he growled nipping at her skin with a vengeance.

She moaned softly, arching her back against him, desperate to feel more of his lips against her heated skin.

Yes, she knew damn well what had caused such a strong reaction from him.

She had put on the scarlet red lacy set of lingerie she had bought a few months ago.

For him.

“Felicity,” he whispered, sitting down on his heels. She rolled on her back, pushing the strands of her dress off her shoulders. Quickly, his hands came to help her get rid of the offending garment, his hungry eyes devouring her. “Felicity,” he repeated, as he took her glasses off of her and untied her hair. She shook her head so that her blonde curls would be spread out on the pillow under her head. She stretched herself, his eyes widening at the sight of her only wearing a really sexy scarlet red set of lingerie.

“Cat got your tongue?” She asked, feeling a burst of confidence exploding within her at the expression on his face. His eyes were completely dark, their bright blue long gone. His mouth hung up opened and he kept watching her.

“You’re… You look…”

“I look?” She insisted, grinning proudly. She raised one of her legs and stretched it before her, wrapping it around his waist in a very sensual motion.

“Sexy,” he blurted, his hands coming up to caress her thigh. “So damn sexy.” His other hand hooked around her thong and he dragged it down her legs, slowly. “When did you get this?” He asked, leaning down toward her after he had carefully put the piece of clothing away. He deftly unhooked her bra, putting it away just as carefully as he had done it with her thong. She sighed, because she didn’t want tender and gentle Oliver right now. She wanted primal, almost feral, Oliver.

“A few months ago,” she told him. He dropped kisses against the column of her throat, his abs pressing hard against her core, her juices spreading on his warm skin. He was still holding her leg wrapped tightly around his waist as his other hand rummaged through the drawer of his bedside table, looking for a condom. He handed it to her when he got it and she teared the foil packet open with her teeth, rolling down the condom on his shaft soon after. He made her let go of his length after that, deciding that the main course had to wait after he had wholeheartedly savoured the appetizers. She didn’t agree with that plan. She was hungry for him and she was going to have him right here and now.

“Oliver,” she gasped, when his lips fell on one of her hard nipples. He didn’t reply right away, too busy sucking the little nub into his mouth, making her arch against him, seeking more friction.

“Yes?” He said, grinning smugly after the reaction he had just gotten from her. She erased that grin pretty quickly when she reached for his throbbing cock and brought it closer to her entrance. “Fe-li-ci-ty,” he reprimanded her, his hand circling her wrist to prevent her from connecting them.

“I bought it for you,” she whispered in the shell of his ear. “When I saw it, hanging in the boutique, I thought about you and then I bought it,” she added, knowing that this detail would break him and make his change his plan.

He filled her with one hard stroke, making her cry out his name. “And what did you think about exactly?” He growled, the predatory look she had wanted to see finally making his eyes shine fiercely.

“How about you try things out and I tell you if you’re close to find out or not?” She replied, her nails digging up in his forearms.

He growled again, louder, and pulled out of her before going back again, _hard_. “You, Miss Smoak, are the best belated birthday present ever,” he whispered, his voice low, almost feral.

“I am glad you think so,” she told him, her walls clenching around him, a scorching fire burning her insides, matching the intensity of the one on her heated skin.

“And I am holding on what I said earlier,” he said, dropping open-mouthed kisses on the column of her throats, nipping at the skin there in time with his thrust inside her.

Her mind was fuzzy, the sparks of pleasure making it almost impossible for her to think about anything but what he was making her feel. “What?” She eventually was able to ask.

“Red has never looked any better,” he repeated circling his hips, rubbing against her clit in the process.

“I…” His lips fell on hers, swallowing her words as he started to make them both _really_ enjoy his birthday present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	11. June 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!!!
> 
> Two updates in a row! Well, what can I say? I am on vacation and slightly bored and I felt just like working on this chapter today!  
> About this chapter... It's a very emotional one, there is angst and we get to see a bit of Oliver's point of view on things. It's also very long, the longest I've published so far.  
> Thanks for the tremendous response this story is getting, you guys are the best!
> 
> Happy reading!

As usual, the Polyvore sets for the chapter.

Ice-cream time [Felicity](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_10_ice-cream_time/set?id=188465401).

Another party [Felicity](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_10_another_party_felicity/set?id=188471866) / [Thea](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_10_another_party_thea/set?id=188472092) / [Ashley](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_10_party_ashley/set?id=191992843).

Coffee time [Felicity](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_10_coffee_time_felicity/set?id=188574361) / [Thea](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_10_coffee_time_thea/set?id=188575556).

The talk [Felicity](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_10_love_you_felicity/set?id=188683665).

 

Also, to avoid any confusion, there will be italics at some point in the chapter. It's Felicity remembering a phone call between her and Oliver. I don't think that you'll get confused but just in case... I prefer warning you before you read the chapter.

 

* * *

 

 

June 2016.

 

Felicity had no idea how she had ended up sitting on Oliver’s couch, her legs crossed over his lap and sharing a cup of her favourite ice-cream with him.

Actually, that wasn’t entirely true.

She remembered another dinner cancelled by Ray pretty vividly and a text from Oliver offering ice-cream and recorded TV-shows to watch.

So really, she did know how she had ended up sitting on her more-than-a-friend’s couch, her legs crossed over his lap and sharing a cup of ice-cream with him.

“How come you’re wearing this ugly poncho again?” Oliver asked, gesturing at the poncho thrown over her shoulders.

“First thing first, my poncho isn’t ugly,” she told him, watching him above her glasses. “Don’t insult it, ever again. It’s sensitive.”

Oliver raised his hands up, a smile on his lips. “Okay, okay! Sorry poncho. You’re not ugly, you’re just… Not easy to look at.”

Felicity tried to kick him with her foot but his hands shot up and ended on the bare skin of her legs, preventing them from moving. His hands, despite having held the ice-cream cup for a while, were still warm and felt, as usual, really good on her.

“I thought that only the poncho was sensitive,” he said, his fingers drawing meaningless patterns on her skin. His hands couldn’t seem to stay still, at least they never were when she was around. And she wasn’t complaining at all.

“We both are,” she corrected. “And to answer your question, the air is cool at night.”

He huffed back a laugh. “You’re the only person who thinks that Starling’s air is cool during the summer.”

“Technically, summer is not here yet…” She reminded him.

“Yeah I know… Tommy keeps pestering me about what we’re gonna do for the summer with the club...” He hesitated, as if he had actually more to say and Felicity frowned. He wasn’t one to hesitate. When he had something to say, he usually said it. She had learnt that the hard way.

“What’s going on?” She asked, leaving her spoon in the cup, sensing the shift in the until now pretty comfortable mood.

Oliver leaned forward, his lower stomach pressing against the side of her thigh. “You know, we already manage three clubs: two in Starling City, one in Central City. Someone we trust handles the club in Central City and we both go there, regularly, sometimes several times a month, to make sure that everything is alright.” Felicity nodded, she knew that already. “Well, we have the opportunity to open a new club. In Coast City.”

Felicity smiled brightly at him. “Oliver, that’s amazing!! Your business is expanding! It’s like watching your child grow up. Except clubs sell drinks instead of drinking them.” He didn’t seem really happy though. “What’s wrong?”

“We’re really happy that _Verdant_ is expanding it’s just that…” He rubbed his face with his hand. “It’s getting harder and harder to handle everything. One of us will probably have to go there a lot, to supervise the construction and… It’s not gonna be Tommy, because he has Laurel and…” He sighed. “I’ll be travelling a lot.”

The thought didn’t fit well with Felicity, for reasons she wasn’t ready to face. She steeled her spine and put an even brighter smile on her face, finally thanking all the time she had spent on a red carpet, faking smiles for photographers. She leaned toward Oliver, her right hand grabbing one of his. “Oliver, this is just another city to conquer. What’s happening to you, to the both of you is amazing. It’s obviously a really good opportunity for you and Tommy. You have to take it.”

He raised his head up, his eyes meeting hers. His emotions were all there, a swirling turmoil shining sadly. “But what about you?”

She swallowed, her hand tightening around his own. The atmosphere was suddenly so much heavier. “Don’t make decisions because of me,” she told him, her throat tight with emotions. “You’ll regret them.”

“Felicity,” he started but she disentangled herself from him and got up. She needed to get out. The heaviness of the conversation. The thought of him going away. His eyes. His emotions. Her emotions. It was too much and she needed to get away.

“I should go, it’s getting late.”

“Felicity,” Oliver insisted.

“My ugly poncho and I can see ourselves out.”

And before he could add anything, she was out, running away as fast as possible.

 

* * *

“Felicity, can I talk to you for a second?”

Felicity winced. It was never good when Nana called her “Felicity” and “Felicity” only. When she did, she sounded a lot like a mom, a mom who was about to lecture her about something.

“Sure Nana,” she replied, smiling brightly, as if she hadn’t just been caught sneaking into her own house. “I thought you had gone home already.”

“I was about to when Mr. Ray came in. When he couldn’t find you, he asked me where you were. He was wondering if you were hanging out with the Queens again.”

Felicity froze in place. “What did you tell him?”

“That I didn’t know. He didn’t look really pleased though.”

Felicity closed her eyes. “He called to say he was going to be late again. He can’t very well expect me to stay at home, hoping that he’ll come home to me at a decent hour.”

Nana raised her hands to stop her ramble. “You don’t have to justify yourself to me Felicity.”

The blonde opened her mouth, once, twice and closed it, not knowing what to say. Nana knew. Felicity knew that she knew. And Nana also knew that Felicity knew that she knew. They both actually knew lots of things about each other and it was getting really confusing.

“Where’s Ray now?” She asked, her palms wet with sweat. She was nervous. She had been ever since she had left Oliver’s place.

“Gone again,” Nana replied. “His EA called. Apparently, there was something wrong with the report for his meeting, tomorrow morning.

Felicity’s phone buzzed so she nodded absentmindedly at what she had just been told.

_“10:37 pm_

_Can we talk?_

_OQ”_

“Felicity, from a friend to another, I think that you should be more careful with your nights out.”

Felicity nodded, looking away. “Thank you Nana.”

The old woman smiled warmly at her. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight to you too.”

 

* * *

 “Mrs. Smoak-Palmer, can I have a word please?” A blonde journalist asked.

“Lauren, you can even have two,” Felicity replied, a playful smile on her lips. “And I’ve already told you to call me Felicity.”

“Well, Felicity, what can you tell us about the rumours of you joining your husband at Palmer Tech?”

Felicity’s smile only grew wider. “Well, that to make a marriage last, you better not mix business and pleasure.”

Lauren smiled back at her then asked. “And what do you think of the people who say that you’re not joining your husband because he doesn’t need you?”

Felicity kept smiling, barely wincing at the memory of the people questioning her abilities. “That my husband and I are both really happy with our jobs and very proud of each other’s accomplishments, no matter what they are.”

 

* * *

“Thea, I am so glad you’re here… What’s wrong?” Felicity asked, her flute of champagne in hand, and frowning slightly at the look on her friend’s face.

“Have you seen Ollie?” Thea replied. She was fidgeting, but not like she usually did. This time was different. She was nervous.

“No, I haven’t. Why?”

_We need to talk._

“He said he’d be here early tonight,” Thea mumbled, scanning the crowd.

_I think that you should be seen in public with people. And by people I mean girls. Or women. Whatever._

Felicity looked around her, but didn’t catch a glimpse of Thea’s brother. “I am sure he’s on his way. Don’t worry. Why are you so worried anyway?”

_What? I don’t want to lie!_

“I am not worried…”

_Isn’t that what we’re already doing?_

Felicity tilted her head, trying to read her friend’s expression. “What’s going on?”

_I don’t want to have to pretend that I am with someone else._

Thea’s eyes fell on her again. “Remember when I told you that Oliver was seeing someone?”

_But that’s the thing, we’re not really together Oliver._

Felicity swallowed before nodding.

_I don’t want to have to do this._

“Well, he said he’d bring her tonight.”

Felicity held her glass of champagne a bit tighter. What? “I think that’s wonderful. Why are you so nervous about it? It’s just a girl, you know, not some kind of alien.”

Thea shook her head. “You don’t get it.”

Felicity gave her a small smile, pretending to be amused. “Then explain it to me.”

“Well, Ollie… He’s never been the kind of guy who would officially introduce his girlfriend to us. This girl… She has to be a big deal. She has to mean something.”

Her words stirred up something in Felicity’s chest. Her heart clenched in her chest and she suddenly had to focus harder to maintain the smile on her lips.

Before she could say anything to Thea, Oliver joined them a tall and gorgeous brunette besides him.

“Good evening,” he told them, a charming smile on his lips. “Thea, may I introduce you my girlfriend, Ashley Bennet. Ashley, this is my little sister Thea.”

The brunette flashed a bright smile to Thea and shook her hand. “I am so glad to finally meet you. Oliver has told me so much about you. And I’ve read even more things about you in the magazines. That dress you wore at your mother’s charity… It was breath-taking! I’ve always said that you had more class than Helena Bertinelli and I was really happy when you proved me right.”

Thea’s face became a mix of a frown and a smile. She was clearly taken back by the girl’s attitude. “Well thank you! I am glad to finally meet you…” Her eyes made their way to her brother and she shot him a weird look. He shrugged as an answer.

Then, he looked at Felicity, challenging her with one glance. She braced herself and extended her hand toward his girlfriend.

“And Ashley, this is a friend of our family, Felicity Smoak- _Palmer_ ,” Oliver introduced her. He pronounced her husband’s name in a way that made her want to yell in frustration. What game was he playing?

“Yes, you’re the wife of that Palmer inventor. You look a bit older in real life! I’ve always said that getting married before the age of twenty-five was a big mistake. Girls should enjoy their youth while they still can.”

“Well, I did enjoy my youth,” Felicity replied coldly. “And I still do,” she added, her eyes meeting Oliver’s, replying to his challenge with one of her own. Two could play this game.

He shook his head, huffing back a laugh.

 

* * *

 

Felicity was making her way toward the exit when she heard his voice.

“Leaving already?”

She spun around, her fist tight. “Where’s your girlfriend?” She shot back, avoiding his eyes like the plague.

She didn’t want to see them. She really _really_ didn’t want to. She knew what she’d find there and she knew she couldn’t face it. His eyes had never been able to lie to her, they had never been able to hide things from her. Actually, Oliver had always made her feel way too many things, with just his eyes. They had always been a mean of communication between them, especially when their mouths were too shy to say anything. But tonight, Felicity knew better. The intensity in his eyes wasn’t there to make her feel desired or admired or beautiful. No. Tonight, it was about him, and only about him.

But she couldn’t avoid looking at him forever so she took a deep breath and looked up.

There was pain in his eyes. Sadness, confusion, disappointment. And she had been the one who had put them all there, when she had ran away from, when she had asked him to be seen in public with someone else. But there was also something warm, something desperate to be let out. And she knew what it was. She knew what this warmth meant. It was already making her regret all the stupid things she had said and done. It was already telling her that he would forgive everything if she just said the words.

But she couldn’t. She wanted to but couldn’t.

So instead of pulling them both out of their misery, she put her own fear and pain in a box and waited for him to answer her question.

“Jealousy doesn’t look good on you,” he told her, taking a step toward her. “Green is definitely not your colour.”

_Felicity please, don’t ask me to do this…_

“I am not jealous. And I have an emerald green gown that would make you change your mind.”

_You’re the only person I want to be seen in public with._

He shook his head. “Whatever you say.”

_It’s more than sex for me._

She passed by him, rolling her eyes. She was almost out of the building, when her anger took over and made her spin around to face him again. “You know, when I said that it would be best for you to be seen in public with women, I didn’t mean coming to a party with a super model and introduce her as your girlfriend to your family.”

_It’s always been more. And I know you know it too._

“So much for not being jealous, uh?”

_I don’t want to be the one travelling to Coast City._

She just glared at him. “How much are you paying her anyway?”

_I want to spend more time with you, not less time._

“What makes you think that I have to pay her?” He had taken another step toward her and they were now chest to chest. Hers was rising really quickly, her anger was making her heart race and his close presence her blood boil.

_I know it’s not fair to put this on you but I more than like you Felicity._

“Oliver!” She yelped, pressing her palms on his chest to push him away. He didn’t do as much as batting an eye.

_I think I’ve started falling for you when you told me that I was perfect, gorgeous and to die for._

“This is what you asked for baby,” he whispered in the shell of her ear, nipping at her earlobe. “Now deal with it.”

_I love you._

 

* * *

 

Felicity tried not to look at the picture of Oliver and Ashley on the cover of Starling newspaper. She chose to focus on the computer in front of her instead, and hit the black little keys furiously.

She stopped typing when her phone buzzed.

_“2:56 pm_

_Where R U?_

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“2:56 pm_

_Not at your house, I already checked._

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“2:57 pm_

_I needed drug._

_FS”_

_\--_

_“2:59 pm_

_Say no more ;)_

_TQ”_

 

* * *

 

When she arrived, Thea didn’t just sit down in front of Felicity. She collapsed on the chair, sighing heavily.

“Well, I am happy to see you too!” Felicity said, closing her laptop.

“I just had lunch with Ollie and Ashley,” Thea said.

Felicity, who had brought, her steaming cup of coffee to her lips, put it back on the table, without drinking. “Oh,” she said trying to sound as detached as possible. “And why do you look like Ray when he’s been stuck for hours in a meeting with old and boring investors?”

“Because…” She hesitated. “They are boring!”

Felicity frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Thea shifted on her chair, leaning toward Felicity. “There is something about them together… I don’t know… the way he looks at her…” She paused, looking for the right words, her eyes lost in front of her. She raised her head a little to meet Felicity’s eyes and her own widen suddenly. It was like she had just had a big revelation. “He doesn’t look at her the way he looks at you.”

It was Felicity’s turn to shift on her seat uncomfortably. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Thea studied her in silence for a moment and Felicity took it upon herself not to look away. Then, after an excruciatingly long while, her friend said.

“I don’t know.”

 

* * *

 

To say that Felicity wasn’t doing okay was an understatement.

She was doing terrible.

And for once, she was the only to blame.

It wasn’t Ray’s fault if she was doing terrible. No. Things with Ray were quite the same. She wasn’t expecting anything to change anymore. Sadly, she knew better now. She wasn’t even affected by his negligence. She just didn’t care anymore. She hadn’t realised at first that she had stopped caring. And it didn’t hurt when she came to her senses and admitted to herself that she wasn’t in love with her husband anymore.

She had fallen out of love with him. Things were as simple as that.

Except they weren’t.

Because she had fallen in love with someone else.

She had fallen in love with Oliver Queen.

She could say that she hadn’t seen it coming but that would be lying. She had seen it coming. There had been a spark between them from the beginning. It had just taken her some time to give in, to stop running from it and accepting it.

She was in love with Oliver. And he was in love with her too. And when he had gathered up the nerves to tell her, she had run. Why had she run? She wasn’t sure. She knew that she hadn’t been ready to face the depth of her emotions and that fleeing his had seemed like a good way to avoid the things she desperately wanted to escape. But she also knew that she was scared. Scared that his feelings wouldn’t last. Scared that hers would. Scared that she had grown so attach to him that she wouldn’t be able to deal with the pain when he’d leave her too.

She had been scared for many reasons so she had run. And it had felt like a good idea.

Now, almost two weeks later, it didn’t feel like a good idea anymore.

But she had no idea what to do.

Because everything was just a whole mess.

She couldn’t divorce her husband and leave him for another man. The scandal that would ensue would destroy him, if he even let her go in the first place. Moreover, even if she wasn’t in love with Ray anymore, Felicity still valued him and was really proud of what he had achieved with his company. Palmer Technologies had cost them a lot, their marriage. Everything would have been for nothing if somehow their divorce were to tarnish the company’s name.

And leave him, for what? Pursue a relationship with Oliver?

The thought was scary to say the least.

Cooper and she had worked for a while because of their brains. Then he had left her for someone else.

Ray and she had worked for a longer while because they were a perfect match. Then he had pulled away from her because of his job.

Oliver and she… They worked together but they didn’t make sense. They were both so different and yet somehow they fit together. He brought out sides of her she didn’t know existed. She wasn’t a better version of herself now that she was with him. No, that wasn’t it. She was just… more complete. The parts of her that had never interested Cooper and Ray, Oliver had embraced them and showed her how to do it as well.

Everything about their relationship was wrong. It was based on lies and betrayal but still. It felt right to snuggle against him while they were sitting on his couch. It felt right to hold his hand, kiss his forehead and softly peck his lips to say hello.

Everything about them was wrong.

But everything about them felt right.

And that scared her. Because what if one day she lost it all? What if one day he realised that he could have a very hot and gorgeous woman at his side? What if one day he realised that she wasn’t all that good? What if he left her? What if their relationship only worked because it was a secret? What if it crumbled once it was out in the open?

She had discovered a lot about herself in the short amount of time that they had been together and she had never been afraid of discovering something new about her. Oliver made it so easy to accept the new things.

But now that she was discovering that he was becoming essential to her, she wasn’t just afraid.

She was terrified.

 

* * *

 

They hadn’t talked or called each other since the disastrous night where he had introduced Ashley as his “girlfriend”. Felicity missed him, she was longing to hear his voice or see him smile but she just couldn’t bring herself to grab her phone and call him to tell him that she loved him.

Because telling him made it real.

Once he’d know, he’d have expectations. And she didn’t know if she was going to be able to answer them properly.

So there she was lying in bed, cuddling with Shia, when Nana walked in. She didn’t say a word, just handed her the newspaper and then walked out.

Groaning Felicity rolled over, instantly missing the soft fur of her dog, and grabbed the newspaper.

The picture had been taking at night, in front of Oliver’s apartment. It was blurry but his tall figure was still very recognizable. And he was kissing her.

Ashley.

The legend under the picture made Felicity’s blood boil.

_“Starling City can start looking for a new most attractive bachelor!”_

Confusion overwhelmed her. What did that mean? Why was he kissing her?

Heat spread under her skin, making her blood boil and pound in her veins with a revenge.

One of the things that she had learnt about herself with Oliver was that she was jealous and could be extremely possessive.

So, to say that watching a picture of the man she loved kissing another woman was making her angry was an understatement. She was mad beyond words. She was _furious_.

What was that supposed to mean? Did he really want to call things off between them? Then, he could have had the decency to actually call her, right? If he hadn’t lied to her, if he had really loved her, he would have called. Or maybe it was his way to tell her things were over between them. Maybe that picture was his call.

Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t.

Maybe he had done it just to get a reaction from her.

Well, if it had been his intention, she wasn’t going to be the one to disappoint him.

 

* * *

 

She went to his apartment even though she knew he was still working at _Verdant_. She knew where his spare key was and she had been afraid that maybe he wouldn’t open the door to her if he saw her through the peephole. She sat down on the couch, the very same couch where they had last been happy together, and pulled her lap close to her chest.

She jumped in surprise when she heard his key turn in the lock a while later. He turned on the light and that’s when he noticed her. He took off his leather jacket without saying a word.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, once he had gotten rid of his shoes as well.

“Waiting for you?” She replied. She couldn’t read his expression and it was throwing her off.

“Is that a question?” He shot back.

She shook her head. “No. I was indeed waiting for you.” She sighed, gathering up her nerves. “We need to talk.”

He looked down toward the floor and her heart clenched at the sight of his shoulders going limp. “Listen, Felicity, if this is about the picture of me and Ashley, you should know that she was the one who kissed me. She got the wrong idea and…”

She raised her hand to stop him. “I am not here to talk about that. I am not going to lie, I wasn’t happy when I saw the picture and that’s what made me decide to come here. But as I was waiting for you, I had a lot of time to think and I think that we should…” She stopped for a second and she saw the expression on his face go from neutral to panic-stricken in a second. “Clear the air,” she added quickly.

He nodded, relaxing slightly. “Okay.”

She took a step toward him, dropping her purse on the couch. “I am sorry I asked you to be seen in public with someone else. It wasn’t my most brilliant idea.”

He nodded again, one of his hand coming up to scratch the back of his head. “Yeah… I kind of agree with that,” he told her. “But I shouldn’t have accepted to do it. It’s just that I was… mad and I don’t react well when I am mad. I am sorry.” He paused. “Ashley is an old friend from college,” he started.

She raised a hand to interrupt him. “You don’t have to do this.”

“But I want to,” he said. “She owed me a favour, so I asked her to pretend to be my girlfriend. I should have known that she’d get the wrong idea, she used to have a crush on me back in the days. She started to play her character a little bit too well in public.” He sighed. “And when I reminded her that this was supposed to be fake, she just decided to prove me wrong and kissed me. I pushed her away immediately but of course, it’s not the photograph they chose to publish.” He shook his head, and she could feel his annoyance from where she was standing. “I am sorry Felicity, I know that you have no reason to believe me, but I swear to god that things happened that way. You know how I feel about you, I’d never hurt you like this.”

He was right, she had no reason to believe him. But she looked into his eyes and only saw honesty in them. So, she nodded and taking a step toward him. “I believe you,” she whispered. He let out a shaky breath and she offered him a small smile.

“About what you said…” she went on. She didn’t have to precise what it was, he immediately understood what she was talking about. “I… I am sorry that I ran away when you tried to tell me about it. And I am sorry that I didn’t say it back when you finally said it.”

He shook his hand, crossing his arms over his chest. “You didn’t have to say it back, especially if you didn’t mean it. I don’t…”

“But I would have meant it,” she cut him off, her voice breaking when the last words fell from her lips. Her emotions were tightening her throat, hot tears coming to her eyes.

He tilted his head. “What are you saying?”

“I am saying that I am in love with you.” He opened his mouth to say something, but she didn’t let him. “I am sorry I didn’t say it sooner but it was easier to pretend that I didn’t love you.” She shook her head. “You were never part of the plan, I mean, I was never supposed to meet you and fall for you but I did both of these things and now I am in all over my head and it scares the crap out of me because I am not what you need and one day you’ll realise it and you’ll leave me and I’ll be left with a broken-heart and I just can’t feel that pain again. I really needed to protect myself, that’s why I tried to run but… The pull is just too strong.” At this point, she was a mess, tears were streaming down her cheeks but she couldn’t stop talking. She needed to say it all. “These few weeks without you have been awful. I’ve missed you a lot, but it’s not just you that I’ve been missing, it’s also me, the person that I am when I am with you and _us_ , our relationship…”

“Felicity,” Oliver said, his hand falling on her shoulder. When had he gotten so close to her, she had no idea and it didn’t matter. What mattered was that he was close enough for her to touch him so she did. Slowly, almost hesitantly, she raised her hand and put it on his chest, right over the steady beat of his heart. “Felicity, look at me,” he demanded softly.

She pinched her lips together and raised her eyes to meet his. He wiped her tears away with his thumbs, cupping her cheeks in the process. “Now you listen to me, okay?” He waited for her to nod her consent before going on. “I am the only one who gets to decide what I do or don’t deserve, do you hear me? If I decide that you are what I deserve then it will be so.” He paused, his eyes roaming all over her face. “I don’t think that you realise how much I love you. And I don’t think that you realise how scared I am too. You weren’t part of my plan either.” He paused for a second, giving her a second to process his words. “My whole life, I’ve been dealing with what it meant to be a Queen and when it became too much for me, I started messing around and screwing up, big time, because I couldn’t handle my family’s name and people’s expectations. I’ve grown out of my old habits when Tommy and I opened _Verdant._ I became a businessman, a good one. I had even more money than I could use, the best friends one could ask for, a family finally proud of me, success and fame but… I was still missing something. And I only discovered what it was when I found it.”

Her brows furrowed in confusion. “I don’t understand…”

“You.” He told her. “I was missing you.” His voice was calm, there was an unwavering certainty in it, one that spread warmth inside her.

“Why?” She asked, her voice breaking because of the tears that were welling up at the corner of her eyes.

“Because you’re beautiful. Because you’re smart. Because you’re kind. Because of your smile. Because of your babbles. Because…”

“Okay, okay,” she giggled, through a few new tears. “Stop!”

“Are you sure?” He asked, his tone playful. “Because I could go on for hours listing all the reasons as to why I love you.”

“Duly noted,” she replied, winking at him.

“Good,” he replied, leaning down for a kiss. His lips pressed softly against hers and his gentleness warmed her insides. “Now one more thing. I am going to leave you, ever.”

She shook her head, her heart breaking at his words. She wanted to believe them so bad it hurt. “You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do. You said it yourself earlier: the pull is too strong. I couldn’t stay away from you even if I wanted to.”

“You say that now, but one day maybe things will change and…”

“Felicity!” He cut her off, his voice slightly raised. “For all you know, you could be the one who’d dump my sorry ass. Or I could die in a ship wreck. My point is, you don’t know what the future holds. And you can’t let that fear of the unknown rule your life.” His hands cupped her cheeks, his thumb stroking the skin softly. “I know it’s hard for you to trust people but I have no other choice but to ask you to trust me. To trust me when I tell you that I love you and that I won’t leave you.”

She opened her mouth but found it hard to let the words fell from her lips. “I am trying – me being here it’s – It’s me trying.” More tears rolled down her cheeks as she let that one confession escape her. She exposed herself to him, let him see that she was trying. But she was an emotional mess, there was no denying it, hence the tears.

Oliver nodded. His hand came up behind her neck, cradling her head toward him. “I know you’re trying. And that’s all I am asking for. Leave the rest up to me, okay?”

“I just…” Again, she struggled with her words again. “I just don’t want to get hurt again.”

That’s when he broke. One single tear rolled down his cheek and it stirred something within her. Oliver knew a little bit about her father. He knew a bit more about her college years. And he knew a lot more about Ray. He saw her pain, she would even go as far as saying that he could feel it and it did something to her. He loved her enough to cry when she was in pain.

“I won’t hurt you Felicity, I promise.”

She couldn’t say or do anything so she just stared at him, pouring everything she was feeling and thinking into her eyes.

Thank you.

I am trying.

I love you.

He got the message loud and clear and pulled her into his embrace, letting his warmth, his strength, his scent, his everything soothe her. One of his hands fell on her back and he stroked it lightly, cradling her tenderly, whispering words of comfort against the top of her head.

When her silent tears stopped flowing, he pulled away from her, his hands coming up to her cheeks. “One last thing,” Oliver said, his voice steadier now. “This situation of ours… It’s messy and complicated, I know that. But we’ll figure things out. One step at a time.” He smiled to her as she nodded before leaning down and kissing her again, his thumb wiping the last remnants of her tears away. She pulled away slowly, shaking her head.

“What?” He asked, his voice laced with desire.

“I am a mess,” she said, gesturing at her make-up stained face. Her waterproof mascara, had, unfortunately, reached its limits.

He chuckled slightly and started dropping kisses on her forehead, nose and cheeks. “I don’t care,” he whispered before meeting her lips again. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer to him. His arms opened up to welcome her and she smiled into the kiss, enjoying the feeling of having him back. God she had missed him.

He chuckled again. “I missed you too.”

She pulled back and looked right at him. “I love you,” she whispered, feeling the need to say it again, to fill the space between them with the most important words. Something lightened up in his eyes and suddenly, she was being lifted in the air. She immediately wrapped her legs around his waist, kicking off her shoes when she was settled comfortably in his embrace.

He carried her to his bedroom, his eyes solely focused on hers. The intensity in his gaze started building the tension in her body. She felt her breathing speeding up to match her heart’s crazy rhythm and her blood warmed up in her veins as her clothed core brushed against his hardening erection. When they reached his bed, he spun them around, so that when he sat down, she ended up on top of him, handing control over to her.

She took off her tank top first and his eyes darkened when he saw that she wasn’t wearing a bra underneath it. He leaned toward her, aiming at one of her nipples but she stopped him. He raised an eyebrow, surprised. She grabbed his white T-shirt and tossed it away. She then pushed on his pecs, forcing him to lie down completely. He did it effortlessly and she rolled her eyes at his other display of strength. Her hands roamed over the expanse of naked skin, not knowing where to start, wanting to touch him everywhere at the same time. She bit on her lower lips then leaned down, dropping a trail of kisses on the column of his throat. He sighed heavily, his hips bucking toward her when one of her hands fell on his side. She pressed her thighs tighter against his legs to hold him in place. Sure, he could free himself if he really wanted to but he got the silent hidden request behind her action.

Don’t move.

She kissed him and touched him everywhere, goose bumps erupting on his skin right after her lips and fingers had left. She became bolder as she teased him and grabbed his erection through his jeans and rubbed him, slowly, tentatively, until he couldn’t take it anymore and rolled them over.

He took her glasses from her nose and put them on his bedside table with one hand, his other hand too busy undressing her.

“I want you,” he whispered against her throat, kissing and nipping at her skin.

Her hands found the button and the zipper of his jeans. “I need you,” she panted.

He grunted when she released his hard cock from the confine of his clothes and pumped it once, twice with her small hand. He checked her wetness with his fingers and without preamble thrust one in her tight channel, his thumb teasing her clit. She keened, loudly, her back bowing off the bed. She let go of his length, grabbing his comforter instead.

“Oliver,” she moaned as he started working her up.

“Felicity,” he whispered back, his lips finding hers for a bruising kiss. She kissed him back with fervour, giving as much as he was, taking as much as he was. Their tongues knotted together as he added a second finger inside her. She felt her thighs clenched around him as the shots of pleasure became more intense.

She didn’t know how she did it, but she managed to grab the hand that was taking her to the edge and pulled it away from her. Oliver pulled back, surprised.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his breathing completely uneven.

She looked at him through hooded eyes. She grabbed his length and led it toward her entrance. “I just want you,” she panted when his tip bumped against her clit, sparks of pleasure shooting through her.

He reached for the bedside table. “Condom,” he growled.

She shook her head. “I am on the pill,” she told him. “And I want to feel you. All of you. Is that okay?”

He nodded firmly before his lips slanted over hers. They kissed for a while, his throbbing cock still waiting at her entrance. “It’s very okay,” he panted after pulling back.

“Good,” she said.

“Good,” he replied, brushing his nose against hers. She smiled at him and he chased her hand away from his member before taking a hold of it himself. Slowly, he pushed inside her, his eyes never leaving hers, as she took all of him inside her. It wasn’t the first time that they were doing this together but it was the first time that there was no barrier, physical or emotional, between them. For the first time, it was just them, bodies naked and souls bared, and the intensity of the moment wasn’t lost on any of them. When he was fully seated inside her, they both exhaled slowly. Oliver pulled out and pushed back in, her inner walls clenching around him, making them both moan. His hips moved leisurely at first, not really going in as deep as he could, not allowing his pelvic bone to rub against her swollen clit. This wasn’t about rushing toward their release after weeks without connecting in any way. No. This was about them, this was about their feelings.

They loved each other and for the first time they weren’t going to just have sex. They were going to make love.

Felicity’s feet fell in the crook of his knees, her legs knotting with his. Oliver settled in the cradle of her hips. He fitted there so perfectly, it kept amazing Felicity. It was like she had been made for him, and only for him. One one of his hands came up to her hair and he swiftly untied them. He spread her golden locks on the pillow and smiled at her.

“God you’re so beautiful,” he whispered, resting his forehead against hers, still deeply buried inside her.

“So are you,” she whispered back, kissing his temple tenderly.

He pulled back and thrust back in, making her gasp. He did it again, harder, earning another gasp from her. She clamped her walls on him in retaliation and he hissed. She just smirked at the incredulous look on his face. He reached for her hands then, putting them on both sides of her head. He intertwined their fingers and set a faster pace. Her grip on his fingers grew tighter as he did so and she choked on a moan when he circled his hips against hers, his pelvic bone rubbing against her clit in the most delicious way. His lips fell on hers once again, pressing chastely against her own. The tenderness in his gesture made her heart clench in her chest. But then their hunger for each other came back, stronger than ever and she opened her mouth for him, their tongues meeting in time with his thrusts. The more they went on, the sloppier their kisses got, their tongues not battling for dominance anymore but just stroking against one another.

Felicity was feeling so full, both in her core and her heart, she thought she might combust right there and then. It was too much.

“Oliver,” she moaned, wrapping her legs around his waist again, allowing him to go in deeper. They both groaned at the new sensations they were feeling at this new angle.

“Felicity,” he moaned back, dropping light kisses on the side of her jaw.

She whimpered when he let go of one of her hands to press it against her clit. She was close, she was so close but she couldn’t reach her release yet, despite all the stimulations she was getting.

“Felicity,” Oliver said again. “Come for me,” he asked softly.

She wanted nothing more than indulging him but she just couldn’t. He pressed harder on her clit and whispered in the shell of her ear.

“I love you.”

The tension inside her body snapped as waves of pleasure crashed through her, taking her over the edge right into oblivion. She screamed his name, her walls clenching around his cock, triggering his own release. He shout her name as he emptied himself inside her and both her hands came to clutch at his shoulders, holding onto him for dear life.

He collapsed on top of her and she welcomed him in her embrace, hugging him close to her.

“I love you too,” she whispered softly against his hair, her breathing still uneven, her heart still thrumming happily in her chest.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	12. July - August 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heys guys!!!!
> 
> Here's the new chapter!! I hope that you will enjoy it! It's different from the others, it's about two months and not just one. When I first wrote it, it was about four months July, August, September and October. I wanted to get over these months quickly, to get to the last part of the story, a.k.a Felicity's choice real fast. But you guys, yours reactions to this story are so amazing, you make me want to give you more than what I had originally planned to. Your responses make me so happy, it sets my imagination into overdrive and new scenes keep blossoming in my mind and I just have to add them all. So this is why I split this chapter in two parts. Here's the first one. I am really nervous about it, I am afraid of what you'll think of Ray and Felicity in this.
> 
> Anyway, I'm gonna stop my ramble here and wish you a happy reading! :)

The Polyvore sets :)

Cooking [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_11_cooking_felicity/set?id=188812294)

4th of July [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_11_4th_july_felicity/set?id=188811490) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_11_4th_july_thea/set?id=188810758) / [(Laurel)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_11_4th_july_laurel/set?id=188815210)

Phone-call [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_11_phone_call_felicity/set?id=192083987)

Pool party [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_11_dinner_pool_felicity/set?id=192081902) / [(Laurel)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapitre_11_dinner_pool_laurel/set?id=192081722)

Golfing [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_11_golfing_felicity/set?id=192038054)

 

* * *

 

 

July.

 

Felicity was cooking with Nana when Ray came home that night.

“Felicity,” he called her.

Nana and she both exchanged a surprised look after looking at the clock. Ray was rarely home this early in the afternoon.

“In the kitchen,” she yelled, her hands still kneading the pastry she had been working on.

Ray walked in and frowned when he saw her apron covered with flour. “What are you doing?”

“Baking a pie?” She said it as if it was obvious and well… it kind of was. “It’s for the picnic tomorrow.”

Ray frowned. “What picnic?”

Felicity sighed and looked down toward the pastry she had been working on, kneading it with renewed vigour. “Well, Thea Queen is leaving for Paris in three days and since we won’t see each other for a while, she asked me if I wanted to join her and a few friends for a picnic tomorrow, in Starling’s park. We’ll watch the fireworks from there,” she explained. She had already told him about all of this but as usual, he had forgotten. Who could blame him though? She had dared to bother him with something that wasn’t related to his precious company.

“Well, you can stop torturing this poor pastry. My parents invited us over to spend the 4th of July with them in the Hamptons. We’re leaving in two hours.”

Felicity stared at Nana in disbelief. The older woman just shrugged and turned around, focusing her attention on the meat and onions that were frying in a pan.

“Excuse me?” She asked, her voice unusually low because of her astonishment.

“Our plane leaves in two hours. You better go pack the things you’ll need now.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, spreading flour and butter on her apron. Her indignation was filling her veins, burning her from the inside. “Ray, you do realise that I’ve asked you multiple times what your plans were for tomorrow and each time, you brushed the topic away.”

“My parents hadn’t invited us yet. I couldn’t tell you about my plans when I had none.”

“Sure. But because you weren’t trying to make any plans with me, I took it upon myself to find something to do tomorrow. My friend invited me, I said yes and I told you about it.”

Ray frowned in confusion. “Where are you going with this?”

“To the place where I am telling you that you’ll fly to the Hamptons alone tonight. I won’t cancel my plans at the last minute.”

Ray blinked in surprise. “Excuse me?”

Felicity’s palms fell on the pastry rather abruptly, startling both Ray and Nana. “Ray, I know I am your wife but I am also a human being. I can make my own decisions and I’ve decided to go out with my friends.”

Ray frowned. “I am your husband, you should put me above anything else.”

“The same way you put me above anything else?” She asked, her eyebrow raised, her hand pushing the pastry away. Kneading it had seemed like a good way to release part of her frustration but she knew that if she kept torturing it the way she was, she would ruin it.

“Felicity, I do…”

“Oh stop!” She yelled, raising a white hand to shut him up. “I do everything you ask me to do all the damn time. I come with you to charities, to galas, to business meetings. I smile on red carpets, I repeat he speeches that are written for me and what do I get in return?” Ray opened his mouth to reply but she didn’t let him. “A husband who only comes to me when he needs me. A husband who only asks, no scratch that, a husband who only _demands_ and never gives. Well, I am tired of you never giving me anything so tonight I’ll be taking instead. Tomorrow will be about what _I_ need for a change. And what I need is not a week in the Hamptons with your family. It’s a day out with my friends.”

“Felicity…” Ray started.

“Your plane leaves in two hours,” she cut him off rather bluntly. “You better go pack the things you’ll need now,” she added, her gaze never wavering, her eyes solely focused on his.

“Felicity…” He insisted, taking a step toward her but she focused back on her pastry, grabbing a rolling pin and spreading it on the work surface in front of her.

He watched her for a minute and when he realised that she was done talking to him about this, he just walked out without a word.

“Nana, can you hand me more butter?” She asked once he was gone. “I’ll need some for the baking pan.”

 

* * *

 

Felicity was walking slowly around the crowd gathered in Starling’s park to celebrate the country’s National Day. Children were running around and their light laughter echoed deliciously in Felicity’s ear. It was a warm and beautiful day. The sun was up in the sky, shining brightly over them, making it possible for the youngest to play with water guns. The adults were watching them carefully, all standing around the picnic tables. They were talking loudly, laughing at the latest jokes while lighting up barbecues or setting the table with the plates and food they had brought.

Felicity watched them all, a happy smile lingering on her lips. She felt really light as she navigated around them, Shia next to her, a picnic basket thrown over her shoulder. It was going to be a beautiful day, she could feel it in her bones.

_“2:37 pm_

_Where R U?_

_FS”_

_\--_

_“2:40 pm_

_Near the pond._

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“2:40_

_Roy’s made a flag out of his red hoodie. You can’t miss it!_

_TQ”_

Felicity smiled at the last text from her friend. Her smile widened when she saw Roy’s red hoodie indeed hanging from a fishing rod. To her big surprise, Felicity had grown close to Thea’s boyfriend. She had met him a few times and actually really liked him, now that she was used to his very quiet and calm self. He didn’t talk much, contrary to his girlfriend who couldn’t stay quiet to save her life, but when he did, it was often to crack a good joke or impress them with his wit.

“Felicity!” Thea greeted her cheerfully when she saw her. Felicity flashed her a bright smile before hugging her tightly.

She then turned around and fell into Oliver’s embrace without thinking about it twice. Friends could greet each other with a hug, she had just done it with his sister. Except that Oliver wasn’t just hugging her, he was crushing her against his chest.

“Oliver,” she managed to say. “You’re choking me!”

“Sorry,” he said, pulling away. “I was just afraid that you wouldn’t make it.”

“Why wouldn’t she have made it?” Thea asked, her head tilted in confusion.

The both of them exchanged a weird look. “Because something came up last night,” Felicity started.

“What happened?”

“Ray wanted us to meet his parents in the Hamptons. I told him no.”

“And Ollie knows about it because?” Thea insisted, her brows furrowing.

“Because I called Felicity last night,” Oliver replied quickly. “I needed technical advice,” he added, lying perfectly. Seriously, he didn’t do even flinch or bat an eye.

“You needed technical advice?” Thea asked, staring at the both of them in disbelief.

Her brother nodded firmly. “Yes Speedy. I spilled a latte on my computer.”

“Yeah about that,” Felicity smacked his chest and he winced.

“Ouch!”

“That’s what you get when you hurt an innocent and defenceless computer!” She told him.

He smiled at her and she smiled back at him. Tommy joined them soon after. He was with his girlfriend, Laurel. Felicity had only met her once before but soon found herself talking animatedly to her. She was different from Tommy, more serious and less loud but kind and nice nonetheless.

 

* * *

 

They had a nice time all together, lightly teasing each other, talking about everything and anything, telling stories from their past. The funniest, of course, were from Oliver and Tommy. Most of them made Felicity laugh until there were tears in her eyes. She had already heard them all, courtesy of Oliver, but it was something else to hear them from them both than it was to hear them from him only.

They really had a nice time all together.

And when it was time for the fireworks, they all sat down on the grass. Thea was in Roy’s arms, Laurel in Tommy’s. Oliver and Felicity were sitting next to each other, Shia’s warm body between them. It wasn’t until the show was over that she realised they had been holding hands all along, their fingers intertwined tightly behind their backs.

 

* * *

 

Felicity got a call from Oliver four days later. Ray wasn’t back yet from his parents’ place in the Hamptons and Thea had just left to Paris with her parents.

“Hey Oliver, great minds think alike, I was thinking about calling you, y…” she was interrupted before she could finish her sentence.

 _“Oh really?”_ Someone asked, surprised. _“Interesting…”_ That definitely wasn’t Oliver’s voice.

“Tommy?” She asked, not sure that she had recognised his voice. “What a surprise,” she quickly added, a nervous laugh leaving her. Thank god, she hadn’t greeted him with a “hey baby!” or something like that. It would have been really hard to explain. Or not. She could have pretended that she thought that it was Ray. Or not. She wasn’t a particularly good liar, because of her tendency to babbly. Really, if Ray wasn’t always gone, she’d never have been able to hide her relationship with Oliver from him.

Shaking her head to get her thoughts back on track, Felicity wondered about more important things. Such as what was Tommy doing with Oliver’s phone? She was so confused, she almost missed his next reply.

 _“The best kind of surprise,”_ he joked.

Felicity chuckled, taking her sunglasses off, dropping her purse on a coffee table. “I agree. But don’t tell anyone I said that.”

_“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”_

“So, what can I do for you Mister Merlyn?” She asked, untying her hair, moving her phone to her other ear in the process.

_“Well, Laurel and I spent the day at the Queen mansion with Oliver, enjoying the pool, getting a tan... We’re about to have a barbecue and since I know that your husband is still at his parents’, I was wondering if you wanted to join us.”_

Felicity frowned. Why hadn’t Oliver called her himself? “Is that okay with Oliver?” She asked, her blood rushing to her ears. “And Laurel?” She quickly added.

_“Of course! Laurel was the one who suggested that we call you and Ollie… Well, he literally shoved his phone in my hand, your number already dialled. By the way, why are you one of his fast dial contact?”_

She heard a gasp on the other side of the line and her eyes went wide, knowing that was Oliver. She chocked on her saliva and coughed, her brain desperately trying to come up with a plausible lie. “Well, he’s been calling me every time he’s had a technical emergency. Who do you think has been fixing all the glitches in _Verdant’s_ security system and IT system in general for the past few weeks? Certainly not Oliver, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know the difference between a QWERTY and an AZERTY keyboard.”

She heard a muffled “hey” on the other side of the line and her smile grew wider. _“That was you? Wow, when Ollie said that he had found someone to help us, he didn’t mention that it was you.”_

“Yeah, I asked him too.”

_“Why?”_

“It’s complicated.” Truth was, she really had been helping _Verdant._ She could lie so openly to Tommy because she wasn’t technically lying. And she indeed hadn’t wanted to be associated with _Verdant_ because she had known that Ray wouldn’t have approved of her doing such a favour to Oliver and she just hadn’t had it in herself to fight with him over this. It was pointless to fight with someone who’d never change his mind because he thought he knew everything about everything better than anyone.

Still, she could feel Tommy’s surprise through the phone. “And about that barbecue, I just got home from a client’s house. I’ll be there in thirty, I need to shower first.” Sometimes, the best way to not stay dry was to step back from the water.

_“Okay Felicity, we’ll be waiting for you. See you later!”_

“See you later!”

She informed Nana that she was going out with a few friends for the night and that she could leave for the day. Then, she ran upstairs and took a quick shower. She put on a new dress, a light one. The heat wave announced by the weather forecast had just started and it was just unthinkable to wear something more than a simple dress and sandals in Starling these days.

 

* * *

 

She was greeted at the front door by Raisa, the Queen mansion’s housekeeper. The Russian woman led her inside the house before letting her make her way to the pool, where she could hear Tommy’s voice and Laurel’s laughter.

“Hey guys!” She said, waving a hand at them when she finally saw them. Both Tommy and Oliver were wearing swimsuits and a tee-shirt and Laurel had put on a yellow dress above her own swimsuit. They were all slightly red. They must have had one hell of a day under the sun.

“Felicity, thank god you’re here!” The other woman said. Felicity tilted her head, surprised. “They are driving me crazy,” Laurel explained, a small smile lingering on her lips, the light in her eyes telling Felicity everything she needed to know. Tommy and Oliver were being their usual funny selves.

Felicity smiled at her, nodding to show her understanding of the situation. “Well, that’s not very nice guys,” she told them.

“Not very nice? We are very nice,” Tommy said handing her a glass of wine.

“Oh thank you, that’s exactly what I need right about now,” she said, taking the glass he was so gently offering.

“See,” Tommy said, his eyes falling on his girlfriend for a second before giving Oliver a knowing smile. “I am very nice.”

“Only when you want something,” Laurel shot back, rolling her eyes.

Felicity took a sip of her drink winking at Oliver behind Tommy’s back.

“How was your day?” He asked as she sat down on an empty chair.

She shrugged. “Dark. And hot.” She saw him frown and quickly added. “I was locked up in a server’s room for most of the day so you really can’t imagine how glad I am to be here.”

Oliver chuckled. “Actually, I think I can.”

She shook her head, smiling, before turning back to look at Tommy and Laurel, who were now both sitting next to each other. “But what about you guys? How was your day?”

“Bright. And hot,” Tommy said, teasing and Felicity rolled his eyes at him. “Kidding. To be honest, we had a good day. It reminded me of how we used to spend our summers when we were in high-school. There was a pool party every Saturday evening either here or at my place or at one of our teammates place.”

Felicity knew that both Tommy and Oliver had been a part of Starling High’s basketball team. She took a sip of her wine, picturing in her head a younger Oliver and a younger Tommy throwing parties that pretty girls like Laurel would attend, wearing bikinis and being confident in their perfectly shaped bodies.

“We used to have so much fun at these parties,” Laurel said, a small smile on her lips.

“Fun?” Oliver shook his head, sitting down next to Felicity. “I remember us getting wasted most of the time. And Tommy breaking his nose because he tried to do the swan dive to impress you.”

“Summer 05,” Tommy remembered. “Pool party at Carter Bowen’s place. Thankfully, my dad knew a good plastic surgeon who made sure that my nose remained perfect,” he added, caressing his nose.

Felicity shook her head. “You guys were crazy!”

“Oh come on Felicity! I’m pretty sure that you were the crazier one,” Tommy argued. “You’re a Vegas girl, you must have some juicy stories to share from your time in the city of sins.”

“None of my stories involve pool parties with high-school friends, I am afraid,” she told him. “But what about you guys?” She asked, pointing at Tommy and Laurel. “You met in high-school? I had no idea that you had been together for so long.”

“Well, technically we haven’t,” Laurel explained. “This guy,” she pointed at Tommy, “had a crush on me in high-school. But since he was Tommy Merlyn, I just… turned him down.”

Felicity arched an eyebrow and Tommy sighed dramatically. “She turned me down. Repeatedly.  And it hurt me in my soul. So I decided to try harder.” He chuckled. “I first kissed her when we were seventeen. It was by this very pool,” he added, pointing at the Queen’s pool. “I had started a game of spin the bottle and luck was on my side because the bottle pointed at her that night, not only once but twice!”

“Spin the bottle? Really?” Felicity said, looking at him above her glasses. “That’s very fourteen years old of you Tommy.”

“I was seventeen and desperate, indulge me,” he defended himself, chuckling. “Anyway, we started dating but we parted ways when we left high-school.”

“I went to law-school and he and Oliver… They tried to go to college but unfortunately for them higher education and parties every night don’t really get along,” Laurel went on. Felicity nodded her approval, sipping on her wine. “We met again after I graduated. I came back to Starling, started working for a law firm and these two… They came to me when they decided to open their business. I gave them the number of a colleague of mine who helped them with all the legal stuff they needed to be careful with and Tommy… Tommy acted like Tommy and showed up with lunch at my office every day until I agreed to go on a real date with him. We had a second first date, a few other dates after it went perfectly and well… the rest is history.”

“Oh… That’s a beautiful story. You guys are very lucky to have found each other again.”

“That’s what I keep telling her every day,” Tommy agreed, taking Laurel’s hand.

 Silence fell upon them after that. Oliver broke it after a few seconds when he got up from his seat. “How about we start moving? That barbecue isn’t going to cook itself. Tommy, give me a hand?”

“Sure buddy!”

 

* * *

 

Tommy and Laurel left around eleven pm, leaving Oliver and Felicity alone. The air had cooled down a bit but it was still very much hot. They sat down next to the pool, glasses of wine in hands. Felicity took off her sandals and dived her feet in the water. It was cool, exactly what her tired feet needed. Oliver smiled at her toe nails, which were painted a bright green.

“So,” he started, “I’ve been meaning to ask.”

She tilted her head. “About what?”

“About your crazy Vegas stories,” he replied.

She shrugged her eyes focusing on her glass of wine. “There’s not much to say. I wasn’t really popular back in high-school. Most of my time, I spent on my computer, coding.” She looked up from her glass and saw his blue eyes give her that look, the look that reminded her of a puppy who had just been kicked. Sighing, she indulged me. “Okay, there was that one time, where I went to a casino. I can count cards you see and so I decided to go, make some money. I got caught after a few hours. They kicked me out and banished me. Thankfully, my mom was able to convince them to not call the police.”

Oliver stared at her in disbelief. “How did you get into a casino?”

“My mom bought me a fake ID.”

“Damn, I love your mom!”

Felicity chuckled. “Yeah, she is pretty cool. I love her too.” She took a sip of her wine, swinging her feet in the water.

“You don’t talk a lot about your family,” Oliver said. It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a reproach. It was a statement, plain and simple.

Again she shrugged. “There’s not much to say. My mom is… my mom. And my dad has been out of the picture for a while now.”

“You never speak of him,” Oliver noticed. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to even think about him. But I also think that it can’t do any good to keep all that to yourself so… Will you tell me about him? I guess that things weren’t always bad when he was here.”

Felicity sighed, her shoulders going limp. She was always very careful when it came to her father. It wasn’t a topic that she was comfortable talking about. Ray had never asked about him and her younger self had appreciated that he respected her boundaries. And she had eventually told him about him, when she had been ready.

Oliver, as always, was doing things differently. Oliver was asking. Oliver was pushing her. Oliver was crossing her boundaries. And he wasn’t doing it because he wanted to know. No. He was doing it because he wanted to make sure that she wasn’t bottling things up and hurting herself in the process. And that made her fall in love with him even more.

She put her glass of wine aside and took a deep breath. “Things weren’t bad when he was here. On the contrary, they were great. He was my best friend. He – he was the only one who truly understood me so when he left… I didn’t understand. Everything was so great, why would he leave? It didn’t make sense to me. It still doesn’t.” She paused. “I guess that there are things an eight-year-old can’t see. But what could I have seen anyway? He was my hero, I thought he was perfect. And mom… She never told me about their problems. I think that, deep down, she didn’t want to destroy the little good I had been left with after he… walked away.” She brushed a tear away, feeling that more were coming. “And I know for a fact that she thinks that adults’ problems shouldn’t affect children.”

“But you’re not a child anymore,” Oliver pointed out.

“That’s true. But I also don’t want to know anymore.” She sighed, feeling tears welling up at the corner of her eyes. “My dad and I, we – we were a team. We built computers together, solved advanced math problems together and watched Star Wars at least twice a month. He was my best friend,” she repeated. “And today, he could be dead and I wouldn’t even know about it,” she shook her head, chuckling bitterly.

Oliver took her hand in his and he pulled at it, until her head fell on his shoulder and he could slide his arm over hers. She rested there, letting his warmth and familiar scent comfort her. A few tears rolled down her cheeks and she closed her eyes, breathing more easily as they flew out of her eyes.

Oliver’s chuckle muffled in her hair surprised her. “What?” She asked.

“I am just trying to picture eight-year-old you wearing bright pink overalls, your hair done into pigtails, big black square glasses on the top of your nose and a tooth or two missing, solving advanced math problem.”

A chuckled escaped her lips before she could take it back. “Oh my god, have you been in contact with my mother? Did she send you pictures of me?”

She felt him shake his head so she pulled away from him, wiping her tears away. “I am afraid I haven’t had the pleasure to speak with Donna Smoak. Yet.”

She huffed back a laugh before leaning down and kissing him tenderly. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“You’re welcome,” he replied, pecking her lips once, twice before parting ways with her. “So, if I got everything well, you’ve never been to a pool party, right?”

She nodded. “Where are you going this?”

“In the pool!”

Before she could fully realise what he was saying, he was pulling on her hands, taking her with him in the pool.

She broke the surface with a gasp, pulling her hair out of her face, gobsmacked. Oliver was grinning widely, his body looking ridiculously attractive as he was dripping wet, his tee-shirt clinging to his muscles.

“Oliver Jonas Queen,” she said, pointing a threatening index finger at him. “You are a dead man.” She splashed him, hard and his hands just grabbed her wrists, efficiently stopping her assault.

“Don’t tell me that you haven’t been thinking of going for a dip.”

“I haven’t actually,” she lied, because yes, she had thought of having a quick dip. The Queen’s pool was amazing and she loved swimming. “I don’t have spare clothes. I don’t even have a swimsuit.”

“You don’t need either for a midnight bath,” he told her, taking off his shirt and tossing it away. It landed with a thud on the pool’s edge.

“It’s not midnight yet,” she shot back, still pouting.

“I am sure that we can find something to do until midnight.” He paused, leaning down toward her and pressing kisses against her jaw and the column of her throat. Her body instantly melted into his, erasing her resentment. “Besides it’s not like you can go anywhere else. You drank tonight, it’s not safe to take the wheel.”

“So it’s not okay for me to drive, but it’s okay for you to take advantage of me and my full of wine system?” She asked, an eyebrow arched.

He didn’t reply right away. Instead, he reached for the hem of her dress under the water and he lifted it, getting her rid of the offending piece of garment. His eyes darkened appreciatively when he saw that she hadn’t been wearing a bra underneath it. He leaned down again and nipped at her throat, soothing the sting of the bite with his tongue. She moaned, loudly, her hands coming up to his head, to keep him there. He put her hands away and made his way down her throat to her chest then to her breast. He took one hardened nipple into his mouth, one of his hands grasping her other one, kneading it lightly. She moaned again, biting her lip to keep the sound from echoing in the night. Oliver made his way up her body again, his lips landing on her earlobe.

“I am not taking advantage of you,” he whispered against her skin, his hands coming up under her ass to lift her up and pull her against his hardening erection. She gasped when her naked and sensitive breast brushed against the hard lines of his chest. “I am simply taking care of your hangover before it’s even here.”

That made her laugh and he swallowed her laughter with his mouth, sealing their lips in a searing kiss.

 

* * *

* * *

 

August.

August sucked.          

It sucked from day one to day thirty-one.

It really really _really_ sucked.

Felicity didn’t see Oliver at all. Their schedule just didn’t give them time to meet. Long gone were the lazy days of July that had been spent together, lying between the cool sheets of his bed, making love to each other until the heat became so unbearable they couldn’t even stand the lightest touch. Long gone were the evenings of July spent eating take-out on his couch, rewatching old TV-shows. Long gone were the happy times of the beginning of the summer.

Instead, the busy schedules came in turning their lives into a logistical nightmare. Oliver left town for Coast City for two weeks and when he came back, it was Felicity who went away, leaving for a vacation with Ray, in a private club were most of his investors were spending their vacation as well.

It really, really, _really_ sucked.

And the fact that things with Ray were tense didn’t do anything to make things better.

He still hadn’t forgiven her for what had happened in July. She still hadn’t forgiven him either, so that made them even.

She really wanted to divorce him. She was considering calling Laurel, for advice. She was a lawyer after all. But then, she remembered what Gemma had told her during Thanksgiving.

_“You don’t divorce your husband.”_

Ray’s mother had never gotten a divorce. She didn’t know how they had managed to make her stay, but they had. What if they did the same thing to her too? She’d have to be strong, to resist to the pressure that would be coming from everywhere, from everyone. She’d have to be a fighter again. And the truth was that she hadn’t been one for so long, she doubted she still had it in herself to fight, especially if her husband was going to play dirty.

The irony of her situation wasn’t lost on her. For a very long while, she had feared that her boyfriend, who had become her husband, would leave her, like all the men in her life had done it before.

She had never thought that she’d be the one wanting to leave in the end.

 

* * *

 

Ray and Felicity spent their two weeks of vacation together in some sort of country club full of business partners. Felicity spent two weeks pretending that she was happy, doing small-talks and faking smiles while her husband kept on wooing everyone around him. She spent two weeks surrounded by people who didn’t know a single thing about her real self.

Around the middle of their stay, they were invited to play golf with one of his father’s old friend. They had met in college and Ray maintained a cordial relationship with him because he was getting into politics and his political program for the state would benefit big companies such as Palmer Technologies.

Felicity loathed golf. She wasn’t really into sports and the mere thought of spending three hours outside with people who would only use doublespeak was making her want to gauge her eyes out.

“Felicity, are you coming?” Ray asked.

She shuffled downstairs to meet him.

“Why aren’t you dressed? We’re supposed to meet them in twenty minutes.”

“I don’t really feel like coming. Would you mind if I stayed home?”

He frowned. “Of course, we’ve both been invited. What will they think if I come alone?”

She frowned taken aback. Really? That was what he was going with? “Well, you could just tell them that I have a headache or something… You know I don’t like golfing.”

“You want me to lie to them?”

“Yes, it’s really no big deal! Besides, why do you need me? You know I am not into politics.”

“You have to come with me Felicity.”

She shook her head and crossed her arms. “I don’t have to come with you.”

“Yes, you do!” He shout, flashes of anger crossing his eyes. “Don’t you dare do that to me again! I let it go in July because I knew my parents wouldn’t say anything but I certainly won’t now. I won’t let you make me look like a fool again.”

She stared at him her eyes wide open. “Come on Ray, you’re not going to look like a fool if your wife doesn’t show up with you at game.”

“Well, if it’s just a game, I’m sure that my wife won’t mind showing up with me and support me the way she is supposed to.”

And on these words, he turned his back on her. He stopped at the door. “I’ll be waiting for you in the car.”

 

* * *

 

When they came back home, Felicity headed straight for their bedroom. She grabbed her clothes in the closet and then walked toward one of the spare bedroom of the house they were renting. Once she was inside, she threw her clothes in the closet, slamming the door violently.

“What are you doing?” Ray asked, sounding utterly confused.

“You don’t think that I am going to sleep in the same bed as you tonight, do you?”

He frowned. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“Because I am mad at you. Beyond. You do not respect me, you do not take what I want into account so no, tonight, I won’t lie next to you and sleep beside you.”

“Well,” Ray said, staring down at her. “Do what you want. This is as far away as you can get from me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked, turning around to face him, her eyebrows furrowed.

“That you are my wife Felicity and that you are meant to stay beside me.”

“Well, what if I don’t want to anymore?”

He grinned at her but it lacked any warmth. There was a light in his eyes, something dark and heavy that made her swallow heavily. She took a step back. She wasn’t afraid of him, she knew he’d never do something as much as hurting her – physically at least. But still, she felt threatened by his shadow, by his way of hovering over her.

“What’s wrong with you Felicity? You’ve changed so much over the last few months, I don’t recognise you anymore. You used to love attending galas and charities with me, coming to PT and working with me. You used to be my partner in life. But now, you don’t anymore. Why did you change so much? What happened?”

She closed her eyes getting a grip on her feelings, which were a huge emotional mess at this very moment. She wasn’t going to let him get inside her head and twist things so that she’d feel guilty.

“I am not the one who changed,” she shot back, her heart picking up in her chest. “Or if I did, it’s because _you_ changed first.”

“No, I didn’t change. You _changed_. Just because you didn’t want to go live in Starling, you started pulling away from me, from us.” He sighed, looking down toward his hand. “But I guess that it’s easier for you to blame me for something that _you_ started.”

She felt her shoulders go limp and her heart shrink in her chest at his words. She shook her head, denying everything, both physically and mentally. He was wrong. She hadn’t started anything. He had. She was not the one who had pulled away. At least, not at the beginning.

“And now that you’re happy in Starling,” Ray went on, “now that you’ve made new friends, friends who are the children of _my_ business partner by the way, now that you’re good again, are you coming back to me? No. Even worse, whenever I ask you something, whenever I ask you to help me, _your husband_ , you don’t want to.” He shook his head, looking disappointed. “I am going to meet Mr. Callaway and his wife for dinner. You can stay here if you wish.” He paused at the door. “What you’re saying makes me realise that you may be considering getting out of this marriage. Get all of those ideas out of your head. You’re my wife and therefore you shall remain by my side.”

“That’s not how this works,” she eventually said, her throat tight with emotions.

“In a world where lots of judges are my friends, where I have money, where I am at the top of technology and where my reputation is immaculate, yes it does,” he stated coldly.

And before she could say anything else, he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

She let out a trembling breath once he was gone. A sob wracked her body and she brought her shaking hands to her lips to muffle herself. She didn’t want him to hear her cry.

She waited until she heard the front door open up and close before blindly reaching out for her phone, tears freely rolling down her cheeks now.

 _“Felicity hey!”_ Oliver’s voice greeted her. She didn’t say anything, the words stuck in her throat by her tears. _“Felicity? Are you there?”_ Again, she opened her mouth to speak but her voice failed her. _“Felicity, are you okay? I know you’re here, I can hear you breathing. Is everything okay?”_

“Yeah,” she managed to say, her voice cracking. “I am okay, don’t worry.”

He immediately called her bluff. _“No, you’re not_.”

“Yes, I am. I just – I just,” she hesitated, her voice shaking slightly as she struggled to get her emotions back under her control. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”

 _“Felicity no, I can feel that something’s wrong.”_ He paused for a second, probably to give her some time to talk. _“Baby, please, tell me what happened!”_

“Nothing, really, it’s okay. I – I just wanted to hear your voice,” she repeated, already feeling better now that she could hear him breathe through the phone. “I miss you,” she confessed quietly.

She heard him take a deep breath and she knew he was trying to get a hold on his emotions as well. _“I miss you too,”_ he said. _“But don’t worry, we’ll see each other very soon. As soon as you’re back if you want to. We’ll order some food from that place you like down the street behind my apartment.”_

She laughed through her tears. “You hate that place,” she reminded him.

 _“Yes, but I love you,”_ he told her. _“And I love you enough to eat very unhealthy food.”_

“You really know your way to my heart Mr. Queen,” she said, wiping her tears away.

_“And we’ll have mint-chip ice-cream for desert, okay?”_

“Mint-chip _and_ cookie dough,” she requested.

 _“Sold!”_ He accepted. There was some noise from his side of the line. She recognised Tommy calling his name. _“I am sorry I have to go. Tommy needs me to go to Verdant II. Talk to you later?”_

“Sure,” she agreed. “I love you.”

“Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	13. September - October 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!! Here's the new chapter :)
> 
> As promised, I am hurrying up the publishing process of And I wonder because it's already completed, that I am on vacation and that I'd like to focus back on Star-Crossed (my other fic) which I can't do when I literally cannot stop thinking about this story! I haven't replied to the comments on the last chapter, I will do it later or tomorrow (probably tomorrow because I had the wonderful idea to drink a lot of wine tonight while out with my family and my head is just not in the game. I hope that the editing process wasn't jeopardised).  
> Anyway, thank you very much, for everything.
> 
> Happy reading! :)

As usual, the Polyvore sets for the chapter:

 

It's been  a year [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_12_its_been_year/set?id=188825427)

The day after [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_12_morning_after_thea/set?id=188848103) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_12_morning_after_felicity/set?id=188847543)

Sick [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_12_sick_felicity/set?id=188923657) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_12_sick_thea/set?id=188923983)

Lunch date [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_12_dinner_felicity/set?id=191081156)

* * *

 

September.

 

She didn’t expect the look of surprise on Oliver’s face when he opened the door.

She frowned in response. “Don’t tell me you forget!”

“Forget what?” He asked, stepping aside to let her in.

Her frown deepened. She pointed at her outfit. “You don’t remember that?” She asked, keeping from chewing on her lips, because she didn’t want to ruin her lipstick.

He screwed up his eyes, staring at her red dress intensely. He shook his head no.

“You have to be kidding me!” She said, crossing her arms over her chest, already starting to pout. “You really don’t know what day it is?”

Again, he shook his head no. And that annoyed her.

“I can’t believe that you forget!” She finally let out, her loud voice echoing against the walls of his apartment. “I didn’t forget! I even took out the clothes I was wearing that very day, thinking that you’d appreciate the gesture. And you haven’t just forgotten about the clothes I wore, you’ve also completely forgotten about the day in itself. Did it mean so little to you that you thought it would be okay to completely forget about it? And where are you going? Oliver Jonas Queen, I am not done talking!”

He leaned over his couch and grabbed a bouquet of pink peonies, his eyes sparkling brightly. She words got caught in her throat when she saw the flowers and a smile tugged at her lips. She reached out for the flowers and shook her head, chuckling lightly, at the sight of the red card attached to them.

“I didn’t forget what day it is,” he told her, leaning down to kiss her lips. “Sorry they’re not red, but I was more in mood for pink.”

“I love pink,” she said, kissing him back.                                    

She didn’t deepen the kiss, although she was dying to, because she was too busy opening the red card.

_“It’s been a year…_

_Love you,_

_OQ”_

“Aw!” She said, her cheeks reddening. “I love you too,” she replied, pecking his lips tenderly.

“And for the record,” he managed to say between two kisses, “I do appreciate the gesture. You look amazing in that dress. I thought so when I first saw you at QC that day.”

She giggled happily. “Oh really?”

“Yeah really. But now I know that you look even more amazing out of it so…”

“So what?”

He didn’t reply to her and just took her coat off of her. She stepped out of her heels and dropped her bag on the floor. He took her hand and led her toward his bathroom, her bare feet making no noise at all on the cold tiles.

They walked in the bathroom and her heart melted in her chest when she saw that he had gotten a bath ready for them. He had even put her favourite bath salts in the tub, rosy bubbles hiding the water from their sight. He had lighted up candles on the large rims of the tub, giving the room a more intimate atmosphere.

“You really hadn’t forgotten?” She asked, smiling at the sight of a bottle of champagne and two flutes on a small stool.

He shook his head. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I wanted to do something special, you know, mark the occasion.” She nodded, understanding what he meant. She had wanted to mark the occasion too. They had met a year ago. Their lives had changed a year ago, for better or for worse, they didn’t know yet. The jury was still out on that one.

Oliver came up behind her and tugged at the zipper of her dress, slowly lowering it down, revealing the set of lacy lingerie she had put on for the occasion.

“Pretty sure you weren’t wearing these the day we met,” he whispered, his fingers hooking in her panties and dragging them down her legs slowly, his lips following the path of his fingers.

“You’re right. That’s a 2016 upgrade,” she panted when he cupped her core rather roughly, with no warming. She stepped out of her lacy thong and turned around, meeting his darkened eyes. He clearly appreciated the sight of her breast cladded in bright red lace.

“Still thinking that I look better out of my dress Mr. Queen?” She teased.

He gulped, nodding firmly. He deftly unhooked her bra, baring her completely. He took her in, humming in appreciation and she didn’t blush. On the contrary, she felt sexy and confident. “Your front?” He said. “Perfect. Your profile? Gorgeous. Your back? To die for.”

She leaned forward, burying her face in his chest to hide her embarrassment. “I can’t believe you remember this…”

“I will never forget about it. That’s when I fell in love with you.”

“Oh so you the real reason why you fell in love with me is because I found you attractive and couldn’t keep it for myself?”

He shook his head, smiling at her happily. She smiled back at him, rising on her toes to kiss him. He was still fully clothed, and it was a great injustice, so she helped him get rid of his clothes quickly. Her eyes roamed over his perfectly shaped body and she wondered in amazement when she had gotten that lucky. Because he was hers. He was all hers and it was one of the best feeling in the world.

He sat down first in the tub. She joined him soon after, revelling in the feeling of the warm water against her skin. She settled between his legs and leaned down naturally against his hard chest, not giving it much thought. She never did when it came to him. Because everything, even the most intimate things, felt natural and right between them.

They clinked their glasses to them, to another year and drank the sparkling drink, talking and exchanging lazy kisses as they did so.

“I’ve got another present for you,” he whispered in the shell of her ear as he set his glass back on the edge of the tub.

She tilted her head, frowning. “Oliver…”

“Wait a second before you start protesting and saying that I shouldn’t have,” he pulled her away from him and leaned over the tub, water dripping from his arm, wetting their clothes. He grabbed his jeans and rummaged through his pocket. Soon, he got a small box out. It was black, with a green ribbon around it.

“What’s that?” She asked as soon as they were settled back comfortably in the tub.

“Open it.”

She did as she was told and gasped when she saw what was inside the box. A key. And she didn’t have to ask which door it opened. She already knew.

“Oliver!” She yelped, and part of her brain thought that she should be embarrassed but the biggest part of it told her to just freak out. Which she did, her breathing becoming suddenly uneven, her heart speeding up in her chest. She felt him tense up behind her at her change of demeanour. “I can’t accept it…” She said, closing the box.

“Yes you can,” he assured her, his big hands coming up to rest on her own. “I want you to have it.”

“But…” She tried to protest.

“But what? You already knew where I was hiding the key, you’ve even used it a few times. It’s practically yours already.”

She remained silent for a second, feeling like he was giving her more than just a key to his apartment. “Are you sure?” She eventually asked.

“Very sure. I love you and I want you to have a key to my apartment. So that you can come over whenever you want.”

She nodded slowly, not trusting her voice at the moment. She turned her head slightly and kissed him soundly, pouring all the things she couldn’t voice in that one searing kiss that was all teeth and lips.

 

* * *

 

They stayed in the tub until they both had pruned feet. Then, they thought that maybe it was time to actually get cleaned and then out. Oliver grabbed a bath puff and used it to rub Felicity’s back. She arched into his touch, the memory of him painting her body at some rave not so long ago clear in her head.

“Oliver,” she panted, when his hand passed the curve of her ass. His lips fell on her neck, nipping at her soft skin, as his free hand spread her legs as much as the tub’s size allowed it. He stroked her thighs, teasing the skin that was still under the water and her hands shot up to grip the edge of the tub. “We need to get out,” she whispered as her breast started to feel really heavy. His other hand ended up on one of her hard nipples, the bath puff completely forgotten. She could feel his member, hard against her back and that made her gasp.

She wanted him. Immediately. They needed to get out. Immediately.

“We are,” he whispered back, nipping at the column of her throat and soothing the sting of the bite with his tongue. “We are,” he repeated, his hand underwater coming closer to where she wanted him while his other one was toying with her pebbled nipple.

“Stop teasing,” she panted, when he finally grazed his nail against her sensitive nub.

His lips fell on her collarbone and she instinctively rested her head on his shoulder, exposing more of her creamy skin to his demanding lips. She shivered when his rasp stubble brushed against the cooler skin of her shoulders and she whimpered when his hand finally reached her now throbbing core under the water. He teased her folds open and she bucked against his hand, seeking more. He indulged her and inserted a finger inside her, making her release a deep sigh of pleasure. For a second, she fell limp against his hard muscled chest. But then, the hand playing with her nipple decided that her other one deserved some attention as well jolting her back alive. He started pumping his finger in and out of her, building up a steady rhythm, pressing hard against her clit every time his calloused digit went back in. She cried out loud every time his thumb pressed against her clit each time a bit louder. The sensations were much more intense because of the movement of the water against her sensitive core. Sparks of pleasure were shooting through her, feeding the fire that had started inside her when she had first seen him that day.

He bit her shoulder a bit harder and she cried out louder than before, the pained pleasure heading straight to her already very stimulated centre. She moaned when both his thumbs circled her nipple and her clit at the same time and he angled her head toward him, swallowing her moans and cries of pleasure. His tongue delved into her mouth, immediately stroking against hers, just like his finger was stroking her inner walls.

When he added another finger inside her, her grip on the rim became so tight, her fingers turned white. Her lungs were on fire, the need for air intense, but she found herself unable to pull away from him. She needed to keep kissing him, to stay connected to him, in every physical way possible in that moment. His hand on her breast was now alternating between her two nipples and his other hand sped up, thrusting into her more roughly, hitting all her right spots, rushing her toward her release.

His tongue left hers and he lowered his lips, catching her lower one and sucking on it, hard. His fingers curled up inside her and she came undone in his arms, with a shout of his name. He rode her through her orgasm, still pumping his fingers in and out of her. When she felt the familiar pull tighten inside her belly again, she pushed his hand away.

“Too much,” she panted, breathing heavily.

He chuckled softly, his lips lavishing kisses every inch of skin near their reach.

He disentangled himself from her to get out of the tub before scooping her up in his arms. She immediately wrapped her legs around his waist, whimpering when her still very sensitive folds rubbed against his hard length. He carried her toward his bedroom and deposited her carefully on his bed, before blanketing her completely.

His lips slanted over hers and for a while, it was just that. Four hands touching, caressing, awakening. Two bodies rubbing against each other. Two people kissing deeply, lovingly.

But then, Felicity decided that she had had enough. She took him by surprise and rolled them over. She ended up straddling his thighs, her core spreading her wetness on his burning skin. She revelled for a second in the delicious friction, feeling his darkened eyes heavy on her. Then she gripped his hard cock at the base and ran her fingers along the skin, teasing him lightly.

“Felicity,” he moaned, his hands coming to hold her hips.

She reached the tip of his cock and spread the precum that was already there with her thumb, making his hips buck up in her hand. She put her free hand on his hard abs, to keep him in place. She then leaned down and kissed his long shaft, from the tip to the base and she swore she felt him swell bigger against her lips. She gripped again, squeezing and he hissed.

“Felicity please…”

She pumped him, slowly, tentatively, teasing him the way he always teased her. The faster her hand moved, the more his breathing became heavier. When his hands started holding her hips tighter, she knew he was close. She lowered herself, opening her mouth to take him in but one of his hands shoot up to stop her. She raised her head, her eyebrows raised in question.

“I want to come inside you,” he told her with his low bedroom voice, making her inner walls clench.

“I want you to come inside me too,” she confessed.

He nodded his approval, watching her through hooded eyes, as she raised herself up above his cock and slowly lowered herself down, taking him all in. She stayed there for a second, revelling in the feeling of him filling her so completely, stretching her in the best way possible. But suddenly, she felt the need to move, the need to feel more. She put on her hands on his chest, to use it for leverage. His hands on her hips guided her movements, lifting her up, helping her sink back in. He was holding her so tightly she knew she’d have bruises with the shape of his fingers on her skin but she couldn’t bring herself to care. This, right now, was all she could care. He was all she cared about.

Together, they built a rhythm that brought them to the edge. They fell over the precipice in synch, their names falling from each other’s lips as well.

 

* * *

 

When Felicity woke up the next morning, she felt incredibly good. She was lying down on a soft mattress, a firm pillow under her head and silky sheets covering her naked body. Her legs were tangled with warmer ones and a strong arm was wrapped around her waist, holding her tightly against a very hot and very naked body. Her back was pressed against a hard chest, and a head was buried in her neck. She could feel the light caress of a regular breath in her hair and the tingle of a raspy scruff against her skin.

She knew that body. She knew that chest. She knew that raspy scruff.

Oliver.

She tensed up immediately, her eyes flying open as she took her surrounding in. She could see a dimmed ray of light coming through the curtains of Oliver’s room.

Frack!

She raised her eyes toward the clock on his bedside table.

9:26am.

She had slept over.

She had _never_ slept over.

At least, she had never slept over _before_. Because now, she most definitely had.

She felt Oliver shifted against her, adjusting his hold on her, his hand sprawled out on her stomach tightening. He let out a small breath of satisfaction once he was settled again and she rolled her eyes.

Oliver Queen was a cuddler in his sleep. Of course he was. He was already a cuddler when he was awake, so really, she wasn’t that surprised that he also was one when he was sleeping.

Her heart started racing in her chest, panic flooding her veins, her happiness from before gone.

9:27 am.

The red numbers seemed to be mocking her as they glowed brightly in the semi-darkness of Oliver’s bedroom.

She had slept over. They had fallen asleep.

That was bad. No scratch that. That was _really_ bad.

She had never slept over at his place. Never ever. She had a husband to come to and that even if said-husband was coming back home even later than her most of the time and even if she wasn’t sharing a room anymore with said-husband. Even when Ray was out of the city, she never slept over. They couldn’t take the risk to have her get caught by anyone walking out of his apartment in the morning.

They had always found a way to sneak around.

Until the night before.

She closed her eyes, trying to remember what had happened.

Nothing bad happened. Everything had just been pretty intense the night before. She recalled them having sex and then eating a bit before making love tenderly, celebrating properly the anniversary of the day they had first met, if the soreness between her legs and the deep satisfaction in her belly were anything to go with. Sighing, she remembered pretty vividly how she had closed her eyes after they were done with their second round and her fourth orgasm. She had closed them just for a second, just to gather up her strength.

She hadn’t opened them again until the morning.

“Oliver wake up,” she told him urgently, nudging him.

“Hm…” He moaned, burying his face in the crook of her neck even deeper, his body melting into hers.

“Oliver please,” she repeated, nudging him again, harder. She could hear her own desperation and worry in her voice.

“Don’t wanna,” he protested, pressing a clumsy kiss on her skin.

“Oliver, _please_ , we fell asleep!” She insisted, louder.

His eyes opened at her worried tone and she turned to see him furrow his brow when he caught the dimmed ray of lights coming through the curtains.

“What the…?” He started.

She disentangled herself from him and bolted out of the bed. She reached for the discarded T-shirt she had worn when they had gotten up after their first round and put it on. She then started to look for her phone, rummaging through her purse until she found it.

“Oh shit…” She whispered. She had a few missed calls, all from Thea and two from Ray.

_“12:37 pm_

_Just got home. Nana left a note saying that you’re spending the night with Thea and Roy. You could have warned me!”_

_RP”_

_\--_

_“12:48 pm_

_Your husband texted me. Apparently, you’re supposed to be with me._

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“12:51 pm_

_Tried to call you. Where R U?_

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“12:54 pm_

_Funny Ollie’s not picking his phone either._

_And Tommy says that he asked for a night off at_ Verdant.

_TQ”_

_\--_

_“12:57 pm_

_I told your husband that you had passed from exhaustion on my boyfriend’s couch and that was why you weren’t replying to his calls & texts._

_TQ”_

_\--_

_12:57 pm_

_Oh and BTW the both of you owe me…_

_TQ”_

_\--_

_12:58 pm_

_BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_TQ”_

_\--_

 “What’s going on?” Oliver asked, putting back on his previously discarded boxer briefs.

“Thea… She… Oh my god,” she bite on her lips, not able to wrap up her mind around what she had just read.

“Thea what?” Oliver insisted, his worry increasing.

“She knows,” she confessed, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

She was sure that he wouldn’t have looked at her any differently if she had told him that unicorns were real. “She what?”

“She knows!” She repeated, louder before shoving her phone in his hand. She got up and started pacing in his room. She was completely freaking out. Thea knew. She knew about them, she had even lied to her husband for them…

“Oh my god, this is a disaster,” she whispered.

Oliver got on his feet and his hands ended on her shoulders. “Felicity don’t worry, we’re going to figure this out.”

“Figure out what? She knows Oliver! She freaking knows and…”

She was interrupted by a loud knock on the door.

She glanced up at him, panic filling her eyes, her breath catching up in her throat. “Stay here, I’ll be right back,” he told her.

He grabbed a T-shirt in his drawer and put it on.

“And don’t do anything stupid while I am gone, like leaving by the window. It’s the top floor of the building and you’re afraid of heights.”

She nodded, because she was freaking out so much the idea to do just that had actually crossed her mind. She heard him walk to the door, open it and then...

“The two of you had a lot of explaining to do,” Thea’s cold voice said as she walked in. “Give her this. I thought it’s be weird if she showed up at her house wearing the same clothes that she did yesterday, especially if her night out was “planned”.” Felicity winced when she heard her say the word “planned”. It was full of pain and disappointment. “Go get dressed,” Thea went on. “I’ll make us some coffee.”

 

* * *

 

Thea was wearing a shirt with a cloud puking a rainbow. So obviously, she wasn’t that mad. No one could wear that kind of top and be mad. That was impossible.

Except she really did look mad. She was staring at them, her eyes filled with a mix of anger, confusion, disappointment, astonishment and more anger and disappointment.

“I don’t even know where to start…” She sighed, pushing her cup of coffee away, intertwining her fingers together.

“It’s not what you think,” Oliver said, leaning down toward her.

“That depends on whether or not you think that I think that the two of you are screwing...” She crossed her arms over her chest, rolling her eyes. “Really Ollie? I thought that after the fiasco that followed the whole “I sleep with Max Fuller’s fiancée just before their wedding” thing, you’d have known better than going after a married woman.”

Felicity winced at that and she felt Oliver tense up next to her. She took his hand underneath the table and squeezed it softly.

“It really is not what you think Thea,” she said. “I… We… We’re not just _screwing_.” She made a face when she said the word, because it just sounded so so wrong. Screwing was not them. Whispered words of love and very hot sex was.

Oliver nodded his approval. “I love her.”

She smiled at the words. She would never get tired of hearing them. “And I love him.”

Thea sighed, pinching her nose. “How long has this been going on?”

Oliver and Felicity both exchanged a look. “It started at the rave,” she eventually confessed. She didn’t feel as ashamed as she thought she would when she said the words out loud. She wasn’t going to be ashamed of her relationship. Yes, it hadn’t started in a very ideal way but still. It felt right and that was everything that mattered.

“That’s why you left so quickly?” Thea said. “You weren’t sick?”

Felicity shook her head, her cheeks reddening. She wasn’t ashamed of her relationship with Oliver but she felt guilty for lying to one of her closest friend. “No I wasn’t. I am sorry, I lied to you about it, I just…” Her voice failed her then.

“So it’s been going on for six months?” Thea asked, counting on her fingers and looking a bit disappointed. Why the hell was she looking so disappointed?

“Technically, we first kissed at mom and dad’s Christmas party,” Oliver added.

She hadn’t expected Thea’s reaction. A smile tugged at her lips and her disappointment was replaced with a proud satisfaction. She then smugly claimed. “I knew it! I mean, I didn’t know it for sure but I definitely suspected that something was going on back then.” She hesitated, playing with the spoon in her cup of coffee. “I saw it all. The way you two looked at each other, the way you talked or danced together… I saw it all but I refused to acknowledge it.” She took a sip of her coffee. “I am not judging you, I don’t know anything about what happened between the two of you, or what’s still happening, but I’d like to ask you both a question.”

“Go ahead,” Oliver said.

“Where are you two going with this?”

They both looked at each other, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

Because that was the question, wasn’t it?

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

October 2016.

 

They talked about it.

Felicity told Oliver she was considering asking for a divorce. He didn’t pressure her into doing anything she didn’t feel ready to do, just telling her that he’d be there to support her whenever she felt ready.

The truth was, Felicity was ready to ask for divorce. She no longer felt attached to her husband in any way. They were just two strangers, barely living under the same roof but still married in the eye of the law. She was ready to leave Ray, the man. She just wasn’t ready to leave Ray, the CEO.

She knew, deep down, that if she asked for a divorce, he wouldn’t let her go easily. They had worked so hard to look like the golden power couple of the tech world, she knew he’d never want her to go. He needed her, the awe, respect and admiration, they inspired together as a couple. He had rebuilt his company on their reputation, using her to charm his investors and woo their wives. She had been okay with it, at first. But then, their life had turned into an endless PR’s speech and she had realised that she had lost herself in their relationship.

Thankfully, she had met Oliver. She had found herself again, thanks to him. He had helped her gain her confidence back and whenever she was in his arms, she found herself not being afraid of him leaving her. He had built up her trust, not only in herself, but in men and love as well and that was the best feeling in the world. She wasn’t all healed. She knew she still had a long way to go and that she’d never be completely whole again. But Oliver made her feel like she could get pretty damn close. But despite that, she didn’t want to divorce Ray for him. She wanted to do it for herself. She wanted to regain her freedom, and then she would use it the way she wanted. And that way, of course, would involve one really charming Oliver Queen.

Oliver and she had talked a lot about what would happen after she asked for a divorce. Ray wouldn’t let her go easily, she knew that. He’d threaten her and she’d have to resist and even fight back. Ray had helped her start her business as a free consultant at the beginning of their relationship. He had introduced her to people, gave her money… She had accepted it all, knowing that she’d repay her debt somehow. She had given him his money back, yes, but he could still make her lose her job. One word from him and her reputation could be ruined, or at least seriously stained. What had happened at the prize giving had been a perfect example of that. He had only said a few words about her and her trouble at work and the rumour had spread instantly. She knew he could hurt her if he tried and she knew he’d count on her fear of losing her job to make her stay. She knew that she’d have to be strong, to stand firm on her positions. They had been close when they had been younger, he used to know her very intimately. He’d probably tried to use all the things she had told her about him against her. Including her bad frequentations when she had started to go to college. She knew it was a low blow but she also knew that he wouldn’t go for anything.

And when he’d accept the divorce, she knew he’d do his very best to delay everything. She knew he’d fight with her over her every single detail, making her pay for leaving him. She knew he was going to put up a fight that would suck up all her strengths. She had to be ready before she started anything otherwise she’d lost her mind all over again.

And unfortunately, she knew that Oliver's support would have to remain behind closed doors for a long while. They couldn't become a public item before she was divorced and some time had passed after her divorce. An affair such as theirs would do some serious damage to both their business and to their families. As much as they thought that their relationship was only their business, they both knew it wasn't. They both were public figures among Starling's elite. Their love affair would be one hell of a juicy story to cover. Journalists always enjoyed tearing forbidden lovers apart turning them into bad people. Felicity knew that cheating wasn't good but she wasn't doing it to hurt Ray. She was doing it because it made her feel good. Unfortunately, journalists didn't care. So, really they'd have to remain a secret for a very long while.

She really didn't like it but there was no other choice.

Oliver and she talked a lot about all that until the end of September and the beginning of October. They also talked a lot with Thea.

The young Queen had promised to keep their secret. They had spent some time with her, talking to her, trying to make her understand what it was that was between them. She tried to get it, really, but it wasn’t easy to explain love, much less to understand it. She was a bit cold with them at first. She had suspected her relationship, yes, and had been glad to see her suspicions confirmed but it did nothing to the fact that Thea was a sister who loved her brother dearly and ultimately wanted what was best for her brother. Clearly a married woman wasn’t it. It took the siblings some alone time for her to warm up to the idea of Felicity being the woman that Oliver loved. Then, it was up to Felicity to talk to her, to tell her things about her, about Ray and their relationship.

She didn’t try to make it look like it was all Ray’s fault and that he was a terrible husband – although he really wasn’t a good one – who didn’t care about his wife. She did none of that because it wasn’t something she was comfortable talking with someone that wasn’t Oliver. Instead, she told Thea that Ray was just a man with priorities different from hers that they had both taken different paths that had taken them far away from each other. Thea had listened to her and nodded softly at her words. It took her some time to process it all, but eventually she got it. Now they were slowly filling the void that had been created in their friendship. It’d take time, but Felicity had plenty.

 

* * *

 

Felicity got a small cold at the very beginning of October and whenever people voiced their concern for her and asked her to slow down, she told them that she was fine. A small cold was nothing she couldn’t handle after all.

But then the pain in her ear and throat started, the fever stroke, and she soon found herself under bed rest with more antibiotics to take than she was comfortable with and more boxes of tissues than she could count.

Ray was out of town, again, and she didn’t bother calling him to tell him she was sick. She could bet that it would end with an article in Starling newspaper about him being the perfect husband who had come back to take care of his sick wife. She didn’t want that at all. So, she stayed in bed, watching silly shows, cuddling with her dog and drinking litres of Nana’s chicken soup.

But unfortunately, she wasn’t getting better. She wasn’t resting well at night, she spent hours tossing around in her bed, never finding a comfortable position to sleep in. Sleeping one night with Oliver had had that effect on her. Like most of the things she had started doing with him, she didn’t know how to sleep without him anymore. Things were like that between them. They felt so natural when they did them together, they didn’t make sense anymore or weren’t nearly as satisfying when they were doing them separately.

So, after two nights of no good rest, and two days of pain Nana gave in. She allowed Felicity to get out of bed and settled her down in the living-room, tucking her comfortably under a fluffy blanket. Both the Queen siblings came in soon after, Oliver’s worried face quickly followed by Thea’s calmer one. Oliver rushed toward her and pulled her into his chest, hugging her tightly. She exhaled deeply, finally feeling like she was starting to heal. Instantly, she was overwhelmed by his presence, by the steady beat of his heart and his comforting scent. His arms were holding her tightly and she drew strength from his very familiar warmth.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, kissing her forehead softly.

“Better now,” she replied softly. She sneezed then and Thea handed her a box of tissues.

“You clearly are,” he teased.

“Shut up!” She replied.

The three of them sat down on the couch, Shia at their feet, and they started a movie. Felicity was fast asleep in Oliver’s arms not even five minutes after the famous credits of Star Wars had started.

 

* * *

 

A few days later, medicine started working and Felicity found herself feeling much better. She was calling Oliver the moment right after the doctor told her that she could go out again. They made plans to have lunch together at his place. She dressed casually and headed to his apartment. She got there early, using her key to get in. It had taken her a few days to get used to the sight of his key hanging next to hers. Now she knew it’d be weird for her not to have it.

She made them a quick lunch and she was getting the dish out of the oven when he got home. He smiled at the smell of the chicken she had cooked and sat down at the table. They chatted casually while they ate, telling one other about their day. They hadn’t seen each other a lot lately, because Felicity had been sick, except for that one time at her place and she had fallen asleep within minutes. They had both missed each other a lot.

Once their lunch was over and the dishes done – she washed, he wiped – they sat down on his couch, Felicity curling up against his side immediately. They talked some more, but Felicity could feel that something was off with him. He was quieter, letting her do most of the talking and his eyes kept getting lost in the sight of the city.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” She eventually asked.

He frowned, surprised. “What?”

She sighed, turning around so that she could face him. “You have mopey face.”

“Mopey what?”

“Mopey face. That thing you do with your eyebrows, eyes and mouth when something’s bothering you. Like Thea being out at Roy’s. Or us being apart for a while.”

He let out a breath, a smile tugging at his lips. “You’re quiet observant miss Smoak.”

“That I am Mr. Queen. So tell me, what’s wrong?”

“You’re not going to like it.”

That made her pause. She set her cup of decaf on his coffee table and moved so that she was straddling his lap. She cupped his cheeks with her hands and asked again. “Oliver, what’s wrong?”

“You were sick and I didn’t like it.”

She blinked surprised. She hadn’t expected that. “Okay, that’s really sweet of you but I am better now.”

He shook his head. “No you don’t get it. It’s not the fact that you were sick that I didn’t like – although I didn’t like it as well – but the fact that you were sick and that I wasn’t there for you. I couldn’t take care of you and I didn’t like it.”

She opened her mouth and closed it immediately. She hadn’t expected that at all.

“I know you’re gonna say that I am a bit presumptuous but when Thea and I visited you, you were fast asleep in my arms within five minutes. And really, I don’t mean to brag, but I know it was because I was here and because you felt good enough in my arms and...”

“That’s a bit presumptuous, yes,” she cut him off. “But true. I did feel good in your arms. I always do,” she added, her hands on his cheeks, trailing down his solid shoulders and warm arms.

“You know I don’t want to push you on the whole Ray thing. You divorcing him is your battle, it should happen when and where you want it to. I’ll be there to support you, you know that but… I don’t know how much longer I am going to be able to take it.”

She frowned, her heart speeding up in her chest. She had been so sure that he wouldn’t leave her… What was he saying?

“What are you saying?” She asked, her throat tight.

Had he gotten tired of the situation? Did he want to end things between them? Did he want an out?

“I am saying that I love you and that I want to be with you. All the time.”

She let out a shaky breath. “All the time, uh?”

“Yep,” he confirmed, insisting on the “p”. He leaned toward her, brushing his lips against hers for the first time in what had felt like eternity.

“All the time is a lot. Maybe you’ll get tired of me,” she told him, breathing him in.

“I highly doubt that,” he replied, kissing the tip of her nose.

She frowned, pulling away.

“I mean it Felicity. Knowing that you were sick and that I couldn’t come over to make you feel better… It was hard. Like really hard. I know I won’t be able to do it again and I am pretty sure that your husband won’t approve of me as your personal nurse.”

She chuckled at that. “Yeah, you’re right.” She lowered her eyes though, chewing on her lips.

“I am not pushing you into doing anything you’re not ready for, okay?” Oliver said cupping her cheeks to force her to look at him again. “I just want you to know how I feel.”

She nodded. “And how do you feel exactly?” She asked, teasing him. Only that could alleviate the tension that had settled in her body.

“Like a man who’s desperately in love with you miss Smoak,” he replied.

She leaned forward slanting her mouth over his, pouring all her feelings in one searing kiss. Her tongue pressed against his lips, demanding entrance, which he was quick to grant. He turned around on his couch, forcing her to rotate slowly, as her tongue plunged in his mouth, plundering, tasting, taking and coming back for more, finally kissing him properly after so many days. She felt like she had just crossed a desert and that Oliver was the last source of water on earth. She clung to him, holding onto him for dear life, kissing him, tasting him, drinking him in until the need for air became too much and they had to part ways.

Wordlessly, she reached for his Henley. He lifted his arms up and she got him rid of the piece of garment. Warm and toned muscles were revealed to her eyes and she immediately pressed her hands against his skin, the coldness of them making him hiss. She went to take them away but he grabbed them, circling her wrists to keep them in place. Understanding what he wanted, she pushed until he was on his back and straddled his lips. His breath hitched when her clothed core brushed against his jeans-clad erection. Lightly, she brushed the tips of her fingers against the expanse of his chest, teasing him. She reached for his sides, which were particularly sensitive and he gasped, his hips bucking against her. She bit on her lip to repress a moan, the delicious friction feeling like heaven on her craving core.

He pulled at the strings of her double-knit jacket and pushed the lapels aside. She got the message and took it off just when his warm hands slipped under her top, stroking, scratching her skin. She got rid of her top as well and unhooked her bra, tossing both items away. His eyes darkened at the sight of her naked breast and he sat down, his mouth aiming at her right nipple. He closed his lips around it, flatting his tongue against the hardening nub. One of his hands came to her other breast, which felt so heavy as her arousal grew, kneading the flesh tenderly before rolling her nipple against his thumb and forefinger. She moaned, loudly, throwing her head back. Her hands came up behind his head, pulling him into her skin. The fire that had already started underneath her skin now scorching.

His free hand came down to her jeans and he swiftly undid them, pulling the zipper down with one hand, never stopping his ministrations on her breast. She was starting to tremble in his arms, heat coiling inside of her belly. He felt her stomach tighten in anticipation against the hard lines of his chest and he groaned, releasing her nipple with a wet “pop”. He pushed on her chest until she was lying flat on her back and peeled her jeans off of her dangling legs, taking her underwear with them. He hovered over her then and trailed down soft kisses on her cheek, along the line of her jaw, down the column of her throat, on her chest, between the valley of her breast, on her stomach, delving his tongue into her belly button, before resuming kissing every inch of her body. Her thighs were drenched with her arousal but he didn’t mind. On the contrary, the tip of his tongue darted out to taste her. He hummed in appreciation and she keened, desperate to feel him on her aching core. He didn’t indulge her and kept kissing her instead.

She was a writhing mess by the time he reached her right foot and kissed each one of her toes, which were painted a dark purple that day so when he crawled up her body again and inserted a finger in her tight channel, she found herself already very close to the edge. He inserted a second finger inside her, pumping them in and out of her, earning loud gasps and soft moans from her in response. He leaned forward, his tongue flickering her hard bundle of nerves. He toyed with it for a few moments, then he curled his fingers inside her while simultaneously suckling it in mouth, scratching his teeth against it. The thread that had been tightening inside of her snapped and suddenly, she came, hard, crying out his name. More heat pooled down between her legs and he lapped her release, licking her clean.

Her body was buzzing with satisfaction as he made his way back to her. His lips slanted over hers and she could taste herself on him. It sent another jolt through her body and she wrapped her arms around his neck, finding herself ready to go again already.

“Oliver,” she whispered between two sloppy kisses.

“Felicity,” he whispered back, nipping at her lips.

Her hands travelled down his back, tracing the line of his spine with the tips of her fingers. She reached his belt and followed it until she could unbuckle it and open his pants. Quickly, she got him rid of the rest of his clothes, without stopping to kiss him.

“Someone’s eager,” he chuckled as she tangled her legs with his, her feet falling in the crook of his knees.

“It’s been too long,” she told him, her voice laced with need and desire.

“Damn right it has,” he agreed, checking her wetness with his fingers. He played with her clit for a few seconds, a jolt of arousal rushing between her legs. She arched her back against him, seeking more friction and biting his shoulders when he pressed against her clit, making her core slick with her desire with him.

Grunting, he grabbed his erection and filled her with one hard stroke, his own need and desperation showing through his roughness. He set up a punishing space, hard and fast, that had hurt screaming his name within minutes. He slowed down as she came down from her high, still hard and throbbing inside her. They kissed tenderly for a while, their tongues meeting but never knotting as he pulled in and out of her leisurely. Soon enough, the fire in her veins picked up again and he thrust into her a bit harder, a bit faster. Her breathing was erratic, her heart was beating so wildly in her chest, she was pretty sure it was trying to dig a hole in her ribcage to meet Oliver’s. Because, yes, his heart was beating just as widely as hers, she could feel it under the palm of her hands.

His pace was agonizingly slow compared to what it had been a few minutes ago but she couldn’t bring herself to care. What mattered was the now, his hands roaming over her body, caressing softly, stroking lovingly, his tongue claiming her mouth while the rest of his body made love to her tenderly. The fire spread out under her skin slowly, consuming her, one inch of her body at a time. She flexed her hips back at him every time he entered her, her walls clenching around him slightly, bringing him to the edge as well.

She reached her climax first and his name fell from her lips as she stilled for a second under him before bursting out, crying out his name louder, jerking, her walls clenching and unclenching at a crazy rhythm. Like it did most of the time, her release triggered his and he stilled, spilling inside her. She felt a mini-orgasm burst deep inside her and she saw stars, white and bright, behind her closed lids.

He collapsed on top of her, totally spent, and she welcomed him in her arms, cradling him in her embrace. She stroked his spine slowly, running her fingers in his hair as they lied there, naked on his couch, their legs tangled together.

She watched him rest, amazed by the completely relaxed look on his face.

She was the cause of that. She had done that to him.

Her heart burst with love inside her chest. She stared at him wondering how she had gotten so lucky to have him in her life. He had been there for her, ever since the day she had met him. He had brought the pieces of herself back together, adding new ones to her whole.

After so much time spent in the dark, she was finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel.

And it was shining brightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	14. November 2016 part. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Thanks for the amazing response I got for the last chapter and the whole story in general. You guys rock :)
> 
> Happy reading!

As usual, the Polyvore sets for the chapter!

 

Felicity's birthday [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_13_birthday_girl_felicity/set?id=188928136)

The news [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_13_pregnant_felicity/set?id=191456936)

Mom [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_13_mom_felicity/set?id=188940661) / [(Donna)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_13_mom_donna/set?id=188940955)

Appointment [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_13_doctors_office_felicity/set?id=188947275) / [(Donna)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_13_doctors_office_donna/set?id=188947643)

The Talk [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapitre_13_talk_felicity/set?id=188959627)

* * *

 

 

November 2016 part 1.

 

Felicity’s birthday was quite uneventful. Again, Ray wasn’t able to make it – it really was becoming a habit but she wasn’t complaining, not anymore. She spent her evening with Oliver instead. He had taken his night off from the club. For her. She hadn’t even been surprised when he had called her to tell her to come over that night. She hadn’t wanted to assume anything, but she had known. Deep down, she had known that he would do it. Because he was Oliver and she was Felicity and that’s what they did for each other. They made time.

They had a lovely dinner together in his loft. He had cooked her favourite meal, had spread red peonies’ petals everywhere in his loft, had lighted candles… Really, he had done his best to create the most romantic atmosphere possible for her birthday. Everything had been perfect. Everything had been perfect.

Except for her.

She had felt weird the whole evening long, even after three amazing Oliver induced orgasms and the delicious chocolate soufflés he had baked for the occasion. She had felt weird and she had no idea why.

She had felt like something had been off. And something had been off indeed.

It had struck her when he had given her her birthday present. Actually, it had struck her _after_ he had locked the beautiful necklace he had gotten her around her neck and made her come on top of everything. She had indeed told him it was too much, that being with him was enough for her. And Oliver, being his typical Oliver self, had shut her protests down by closing his lips around the throbbing bundle of nerves between her legs.

And when she had come down from her high, she had realised something.

She couldn’t wear his necklace in front of anyone. Because if she did, everyone would praise Ray’s good taste in jewellery and Ray would ask her where she had gotten a necklace with the words “ _Love’s red for us – OQ”_ carved in it.

Even worse, they couldn’t go out. He couldn’t take her out to dinner for her birthday, because they weren’t supposed to be together. They had to stay inside, away from the world’s eyes, because they weren’t supposed to be together.

The thought was absurd to her. Being with Oliver was so natural, how come they weren’t supposed to be together? What did that even mean? They were different from each other, yes, but they completed each other. They were the proof that what people said was right. Opposites did attract.

“What’s wrong baby?” Oliver asked, his fingers drawing meaningless patterns on her back, brushing dangerously close to the curve of her ass. They were both lying on his bed, their legs tangled together. They were completely naked, except for the necklace he had gotten her as a present that was hanging around her neck.

“What makes you think that something’s wrong?” She asked, her heart clenching at the happy smile that was still lingering on his face. Oliver’s post-sex face was her favourite. He always looked younger, happier, lighter and knowing that she had caused that, made her heart swell with pride and burst with love within her chest.

He smiled at her and said, shrugging. “I know you.”

That made her pause. She recalled her previous birthday. How they had met at his club, how he had told her that she wasn’t happy, that she was letting the people in her life control her, shape her into the person they needed her to be.

“Oliver, do you remember my last birthday? When we met at your club?”

He nodded his fingers pausing at the small of her back. He closed his eyes probably replaying the memory of that day behind his lids. “I was a bit of a jerk to you that day,” he admitted after a while.

“But the things you said to me were true nonetheless,” she pointed out. “Why did you tell them? Why did you want me?”

He sighed, turning on his back, staring at the ceiling. “I thought I knew who you were. I usually don’t pay attention to what’s written in the press but since my father was going to work with your husband, I did my homework on the both of you. I wanted to know who my family was dealing with. And really, I thought I knew you from what I had read. I thought that you were just another pretty wife only there to support her husband. I thought that there was nothing more to you than meet the eyes.” He chuckled at that. “I’ve never been happier to be proven wrong. When I actually met you at QC, you were sitting there in your red dress, waiting for Ray and for a second I thought that I was right about you. Then, you spoke your thoughts out loud about me being on the cover of some magazines and I realised that I was wrong, that you were different.” He smiled softly. “There was just something about you, something that reminded me of myself. Tommy and I, we helped each other out of our families’ expectations. We made something else out of ourselves.” He paused for a second and Felicity used the time to wipe the tears in her eyes. He had never told her any of this. “Our conversation at QC was… something to say the least. I found myself wanting more. I wanted more of you. Of the real you, the one that babbled and spoke her thoughts out loud.”

“I was annoyed by your flirty manners,” she confessed and that made him laugh.

“Sorry about that, I just couldn’t help making you blush.” She smacked his shoulder and he caught her hands, capturing her fingers between his. “The night of your birthday, I was a bit jealous when I saw you dancing in the middle of crowd. I wanted to have you all for myself even though I knew I couldn’t. I wanted you to want me back so bad it hurt. And I told you all these things because I wanted to help you, to open your eyes.”

“And open my eyes you did,” Felicity whispered, her other hand caressing his stubble lightly.

“I didn’t know I was already halfway in love with you back then,” he told her, his voice soft and low. “But I remember pretty vividly wanting more than just wanting you. I wanted to love you.”

She chuckled. “And why is that?”

“Because you’re beautiful, in and out.”

She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. They parted ways after a minute of trading lazy kisses.

“So, what’s wrong?” He asked again.

“I don’t want to be surrounded by lies anymore,” she confessed softly, her blue eyes getting lost in his even bluer ones. “After all, the whole point of this was for you to help me get rid of the persona I had built around myself. I am tired of the lies Oliver,” she added. “I don’t want us to hide anymore, I don’t want us to be kept in the dark, as if we are some dirty secret we are ashamed of.” She paused. “I am not ashamed of us. I love us, I love you and I want everything with you.” She smiled when she saw him genuinely smiling back at her, his eyes saying back everything. “I want the lazy Sunday mornings in bed, the arguments at the grocery store because of my unhealthy love for junk food, the quiet evenings on the couch and the busier ones at _Verdant_. Maybe also a boy with your eyes and smile in a few years.” She nodded at her own words, picturing that little boy in her mind perfectly. Oliver’s eyes were shining more brightly now and she knew that he was picturing the little boy as well. “I want all that. With you.” She added, poking his chest with her finger. She closed her eyes for a second, revelling in all the possibilities that laid ahead of them, her index finger tracing meaningless pattern on his skin. “Think about it: no more PR speeches, no more stolen kisses, no more indoors dates.”

He rolled over again, his body hovering over hers, blanketing her completely. “That’s all I ever wanted, ever since we said our first I love you, ever since we first kissed. I just didn’t want you to feel pressured.”

“I know that and I can’t thank you enough for this. You’ve been so kind and so perfect. But the truth is, I miss you all the time and I am tired of missing you.”

“I miss you all the damn time too,” he confessed and her heart clenched at the honesty she saw shining in his eyes. He leaned down toward her and whispered in the shell of her ear. “And I really want everything with you.”

“Then I’ll set up an appointment with Laurel tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

They talked some more that night. They made a plan.

She’d call Laurel and meet with her to discuss her options. She was going to ask for a divorce and leave everything to Ray. If she didn’t ask for anything, he’d have no reasons to put up a fight with her and maybe the divorce wouldn’t be delayed for too long. If they weren’t lucky, he’d threaten her to stay with him, he’d find something to fight against her on. The thought was stressing the hell out of her. She was nervous, afraid of Ray’s habit of twisting things to make them look how he wanted to. She didn’t know if she was strong enough to handle all of that, one last time.

She was going to find that out.

Somehow though, she remained hopeful. Maybe they’d be lucky, maybe Ray would even realise that letting her go smoothly would do them more good than harm. Hell, if they could come to an amicable agreement, there would be no scandals, no reasons for the press to harass them and make a big deal out of things.

At least she hoped so.

She would move in somewhere close to where Oliver lived. They would keep their relationship secret, seeing each other behind closed doors still for a while, and one day, he’d ask her out on a date and they’d stop hiding.

That was the plan.

Divorcing Ray – moving in somewhere close to Oliver’s neighbourhood - hiding for an appropriate amount of time – starting dating.

On paper, it was a good plan.

But there is that thing with life where things are never quite how they look on paper. And then things don’t go as planned.

Unfortunately for them, in their lives, things weren’t quite how they looked on paper. And so things didn’t go as planned for them.

 

* * *

 

Everything started to go wrong when Oliver had to leave Starling two days after her birthday. A fire had partly destroyed the newly opened club in Coast City and he had to go there to deal with everything.

His departure sent Felicity’s brain into overdrive. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to divorce Ray, how could she do that if Oliver wasn’t at her side every step of the way, how could she resist a tempest without her pillar there to anchor her into the world? She had no idea. Oliver sensed her fear immediately and he promised her he’d be back very soon, his low voice and soft eyes soothing her like only they could. So Felicity went to meet with Laurel, with whom she had grown close to enough to consider her as a friend now. She didn’t seem really surprised when she told her that she wanted a divorce. Felicity didn’t ask why but something told her it had to do with the fact that Ray was out of town more often not.

They talked about Felicity’s options. She hadn’t signed a prenup before the wedding. And now she understood why they hadn’t made her sign one. People didn’t divorce in the Palmer family. She hadn’t signed a prenup but it didn’t mean that she was going to ask money from Ray. No, no, no. Sticking to the plan, Felicity explained to Laurel that she wanted nothing from him. He could keep everything he had worked so hard to get, his money, the houses, the cars… All their valuable goods, he could keep. They didn’t matter to her in any way. All she cared about was her freedom.

Laurel explained to her everything that needed to be explained and when Felicity left, she promised her she’d mail her the papers during the week.

Now, Felicity only had to speak to Ray. He was on a business trip with Robert Queen so that talk would have to wait for his return which was supposed to be the day before Thanksgiving. It was fine with Felicity. She’d rather wait for Oliver to be back in town before talking to Ray. She knew she’d need his support.

 

* * *

 

When she woke up that morning, she felt dizzy. She put her feet on the floor and stood up. The world was spinning around her. She ran toward the bathroom connected to her bedroom and emptied the contents of her stomach in the toilet. She leaned her sweaty forehead against the white and cold china and took a few steady breaths, praying for the nausea to pass.

It didn’t.

She spent her morning bent over the toilet, feeling sicker than ever. Nana came to check on her at some point, and when she was feeling a bit better, she made a special tisane that would help her stomach settle inside her. It did her some good and she fell asleep soon after she had finished it, exhausted.

The next morning, she woke up to the same feeling of dizziness and nausea. She was feeling a bit stronger though, so she tried to eat the light breakfast cooked by Nana. The smell of coffee made her stomach turn. Not even five minutes later, she was bent over the toilet, which was quickly becoming her new best friend, throwing up until there was nothing left inside her.

“I must have caught the flu or something,” she sighed, closing her eyes in tiredness.

“Maybe,” Nana said while brushing strands of hair away from her face. “How about I get you back to your bed?”

“I’d rather stay here,” Felicity said. “I am really not feeling well.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back then,” she promised.

Felicity nodded absentmindedly. When Nana came back, she didn’t say anything. She just put a pink box next to Felicity and got out, giving her some privacy.

The sight of the box made Felicity feel sick all over again.

It was a pregnancy test.

“Nuh, nuh,” she whispered, her heart picking up in her chest. This wasn’t it. She couldn’t be. She wasn’t… No. She couldn’t even formulate the word. She hadn’t forgotten her pill. And her period hadn’t been late.

She paused.

What day was it already?

She reached for her phone, safely tucked in her bathrobe’s pocket and opened her calendar.

Her heart sank down in her chest.

She was late. She was more than ten freaking days late and she hadn’t even noticed. She had been too caught up in the whirlwind of things, her birthday, Oliver’s departure, Ray, the divorce, her appointment with Laurel… Everything had gone so fast, she hadn’t noticed that the days had been passing as well.

And that she hadn’t had her period.

With shaking hands, she grabbed the pink box, knowing in her heart what the result would be.

 

* * *

 

It was funny how life always seemed to find a way to surprise you. It really was.

Not so long ago, Felicity had found herself staring at a white stick just like the one she was currently holding, praying for two blue lines to appear. She had been disappointed when the second line hadn’t showed up. Now, Felicity was praying for the same two blue lines not to appear.

The plan was: divorcing Ray – moving in somewhere close to Oliver’s neighbourhood - hiding for an appropriate amount of time – starting dating.

A child wasn’t in the plan.

She was still married to Ray for God’s sake!

A child would change everything. A child would complicate everything.

One single tear rolled down her cheeks when the two blue lines she had known would appear, appeared. She bit on her lip as she noticed how the dark blue of the lines was contrasting sharply with the whiteness of the stick, making them proudly stand out. It was almost like they were mocking her, throwing their implication to her face with a smug grin.

Her shoulders went limp as the reality of her situation sank in.

Pregnant.

She was pregnant.

 

* * *

 

For the next couple of days, Felicity stayed in bed. She was sick as hell, so really she had pretty good excuse to. She cancelled all her meetings, asked her clients for delays and stayed in bed. She avoided Oliver’s calls, limiting their interactions to texts. She knew he knew something was off but it wasn’t like she could tell him the news over the phone, right?

The news. The pregnancy.

She had a hard time wrapping up her mind around the idea that she was pregnant.

She was actually pregnant. There was a tiny life growing inside of her belly. Her body was making another human being.

A baby.

A baby that was half-her and half-Oliver. Their baby. A perfect mix of the both of them. The thought should have made her happy.

And in a way, it did.

But in the meantime, it did not.

They say that you are never really ready to become a parent. It was even truer in her case.

Did she want to be a mom? Yes, absolutely.

Did she want that baby? Yes, of course. How could she not? She had made this baby with the man she loved. She hated the timing, sure, but she loved that baby already.

But were things that simple? No. They rarely were.

Because it wasn’t just about what she wanted. It was also about what Oliver wanted and more importantly, it was about what the baby _needed_.

She wasn’t sure that their complicated and delicate situation was it.

 

* * *

 

Almost a week and a half after she found out that she was pregnant, Felicity was woken up by the solid clack of heels against tiles. Grunting, she buried herself deeper under her comforter. She heard someone open the door to her room. The clack of heels, now softer because of the wooden floor, made her tilt her head in confusion. Who the hell was in her room?

“Felicity Meghan Smoak, you better get out that bed now before I’ll get you out of it myself.” The strict tone of her mother made her push the comforter away from her.

“Mom?” She groaned at the sight of Donna Smoak standing in front of her bed, her arms crossed over her chest, a severe expression on her face.

“It’s past two pm Felicity. Get in the shower and meet me for lunch in the kitchen when you’re done,” she told her as she walked to open the curtains in her daughter’s room.

“What are you doing here?”

“Nana called, she said that you needed your mom. Now get up!” Donna said, taking the comforter away from her.

Felicity sighed but complied. She dragged herself to the bathroom and showered. When she got out to get dressed, she saw that someone had taken the sheets from the bed, probably to clean them. The same someone had also opened the window, to air the room. Felicity looked down guiltily rubbing her stomach softly. She really had let herself go for the past few days.

She walked to the kitchen. Her mom and Nana were talking animatedly. When she saw her, the old cook walked toward her.

“I took the liberty to call your mother. I hope that you understand.”

Felicity nodded. “Thank you Nana.”

She smiled at her, squeezing her hand softly before walking out. When she was gone, Felicity turned around to face her mother. Donna gestured toward a plate.

“Eat,” she said. There was a steaming cup of tea in front of her. She brought it to her lips, took a sip and then set it back down. Meanwhile, Felicity sat down, her eyes solely focused on the healthy meal, the first in a really long time, in front of her. “So baby girl, tell me what’s going on.”

Felicity grabbed her fork, toying with her food. The smell wasn’t strong, meaning that it didn’t make her feel like throwing up. She raised up her eyes to meet her mom’s. “I don’t know where to start,” she whispered, tears springing at the corner of her eyes.

“Wherever you want baby girl, we have time.”

Felicity tasted the food before putting the fork back on the table, not feeling like eating anything at all. She took a deep breath, to steady herself and said. “I am pregnant mom.”

It was the first time that she had actually said it out loud. Even when she had found out, she hadn’t spoken the words. Donna’s mouth hung open, her lower lip trembling. “Baby, that’s…”

“Don’t say it’s amazing!” She interrupter her. “It’s not.”

Donna tilted her head. “Why is that?”

Felicity bit on her lips. “Because Ray’s not the father.”

That made Donna close her mouth. She paused for a second, studying her daughter, who was starting to blush under her intense gaze. “It’s Oliver, isn’t it?” She said softly then, taking Felicity completely by surprise.

“Excuse me?”

“Oliver Queen. He is the father, right?”

Felicity frowned. “How…?”

“I may not live in the same city as you Felicity, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t know what happens around you. I saw the pictures of the Queen Christmas party, of you and Oliver dancing and I told myself “They look beautiful together”. And now, a few months later, I saw the pictures of that charity, that you helped organising. I saw the way the two of you were looking at each other… Honey, you were all bright smiles and shining eyes. It was a look I hadn’t seen on your face in a really long time.” Donna sighed, toying with the handle of her cup. “At least, that explains why you were sleeping in one of your guest rooms. Does Ray know?” She asked next.

Felicity shook her head, a wave of panic kicking in her veins. More tears sprung at the corner of her eyes. “No, no, god help me, he doesn’t!” She paused, trying to get a grip on her emotions. Facts. She needed to focus on the facts. “I – I wanted to ask for a divorce. I met a friend of mine, who is a lawyer and she sent me the papers and – I don’t know what to do anymore mom. The baby – It’s not something I planned.” She took her head between her hands, frustrated by her own struggle with words.

Donna reached out for her daughter’s hands and held them tightly. “I know that you’re lost baby girl, but I am going to help you figure things out, okay? You don’t have to worry about anything anymore. Your mom’s here and she going to take care of everything, okay?” Felicity nodded, breathing through her nose. “Good, that’s my girl,” Donna approved, a smile on her lips. “Do you know how far along you are? Have you seen a doctor yet?”

Felicity shook her head, wiping at her tears. “Okay,” Donna said. “We’re going to set up an appointment for this week, okay? We need to know if everything is okay.” The thought that something could have been wrong hadn’t even crossed Felicity’s mind. She hadn’t been pregnant for a long time and she was already a terrible mother. “Have you spoken with Oliver?” Donna asked.

Felicity shook her head again. “I don’t know what to say.” She looked down at her plate, letting her fears, doubts and insecurities out for the first time since she had learnt that she was pregnant. “What if he doesn’t want that baby mom? What if he leaves me too? I was sure he wouldn’t because I know how much he loves me, I trust him, but a baby… A baby’s a lot. A baby is not what he signed for and I can’t help but fear that this is going to be the final straw. That he’ll finally have enough and turn his back on me.” She paused, giving some time to herself to get her emotions back under her control. “I love him mom, I really do and I don’t know if I can survive him leaving me.”

Donna had tears in her eyes too, sensitive to her daughter’s desperation. “Baby, if he loves you as much as you do then he won’t leave you.” She kissed her forehead’s daughter then said. “Set up an appointment with your gynaecologist and then we’ll talk some more, okay?”

Felicity nodded, already reaching out for her phone.

 

* * *

 

Felicity told her mother everything. From how her relationship with Ray had failed, how caged she had felt to how she had met Oliver and how she had fallen in love with him. She told her everything, feeling better the more she spoke. Her mother listened to her attentively, never judging her, never blaming her. She did however let her anger burst whenever Felicity what Ray had done to her.

They talked for hours. Felicity cried a lot, but she put most of the blame on her hormones. Donna hugged her tightly, whispering words of comfort and support inside her ear. And more importantly, she reminded her daughter of something she had tended to forget as the years had passed. She was a fighter. She could get herself out of any situation. She had a spine made of steel and a blood made of fire. She could overcome everything that life put in her way, whether Oliver was by her side or not.

 

* * *

 

Two days later, they were both entering the office where Doctor Duncan, Felicity’s gynaecologist, practiced. It was a big house, where three doctors worked. The walls were painted with light colours and the waiting room was warm and welcoming. The scent was soft and pleasant, making people forget that they were actually in a doctor’s office.

Doctor Duncan had been following Felicity ever since she had moved in Starling City. They had met twice already, the first time for a regular check-up, the second time when she had needed a new prescription for her pill. She was a tall and black woman, in her mid-thirties and she had one of the warmest smiles ever.

“Felicity,” she greeted her once her office’s door was closed behind them. “I was surprised to see you on my planning today but it’s really good to see you,” she added, shaking her hand. “I am guessing that this is your mother?”

“Yes,” Felicity confirmed. “This is my mom, Donna Smoak.”

“It a pleasure to meet you Mrs…”

“Donna,” Felicity’s mom cut her off. “You can call me Donna.”

Doctor Duncan smiled. “Okay, it’s very nice to meet you Donna. Felicity really is your spitting image, it’s amazing!”

Donna smiled back at her. “Thank you,” she said, coyly.

“Now, be my guest ladies and please have a seat.”

The three women sat down and Felicity’s nervousness came back hitting her in the face.

“So, what’s brought you here today Felicity?”

She took a deep breath. “I am pregnant.”

Doctor Duncan nodded. “Okay, are you sure?”

Felicity nodded. “I’ve been feeling dizzy and nauseous for a while now. I took a test almost two weeks ago, it was positive.”

Doctor Duncan nodded again. “I see. And you’ve only taken one test?”

“Yes,” Felicity said. “My period’s late. If the other symptoms could be mistaken for the flue, this can certainly not.”

Doctor Duncan. “Your period’s late? When was your last one? Do you have any idea of how far along you might be?”

“My last period started on October, the 1rst. And no, I don’t know how far along I am.”

“Okay,” Doctor Duncan pressed a few strokes on her keyboard, filling Felicity’s file with these information. “Felicity I know you’re on the pill so is this a planned pregnancy?”

Felicity looked at her mother, seeking her help. “No, it isn’t,” Donna said softly. “And she hasn’t forgotten her pill.”

“Not even one day,” Felicity added. “I am very careful with it. But I did stop taking it when I found out that I was… pregnant.” It still felt odd to say the word out loud.

“There is always a risk of failure when you take the pill,” Doctor Duncan explained. “The risk is small, but it’s still there, especially if the pill isn’t strong enough or if you have a particularly healthy sex life.”

The last comment made Felicity blush. Her sex life was… really satisfying. Was that included in “healthy”? “I had an ear and throat infection last month,” she recalled. “I had to take antibiotics to get rid of it. Is it possible that they have messed up somehow with my birth control?”

Doctor Duncan nodded. “It is possible, indeed, but we can’t know for sure. What I’d like to know Felicity, is how far along you are. We’ll be able to determine what can happen next once we know.”

Felicity nodded. Doctor Duncan stood up and took her to the examination table. She drew some blood from her – Donna came over to hold her hand, Felicity hated needles – and put it in little tubes, with her name written on a small tag. She winced at the sight of the name “Smoak-Palmer”. The baby wasn’t a Palmer. It was a Queen. A tiny Smoak-Queen baby was growing inside her.

“Are you happy with the result Felicity?”

Felicity blinked and pinched her lips, baffled. “Why are you asking?”

“Well, you said that it was not a planned pregnancy…”

Felicity nodded. “It wasn’t planned yes, but I am happy with it. I’m just… wrapping my mind around the idea!” She pointed at her head.

The doctor smiled gently at her before doing a little check-up of her lady parts.

“Everything looks good down here,” she said when she was done.

She threw her gloves away while Felicity got dressed again. Then, she went to sit down behind her desk again. They talked some more, she asked Felicity a few questions and gave her some advice and papers to read about pregnancy as well as prenatal vitamins to take from now on. When she was done, Felicity’s head was buzzing with information. She was scared and she was glad that her mother was around with her. She couldn’t have gone through this alone.

“So Felicity,” Doctor Duncan, “I’ll call you when I have your results. Have a nice day!”

“Thank you doctor, have a nice day as well!”

“Thank you doctor,” Donna added, still holding Felicity’s hand tightly.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, the reality of it all struck Felicity.

She was pregnant. She had been to a doctor’s appointment and she’d soon know for how long she had been carrying her baby.

She closed her eyes, her hands covering her stomach and she suddenly felt the need to see the little boy she had pictured in bed with Oliver not so long ago. Frowning, she tried to think of that little boy again. But he never came. Instead, the image of a little girl with curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes came to her mind, making her heart beat louder in her chest.

Something strong, something warm and happy rose in her chest, overwhelming her. She found herself wanting that little girl to be real. She wanted her to be here already. She wanted to hold her in the safety of her arms and never let go. She wanted to cuddle with her, to feel her little feet against her legs as they’d snuggle in bed. She wanted to hear her laugh. She wanted to see her smile.

She wanted her.

It was as simple as that.

The realisation stirred up something inside her. She took a deep breath, and she felt some of her fears leave her body. She really was going to ask Ray for a divorce. She was going to leave him and she wouldn’t let herself be intimated by him. She wouldn’t let him threaten her, she wouldn’t be scared. She was going to stand still, to look at him right in the eye and tell him a few hard truths.

She was going to do all that, not for her, not for Oliver.

She was going to do it for her child.

It was time for her to be strong again.

 

* * *

 

Doctor Duncan called Felicity the following day.

“Felicity,” she greeted her. “How are you doing?”

“I am still feeling nauseous,” she answered honestly. Morning sicknesses, really were a bitch. They stuck to mornings mostly – she had read somewhere that they could last all day for some women – but were pretty intense. From the moment she woke up, until the beginning of the afternoon, she felt sick. And she was extremely sensitive to smells. If they were too strong, she’d immediately feel sick, no matter what time it was.

“That’s completely normal,” Doctor Duncan. “They should wear off after the beginning of the second trimester.”

“Can’t wait to be there,” Felicity joked lightly. “I am guessing that you have my results.”

“Yes, I do. You’re about six weeks pregnant. I suggest that we schedule an appointment in two weeks. I’ll do an ultra-sound so if your husband wants to come along, he is very welcomed.”

Felicity clenched her eyes shut. “I’m sure he’ll be there. About the appointment?”

“Yeah let me check my agenda… How does December the 10th at 2pm sound?”

“It sounds perfect. Thank you again doctor.”

Felicity turned around toward her mother. Donna was sitting on the couch, reading a magazine. She was going to stay over until Ray came back, two days from then.

“So?” She asked.

“6 weeks pregnant,” Felicity told her, sitting down next to her.

“You need to tell Oliver.”

Felicity groaned, not thrilled by the idea. “I know. He came back home yesterday and he has made it pretty clear that he wants to see me today.”

Donna tilted her head. “Why?”

“He has noticed that I’ve been acting weird.”

“Then go talk to him.”

Felicity nodded, her heart speeding up in her chest. She was scared. She was scared of what would happen. That conversation could either cement their relationship or destroy it.

_“3:36 pm_

_Can we meet? I have something to tell you._

_FS”_

_\--_

She hesitated before sending.

_“3:37 pm_

_It’s important._

_FS”_

_\--_

She then realised how it sounded and added quickly.

_“3:38 pm_

_Don’t freak out! It’s nothing to be worried about. Well, that’s not entirely true, we should be worried, but in a good way. Not in a bad way!_

_FS”_

_\--_

_“3:38 pm_

_I know I am not making any sense… Can we meet?_

_FS”_

_\--_

_“3:40 pm_

_I am at Verdant II with Tommy. Can you meet me there?_

_OQ”_

_\--_

_“3:40 pm_

_You’re the only one freaking out, by the way._

_OQ”_

_\--_

_“3:42 pm_

_Can we meet at your place instead?_

_It’s really important. And private. If you see what I mean._

_FS”_

_\--_

_“3:44 pm_

_My place in 1 hour._

_OQ”_

_\--_

_“3:44 pm_

_Love you!_

_OQ”_

_\--_

Her heart clenched in her chest. Boy, he had no idea what was going to hit him. Her legs were shaking slightly.

“You got this Felicity,” her mother told her, to encourage her.

She smiled shyly at her before leaving to get ready.

 

* * *

 

Felicity knocked at the door. She usually didn’t, but this time she did. She was feeling that if she didn’t let him know she was there, she’d leave without talking to him. She couldn’t let that happen. That conversation couldn’t be delayed any longer.

Steeling her spine, she waited for him to open the door.

“Felicity.”

Her name fell out of his lips barely louder than a whisper, as if he couldn’t believe that she was truly there. That’s what made her realise that he’d actually been freaking out too. He had been taken aback by her weird behaviour, maybe he had been scared that she had changed her mind. Maybe he had been afraid that he was going to lose her… That was good, right? It meant that he cared? That maybe he wouldn’t leave her once she’d have dropped the baby bomb on his lap? Oh god, what if he thought that she had done it on purpose? That she had tried to trap him into some kind of relationship with her?

This was her worst nightmare coming up to life.

“Oliver,” she said, forcing a smile on her lips.

He stepped aside to let her in. Everything was still the same in his loft and the sight of this place where they had loved each other, scratch that, where they loved each other, tugged at something in her heart. Then, another thought occurred to her. They had made their baby in this loft. She smiled, trying to grasp the exact moment it had happened. Was it the day they had made love after she had been feeling better? Had it happened on his couch, right after he had told her that he hadn’t liked not being able to take care of her when she had been sick? Or had it happened a few days later when they’d met in a restaurant? He had been with Tommy and Laurel, she had been with a client – although as soon as they had spotted each other, their hearts and minds had been together. Felicity had stood up right after her meeting had been over, not even bothering with a desert. Oliver had cut his lunch short and they had met at his apartment. They had been in such a rush that day, they hadn’t made it to his room at first. Instead, he had taken her on his kitchen island. She still remembered perfectly the feel of the cold marble against her heated skin.  Had it happened later? When Oliver had made them some pancakes to eat, as a slightly delayed desert. She had taken upon herself to lick maple syrup off of his abs. It had driven him crazy and when he had snapped, he had just turned her around and taken her on his couch, right there and then. They had spent quite a long time cleaning the mess they had made after that. The memories drew a smile on her lips and she quickly realised that it didn’t matter how it had happened. What mattered was that their baby had been made with love and passion.

“Felicity?” His voice got her out of her daydream. He helped her take her coat off and she dropped her bag on his kitchen counter. He smiled at her clothes. “Isn’t it a bit early for winters’ sweaters?” He asked, his tone teasing.

“I was cold,” she defended herself.

He tilted his head. “You okay? You look pale.”

She nodded. The morning sickness had been particularly hard on her that morning. Her stomach hadn’t settled before late in the afternoon. She still hadn’t eaten anything yet. “I am fine,” she lied.

He shook his head, not looking particularly convinced but not pushing her as well. “Wanna drink something? I can make us some coffee.”

“No,” she refused quickly. “No coffee, please!”

He frowned. “Okay, now I am really worried. What’s wrong?”

“Can we sit?” She asked. Without waiting for his response, she sat down on the couch. Her eyes got caught, as always, by the windows, and the beautiful view of Starling they had from this point.

He sat down next to her, his eyes roaming over her, trying to guess what was wrong.

“Oliver,” she started. She opened her mouth, the words on the tip of her tongue but the look on his face made her pause. It was maybe the last time that she was welcomed inside his loft. Maybe he’d leave her once he knew the truth. She wouldn’t be surprised if he did. The men in her life tended to do that.

“Felicity, talk to me,” he said softly, his tone demanding nonetheless.

“I am pregnant,” she whispered, looking up to meet his blue eyes.

For a second, she thought that he hadn’t heard her. He stood there, frozen, not saying anything. But then, he blinked, slowly. “What?” He asked, his voice tight with emotions.

“I am pregnant,” she repeated, her voice steadier than before.

Confusion filled his eyes as he started to fully comprehend what she was saying. “How? You said you were on the pill!” He added and she frowned at the implied accusation. She had expected it, but it still hurt to actually hear the words.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she felt a spike of anger rise in her chest. “Well, the pill can fail and I took antibiotics last month. It can mess with other medication, such as the pill. Besides, it’s not like we’ve been using lots of condoms lately so don’t you dare give me that look.”

“What look?” He asked, his own anger obvious in his voice.

“That look on you face, that says “You did it on purpose” because let me tell you this Oliver, I didn’t do it on purpose.” She got on her feet, feeling the need to move, to do something. “I really didn’t plan for it to happen, it’s the least thing I wanted for us but now it’s happening and I am scared, like really _really_ scared, because I never planned for it to happen and…”

He got on his feet too, faster than she could blink, his hands landing on her shoulders to calm her down. “Fe-li-ci-ty,” he said, paying attention to each syllables the way she liked, the way that melted her insides. “Felicity, please, take a deep breath.” He looked at her expectedly so she did as she was told. Slowly, she drew in a deep breath and then exhaled, letting her fears out as she did so. “I am sorry babe, I didn’t mean to make it sound like it was your fault. You just caught me off guards.” She nodded. “Now can we sit back down and freak out together?” He asked, his tone still perfectly calm and in control. Again she nodded, not trusting her voice. “Good.”

They both sat down on the couch. His hands fell from her shoulders to land on her hands and he tugged at them. She frowned until she understood what he wanted. She moved onto his lap, her legs spread on either side of his thighs. Her hands immediately gripped the hem of his Henley and she started tugging at it, using the fabric as a distraction to avoid his eyes.

“Okay so… When did you find out?” He eventually asked.

“Almost two weeks ago,” she said, her voice shaking. “Morning sicknesses were being bitchy… Well, I didn’t know they were morning sicknesses at first, obviously, but then I took a test and it was positive. I saw my doctor yesterday, she says I am six weeks pregnant.”

“Six weeks pregnant?” Oliver repeated, a small smile on his lips. “That’s…” He hesitated, at a loss for words. “I am sorry, I don’t know what to say.” His eyes fell on her stomach. There was no bump visible yet, even less because she was wearing a sweater. It was too soon to be able to say that there was indeed a baby growing inside of her but still. They both knew her body very well, they could tell the difference. Her stomach was slightly more curved and the skin was definitely firmer. “Can I?” He asked, reaching toward her belly.

She lifted her sweater up to expose her stomach. His warm hands fell on her soft skin, completely engulfing it. The contact stirred up something within her and she felt tears pricked in her eyes. This was right. It actually felt so right it was almost painful.

He raised up his head and his blue eyes met hers. “Our baby’s growing there?” He asked, as if he couldn’t believe.

She nodded before confirming it out loud, the need to voice it so strong, there was no way for her to resist it. “Yes.”

“Is it normal if I am as happy as I am freaked out?” He asked, a goofy smile on his lips, but a crease of worry between his eyebrows.

“It’s very normal,” she agreed. He took his hand off of her and she instantly missed the contact between them. He then tugged at her sweater to put it back in place. She leaned her forehead against his and just breathed him in, drawing strength from him as she had taken the habit to.

“What are we gonna do?” He whispered after a while.

She pulled away from him, immediately missing the contact between them. “I have no idea.”

“Do you want to keep it?” He asked.

“Do you?”

He closed his eyes for a second and when he opened them again, she only saw certainty shine brightly in them. “Yes.” He took a deep breath and went on. “It’s going to be hard, I know, with everything that’s going to happen around us, to us in the next few weeks. It’s going to be very hard. But still, it’s our child. A part of you and a part of me. And I want that. You and me.”

It was her turn to close her eyes, a single tear rolling down her cheeks.

“Baby what’s wrong?” Oliver said, worry and fear laced in his voice. “Don’t you want to?”

She opened her eyes, her lower lip trembling slightly. “It’s not that,” she told him, more tears coming up and damn her hormones, she was turning into a fountain.

“What is it then?” Oliver insisted, trying to wipe her tears away with his thumb but he couldn’t, there were too many.

“I – I was just afraid that you were going to leave me…”

“What?” He asked, and she couldn’t see his face because of her tears but she was sure that he looked as dumbfounded as he sounded.

“I was afraid that you wouldn’t want me anymore, that you wouldn’t want the baby and that you’d leave and…”

“Felicity, Felicity, please listen to me,” he cut her off. He cupped her cheeks with his hands and tilted her head back up so that their eyes would meet. “I love you. I am in love with you. I want you. I want to be with you. I want everything with you. The house, the white fence, the dog and the kids. I want the whole thing, do you understand?”

She nodded. “I already have the dog,” she said through her tears.

He huffed back a laugh. “And the baby’s on the way. So, the only thing we need now is the house with the white fence.” She chuckled at his words and that made him pause. He stared at her, his eyes shining brightly. “I love you Felicity Smoak. I love you, only you…”

“And your family. And Tommy. And…”

“… Our baby.” She smiled at that. “I have no intentions of leaving you and I need you to believe that, okay? I need you to believe it for now. And, when we’ll be together _together_ , I’ll spend my days proving you that I will never ever leave you.”

She shook her head, tears of happiness rolling down her cheeks now. “God, I feel so stupid…”

“Why is that?”

“Because I was afraid that you’d leave. I thought that I had gotten rid of that stupid fear, that I…” She paused, not being able to finish her sentence.

“That you trusted me?” Oliver said.

She nodded. “What does that say about me? That I can’t seem to let my guard down off to actually believe that one day, you won’t be gone. You’re my baby’s father for God’s sake! Things shouldn’t be that hard!”

Oliver’s hands fell at her waist, stroking the skin tenderly above the fabric of her sweater. “It says that you’re not quite there yet. And that I still have a lot of work to do.”

He smiled brightly at her, and her heart clench almost to the point of pain in her chest. He leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. He went to deepen the kiss but she pulled away, earning a frustrated groan in response.

“What?” He asked, his head tilted in confusion.

“As much as I want to celebrate with you, we are not done talking.”

He sighed, his shoulders falling limp. She was right, he knew it. “Laurel mailed me the papers for the divorce. I’ll show them to Ray when he is back from his trip.”

Oliver’s eyes fell on his hands on her hips, anchoring her onto his lap. “You’re not going to like what I have to say.”

She frowned. “What do you have to say?”

“We always knew that your divorce wouldn’t go unnoticed, right?” She nodded her approval. “Now, what do you think is going to happen if the newly divorced and very pregnant Felicity Smoak settles down with former playboy Oliver Queen?”

She shrugged and sighed. “Honestly? I don’t care. They can think whatever they want. It doesn’t matter to me.”

“I don’t care either, but this does not only affect us, whether we like or not. This will affect our families as well. And don’t get me started on what Ray will do when he learns the truth. He’ll probably lose it.”

She sighed again, suddenly feeling exhausted. The lazy Sunday mornings spent in bed that she dreamt of kept looking so far away. “What do you suggest?”

“We should talk to my family. Ask for QC’s PR team’s help.”

Felicity pinched her nose and sighed for the third time in a row, this time in frustration.  He was right. She didn’t like that. “Oliver, no. We said no more PR speeches, no more control, no more dolls.”

“I know, baby, I know, but this… This is going to blow up to our faces if we don’t control it.”

“Ray’s coming back soon. I’ll talk to him as soon as he’s here and we’ll see where we go from there, okay?”

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	15. November 2016 part. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!
> 
> This chapter is a monster. Oops...  
> I'll get back to the comments on the last chapter tomorrow.  
> Thank you for everything, you guys rock!
> 
> Happy reading!

The Polyvore sets, as usual :)

 

The Talk [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_14_leaving_felicity/set?id=188977123) (the one you've been waiting for...)

The other talk [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_14_it_is_true/set?id=189012073) / [(Moira)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_14_it_is_true/set?id=189011418)

Thanksgiving [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_14_thanksgiving_felicity/set?id=189032347) / [(Laurel)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_14_thanksgiving_laurel/set?id=189031740) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_14_thanksgiving_thea/set?id=189032491)

* * *

 

November 2016 part 2.

 

Felicity was sitting down on her bed, the papers for the divorce put together in a dark carton folder. Both her wedding band and her engagement ring were safely tucked in a velvet box. She had gotten some of her clothes and stuff, such as a few books and her electronics, in three suitcases and a few bags that were waiting for her in the trunk of her car.

Ray was on his way, he had just texted her to tell her to wait for him. To say that she was feeling nervous would be an understatement. She was crazy worried. She was about to leave her husband. She knew how painful it was, when someone left. She had experienced that pain many times. It had branded its mark on her heart, forging doubts and insecurities in her soul. She hated that she was about to cause that pain to Ray. Even though she knew he had left her a long time ago, when he had decided that his work and company were more important than her, than their marriage, it still hurt. She was hurting, for her, for him, for them. For what they could have been, if he hadn’t turned his back on them. For what they used to be, before they lost their way.

She knew that the timing was terrible. It was the day before Thanksgiving. If she hadn’t been pregnant, she would have waited a few more days. But she was pregnant, she had morning sicknesses, she was sensitive to strong smells and she knew that she wouldn’t be able to hide it from her husband and his family. She’d be sick, they’d ask questions and she hadn’t it in herself to lie. She didn’t have it in herself to pretend anymore. And for the first time ever since they had gotten together, Oliver had pushed her to do something. He had always respected her decisions concerning her marriage, never asking her to do anything, just suggesting things from time to time. This time though, he had asked. This time he had pushed. And she had let him do it because she understood where he was coming from.

Oliver wasn’t comfortable with her being away from him now that he knew she was pregnant. She was carrying his child, and he had told her that he wanted to go through everything with her. And yes, apparently that included the mornings spent bent over the toilet because the contents of her stomach just couldn’t stay put. He had told her that he wanted to fall asleep every night with his hand on her stomach and wake up with her, with them, still tucked safely against him. She knew she was his only link to their child. Things were different for her, she was the one carrying the baby after all. Oliver, on the other hand, had to go through her to get to their child. She couldn’t blame him for wanting to be as close to her as possible. She really couldn’t and she didn’t.

She heard Shia barked when someone opened the front door and then closed it. She heard Ray drop his things in the hallway, he always did that although she had told him not to. She listened carefully to the sound of his steps in the stairs and to the softer sound of him taking off his tie and his suit jacket.

“Felicity! Fancy seeing you here, in our room.” He greeted her when he walked in, dropping the clothes he had just taken off on a chair.

Her heart skipped a beat in her chest. This was it. This was the moment. She was leaving him. For good.

“It’s _your_ room,” she reminded him.

“It’s ours,” he corrected. “Just because you’ve been sleeping somewhere else doesn’t mean that this isn’t our marital bed anymore.”

“This was never our marital bed and you know it. We’ve never had sex on it!”

He arched an eyebrow. “Of course we haven’t. You’ve been sleeping in a guest room for months now.”

She shook her head but choose to stop that argument before it truly started. It was pointless. “I need to talk to you,” she stated, her voice steady, despite her nervousness.

“Yeah, sure. But first thing first, you should know that my parents’ flight has been delayed. They won’t be here in time to have lunch here.”

She nodded. She wouldn’t be here to have lunch here as well. “I won’t be here for lunch either,” she said.

“That’s okay,” he told her. “I need to go through the notes I took during the conferences. I probably won’t eat a proper meal.”

“Actually, there is something else I’d like you to focus on.” She pointed at the carton folder.

“What’s that?” He asked curiously.

“Papers,” she replied, getting up. “I want a divorce Ray.”

He blinked several times. “You’re kidding, right?” She gave him a look. He frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“I… I’ve fallen out of love with you Ray. I am unhappy here with you, or rather, without you, you know since you’re almost never here. I can’t keep on living like this. I am sorry but… I just can’t.”

“I don’t understand,” he said, looking utterly confused. “Did I do something wrong?”

She stared at him for a second. His voice was calm and he sounded genuinely curious. It was like he couldn’t wrap up his mind around the idea that he had done something wrong. Well, if he couldn’t fathom that, she’d gladly help him.

“You used me Ray. You used me to rekindle the reputation of your company. I didn’t realise it back then, but that’s probably the reason why you asked me to marry you. Because you knew that our engagement would give people something that wasn’t the scandal to talk about.” She paused for a second, steeling her spine. It was harder than she had thought. “Actually, you still use me Ray. You make decisions for me, you expect me to be just a pretty wife, one that wears the clothes and the jewels you choose for her. You don’t respect my personality or my intelligence. I’m pretty sure that you don’t know any of my clients or what I am currently working on. I am also pretty sure that you don’t care.” She shook her head. Even now, after she had gotten time to get used to it, the truth sounded terrible to her ears. “You just… need me to look pretty and to compliment you,” her voice trembled slightly and she bit her lower lip to stop it. “I am just an object. One that you can take out of your closet when you need it and then put back in the same closet when you’re done playing with it. It took me a while to see it but now I do. You’re not the only one to blame for that though. I’m as responsible as you, because I let you. I let you strip me from my independence and my own will. I let you lose myself, and the person I could have been, to let the person you so desperately needed me to be shine and for that I am sorry too. I should have never let you have such a power over me.” She took a deep breath to steady herself. “Now, here I stand. I want that power back. I want my freedom. I want a divorce.”

He stared at her for a while, and he didn’t look affected by what she had just told him. He blinked once and reached out for the folder. He took the papers out of it and went through them quickly. Then, he put them back in the folder and looked up. “What do you want?”

She blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Well, you made it pretty clear that you don’t want to stay married to me anymore and that I am a terrible husband.” He paused. “I’ll give you that there are some things that I could have done better. Now, to be truly honest, I don’t want you to leave. I still need you. So, what do you want? What can I give you that will make you stay?”

She blinked again, speechless. His audacity was making her blood boil. His coldness and detachment made her clench her fist. She had a hard time processing what was happening. She had told just him that she wanted a divorce and that was his answer? She couldn’t really say that she hadn’t seen it coming though. She had prepared herself to something like that, but still! His attitude was insufferable! He looked more like a businessman who had to negotiate an important contract than like a husband who was being left by his wife.

“Do you want more money? Clothes? Cars? A private island perhaps?” He suggested. “Your price will be mine, just tell me what it is.”

She shook her head in disbelief, her eyes wide open. How dared he? “I don’t want anything from you Ray. You can keep your money, and your shiny cars. I don’t care about them.”

“What do you care about then? What do you want?” He insisted.

_Oliver._

_Our baby._

“I want to be happy,” she shot back. “And that’s precisely why I am leaving.”

“You haven’t said anything before, except for that little incident in July and that other incident in August. Why are you saying something now? Why are you doing this to me?!” He said, his voice louder than before.

“Why am I doing this to you?” She repeated, absolutely scandalised. “Why am I doing this to you?!” She said it again, louder. How dared he? How fucking dared he? It wasn’t something that she was doing to him. It was something that she was doing for her. And for her baby. And for her baby’s father. For her family. “Well, only because you leave me all the time. You leave me to go to work, to conferences across the country, to business dinners, to meetings with your partners! You’re almost never home and when you do come back it’s always so late we don’t actually see each other! You miss anniversaries, birthdays and dinners. You don’t care about me, about my life and my job. You always expect me to bend, to change my plans so that they’ll fit your own. All you care about is you and your precious company.” She paused. “I am done being the third person in this relationship. I am leaving.”

“I won’t let you go, I won’t let you humiliate me like this,” he hissed, his anger affecting his breathing, an accusative forefinger pointed at her.

“It doesn’t have to be a humiliation Ray. If you just let me go, everything will be just fine.”

He shook his head. “No. You’re my wife, do you hear me? MINE! You’re supposed to stand by _my_ side! For better or for worse, does that ring a bell to you?!”

The words stung. “Ray,” she sighed. “Those words don’t mean anything to me anymore. I have nothing to do with the young girl who pronounced them three years and a half ago.” She paused. “I am not your wife anymore. We’re not even a couple anymore, just two strangers sharing a name and a house.”

“Then, let’s try to fix things between us.”

She shook her head. “I already tried to fix things between us Ray. You always pushed me away. Now it’s too late for you to be sorry.”

“I really want to fix things Felicity! I’d do anything.” He pleaded with her, taking a step toward her. She took a step back.

“But for the wrong reasons. You don’t want me to stay because you love me. You want me to stay because of who we are in the eye of the world.”

“I love these persons.”                                                     

“I don’t. They aren’t us. And if you truly wanted to fix things between us, it would have been the first thing that you would have suggested when I told you about my desire to leave. What did you do instead? You offered to buy me. Well, guess what? I am not a _doll_. You can’t buy me.”

He remained silent for a while, his blue eyes intensely studying her. She shifted on her feet, feeling uncomfortable under his burning gaze. “It’s because of Queen, isn’t it?”

She arched an eyebrow, trying to look as if she had no idea what he was talking about. “What?”

“You’re leaving me because of him, right? The two of you are having an affair?”

She didn’t confirm it. But she didn’t deny it as well and it seemed to be enough for him. “Like I said Felicity, I won’t let myself be humiliated by you.”

“Then let me go.”

“What if I let you keep on seeing him?” He suggested. “You can keep seeing him as much as you want, discreetly of course, and remain my wife.”

Once again, she stared at him, her eyes wide open in surprise, her mouth hanging open but with no words coming out. Speechless. She was utterly speechless. “I am pregnant,” she whispered. And after the words had escaped her lips, it was his turn to be left utterly speechless.

“Excuse me?” He asked, looking and sounding completely gobsmacked.

“I am pregnant,” she repeated, her hand tightening around the fabric of her dress.

“Pregnant. With his child.”

“Well, obviously it’s not yours!” She said.

“This is not okay Felicity!” He yelled, making her jump in surprise. “This is not okay at all. Once this… this thing goes out, everyone in this city will know that you cheated on me with him.” He paused, shaking his head like a maniac, as if it was going to make the situation less real. He started pacing, his eyes burning with anger. “Everyone we’ll know that my wife got while she was still married to me! And by who? Oliver Queen of all people!” In his anger, he kicked a shelf. An old vase fell and shattered on the floor, making Felicity take a step back from him.

“Have you even think of what they are going to say once your condition is public knowledge?” He spit out, his voice bitter and furious. “Of what they will say, think, assume about me? Have you think of it? Do you even care?”

“As a matter of fact, no I don’t,” she said, calmly, trying to calm her racing heart by breathing slowly. “They can say whatever they want, I know the truth and that’s the only thing that matters.”

“I can’t believe I am going to say this but you were right! You were so, so right!” He chuckled bitterly, shaking his head again. He was breathing heavily, his pupils were blown and he kept clenching and unclenching his fist. She had never seen him so tense before. “I should have listened to you, we should have never left San Francisco to move in here. You would have never met him and all this mess could have been avoided,” he added, pointing accusingly at her stomach.

“Our marriage started sinking before we moved in here and we both know it. Don’t try to pin this shipwreck on Oliver’s back. If anything, he saved my life.”

“Ah Felicity, always the dramatic one!”

She laughed, coldly. “I am not the dramatic one in this room,” she shot back.

“This is not okay, Felicity. I won’t let you humiliate me like this. I won’t let you go.” He paused for a second, stopping his pacing as well. She took another step back, slightly afraid of the look in his eyes. “Actually, you being pregnant is a good thing. It’s definitely something that will benefit the company’s image.”

She frowned. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I am talking about the fact that you are not going to leave me. I can’t let you do this to me, to my company. Besides, we both know that _Ollie_ Queen isn’t a big fan of commitment so really, I am doing you a favour. You are going to stay with me and that illegitimate child of yours is going to be ours.”

Felicity had a hard time to process what she had just heard. “Do you even hear herself?” She eventually asked her voice lower than before, slightly distorted by the fire that had started in her veins. “You’re crazy Ray! And if you think that you can keep me and my baby here with you then let me tell you this: your thinking could not be more wrong on that matter.”

“Oh really? What if I decided to terminate all my contracts with Queen Consolidated? Their financial situation was precarious, that’s why we decided to work together in the first place. If I leave them, things will get ugly again very soon. You wouldn’t want to be the cause of that now, would you?”

She shook her head, astonished by the audacity of him. “I don’t believe you.”

“Suit yourself! Now, maybe we could talk about that consulting business of yours. Leave me and I’ll ruin your reputation. One word from me and you’ll never find anyone to work with in the entire country ever.”

“I highly doubt that you’re that influent,” she shot back, her arms crossing over her chest, as if to protect herself.

“And let’s talk about your mother, the lovely Donna Smoak. I can make a few calls and have her fired from her waitress job in Vegas. You know that the Caesar’s owner is one of my father’s friends. Everyone will hear about your mother, her sultry dresses and her provocative attitude that made her lose her job. One look at you and your indiscretion and they’ll know that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and that you’re just another greedy slut who slept her way to the top, first with me then with Oliver Queen when I wouldn’t let you trap me with a baby.” He paused, his anger flooding his eyes, deforming the features of his face. His voice was distorted by his emotions, making his insults sound like they had been spit out in the most despising way. “Now, that I think about it, maybe that’s the reason why you father left in the first place…”

She didn’t know she was slapping him before she heard the sound of her hand hitting the perfectly smooth skin of his cheek. Ray took a step back, his hand coming up to protect his cheek as she stared at her hand, horrified.

She quickly got her composure back though, his words still fresh on her mind, the new brand on her heart still burning and throbbing, feeding the fire that had started in her veins when he had said that he’d take her and her child. Her fear and pain melted away, consumed by the anger that was flooding her veins, turning her blood into liquid fire.

“Now you listen to me and you listen very carefully. You know nothing about Oliver Queen or my relationship with him. You may think that you’re superior to him because you own some tech degrees and you were given some prestigious prizes? Well, guess what? He is ten times the man you are! There is more love and kindness in one inch of his body than there is in your whole being. He cares more about people that you ever will in your whole life and he doesn’t need to lie or to hide behind a mask for people to like him. He is genuine, attentive and good where you are fake, selfish and bad and I will not let you insult him in front of me!” She paused for a second to take a deep breath and he took that opportunity to look away from her.

“DON’T YOU DARE looking away from me now, I’m not done talking!” She yelled. Never in her life had she been that mad. Ray had gone too far. He had for a while now and she was done letting him get away with his malice.

“If you try anything that could lead me to lose my job or that could hurt my mother, I’ll call the journalists and I’ll tell them everything I know about you and your family. I’ll tell them that your mother tried to ask for a divorce and that you father scared her so much she just gave up on the idea. I’ll tell them that you threatened me as well. I’ll tell them how manipulative you are, what you did to me, how you treated me. The PR speeches you forced me to read? The clothes you chose for me? Your way of playing with my fears of abandonment and trust issues? That’s mental abuse Ray and that could cost you an awful lot. You want to take me down? Be my guest! But keep in mind that I’ll make sure you fall with me and that I don’t mind falling. I happen to have someone that will help me get back on my feet. I am not sure that you can say the same thing.”

She grabbed her purse and threw it over her shoulder, without giving him enough time to say anything else to her. “You better sign the papers today, you’ll spare the both of us a lot of time.” She walked toward the entrance of his room and stopped at the door. “Oh and for your information, as long as there is a breath left in my body, you’ll never do as much as lay an eye on my child.” She paused for a second, letting her words sink in. “Just sign the damn papers Ray and when you are done, go to Hell!”

With that, she left the room. He didn’t call her back. She didn’t even hear him move.

“Shia,” she called once she was in the hallway. She barked once and then happily ran toward her. They both got out of the house. For good.

 

* * *

 

Oliver was waiting for her at his building’s front door. He was lying against the wall, his hands tucked in his jean pockets, his hair messy because of the wind. He looked relaxed but the turmoil in his eyes betrayed his nervousness.

The moment that she saw him, everything came back and hit her _hard_. Her conversation with Ray became a noise so loud that even the excited thrumming of her heart at the sight of the man she loved couldn’t cover. She got out of her car, Shia hot on her trail. A smile lighted up Oliver’s face when he saw her. He opened his arms for her and she didn’t hesitate. She slipped into his arms, letting him hug her tightly against his chest.

“Are you okay?” He whispered.

She broke down at the sound of his voice. A river of tears started flowing down her cheeks.

“Felicity? What happened with Ray? Did he hurt you?”

She shook her head. “Just with his words,” she mumbled against his chest. “Can we talk about it inside?”

He nodded, taking her hands to lead her inside. Shia calmly followed them. She was used to Oliver’s company now and Felicity would even dare to say that she liked him. When they went out in the park to play with her, she’d always bring the ball they had been throwing away for her back to him.

Once they were inside, they both settled down on the couch, Shia at their feet. Felicity took off her heels and gladly accepted the box of tissues he dropped onto her lap.

She wiped her eyes with one, breathing heavily through her nose to try and stop the flow of tears that was flooding her face. Oliver held onto her free hand tightly, rubbing soothing circles against the palm of it, kissing her pulse from time to time. Eventually, his scent, his warmth and his closeness helped her calm down. She stopped crying and breathing became easy again. The pain that she felt in her heart was not burning anymore. It was just a dull ache, one that wouldn’t leave easily.

“You okay?” Oliver eventually asked. “Physically speaking, I mean,” he quickly added, noticing the tension in her muscles.

She shook her head. “My back’s been killing me lately,” she confessed.

Oliver frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked softly, turning her around so that her back was to him.

“You were worried enough already.”

She heard him sigh as he put his hand on her back and rubbed it gently, easing the small knots through the fabric of her dress and relieving her from some of the tension. She sighed softly, leaning back against him. He didn’t let her rest her back against his chest though, keeping some distance between them to allow him to keep rubbing her back.

“I love your back rubs,” she whispered after a while, feeling slightly better, her conversation with Ray turning into a whisper at the back of her head.

“I know you do,” he whispered back, just as softly. “How long has your back been hurting you?”

She didn’t really remember. “A few days. I’ve been really stressed lately, for obvious reasons, and I haven’t gotten a lot of sleep…” She paused. “I am sure that’s nothing a good night of sleep with you won’t cure.”

“If it doesn’t get better, we’ll call your doctor, okay?”

She spun her head to glance at him and nodded reassuringly. “Okay.”

She knew he was worried. She was worried too, but not nearly as much as she was. This, was how Oliver loved. He loved by caring and protecting, by making sure that his loved ones were okay. And they had yet to know if either she or their baby was okay because this situation was new to them both. They didn’t know if the pain she was feeling was normal or not, hence the worry. But what Felicity knew though was that she was aching but she wasn’t feeling _bad._ And that was why she wasn’t worrying the way he was.

“So… How did it go with Ray?” He asked again, something in his voice telling her that he was being apprehensive of her answer.

She told him everything. The more she talked, the more she felt him tense up behind her. When she was done, he had stopped rubbing her back, too busy clenching and unclenching his fist in anger.

“HE SAID WHAT?” Oliver shout when she told him what Ray had said about him and their baby. “I can’t believe he suggested something like that!” He said, getting on his feet. “This is real life, not some kind of TV-shows with twisted storylines!”

Felicity watched him pace, hugging a pillow to her chest tightly.

“I also can’t believe that he said that to you, that he dared to threaten your mother, that he brought up your father.” He sank down on his knees in front of her. He grabbed her hands and kissed her knuckles tenderly. “I am so sorry baby. He’s a real asshole. Don’t let any of the things he said settle in that beautiful brain of yours. He is wrong, about everything.”

She nodded, tears welling up at her eyes again. “I know that.” She sighed, looking away from him, unable to hold up his intense blue gaze that was, as always, scanning her soul, looking for how she truly felt. “I just hope that he’ll come to his senses and that he will sign the papers. He made it pretty clear that he didn’t want another scandal and...”

“He’ll provoke one if he doesn’t sign the papers,” Oliver completed. “I know.” He pinched his nose, sighing in frustration. He was still very much angry, the tension in his shoulders not going unnoticed.

“He’s probably signing them as we speak,” she told him, trying to sound cheerful. She didn’t know who she was trying to convince though, him or her.

Her weak attempt at getting him rid of his worry failed. He sat back down next to her taking her hands. “We just have to wait and see what happens now,” he said. The idea obviously didn’t fit well with him, he was fidgeting in his seat.

“Was he right about QC? What if he decides to terminate his contracts with the company?”

Oliver shrugged. “I know that the company has had troubles in the past. But my father didn’t really tell me about it. You know how he thinks that I don’t care about the company because I refused to become CEO after him.” She nodded, he sighed. “Anyway, I don’t know if that’s true anymore or what would happen if Ray decided to terminate his contracts.”

“I am worried Oliver,” she told him, chewing on her lips.

“I know. But unfortunately, until we tell my parents about us, there is nothing that we can do about it.” He shook his head, his anger obviously not wearing off and if anything, coming back stronger than ever. She saw him close his eyes and inhaling deeply, obviously trying to calm down. “I just want to punch him in the face for even suggesting that I’d ever let him claim my child. Who does he think he is? How dare he? I am Oliver freaking Queen, and he is nothing but an asshole with no balls and a way too big ego!” He almost yelled the last part, getting up on his feet again, and Felicity bit on her lip. She had never seem him that angry before. There was a fire in his eyes, one that she had never seen but one that told her he’d do anything to make sure that she and their baby were safe. It shouldn’t have, but it stirred something inside her, making her feel both relieved and safe.

She held out a hand for him to take and he indulged her, squeezing her fingers lately.

“Come and sit down next to me Oliver freaking Queen. There will be no punching my stupid future ex-husband today. Or tomorrow. Or any day, really. We’re better than that.”

“Are we now? Didn’t you slap him across the face?”

“It was in the heat of the moment…” She sighed. “Now, please sit back down. You’re making my head spin with all your pacing.”

He let out a frustrated breath and sat down next to her. “I really want to punch him. He deserves it.”

“I know,” she agreed. “But I don’t want you to give him any reasons to cause us more troubles, okay?”

“I really want to kick his ass. The things he said… Damn, I should have been here with you.”

She gave him a look. “Oliver,” she said simply.

“I am sorry babe, but how can you expect me to be okay with what he said and just let go?”

“I am not expecting you to do any of that, just… Don’t do anything stupid, something that you’ll regret later.”

“I can assure you that I won’t regret kicking his ass. Repeatedly.”

Again, she gave him a look. “Baby’s ears!” She reminded him.

“I am pretty sure that our baby doesn’t have ears yet.”

“Still!” She insisted. “Watch your words. I don’t want it to think that it’s okay to kick people’s butt. Or mommy’s insides for what it’s worth.”

A smile tugged at Oliver’s lips. “I can’t wait for it to start kicking.”

Felicity groaned – she wasn’t looking forward the sleepless nights that would certainly come with the kicks – but smiled back nonetheless. “I can’t wait either.”

She smiled softly but her heart wasn’t really there. She was not feeling nearly as good as she had thought she would once she’d have left Ray.

Sighing, they both curled up on his couch. Her head fell on his shoulder, his arm securely wrapped around her waist. She heard him whisper things about her stuff in her car. She told him they’d get them later and that she just wanted to close her eyes for a second. She was asleep within minutes.

 

* * *

 

She woke up when he shifted next to her. Her eyes fluttered opened, heavy with sleep.

“Sorry,” he whispered softly against her hair. “My arm was getting numb. That genius of brain of yours is kind of heavy…”

She frowned, trying to adjust her position against him. “Don’t be mean…” She protested weakly.

He chuckled, pressing a kiss to her temple. The gesture brought her closer to consciousness. She stretched, the dull ache back in her back. Her wince didn’t go unnoticed.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, concern filling his voice.

“Stiffened,” she replied, her voice croaky.

“I am sorry I didn’t move you. I didn’t want to wake you.” She nodded. “How about you go take a shower? Maybe some hot water will help with the pain.”

“Yeah that sounds like a great idea. Will you be joining me?” She asked, a small smile on her lips.

“How about I go get your stuff from your car instead?”

“Yeah about that… Don’t freak out but I have _a_ _lot_ of clothes.”

He huffed back a laugh. “You clearly don’t know who my sister is…”

She frowned at the mention of Thea. Oliver caught it. “What?”

She hesitated, playing with the hem of his T-shirt to distract herself. “We haven’t told her yet…”

“Yeah… I think it’s best if we keep it from her for a little while. At least until we talk to my parents. She’ll be so thrilled when she knows, and I’m afraid she might… well, you know Thea.”

Felicity nodded. The youngest Queen could be a bit too enthusiastic sometimes.

“So shower?” Oliver asked, once again.

She nodded, the thought of hot water enough to make her feel a bit better.

“And once we’re both done, we’ll talk about our plans for Thanksgiving over lunch,” he added. “And before you say it, no, staying in bed all day, as tempting as it is, is not possible.”

She pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re no fun.”

“That’s too bad because you’re stuck with me from now on,” he teased her, pecking her lips once as they got up.

She shook her head. “You’re stuck with me Queen, not the other way around,” she told him on her way to the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

When she walked out of the shower, wrapped in his big and fluffy towel – although he hated when she did that – she found her suitcases in his room. They’d have to find some time to put her clothes in his closet. She traded the dress she had been wearing for her head-to-head with Ray for a pair of jeans which were way more comfortable. She put on the necklace that Oliver had gotten her for her birthday, humming happily when the cold silver brushed against her skin.

“Did you use my towel again?” Oliver asked when she came back to the kitchen, a small package she had retrieved from her suitcase hidden under her pullover.

“Maybe, maybe not, who knows?” She teased, winking at him as she sat down on a stool in front of the kitchen island.

He sighed focusing back on the food in front of him. “Tell me that you hung it up at least.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Of course. Leaving a damp towel on my side of the bed is more your style mister!”

He made them lunch and they ate, talking lightly as they did. Felicity pouted at the sight of so many vegetables in her plate. “We’re so gonna eat pepperoni pizza tonight,” she mumbled.

Oliver chuckled. “You need to eat healthily.”

“Pizza is healthy, thank you very much mister.” She replied before swallowing another mouthful of salad.

Oliver chuckled, shaking his head lightly. She tilted her head, watching that perfect smile of his that always melted her insides in a second.

“What?” He asked, feeling her gaze on him.

“Nothing,” she replied, shrugging.

“You’re staring.”

“I am indeed, does it bother you?”

He shook his head no. “But I want to know why though.”

Putting her fork back on the table, she reached for the package she had hidden earlier under her pullover. “I’ve got something for you,” she told him, handing him the package.

“What’s that?” He asked, his brow arched.

“You’ll see when you open it.” She gave him a nod of encouragement, waving toward the package.

He ripped it open and with a bright smile on his lips, he reached for the white baby’s onesie she has had custom made for him.

“ _My mommy loves my daddy_ ,” Oliver read out loud, his voice low, as it often was when he was feeling overwhelmed. He looked up, his blue eyes meeting hers and when she saw his love shining brightly at her, it drew a happy and content smile on her lips.

“After I had my first appointment with my gynaecologist, the reality of it all struck me,” she started to explain. “That’s when I truly realised that I was pregnant and that I needed to stop running away from it. That I needed to get my act together, you see? I called all my clients that day, telling them that I’d have caught up with all my work by the end of the week – which I did by the way, courtesy of my sleepless nights. And I also ordered this. For you.”

“I – I don’t know what to say,” Oliver said, staring at the onesie in disbelief.

Felicity smiled proudly. She had made Oliver Queen speechless. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“Yes, I do,” he insisted. “Thank you.”

“After all the things that you’ve done for me, I think that I am the one who should be thanking you.”

He brushed a strand of her hair away from her forehead. “You’re worth everything.”

“No, _we_ are,” she corrected, gesturing at the both of them. “Together.”

“I like the sound of that,” he said, leaning down to kiss her.

 

* * *

 

When they were done eating, they did the dishes together. Felicity cleaned and Oliver dried. He didn’t offer her coffee, for which she was grateful. Her body craved her usual dose of caffeine but her stomach couldn’t stand the smell, even when it was decaf. They were on their way to his bedroom when someone knocked at the door.

Felicity groaned, her forehead falling onto Oliver’s chest. This day was supposed to be just about them. They were supposed to settle down together, to figure things out. Was some privacy really too much to ask for?

“The answer is yes apparently,” Oliver said.

“Out loud?”

He nodded. “Stay here, I am going to take care of it.”

She watched him leave, leaning against his room’s door. She heard him open the door and her heart skipped a beat when she heard Moira Queen’s voice say.

“Good afternoon Oliver,”

“Mom? What are you doing here? I thought that you and dad were flying to Saint Bart this afternoon.”

“We’ve changed our plans,” she explained, really briefly. “Is Felicity here?” Moira asked. “The three of us need to talk.”

Felicity blinked several times. That didn’t sound good. She padded toward the loft’s front door, finding both Oliver and his mother standing near the still opened door.

“Felicity,” Moira greeted her. Her tone wasn’t cold, her eyes weren’t hard on her but Felicity still felt the thick tension that was lying between them.

“Mrs. Queen,” she replied, her eyes falling on Oliver, seeking his help.

Her voice seemed to help him get his mind back in the game. He closed the door and turned around, to help his mother take off her coat. He put it on a chair, as well as her purse.

“Can I get you anything mom?” He offered. “Some coffee, some tea, a tisane perhaps?”

“A tea would be nice, thank you.”

Oliver, always thoughtful, also poured a cup of tea for Felicity. The three of them sat down around the wooden table in his living-room, the steaming cups put in front of the two women.

“I am guessing that the two of you know why I am here,” Moira eventually said, after an awkward silence.

Felicity and Oliver’s eyes locked. They had always been going at reading each other, this time was no exception. They were in this together. They could handle this.

“Ray Palmer visited us at the mansion today,” Moira said. “He had a very interesting story to tell,” she went on. “Apparently, his wife asked for a divorce when he came back from his business trip. She told him that she was pregnant with another man’s baby and that this other man happened to be our son. I assume that your presence here Felicity means that this not just a story. It is true.”

“Yes, it is,” Felicity confirmed, holding her blue gaze, that reminded her so much of her son’s.

Moira, remaining perfectly calm, brought her cup of tea to her lips. She took a sip, put the cup back on the table and then said, her voice even. “I want the two of you to know that I came over against my husband’s opinion. I won’t lie to you Oliver, your father is mad at you. I have never seen him this mad before. Ray wants us to “fix” things and if we don’t, he’ll terminate his contract with Queen Consolidated. The partnership that had made both our companies thrived for the past year, will be over.”

Felicity sighed heavily, her forehead falling into the palm of her hand. She hadn’t thought that Ray would go that far. She hadn’t thought that he would follow through with his threats. She hadn’t thought that he would be able to do something like that. “I am so sorry…” She started.

“Don’t apologise,” Oliver told her, his face blank, his anger obvious in his eyes. “It’s not your fault.”

“Oliver…” She protested.

“Felicity!” He cut her off. She frowned at his outburst. “This isn’t your fault. There is nothing wrong with you wanting to divorce him. He’s the one making things complicated,” he explained. “He says he wants to avoid another scandal, but he is doing everything to get a new one.”

“There may be nothing wrong with wanting a divorce but there surely is something wrong with adultery,” Moira pointed out.

“Mom…” Oliver started, his tone wearier than before.

“Oliver, listen to me. I didn’t come here to lecture you about the choices that you’ve made. I came here because I want to hear your version of the story. As much as I respect Mr. Palmer, he is not my son. Now talk to me. The two of you.”

Felicity glanced at Oliver who told her to start with a sign of his head. “Well, Mrs. Queen, you should know that we never planned for things to happen this way. I asked for the divorce’s papers before I even knew I was pregnant. The plan was to divorce, to let some time pass and then start dating and eventually become official.” Felicity smiled slightly at Oliver, who smiled back at her, with that small smile of his that always made her feel better. “The pregnancy changed everything. We had to think about what was best for the baby and we agreed that it was for us to be together throughout the whole thing. That’s why I confronted Ray with the papers today. I was hoping that he’d just accept things the way they were.”

“And he obviously didn’t,” Moira said.

Felicity nodded.

It was easier to talk to her after that. They told her their story, keeping the most intimate details for themselves but telling her enough nonetheless to make her understand that they were serious about this. This wasn’t just a fling. They loved each other and wanted to be together. Undoubtedly, their relationship hadn’t had the best start. They knew that but they didn’t regret anything.

They spent the whole afternoon talking and when they were done, Felicity felt exhausted, the pain in her back stronger than ever because she had sat down on a not so comfortable chair for too long. Moira promised that she would talk to Robert and that they’d look for a solution, the four of them together. She didn’t mention anything about Queen Consolidated financial situation, which made Felicity feel a bit better. Surely, if something had been wrong, she would have told them. Moira Queen wasn’t known for sugar coating things.

After she was gone, they both collapsed on Oliver’s bed, sighing heavily.

“How about we go out for a walk with Shia?” He suggested. “I could use some fresh air.”

“I’d rather stay here if you don’t mind. My back’s killing me again…”

Oliver gave her a small smile and kissed her forehead tenderly. “Unpack some of your stuff while I am gone?”

She groaned more than spoke her agreement.

“And Felicity?”

“Yeah?”

“You can even start with that ugly poncho of yours!” He ducked to avoid the pillow that she threw at him and winked at her playfully before leaving.

She sat down on the bed after he was gone, eyeing his closet critically. She reached for a suitcase and unpacked some of her clothes. She found that she liked the sight of her dresses hanging next to his shirts, of her coloured jeans next to his darker ones. She put her toiletries in the bathroom and her tablet on the bedside table next to her side of the bed.

That made her pause.

It was her side of the bed.

It wasn’t just his room anymore. It was hers too. They were going to both live here, together.

Her heart clenched in her chest at the thought. This… This was what she had wanted for a while now.

Her. Oliver. Them.

Together.

 

* * *

 

“So about Thanksgiving…” Felicity started, setting her empty plate back on the coffee table in front of his couch. She had won the pizza argument without having to fight about it. Oliver had even wanted to open a bottle of red wine but since she couldn’t drink, hello other perks of being pregnant, he hadn’t. Drinking alone was no fun, according to him.

“How about we spend the day in bed?” He suggested.

She chuckled. “As tempting as it is, it is not possible. I am sure that you had plans before I dropped the baby bomb on you.”

He winced at her poor choice of words. “Yeah, Thea, Roy and I were planning to do something with Tommy and Laurel and Sara, her sister. Wanna be my plus one?”

Felicity rolled her eyes. “Your parents asked us to keep a low profile.”

“My mother asked us to keep a low profile,” he corrected. “And besides, it’s only going to be Thea, who already knows about us, Laurel, who knows that you wants to divorce Ray, Roy, who probably already knows as well, and Tommy, my best friend. Keeping a low profile with these people… It’s pointless.”

Felicity chewed on her lips. “What about Sara?”

“Sara is an old friend. You’ve already seen her actually, she works at _Verdant._ She is the barmaid.”

Felicity frowned, trying to recall _Verdant_ ’s barmaid’s face. “She is blonde, isn’t she?”

Oliver nodded. “So, will you be my plus one?” He asked again.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” she whispered softly. She was still feeling a bit nervous, but she could see that it meant a lot to him.

“Good! I’ll call Tommy to let him know that there will be a beautiful girl at my arm tomorrow.”

Felicity grinned and he leaned forward to kiss her. The feel of his lips against hers, after such an eventful day, jolted her body awake. She deepened the kiss immediately, her hands shooting up to cup his cheeks. He gave as much as he got, kissing her back with as much fervour. When they parted ways, they were both panting for air.

He got on his feet, walking away from her to make his call.

“Oliver,” she called him back. He turned around, Tommy’s number already dialled. “I love you,” she said.

“I love you too,” he mouthed, earning another grin from her.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, Felicity was lying on Oliver’s bed, wearing yoga pants and one of his black tee-shirts. She watched him as he got ready for bed and she couldn’t help but notice some stiffness in his movements. And when he turned to look at her, she saw wariness in his eyes, before he hid it behind a smile.

Tilting her head, she raised herself up on her elbows and considered him for a while before asking. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, why are you asking?” He replied, coming to lie down next to her.

“Well,” she moved so that her head could rest on his chest and went on, “because your mother told us some pretty heavy stuff this afternoon. And that you’ve been brushing off our conversation with her every time I tried to bring it up after you came back from your walk with Shia.”

“It’s nothing,” he assured her.

“Oliver, please,” she insisted. “Is it about your father?” She tried to guess. She knew they had a complicated relationship. And surely, hearing your mother tell you that your father was mad at you could shake up a person.

“Yeah,” he confessed, letting a deep breath out.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She felt him shrug under her. She realised that she wasn’t okay talking to him like this so she disentangled herself from him and sat down.

“There is nothing to talk about Felicity,” he told her. “It’s just that my dad is probably getting ready for bed as we speak, telling my mother how he wished he had had another son. There is nothing that we can do about that.”

“That’s where you wrong Oliver,” she told him, reaching for his hand. “We can do something about that. Hell, I am going to do something about it if you don’t. It is past time that your father accepts the man that you’ve become and if he can’t see for himself what a great man you are now then we’ll have to open his eyes.”

“Felicity…”

“No please, listen to me.” She paused for a second looking for the right words. “I get why your father is mad at us. Our relationship is putting his company in jeopardy. We need to do everything we can to preserve it now. I get it. But, what I don’t get is why he is so disappointed in you. Yes, you’ve made mistakes when you were younger so what? You’ve worked hard to change, you’ve started your own business and it’s thriving. Not so many people can say that. It is not fair to hold your past mistakes against you.”

“It’s okay Felicity, I’m used to it. He had other plans for me and…”

“And what? You decided to choose something else, something that would make you happy and it’s not okay? I am sorry Oliver but what’s not okay is you accepting this. I know that’s rich, especially coming from me, but I know you and you’re not the kind of guy who just accepts things so…”

“He is my father Felicity,” Oliver cut her off.

She frowned, understanding dawning upon her. “You think he is right, don’t you? You think that you’ve failed him?”

“I wouldn’t go as far as saying that but yes, I feel like I could have tried more. I could have tried to be more like him.”

“But you wouldn’t have been happy.”

“We can’t know that. I never really gave it a try.”

“And you never gave it a try because you knew it wasn’t you who you were. It still isn’t.” She squeezed his hand softly, sensitive to the pain and regret she could see shining in his eyes. She cupped his cheek with her free hand, caressing his stubble lovingly. “Oliver, you’re happy with what you do now and your father should accept it unconditionally. You shouldn’t even have to ask for his acceptance. He should give it to you, willingly.”

“This is not how Robert Queen acts I am afraid,” Oliver told her, asking.

“Well, this is not okay,” she stated stubbornly. Oliver seemed to be okay with his father’s disappointment in him. She wasn’t. He was a great man and she wanted everyone to know it.

Oliver frowned. “You’re a bit scary when you’re like that.”

She tilted her head. “Like what?”

“Like you’re ready to take down the world.”

She huffed back a laugh at his words. “I am not ready to take down the world. I am just ready to make sure people realise that my baby’s father is an amazing man.”

“Still! You look scary. Act like this around my father and he might forget about the whole Ray thing.”

She huffed back another laugh and lied down against Oliver again. One of his arms wrapped around her waist, and his hand found her hip.

“I love you Felicity,” Oliver whispered. She barely heard him, she was already half-asleep.

“Love you too,” she mumbled back.

“Goodnight.”

“Night’!”

 

* * *

 

“Felicity whatever bump you think is visible, isn’t,” Oliver told her for the umpteenth time.

“Are you sure?”

He sighed, a small smile curving his lips. “Yes, I am sure. You’re six weeks pregnant, not six months,” he reminded her.

Her shoulders felt limp as she looked at her reflexion in the mirror again. “I know… I just feel… I feel like I am different. Between the morning sicknesses, the fatigue, my new super sensitivity to smells and my breast… I feel different. Like someone’s taking over my body and messing up with it.”

Oliver wrapped his arms around her from behind, his big hands falling on her still flat stomach. He kissed her temple softly. “Our baby is indeed taking over your body and you shouldn’t worry about it.”

She chewed on her lips. “But what if I get sick once we’re there? What if they wonder why I don’t drink any alcohol? What if…?”

“Felicity, you’ve spent some time with them already, remember? They won’t ask questions.”

She shut her eyes, leaning against his chest. “I am sorry, I am just really worried…”

“I know, you’ve been tossing around for the biggest part of the night…”

She sighed. She had fallen asleep quickly the night before but she hadn’t slept well. She had had nightmares of QC flirting with bankruptcy with a creepier version of Ray’s laugh in the background. “I am sorry…”

“Hey, stop!” He said, his tone gentle. “I understand why you are worried. Hell, I am worried too! But I also think that we need to enjoy the good moments life has to offer us, such as a lovely Thanksgiving meal with our friends, in order to go through the rough days ahead of us.”

She opened her eyes again, a smile on her lips. He turned her around and kissed her.

“You always know what to say, don’t you?” She asked, after they parted ways.

“Yep, get used to it!”

She chuckled at his words, intertwining her fingers with his as they walked out of his room.

 

* * *

 

“Oliver, wh…” Tommy’s words died on his lips. “Felicity. Is she your plus one? Wait, don’t answer that. Of course she is.”

Felicity didn’t have to see Oliver’s face to know that his brows were also furrowed. “Of course?” She repeated, waiting for an explanation.

Tommy stepped aside to let them in. “Oliver called to say that he wouldn’t come alone. I was kind of looking forward to meet the girl.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “I should have known it would be you.” Felicity and Oliver just stared at him, baffled. “You should know that there is nothing that you can hide from me buddy, especially a secret as beautiful as her.” He punctuated his declaration with a playful wink at Felicity.

“Tommy, stop teasing them,” Laurel chastised him from the living-room. “And take off their coats instead.”

“I completely forget about my manners. I am sorry! Let me help with these Ollie, Felicity too!”

He took the bottle of wines they had brought from Oliver’s hands and the bouquet of flowers from Felicity’s and handed them to Laurel, who had come out to greet them.

“You’re a bit early. Sara called. She and Nyssa, Nyssa is Sara’s girlfriend Felicity,” Laurel explained for her, “are going to be late, their tyre’s burst,” she explained. “Roy and Thea aren’t here yet!” She added as the bell rang again. “Scratch that, they’re here now.”

Thea’s arrival was loud and cheerful. Her smile turned into a grin when she saw Felicity. She hugged her tightly, genuinely happy to have her here, among us.

And as she hugged her back, Felicity realised that she was genuinely happy too.

 

* * *

 

That night, Oliver and she lied in bed after he had given her one of his amazing back rubs, exchanging lazy kisses and talking. She smiled in wonder. This was her new normal. Oliver and her, in bed, kissing. She loved it.

“I had a good day today,” she whispered against his chest.

His arm wrapped around her squeezed her hip. “No more tossing around tonight then?” He teased her lightly.

“We’ll see about that…” She replied, her worries coming back to hit her, faster than the light.

“I think I have a solution. If you bother me too much, I’ll banish you on the couch.”

She chuckled at his teasing, grateful for his attempt to make her feel better. “I can’t help it Oliver… If your parents’ company gets in trouble because of me…”

“Stop right here!” He said, his tone suddenly more serious. “It’s on him, not you. He should be able to make the difference between his private life and his business…”

“But he doesn’t! That’s the problem. His private life serves his business and now your family is paying the price…”

“Fe-li-ci-ty,” Oliver said, pronouncing her name the way she liked, the way that turned her into a puddle of goo. “Stop worrying! We’ll figure it out. Together.” She sighed, distracting herself by patting his chest lightly. “I had a good day too today,” he added, gazing softly at her. “And I feel grateful to have you in my life.”

“I feel grateful to have you in my life too,” she added, closing her eyes as he tenderly kissed her forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	16. December 2016 part. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!!
> 
> Here's the new chapter! I hope that you'll enjoy it. Some of the things that happen here, like Ray's decisions in the end, will be justified in the next chapter December 2016 part. 2.  
> As always, I wanted to thank you for the support! You guys rock! :D
> 
> Happy reading! :)

The Polyvore sets :)

Doctor's office [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_15_doctors_office_felicity/set?id=189106392)

The law firm [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_15_at_law_firm/set?id=189119964) / [(Laurel)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_15_at_law_firm/set?id=189119472)

The talk [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapitre_15_at_queen_mansion/set?id=192460061)

 

* * *

 

 

December 2016 part 1.

 

Everything went from “not so bad” to “very bad” in record time.

Thanksgiving had been their last good day and Felicity was really glad that they had had it. When she felt low, when she couldn’t fall asleep at night, because her mind too busy torturing her with thoughts of their problems and nightmares, she thought about that day and how soon, days like this would be their everyday life.

Just like Moira had promised them, Felicity and Oliver soon found themselves talking with her and Robert, looking for a solution to the mess they all were in. The first few meetings between the two couples had been really tense. Robert was mad at the both of them and Moira was doing her best to calm him down and get him to be cordial in their presence. She was handling the news of the pregnancy better than her husband. She was thrilled to become a grandmother and was willing to do anything to protect her grandchild. Unfortunately, the news did not bring tears to her husband’s eyes if the way he had suggested that Felicity asked for a paternity test was any indication. After the words had left his mouth, Moira has asked Felicity to leave them alone the room and she didn’t know what happened between them after she closed the door but it surely couldn’t have been nice because when Moira walked out, her cheeks were red and her fists clenched. Thankfully, Robert had been smart enough to not say anything in Oliver’s presence. If he had, Oliver would have probably lost it and punched him in the face. Still, Robert’s words had hurt her and Oliver had felt it immediately when he had come home to her that night. And when he had asked her what had happened she had been unable to lie to him. A huge argument between the two men had started and if it wasn’t for Moira and Felicity they probably would have fought.

Two days later, they had met again, for a third meeting. The two men were still very much angry but Robert did apologise to Felicity for suggesting what he had. Oliver hadn’t relaxed, even after his father’s apology and Moira, being the smart woman that she was, has oriented the conversation toward their biggest problem: Ray.

He was threatening to terminate his contract with QC if Felicity didn’t come home to him. Robert was mad at Oliver and Felicity because his company had thrived during its partnership with PT. Losing it now, would be really bad for him. He really was mad at them and Felicity couldn’t really blame him for that. Because of them, his company was about to lose a precious partnership. Because of the decisions that they had made, his family’s legacy was going to pay a high price. She felt terribly guilty and that guilt was eating her alive.

Oliver saw it all, she had always had a hard time hiding things from him, and strongly disagreed with her. He wasn’t denying that their affair hadn’t been their smartest decision but firstly, he didn’t regret it – she didn’t either just to be clear – and secondly, he didn’t feel responsible for Ray’s reactions to the divorce. For him, it was Felicity’s right to want one and the fact that Ray was not able to accept it and even worse, that he was threatening his business partners, was only showing his true nature. Felicity didn’t really like that side of her ex-husband-to-be.

Robert was desperately looking for a way to appease Ray. He offered him to renegotiate their contracts, to his benefits. Ray said no. He didn’t want to let his wife go, and he kept saying she had to come back to him. He wasn’t going to let a new scandal tarnish his company’s image. That’s when Moira stepped up and explained to him that he was going to provoke one if he kept refusing to be reasonable. Oliver didn’t not react well at all when Moira’s attempt at talking to Ray failed. And Felicity couldn’t really blame him. The situation was impossible and frustrating as hell. Her very angry baby’s father – calling him boyfriend was too high-school like for her –let his anger out one night and said that if Ray kept refusing to sign the papers, they’d sue him to force him to. He said that they’d go to trial if they had to. Felicity wasn’t a big fan of the idea, she still hoped that a compromise could and would be find.

She thought a lot about why Ray was doing this. She tried to understand his reasons. Why was he refusing to sign the papers? Where was he going with this? It had struck her while during one of her sleepless nights.

Ray was sure that they would break. That Robert and Moira were going to send her back to him to protect their company. He was sure that they were like him, all business and no emotions. Even worse, he was sure that Felicity was going to break and crawl back to him. He was sure that she was going to be too scared of another scandal to risk having another one blowing up to their faces. He really thought that she was going to come home to him and agree to his crazy plan of claiming her child. He was delusional and completely out of his mind. He didn’t know her at all if he thought that she was going to let him anywhere near her baby and he most definitely didn’t know Oliver at all if he thought that he was going to let him claim _his_ child.

Now that she had realised that, she knew that no compromise could or would be found.

And as time passed, she realised that it was only a matter of days before people started realising that Felicity Smoak-Palmer had left her house and husband.

She really wasn’t looking forward to that day.

 

* * *

 

It happened exactly a week after Thanksgiving, on December the first. An anonymous source told the press that the tech world’s golden couple hadn’t spent the public Holiday together. The source also specified that Mrs. Smoak-Palmer herself had left the marital home with some of her stuff the day before Thanksgiving and hadn’t been home since. The article had wrecked Felicity, to say the least. All her efforts to keep things quiet had been ruined and she didn’t even know by who. She knew it had to be someone from the inside of her house. Maybe the gardener or one of the help. She had asked Nana, who had decided to keep working for Ray until she found a position somewhere else, to get her some information. She hadn’t been able to get anything, unfortunately, her loyalty to Felicity being a secret to no one in the house.

They tried to control the aftermath of that new blast as much as possible. With the unofficial help of QC’s PR team, Felicity released a statement confirming what had been said in the news and asking for the respect of her privacy. She moved to the Queen mansion under the cover of being close to her best friend, Thea Queen, during those complicated times for her. Oliver moved in with her as well, but obviously the press didn’t know about that. He still spent some time at his apartment. He didn’t want to raise anyone’s suspicions.

Felicity hated that she had to drag Thea into this mess. She hated herself for using their friendship like that but the young Queen hadn’t minded playing the part.

“I’m doing it for my family,” she had simply told her, pointing at her stomach and then at her whole being.

The thought of them as a family warmed Felicity’s heart but it wasn’t enough to make her feel better. She felt so sorry for dragging the Queen family into this mess. Things would have been so much easier if she hadn’t gotten pregnant, if Oliver and she hadn’t needed to be together immediately, to go through this together. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to wish for their baby not to be growing inside of her. Yes, she barely ate. Yes, she was sicker than before. Yes, she barely slept because of the pain in her back. But there was always something to make it all worth it. Whether it was when Thea gave the hugest and brightest smile ever when she learnt that she was going to be an aunt or when she laid in bed at night with Oliver, his hands covering her stomach, his lips pressing soft kisses on her firmer skin, each time in a different place as he was trying to figure out where the baby was exactly, there was always something to make the pain and the exhaustion worth it.

The plan changed, now that the scandal that Ray had so wanted to avoid was looming over them. It wasn’t about finding a compromise with Ray anymore. He couldn’t expect her to come back to him anymore, not now when the rumour of a separation was out and that she had confirmed it. No. Now, it was about waiting for Ray to sign the divorce’s papers. When they had come up with the new plan, Oliver had said that it wasn’t that bad that the rumour was out after all. If it could help them get Ray’s signature more quickly, then it was for the best.

Five days after the article was published, and to Felicity’s biggest surprise, Ray called Robert and told him that he was going over the papers and that he needed to consult his lawyer before signing them. That only increased Felicity’s worries. She was leaving him everything, why did he need to go over the papers?

 

* * *

 

She was still worrying, four days later, as Oliver and she were waiting to get into Doctor Duncan’s office. They had moved the appointment, originally planned in the middle of the afternoon, to the beginning of the evening. The last thing they needed was for them to be recognised by someone in the waiting room of her gynaecologist’s office.

“Felicity, will you stop worrying please?” Oliver asked, his voice strained and weary. It was probably the umpteenth time that he asked her to do so.

She chewed on her lips, shifting on her seat. “I can’t Oliver! It’s been four days. Four days. He should have gotten back in touch with us by now.”

“Maybe, maybe not. You know how busy he can be. Maybe he hadn’t had time to see his lawyer.”

She shook her head. “I understand his need to consult his lawyer, I really do. But why does he need to go over the papers? I’m leaving him everything. All he has to do is sign the damn papers!”

Oliver’s hands went to cover hers. He squeezed it softly. “Felicity, please, we’re here to see our baby for the first time. I’d appreciate if you could stop thinking about the divorce and Ray for the next hour.”

Her free hand grabbed the necklace he had offered her for her birthday, playing with it nervously. Their baby. They were going to see their baby for the first time and the thought instantly melted her worries away. “You always know what to say, don’t you?”

He smiled at her, his gaze softening. She knew the last two weeks had been hard for him too, despite his efforts at being the positive and optimistic one in their relationship. In top of all their problems, they still both had a job to do and while Felicity could work from the mansion – that was definitely a good thing considering that she spent at least three hours of her days bent over the toilet – Oliver couldn’t. And he and Tommy still had to deal with the aftermath of their half-burnt club in Coast City.

“Felicity,” Doctor Duncan called.

Both Felicity and Oliver jumped on their feet. “Doctor Duncan,” she greeted her, shaking her hand. “Good evening.”

“Good evening to you too Felicity.” She then turned around to shake Oliver’s hands, a confused frown on her face. “Mr. Queen,” she greeted him. Because of course she knew who he was without needing Felicity to introduce them to one another. “Let’s get into my office. I am guessing that we have a lot to talk about.”

Oh boy! She had no idea. They walked into her office, it hadn’t changed since Felicity’s last visit and the three of them sat down.

“So,” Felicity started, “I brought Oliver here today because he’s the baby’s father and since this is our first official pre-natal check-up I thought that he needed to be here, to help me answer all the questions you’ll be asking about both our families’ medical history.”

Doctor Duncan nodded. “It’s a good thing that Mr. Queen is here today, not only because I will indeed ask you a lot of questions, but also because I scheduled the first ultrasound.”

“We know,” Oliver said softly, reaching for Felicity’s hand. “I didn’t want to miss that.”

Doctor Duncan smiled. “It’s no wonder why,” she agreed. “Shall we get started?” She asked. They both nodded in approval. “Okay, so, first thing first, I want you to know Felicity that only two things truly matter to me: your health and the baby’s health. I don’t want to step out of any boundaries but well… There are questions that I will have to ask, in order to make sure that both you and your baby are okay.”

Felicity glanced at Oliver, who nodded softly. “We understand,” she replied, feeling ready to answer whatever questions Doctor Duncan would ask her.

Doctor Duncan smiled. “Good. I am not going to pretend that you’re wearing both your engagement ring and wedding band or that I haven’t been reading the news and instead I am going to ask you about your current marital status.”

“Separate,” she answered. “I have asked for a divorce.”

Doctor Duncan nodded. “So I’ve heard. How is it going?”

“Not that well,” she whispered, her worries coming back and hitting her _hard_.

“So, I’m guessing that you’re under a lot of pressure at the moment?”

Felicity nodded and Oliver added. “That would be an understatement. She’s been really worried lately and stressed.”

“My morning sicknesses have increased and I can barely sleep at night. And my back hurts, like a lot. I put it all on the stress.”

“Rightfully so,” Doctor Duncan agreed. “I know stress is inevitable in a delicate situation such as yours but it really concerns me, especially the effects of your morning sicknesses on your body.” Felicity tilted her head at her words. “I couldn’t help but notice that you look a bit slimmer than when I last saw you,” she explained. “How tall are you Felicity?” She asked, grabbing a calculator.

“5’5,” she told her. “Why?”

“I am trying to figure out what you BMI is.” She pressed a few buttons and said. “Okay, it should be 125.4 lbs. How much do you weigh?”

Felicity frowned, trying to recall when she had last weigh herself. “I think I was weighing 121 lbs in October.”

“Okay, that’s good. But again, I am more concerned with how much you weigh now.” Doctor Duncan said. She got on her feet and led Felicity toward a scale. 114.4 lbs. judging from the look on her doctor’s face, Felicity knew it wasn’t good.

“You’ve lost weight,” she stated as they sat back.

“I told you… My morning sicknesses have increased. They don’t stick to mornings anymore.”

“Felicity, weight loss isn’t that much of a problem at the beginning of a pregnancy. Some women do not take weight because their morning sicknesses are rather severe and that’s your case. My problem is that you’re not only sick because you’re pregnant but also because you’re stressed. You’ll have to be careful during the last month of your first trimester and make sure to gain some weight at the beginning of the second one, do you understand?”

“Yes doctor,” Felicity said, reassured by her words. Her weight loss wasn’t a problem. For now. “I know someone who’ll make sure that my weight is being watched thoroughly.”

“And that someone would be me,” Oliver added, squeezing her hand. He had taken it back again when she had sat back down.

Doctor Duncan smiled before going on with her questions. For a while, Felicity answered questions about her body – her period, her body’s reaction to the pregnancy, her personal medical story – and then about their sex lives. Those ones made her blush slightly but Doctor Duncan remained professional, listening carefully to what she had to say, taking down notes when it was needed. After that, she told them more about the pregnancy, what to expect, what to do and more importantly what to avoid. She started asking questions about their families and their medical history only when she was completely done with that part. Unfortunately, everything became tricky when Doctor Duncan realised that Felicity wasn’t talking about her father or his side of the family.

“What about your father?” She asked more directly. “Any medical problem I should know about?”

The usual twinge on her heart that always came whenever her father was mentioned had her close her eyes for a second, in order to gather herself. “My father left when I was eight and I know nothing about him or his medical history.”

“I see.”

She asked them a few more questions before saying. “You’re eight weeks pregnant now and I calculated your due date after our first meeting. Your baby should be born around July the 5th.”

Oliver smiled at Felicity but she didn’t smile back, her thoughts darkened by the reminder of her own birth. “What is it?” He asked.

“Doctor Duncan,” she said, “is preterm birth hereditary? Because I was born six weeks earlier.”

“Some searches, very preliminary, tend to say that yes, preterm birth, might run in families. Tell me more about your birth.”

“Well, my mother was working late in the casino and her water broke in the middle of her shift. She was, still is actually, a cocktail waitress.”

Doctor Duncan nodded, taking down a few notes. “I’ll check the length of your cervix regularly, just in case.” She paused. “You don’t have to worry Felicity, I promise I’ll make sure that your baby stays where it is the safest for as long as possible.”

Felicity nodded, comforted by her words. “Thank you doctor.”

Doctor Duncan smiled gently at her before saying. “Now, that I’m done harassing you with my questions, would you like to see your baby?”

“God yes,” they both breathed out in unison.

Doctor Duncan chuckled slightly. “Well, that didn’t sound eager at all.”

She led them to a small room, at the back of her office. Felicity recognised the ultrasound equipment and her heart skipped a beat in her chest. Excitement filled her veins as she found herself feeling really impatient. They were about to see their baby for the first time.

“I suggest that you take your shoes and pants off,” Doctor Duncan said.

She didn’t need to be told twice. Felicity undressed, faster than ever and lied down on the examination table. Oliver came to stand next to her, his blue eyes watching her carefully, his own shining brightly. He was feeling as excited as her. Doctor Duncan sat down on a stool and got closer to Felicity. She took her blood pressure before pushing her jumper away, exposing the slight curve of her stomach.

“The gel is a bit cold, I am sorry,” Doctor Duncan said before applying it on her lower abdomen. Felicity stiffened and reached for Oliver’s hand, seeking his warmth. Doctor Duncan brought a mouse device and put it directly on the gel, spreading it on her lower abdomen. Her eyes remained on the screen as she looked for the baby. Felicity did the same, her heart now pounding in her chest. Soon enough, they heard a rapid beat. Something tugged at Felicity’s heart. She knew what it was.

“It’s the baby’s heart,” she whispered, tightening her grip on Oliver’s hand.

Doctor Duncan nodded. “And that is your baby…” She pointed at a small blurred spot on the screen. “It’s about the size of a raspberry now,” she told them.

Felicity wanted to look up from the screen, to see Oliver’s reaction to the sight of her baby, but she couldn’t. She was frozen in place, her eyes unable to look away from the white spot on the screen, her ears filled with the staccato beat of their baby’s heart. Oliver’s voice reached her though, shattering her bubble in pieces, when he said.

“We’ve made that,” he whispered softly. “Felicity, can you believe it? This is our baby.”

Her lips trembled slightly, as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She felt Oliver’s thumb catch it. In that moment, all the pain, the stress from the last days, absolutely everything felt like it was just something far away, something from a distant past. In that moment, the only thing that mattered was the warm hand in hers and the whooshing sound of the ultrasound, which felt like a symphony to her ears. Her heart swelling up with love in her chest, she opened her eyes again and immediately looked for Oliver’s blue orbs. “I love you,” she whispered softly. Her heart felt so big in her chest she thought it was going to burst. She loved him, she loved their baby and she was ready to face whatever would come down their way.

“I love you too,” he whispered back softly and she saw everything she was feeling reflecting in his bright blue eyes. It did something to her, making her realise something really important. She loved him and he loved her. They were going to have a baby together and have everything that had both always wanted. Together. The thought was overwhelming, the idea of spending the rest of their lives together almost surreal.

But in that moment, as he was staring at her with his big blue eyes and that the sound of their baby’s heart, the sound of their love, was surrounding them, she knew with an unwavering certainty that they would make it.

Together.

Oliver blinked a tear of his own away and leaned forward to press a chaste kiss on her lips, aware of Doctor Duncan’s presence right next to them. When they parted ways, their bubble was broken but Felicity felt lighter and happier than she had in days. She was in love and pregnant and everything was going to be okay.

Docteur Duncan went on with the ultrasound and she told them what was visible on the screen, which parts of their baby were developing at the moment. It upper lip was forming and the tip of the nose they were going to spend hours kissing was forming as well. Fingers and toes they were going to love counting and kissing were starting to form but would remain webbed for a little while longer. They both listened carefully, amazed by what they were hearing and seeing, wishing that July the 5th and their baby were here already.

It was over way too soon but Doctor Duncan printed pictures of the ultrasound for them. They scheduled an appointment four weeks forward before the doctor finally let them go, advising Felicity to relax and sleep more.

 

* * *

 

Laurel called Felicity for a meeting a day after the ultrasound. Ray’s lawyer had contacted her and she had news for Felicity. She drove off to her office. Laurel was working for a law firm that helped people who could afford juridical help but also provided it for those who couldn’t.

“Felicity,” Laurel greeted her cheerfully, with a smile on her lips. “It’s good to see you, come on in!”

“Hey Laurel! How are you doing?”

“I should be the one asking you. You look exhausted,” she added, a concerned expression on her face.

“I am,” she confirmed, sitting down on a chair in front of her desk. She winced at the smell of coffee and Laurel got the message. She put her cup away. “Sorry, baby doesn’t like the smell of coffee.” She had told Laurel about her pregnancy because she was her lawyer. Nobody else knew about their baby, except for their families.

“Its loss,” Laurel teased, earning a smile from Felicity.

“Excuse me for my appearance,” Felicity said as she took off her scarf. When she was done, she pointed at her very casual but also very comfortable clothes.

Laurel shook her head. “Don’t mention it. You could be wearing your pajamas and I still wouldn’t care. I am not hear to judge you but to help you.”

“I’ve been hearing those words way too much lately. People say they aren’t judging but it really seems like they are because they feel the need to say it.” She paused and then realised what she had just said. “Not that I am implying that you’re judging me. I know you aren’t. At least I hope so… Whatever.” She paused again, for a longer while this time. “I am sorry,” she muttered.

“Again, it’s very okay to be cranky in your current condition.”

Felicity nodded, chewing on her lower lip. Her eyes got caught by the beautiful, and brand new, engagement ring that was shining on her finger.

“So, Tommy finally proposed?” She asked, a bright smile on her lips. “He may or may have not shown me the ring at Thanksgiving.”

“I knew he hadn’t spilled a latte on his computer!” Laurel said, huffing back a laugh.

Felicity shrugged. “He just wanted a woman’s opinion.”

Laurel nodded. “I get it. But he should have asked for your opinion on how to propose. He popped the question as I was doing the dishes. He said he was tired to wait." Laurel smiled lovingly at the memory.

"Well, from what he's told me he bought the ring a long time ago!"

They both smiled at each other before Felicity remembered why she was here. Clearing her throat, she said. “So, Ray’s lawyer has contacted you.”

“Yeah about that…” Laurel started. “Ray signed the papers and he is doing everything he can to fast-track the divorce’s process.”

Felicity sighed in relief. She felt like a weight had just been lifted from her shoulders. “Why didn’t you tell me over the phone? I was so worried when I got your call!”

“Because there is more to the story than just him finally signing the papers.”

Felicity frowned, her heart thrumming in her chest, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“His lawyer told me that he and Palmer Technologies’ lawyers were going to contact Queen Consolidated’s to end the contract between the two companies.”

Felicity drew out a long and shaky breath. “Robert is going to be so mad…”

Laurel leaned toward her, a sympathetic smile on her face. “Don’t worry about it. Robert is one hell of a businessman, he’ll get over this. And if he doesn’t, Thea will.”

“I just can’t help feeling like if I hadn’t fallen for Oliver…”

“Don’t go there!” Laurel told her. “The guilt would ruin your relationship with Oliver and I am pretty sure that, at this point, it’s the only thing that Ray wants. The heart wants what it wants Felicity. And you wouldn’t have wanted Oliver if you had been a satisfied wife.”

“Or maybe I would,” Felicity argued. Laurel tilted her at that. “I don’t know how to explain it but being with Oliver… It feels natural. I feel like we were meant to happen, no matter what.”

“That’s how I feel about Tommy too,” Laurel confessed and the two women smiled at each other, both understanding one another.

 

* * *

 

“Hello there Felicity, you look beautiful!” Tommy told her when he saw her walk in _Verdant_.

“Stop with the lies Merlyn!” She replied, a small smile on her lips.

“I’m not lying!” He said, looking offended. “You really look happy. I am guessing that your appointment with Laurel went well.”

She nodded firmly. “Yeah, it went really well.”

Tommy offered her a genuine smile. “Good.”

“Where’s Oliver?” She asked then, her heart speeding up in her chest. She really wanted to see him.

“Upstairs in the office. And before you go, you should know that this is a place where the both of us work.”

She frowned. “What are you trying to say?”

“No sex on the desk, okay?”

She felt herself blush at his words. She spun around and hurried upstairs, finding Oliver reading some documents. He looked really beautiful when he was solely focused on a task, his lower lips trapped between his teeth that she couldn’t resist watching him for a little while. She stared at his blue eyes, his sandy blonde hair, his square jaw line covered with his rough stubble and in that moment, she wished for their baby to look just like him. She’d love to have a mini-Oliver, with his smile and everything, running around the house. A dreamy smile on her lips, she knocked softly on the door, not wanting to startle him. He looked up from his paper, his blue eyes finding hers.

“Hey!” He whispered.

Emotions tightening her throat, she replied. “Hey!” She walked and came to him, letting him drag her onto his lap.

“How did it go with Laurel?”

She stared at him. “Ray signed the papers,” she told him.

His blue eyes widen and a shy smile tugged at his lips. “Really?”

She nodded, a smile tugging at her lips too. “Really,” she repeated, confirming it. And that’s when the thought settled within her. Over. This was finally over.

Oliver closed his eyes and she saw him struggle to keep his emotions in check. She leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. He angled her head to deepen the kiss and she couldn’t hold back a soft moan when his tongue delved into her mouth, unleashing the passion that never seemed to falter between them.

They parted for air and Felicity rested her forehead against his. “But he is going to terminate his contract with Queen Consolidated.”

Oliver shook his head, the hand on her waist tightening its grip. “I can’t believe it. His company and my father’s company have nothing to do with this and yet he can’t seem to be able to separate them from his personal issues.”

“I am sorry Oliver,” she whispered, shutting her eyes to fight back her tears.

“Felicity look at me,” he asked. She waited a minute before indulging him. The warmth and love that she saw shining in his eyes brought tears to her own. “This is not your fault. He’s the one terminating the contract, not you.” She nodded, one tear rolling down her cheek anyway. “Felicity, this is a new beginning for us, as a couple and as a family.” He stroked her stomach through her blouse with his thumb, the skin to skin contact soothing her better than his words. “And speaking of new beginning, there is something I would like to discuss with you.”

She tilted her head, intrigued by his serious expression. “What is it?” She asked.

“I was thinking that maybe, we could…” He hesitated, looking for the right words. “Let’s get out of town,” he eventually blurted out.

“What?” She asked now feeling confused.

“Let’s get out of Starling, go somewhere else where it’s going to be just us.” He paused. “Let’s be honest, once the press will know that you’re pregnant and that we’re together, living here is going to be a nightmare. I don’t want that for you or for our baby.”

“I don’t want that either,” she agreed, seeing his point. “But I don’t want our child to be raised away from his family. Think about your mom and Thea. They already love that baby so much… I don’t want to take it away from them. And I know how much you love Starling. It’s… It’s _your_ city. You were born here.”

“Felicity, I am not saying that I want to be gone forever. I am just saying that we should leave until the storm passes completely.” He paused. “And you’re right, I love Starling City. But I don’t love it nearly as much as I love your or our baby. Now, if you don’t want to leave, because of your job and because you think that we can handle the press then… Okay, let’s stay here. I just want what’s best for you, for us. And if leaving is the solution then… I want you to think about it.”

“But what do you want?” She asked.

“I don’t want to influence your decision,” he answered.

“Tell me Oliver, please. If we want our relationship to work, we can’t have one person making a decision for the both of us.”

Oliver nodded. “I get it, I really do. And in the future, I won’t hesitate to tell you what I think, especially when I don’t agree with you. But today, I really want what’s best for you.”

“I rarely speak of my father,” Felicity started, one of her hands running through Oliver’s hair, messing with the short but soft tips.

“I have noticed that,” he told her, his thumb on her stomach starting to draw soothing patterns again.

“It’s…” She tilted her head slightly, closing her eyes to gather herself up. The flow of conflicted emotions that always came with the memory of her father threatening to overwhelm her once more. “I barely remember him so that’s probably why. But what I do remember is that he always said that I was a fighter. I lost sight of that when I was with Ray, I was mostly accepting everything that was coming up our way. Being with you, and going through what we went through for the past few weeks, hell the past few months, reminded me that I was, indeed, a fighter.”

“What are you saying?”

“I am saying that we’re going to stay here. We’re going to stay here and enjoy a life where it’s just the two of us for the next seven months.”

“But what if the press…”

“I’ll work my magic,” she told him, pointing at the computer on his desk.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” she replied, nodding firmly.

He leaned forward, kissing her lips softly. “It’s really sexy when you says things like that,” he whispered against her lips.

She chuckled lightly, getting up, tearing herself from him. “Tommy said not to have sex in here.”

Oliver chuckled too before shifting on his chair, looking suddenly slightly uncomfortable. “Speaking of Tommy,” Oliver said, “there is something we need to talk about.”

She tilted her head. “And that would be?”

“Well, I’d like to tell him about the baby.”

Felicity nodded. Of course, he wanted to tell him about the baby. Tommy was his best friend.

“I know we should be waiting until the end of your first trimester to tell people but everyone knows already. My family knows, your mom knows, Laurel knows, hell, even Ray knows! It doesn’t feel right to have my best friend not knowing about his future nephew.”

Felicity arched her eyebrow. “Nephew, uh?”

“Or niece. But Tommy will definitely want a nephew. One that he’ll be able to take to baseball games, one that he’ll play basketball with.” Oliver smiled, shaking his head at the images that were going through his mind. “He’ll probably be the cool uncle, you know the one you have your first hungover with and lend you his sport cars when your parents ground you.”

Felicity’s hands came up to her stomach, covering it almost protectively. “I don’t want Tommy anywhere near our baby,” she said before a smile broke the serious expression on her face.

“Now that you’re saying it, I don’t want that either. I really don’t want to see my best friend become my child’s favourite person in the world,” Oliver said, teasing.

Felicity smiled when she heard him say the words. My child. Their child. She extended her hand for him to take. He grabbed it without hesitating. “Come on, let’s go tell him.”

They made their way downstairs, Oliver’s blue eyes shining in excitement. He was so happy, his smile so bright, it stirred something within her. Their baby was the reason of his happiness. She was the cause of his happiness. For so long she had doubted that she was what he needed. She could see now that she was. And it was the best feeling in the world.

Tommy spotted them from where he was standing behind the bar. “Glad to see that you took my warning into account Felicity,” he told her.

She felt herself blush and Oliver squeezed her hand. “He just loves teasing,” he told her.

“I know,” she replied.

They walked toward him. “There is something that we want to tell you,” Oliver said.

Tommy immediately stopped what he was doing. “What is it?” He asked, his teasing side gone. He must have felt the seriousness Oliver’s tone.

“Ray’s going to sign the divorce papers,” Felicity started.

A bright smile appeared on Tommy’s face. “Oh my god, that’s awesome! And I know I sound awful for saying this but you guys have been through so much lately, you must be feeling so relieved! I am so happy for you. How about we celebrate? I can open up a bottle of champagne!”

Oliver and Felicity smiled at his enthusiasm. Tommy had been the only one who hadn’t had a problem with their relationship. Even Thea had needed time to accept it. Tommy hadn’t. Oliver had brought her as his plus one for Thanksgiving and it had been it for him. They were a something, a something that he would support through everything.

“Wait Tommy, there is more,” Felicity called him back as he was already turning around to get said bottle of champagne. He spun back toward them, squinting.

“What is it?”

Oliver reached for his wallet and took out the ultrasound of their baby. He handed it to his best friend. Tommy grabbed the ultrasound and stared at it for a whole minute, understanding filling his eyes.

“Is that what I think it is?” He asked.

“That depends. Do you think that this is the first picture of our baby?” Oliver asked.

Tommy nodded, his lips trembling. “Man… You’re going to be a father.”

“And you’re going to be an uncle.”

“And I am going to be a mother,” Felicity concluded.

The three of them laughed before Tommy made his way from his side of the bar to theirs. He then engulfed them in his arms and hugged them tightly. “Congratulations guys!” He then pulled away. “I’ll be definitely taking this little one to baseball games. And I’ll play basketball with him as well.”

Felicity smiled as the two best friends started talking about what they’d do with the little boy. She didn’t tell them about the dream that she had had after her first appointment with Doctor Duncan. She didn’t tell them about that feeling in her gut that told her she was carrying a little girl. Instead, she laughed with them and smiled at their crazy plans. There would be time the next day to make plans for a girl. She’d be divorced very soon after all. And then, they’d have all the time in the world to make plans.

They spoke for a while, but were interrupted when Tommy’s phone buzzed.

“It’s Laurel,” he told them before excusing himself.

Felicity turned toward Oliver suddenly feeling really tired. He noticed her yawning and said. “Maybe you should go back to the mansion, get some rest.”

She nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

“Will you be okay driving?” He asked, a worried crease appearing between his eyebrows.

Again, she nodded.

“Are you sure?” He insisted, his worry still pretty evident.

She rolled her eyes. She was tired, yes, but not that tired. “Yes, I am sure.”

He still didn’t look really convinced but chose to not argue with her. Instead he leaned down and pecked her lips softly. “I’ll see you tonight then.”

“Yeah, I’ll be the girl sleeping in your shirt, with probably no underwear.”

He groaned at the image and she winked at him before getting out, feeling lighter than she had in days.

 

* * *

 

When Felicity arrived back at the Queen mansion, she was feeling exhausted. The stress and tensions from the next few days were still very present in her body, if how she was tensed up was any indication. She knew they were going to wear off, at some point, but not now. At this very moment, her heart felt light in her chest because Ray had _finally_ signed the divorce papers but her body still hadn’t gotten the memo. Or was feeling guilty because her asshole of ex-husband had chosen to terminate his contract with QC. Either way, all she needed now was to take a long and very hot bath and then rest until Oliver came back in the evening.

On her way to their room, she heard noises from Thea’s room. She knocked at her friend’s door and then walked in. She found her sitting down on her bed, her laptop in front of her.

“Hey!” Thea greeted her when she saw her. “How did it go with Laurel?”

Felicity smiled. “Good,” she answered, coming up to sit down next to her. “Ray finally signed the divorce papers. I’ll be a free woman very soon.”

“If by free you mean “bound to my brother for the rest of your life” then sure you’ll be free.”

Felicity playfully bumped into her shoulder with her own. “Be nice!” She warned her.

Thea gave her a small smile in response. Felicity tilted her head. There was something in her eyes… Something sad.

“What about you? Are you okay?” She asked, clearing her throat casually.

“Yeah, I am perfect, why are you asking?”

“Because whenever you’re not okay, you do some shopping. And right now you’re…” Felicity leaned forward to see what Thea had been doing with her laptop, “looking at baby clothes.”

“I am making sure that this baby is going to be dressed properly. I can’t let that task up to you. We both know I’m the trends’ instigator of this family.”

Felicity chuckled lightly. “Okay, I’ll give you that. But all jokes aside… What’s going on?”

Thea shrugged. “It’s nothing.”

“Well, if it’s nothing, you won’t mind sharing it with your best friend, will you?”

Thea sighed and her shoulders went limp. Suddenly, she wasn’t looking like a confident young woman anymore but more like a lost teenage girl.

“Thea, talk to me,” Felicity insisted, feeling really concerned for your friend. “Please.”

“I am just… scared I guess.”

“Of what?” Felicity asked, sitting down more comfortably on the bed, grabbing one Thea’s hand.

“Well, you’re divorcing Ray. Soon after, you’re going to settle down with my brother and the two of you are going to have a baby and I don’t know, I guess I am wondering where I fit in all of this.”

Felicity’s heart skipped a beat in her chest. She could see the fear and the apprehension in Thea’s eyes. She really was scared of what was going to happen and that was just inacceptable. Taking a deep breath to get her courage up, she smiled softly at her friends.

“Our lives are changing Thea and I am afraid I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know what’s ahead of us, what’s going to happen tomorrow but I do know two things. The first is that you’re still going to be Oliver’s baby sister. He is still going to love you and protect you, nothing can change that, not even having his own baby, I need you to know this and understand it, okay?”

“And the other thing?” Thea asked, her eyes watery.

“You’re still going to be my best friend. I’ll still help you whenever you need me, we’ll still watch stupid rom-com together or have spa days. I’ll still confide in you. And I need you to know that you can still confide in me, with whatever’s bothering you.”

Thea nodded firmly, looking toward their joined hands. “Yeah… Now that you’re going to become an official item Ollie and you, I will have to share my brother with my best friend and my best friend with my brother. And soon enough, I’ll have to share the both of you with a baby. It’s…” She hesitated, struggling to find her words. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“And you won’t, I promise. Oliver will still protect you from the world and I will still tell you everything.”

“Minus the E-rated details of your life because ew!” She winced, a disgusted look on your face. “I do not need to know about what you do or don’t do with my brother. That’s just gross.”

“Oh really?” Felicity asked, an eyebrow arched. “And how do you think we made your little nephew or little niece exactly?”

Thea threw a pillow at her. “Jeez Felicity shut up! I just got a mental picture.”

Felicity burst out laughing, throwing the pillow right back at her. “Well I remember that one time I got a vivid image of you and Roy enjoying each other’s company…”

“You were late!” Thea defended herself.

“Five minutes,” Felicity let out, half-annoyed, half-laughing. “I was five minutes late and the two of you were already getting at it like two crazy bunnies…”

Thea’s laughter echoed against the walls of her room and it cheered Felicity up. She had realised that her relationship with Oliver would affect both their families but she hadn’t thought that Thea would doubt her place in their lives. Talking with her about her fears reminded her of her own fears and insecurities. She was working on them, she was trying to get over them but she knew she still had a long way to go. She knew she’d make it, eventually, as long as she had a man like Oliver at her side and a friend like Thea to help her. Seeing the young Queen smile, hearing her laugh, made Felicity feel happy and reassured. Her friend was going to be okay, so was their friendship.

“So tell me,” she asked, settling down next her friend and bringing her laptop between the two of them. “Have you found cute gender neutral coloured baby clothes?”

“Not really,” Thea sighed, her smile lingering on her lips. “It would help to know if you’re having a boy or a girl.”

“You’ll have to wait for that,” Felicity told her, her conversation with Tommy and Oliver from earlier still very present in her mind.

“I know. How about we go looking for maternity clothes instead?” She suggested, clicking on a tab called “maternity clothes”.

Felicity groaned at all the pictures of the heavily pregnant woman on the screen.

“Oh Felicity!” Thea said, chuckling. “Don’t pull a face like that! You’ll be as cute as them with a bump.”

 Felicity groaned, shaking her head, triggering Thea’s hilarity again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	17. December 2016 part. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!
> 
> Thanks for the amazing response the last chapter got! I'll get to the replies right after I post this! :)
> 
> You should know that I wrote this chapter right after 4x15 aired (well, technically, not right after, but the day after) and it's probably why it ends the way it ends... Please don't hate me!
> 
> I don't know when I'll be able to update again, we are reaching the parts that I've decided to add/develop more in the story - meaning it's not written yet. I'll be working on it but I am not on vacation again and I have a shoulder tendonitis (can you believe it?) and unfortunately it is really painful for me to keep my arm bent when I am writing or typing for too long... I'll do my best though because you guys are the best and don't deserve to be left hanging for too long! :)
> 
> Happy reading!

As usual, the Polyvore sets :)

At the coffee-shop [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_16_coffee_time_felicity/set?id=191464396) / [(Anna)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_16_coffee_time_anna/set?id=191464794)

 

* * *

 

 

December 2016 part 2.

 

Felicity was lying on Oliver’s bed, hugging a pillow close to her heart as she waited for him to come home to her. He had just texted her, informing her that he was on his way. She put her phone back on his bedside table and slipped her cold feet under the comforter. She was feeling a bit better now that she knew that Ray was going to sign the divorce papers and that Oliver and she could finally move forward. It was like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. Sure, she still felt bad that her future ex-husband had chosen to terminate his contract with Queen Consolidated but just like Oliver had told her, there was nothing that she could do about him being an immature child, unable to separate his personal life from his professional one. She couldn’t make him change his mind therefore it was pointless to feel guilty and blame herself. It was only going to tarnish her fresh start with Oliver and she really didn’t want that. She wanted to start over and finally completely be happy with him. Her conversation with Thea from earlier had made her realise that she had a new family, she had had it for a while now and that it was time for this family to be her number one priority.

Sighing, she buried her head further in his pillow, letting his scent relax her. Ever since Thanksgiving, things had been pretty hard on them and Oliver and she was really looking forward moments of peace. She had been extremely stressed and she had felt it in her body through her back aches, her morning sicknesses… Everything had been a consequence of the stress that had been ruling their lives. It hadn’t only affected her, it had affected Oliver as well and she wanted to talk to him about it. There was one thing that she knew for sure about him, one thing that she had known ever since she had met him. Oliver loved the people that were the closest to him _deeply_. He loved them so much, he wanted to be able to take upon himself their pain when they were suffering. She knew he’d rather be hurt than see his loved ones hurt. She had realised that after she had heard him talk about Thea, about how protective of her he was or when he had talked about Tommy and how he would always be there for him, no matter what. It really was a quality that she admired. And it was a nice change from Ray, who had stopped caring about her without ever giving her any kind of explanation. She wanted to know why. She wanted to know why, one day, his company had started being more important than her, than them. The same she wanted to why her father had left her. Unfortunately, just like with her father, Felicity had to resign herself. Just like she’d never know why her father had left her, she’d never know why Ray had pulled away. And really, having Oliver with her, caring and attentive, was a nice change.

Until it wasn’t.

Oliver was very protective of her. Scratch that, he was over protective of her. And she got why, really she did. It was no fun to be sick as hell every day and she couldn’t imagine how hard it was for him to just be able to sit down next to her and pull her hair back. She knew it would drive her crazy if their situations were reversed. But she also knew that there was a limit to what she could take. She couldn’t do as much as getting up at night because his baby was weighing on her bladder without him waking up and asking her a dozen of questions. He was extremely careful with what she ate or if she was not forgetting to take her prenatal vitamins. He wasn’t really okay with her driving, because she didn’t sleep much at night and she was really tired and being tired behind the wheel could be dangerous and… And nothing. She was a big girl. She knew the difference between feeling tired and exhausted. She could take care of herself. She needed him to trust her on that.

Felicity loved Oliver with all her heart and she loved him for being so attentive, for cocooning her but she also needed her space. She needed to be able to breath and she just couldn’t and she needed to talk to him about him before she snapped. That day only, he had texted her non-stop, asking of she was okay or if she needed him. And he was leaving _Verdant_ very early, leaving Tommy dealing with things on his own for the night. That was not okay with Felicity, she didn’t want him to put his job on a hold for her. She knew how much it meant to him.

She heard him walking in and turned around toward the door. He casually leaned against the frame of the door, looking so perfectly gorgeous in his dark jeans, blue Henley and leather jacket. He had crossed his arms over her chest, putting his perfectly chiselled forearms on display. She felt herself blush slightly and she had to blink several times to get used to his sight. He was 6 feet of pure perfection and her heart pounded madly in appreciation.

“Hey,” he whispered, a small smile on his lips, his eyes shining with love and really how was she supposed to have a serious conversation with him when he was looking at her like that?

“Hey,” she greeted him, smiling back at him.

He walked toward her and sat down on his bed. She sat down as well and leaned toward him, kissing him tenderly while her hand cupped his cheek.

“How are you feeling?” He asked and really she didn’t know why she was surprised that this was his first question.

“Same way I was feeling when you asked me less thirty-four minutes ago,” she teased, deciding that now was as good a time as any to talk about their situation.

He sighed and cocked his head, clearly waiting for a proper answer.

She indulged him, but only because she wanted the conversation to move forward. “I am fine Oliver,” she said softly. Her hand fell from his cheek and travelled down to his chest. She could feel his heart beat wildly under her palm and she drew some strength from it. “But there is something I want us to talk about.”

He frowned, a flicker of worry crossing his eyes. “What is it?”

She took a deep breath and let the words flow out of her mouth. “I am not really okay with how things are.” Her eyes went wide when she realised how what she had just said sounded. “I mean, I am very okay with how things are, I am so happy that Ray is finally, after everything, going to sign the papers and that I’ll be a free woman very soon and that we’ll be able to move on with our life together. I am very _very_ happy with that.” She paused, letting her words hang in the air. “But you know, we’ve been very open with each other ever since we have gotten together and we’ve decided to always tell the other when something is not right and right now, something isn’t and I want to talk about it with you before it turns into something we can’t change anymore, okay?”

He nodded slowly. “Okay.” He took her free hand and squeezed lightly. “I am listening,” he added.

“I… I am not okay with your overprotectiveness. Don’t take it the wrong way, you’re sweet and really attentive and I am really lucky to have you but I have also gotten used to be alone and independent and I have a hard time dealing with someone who’s hovering over me all the time. I already have a shadow, I don’t need another one. And wow, I don’t mean to sound so harsh but really, I don’t know how else to phrase it. I know you said that you wanted to go through everything with me and I want you to but not at the expense of our lives, as individuals. Yes, we are officially together now but it doesn’t mean that we can’t have things that are just for ourselves. For instance, you have a job and I don’t want you to put it on a hold just so that you can take care of me, especially when I am fine. If I wasn’t, I’d be really glad to have you hover over me but I am fine. There is no need for you to worry like this.” She paused for a second, looking for the right words. “And it worries me that you worry so much because I know it isn’t doing you any good and I want you to be all good and perfect.”

He didn’t answer her right away and it made her nervous but since he didn’t let go of her hand she thought that he wasn’t mad. He sighed. “We’re supposed to be partners in this Felicity,” he told her and there was something wrong with his voice. It was tight, and fragile as if it was barely holding on against a flow of emotions that was threatening to take over.

“Yes, and partners trust each other. All I want is for you to trust that I can take care of myself when you’re not around. Just like I trust you to take care of me when I can’t do it myself.”

“I trust you Felicity, I really do.”

“I have twenty-three texts in my phone that tend to say that you don’t.”

She saw him pinched his lips before he turned his head away from her. That’s when she realised that there was more going on that just them. Concern flooding her veins, she tilted her head to catch his eyes. “Oliver, what’s wrong?” She asked. When he didn’t reply, she moved forward, half-ending in his lap. She cupped his cheek and made him look at her. The emotions, the pain in his eyes took her breath away. Everything was and hurting and she could see it. No worse, she could _feel_ it and it shook her up.

“Talk to me,” she demanded softly, hoping that her voice and close proximity would be able to soothe him. To take a bit of his pain away.

“I just – “ he hesitated, “I just don’t want to lose you. Either of you.” He added, his hand falling on her stomach. “I – I’ve been through that once and I – I can’t go through this again.”

That made her pause, her heart skipping a beat. “What do you mean?”

He looked up to the ceiling, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. “When I was in college, my third college, I – I screwed up, big time. Both figuratively and literally. I met this girl at a party. She was really pretty, and we were both most definitely drunk. We flirted the whole night long and well… I don’t need to spell out for you what happened.” She nodded. He really didn’t. “She came to me a few weeks after that. She was pregnant.” He sighed and Felicity bit her lips. He had never told her about that. Whenever he had told her about his wild years, he had always made sure to only mention the good memories, the funny stories. She had always known though, that behind the happy stories, something dark must have remained hidden. She had wanted to ask him about it but had never dared to. Just like he had let her tell him about her own painful memories on her own terms, never pushing her, she had never pushed. Until now.

“She was pregnant with your baby,” she repeated, letting the words sink in her.

Oliver blinked, a wince distorting his beautiful features. “It scared the crap out of me. I really wasn’t ready to be a father but there was no running away from it. She was pregnant and deep down I knew I had to man up, to be there for my child but… I just couldn’t. It was too hard. You tell me, how is a twenty-one-year-old who is still very much like a child supposed to raise one? She said that becoming a father would change me. That he would help me grow up but I – I didn’t really believe her. I didn’t want to believe her, because I wasn’t ready to quit my perfect life of debauchery.”

“What did you do?” Felicity asked, her heart clenching in her chest at the distress she could see in his eyes. Pain was melding with regrets and remorse. She had never seen him quite like this. Ever.

“I offered her money, to support her materially speaking. But… I wasn’t there for her.” He paused for a while. “She lost the baby before the end of her first trimester.” Felicity exhaled slowly, something tugging at her heart painfully. One of her hand fell down and went to cover his, which was still on her stomach. “And I can’t help thinking that maybe, if I had been there…”

“Oliver, don’t go there please,” she begged him, her voice breaking for him, because she could more than just see his pain. She could feel it. That’s how connected they were. That’s how they had always been. “It wasn’t your fault. She didn’t lose the baby because you weren’t there. This can happen to literally every one and we don’t always know why.”

“I didn’t want that baby and…”

“Stop Oliver! She didn’t lose that baby because you weren’t ready.”

“When she lost it, I felt sad,” he confessed, a tear rolling down his cheek. And that’s when she broke completely too and that tears pricked at her eyes.

“Of course you did. Just because you weren’t ready to be a dad doesn’t mean that you didn’t love it.”

He nodded slightly and she pulled him toward her, hugging him tightly. His hands came up and wrapped around her back holding her close. She felt the tension from his body melt slightly and she hugged him a bit tighter, keeping his shaking body in her embrace, comforting him as best as she could with her warmth, her scent, her presence, her everything the same he always had comforted her.

When they pulled away, his eyes were red and she realised that it was the first time that she was seeing him cry. “Thank you for telling me this. I understand more now,” she told him, raising a hand to wipe his tears away, the same way he had wiped hers before.

He frowned. “Does it mean that I can continue?”

She shook her head “no”. He nodded slowly, pulling her in for another hug, cradling her in his embrace. His lips fell on the top of her head, pressing soft kisses against her hair. She raised up her head and their lips met for a soft kiss that was just about reassuring the other.

They loved each other.

They trusted each other.

They were together.

Always.

They kissed, tenderly and chastely. Until it wasn’t anymore and they were soon both hungry for more. Felicity pressed her body closer to his, her legs wrapping around his waist. His tongue ran through the seam of her lips, asking for entrance, which she granted immediately. He took over control of her mouth, and she let him consume her, moaning as he kissed her, stroked her tongue with his own and nipped at her lips.

One of his hands travelled down toward her core, which was already throbbing in anticipation. He cupped her, his fingers teasing her folds lightly, finding her already wet and ready for him. He groaned against her mouth when he realised that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. She chuckled against his lips, pecking his lips, once, twice.

“You weren’t kidding earlier when you said that you wouldn’t be wearing any underwear…” He whispered while his lips trailed open-mouthed kisses along her jaw and down her throat.

“Well, we do have a few things to celebrate,” she panted, her hips bucking against his hand when he inserted a finger inside her, his thumb finding her clit.

“Oh yeah?” He asked, pumping his finger in and out of her leisurely.

“Yeah,” she confirmed, shutting her eyes at the pleasure that was shooting right through her as his thumb rubbed maddening circles against her bundle of nerves.

Her lips met his for a hungry kiss that he only interrupted to strip his tee-shirt off of her. She hissed when her sensitive breast brushed against the fabric of his clothes.

“You okay?” He asked, concerned, his thumb stopping his movements.

“Yes, keep going,” she replied in a breath.

He chuckled lightly and pulled his finger out of her, earning a whimper in response. He pushed her on her back and stood up. She raised herself up on her elbows and cocked her head interrogatively.

“One of us is overdressed,” he told her, before licking his finger clean. She stared at him, her eyes darkening at the sight of him tasting her, fire spreading in her veins, making her blood boil.

She smiled brightly, watching him get rid of his leather jacket and then of his Henley, exposing tone muscles to her hungry eyes. He tucked his shoes off, before reaching for his belt and unbuckling it, slowly, building her anticipation up. And if the way her heart was pounding against her ribs was any indication, everything he was doing was working. She bit her lips and shook her head.

“You’re such a tease,” she told him.

“Because you aren’t one perhaps?” He shot back, tugging his jeans and briefs down, releasing his already hard cock.

She got on her knees in front of him and wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers tangling in his short hair. “No,” she whispered against his lips before locking them with her own. He leaned them down on the bed, one arms securely holding her to him, never breaking the kiss. He hovered her, settling between her opened legs. His other hand grabbed his pillow and he placed it under the side of her back, so that she wasn’t lying flat on her back.

“Feeling okay?” He asked.

“I’d feel better if you were inside me already,” she replied, her lips attacking his again.

“Who am I to deny you anything?” He told her between two kisses.

She chuckled, a chuckle that turned into a soft moan of pleasure when she felt him press at her entrance. He teased them for a while, pushing halfway inside her before retreating completely, teasing her clit with his tip. He build their pleasure until they were both panting and sweating.

“Oliver please,” she begged, feeling her toes curl as he bumped against her clit again, sparks of pleasure shooting through her.

He indulged her, giving them what they both wanted. Once he was fully seated inside her, she keened, loudly. She pulled at his hair to bring him closer to her, her tongue delving into his mouth, devouring him. The strength of her desire, scratch that, of her hunger for him, surprising them both.

Soon enough, he was moving, thrusting inside of her sharply but going out slowly, leaving her wanting more and more.

“Faster Oliver,” she asked, her nails digging into his shoulder, the fire in her body scorching and languid.

He didn’t set up a faster pace right away, choosing to open up more for him instead by raising one of her legs to her chest. The new angle allowed him to go deeper and she screamed in pleasure, her walls clenching around him. She was close, so close and he felt so _so_ good. She could tell that he was close too and she wrapped her other leg around his waist, her lips finding his again for another searing kiss. Their lips knotted together again and she felt him sped up, thrusting in and out of her at a punishing pace. She knew that she was making sounds that weren’t close to English but he was swallowing them all, until suddenly a particularly hard thrust made his pubic bone rub against her clit just the right way. The tension within her body snapped and she came, tearing her lips from his to scream his name as waves of pleasure crashed through her. Her release triggered his and he came too, spilling inside her, her name muffled against the crook her neck, which he nipped, soothing the sting of the bite tenderly with his tongue.

They came down from their high slowly, kissing leisurely and sloppily.

“I love you,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you too,” she whispered back, her heart clenching in her chest at the way he was looking at her.

“Do you want to keep celebrating in the shower?” He offered, getting off the bed.

She stretched, moaning in appreciation.

“Coming,” she told him.

“That you will,” he promised her, making his way toward his private bathroom.

She was about to follow him when her phone rang. She picked up without checking the ID.

“Hello?”

_“Mrs. Smoak-Palmer?”_

She cringed at the name. “Yes, who is this?” The voice sounded familiar but she couldn’t remember where she had heard it.

_“Anna Loring, Mr. Palmer’s executive assistant.”_

Felicity frowned. Why was Ray’s EA calling her? “Miss Loring… What a surprise! What can I do for you?”

_“There is something I need to discuss with you. Could we meet?”_

Felicity’s frown deepened. What did they have to discuss? “What do we have to discuss?” She asked.

_“I can’t tell you over the phone but trust me, you’re going to want to hear what I have to say.”_

Felicity sighed. “Okay,” she agreed, without really knowing exactly what it was that she was agreeing to.

_“How about we meet for a coffee? Tomorrow at 1pm, it’s during my lunch break. I’ll text you the address of a place I know. It’s rather unknown, we should have some peace and quiet.”_

“Okay, see you tomorrow then!”

_“See you tomorrow.”_

Oliver came out of the bathroom when she hung up, still completely naked.

“Aren’t you gonna join me?” He asked.

“Ray’s EA just called me,” she announced. “She wants us to meet tomorrow.”

Oliver arched an eyebrow, surprised. “Why?”

“I really don’t know.”

 

* * *

 

Felicity arrived before 1pm. She had had to leave early for the meeting because every time she got out of the Queen Mansion, there were photographs following her, trying to get a picture of her. Her divorce with Ray was a very hot topic and since she hadn’t spoken publicly except for a statement asking for the respect of her privacy, lots of journalists were looking for a new scoop. Because, yeah, apparently her divorcing Ray was more important than the problem of unemployment within the city or the problem of the circulation of guns and drugs in the Glades.

Checking the time for the umpteenth time on her phone, Felicity shifted in her seat. She took a sip of her hot cocoa, thanking her stomach for being more cooperative than usual. She shifted in her seat again when she heard the door of the coffee shop open and the sound of heels walking toward her.

“Mrs. Smoak-Palmer,” Anna greeted her. Felicity stood up to shake her hand, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious. Anna really was rocking her fancy black and white outfit, one made of very high heels, a tight skirt and a serious top where she was wearing red skinny jeans and an oversized sweater.

“It’s a secret to no one in town that I won’t be Mrs. Palmer for long,” Felicity told her. “So go with Miss Smoak. Or Felicity. Yeah. Felicity is better.”

Anna chuckled slightly. “Okay… Felicity.”

They both sat down. A waitress came to them and Anna ordered a coffee, black with two sugars.

“That’s how Ray takes his coffee,” Felicity noticed.

“I know.”

“I know you know.” Her eyes went wide. “And I don’t mean by that it’s obvious you know because you’re his executive assistant, because really I don’t think that’s it. I know there is more to being an executive assistant than just fetch a cup of coffee to a very busy CEO.”

Anna tilted her head. “Do you always speak that much?”

“Only when I am nervous.”

Anna offered her a small smile and said, her voice calm and reassuring. “You don’t have to be nervous. We are two free and grown-up women who are about to have a nice chat, talking about their common interests around a cup of coffee.”

Felicity frowned. “Common interests, that’s interesting.” She took a sip of her hot cocoa. “What makes you think that we have common interests?”

Anna took a deep breath. “Before I start talking, I need you to promise me that you won’t leave until this conversation is over. And by over I mean, until we’ve come to an agreement.”

Felicity’s frown deepened as her confusion grew within her. “Uh… Okay, I promise.”

“Good,” Anna said, bowing her head in approval.

The waitress came back with Anna’s coffee. She took a sip before setting the steaming cup back down in front of her. “Felicity,” she started again. “I think that we can both agree on the fact that terminating the contracts between PT and QC won’t benefit any of the companies.”

Felicity arched an eyebrow. Where was she going with this?

“It would be best if Ray could just change his mind and accept to still deal with Robert and Robert only, right? It’s not like he will have to see you, your boyfriend or your baby if he only interacts with Robert.”

Felicity who had raised up her cup again choked on her hot cocoa. “Excuse me?”

“Ray told me about your relationship with Mr. Queen Junior. He also told me that it’s the reason why he doesn’t want to work with QC anymore,” Anna shook her head, a judgmental look on her face. “Honestly, one would think that a smart woman like you would know how to use a condom…” She added, sighing.

Felicity felt her cheek redden and anger made her heart swell in her chest, made her blood blaze in her veins. How could he have revealed such private things about her to his _EA_? He hadn’t said anything to the press, but he had told his EA? Of all people? Why?

“Why would he tell you about all of this?” She asked, her voice low and angry.

“Because I am his _friend_ ,” Anna replied and the way she pronounced the word “friend” made Felicity realise that it conveyed more than just its usual meaning.

“What are you saying?” She asked, her grip so tight on her cup, her fingers had turned white.

“You know what I am saying Felicity.” Anna looked down to her cup of coffee.

“You have quite the nerve to ask for a meeting just to tell me that you’ve been screwing my husband behind my back.” She said through gritted teeth, her anger burning her from the inside. It was taking her a lot of self-control to not just slap her across the face and walk away.

“I didn’t come here to just tell you _this_ ,” Anna replied, sounding annoyed. “I came here to tell you that I am the reason why Ray signed the divorce’s papers without making a scene. He wanted to destroy you, to expose you and Queen Junior and let the journalists tear you apart. Everyone would have pitied him and really it would have done our company some good. But I convinced him to do otherwise. To play nice.”

Felicity asked, distrust mixing with her anger and confusion. “Why would you do that?”

“I am not an idiot Felicity. Going up against the Queen family in Starling City… It would be incredibly stupid. And even if Ray and I have obviously been more careful with our friendly encounters than you, it doesn’t mean that they are no evidence. You could find them if you wanted to.”

Felicity stared at her, blinking several times. She was feeling utterly dumbfounded. “I would have never thought of looking for any evidence. Ray,” she hesitated, struggling to keep her emotions in check. All she wanted was to explode, but she knew she couldn’t and that she had to remain calm. She breathed through her nose, slowly. “Ray was so scared of another scandal… I’d never have thought that he could…”

“Cheat on you? Oh come on Felicity, don’t be naïve. It’s running in the family, you shouldn’t be so surprised.”

Felicity had a very hard time resisting the urge to throw her cup of cocoa to her face. Anna looked so confident, so contemptuous, so _smug._ Felicity wanted to erase that proud grin from her face. She was facing the woman who had destroyed her marriage. She was being told that her husband was the biggest hypocrite in the history of hypocrites. She was mad. God, she was so mad! She was _furious._

“I could convince Ray to not provoke a scandal but unfortunately I couldn’t convince him to maintain the partnership between Queen Consolidated and Palmer Technologies. But you Felicity, you can convince him.”

“I really don’t see how,” she spit out.

“Knowing about our special relationship gives you leverage to get what we both know is good for the companies.”

“So you basically want me to blackmail Ray?”

“Blackmail?” Anna chuckled but Felicity could tell that her amusement was fake. “That’s such an ugly word. I just want you to remind him what he could lose if he decided to stop working with Queen Consolidated.”

Felicity shook her head, feeling disgusted. She had a hard time wrapping her mind around what Anna was telling her. First thing first, her husband had been cheating on her. With his executive assistant. What a cliché. Then, said executive assistant was telling her about their affair so that _she_ could confront Ray about it and basically blackmail him into pursuing his partnership with Robert.

When had her life become such a mess?

“Why do you care so much about the well-being of the companies? Is it because you’re hoping to become the next Mrs. Palmer? Are you trying to protect what you want for yourself?”

“My reasons aren’t any of your business Felicity.”

Felicity bit her lip, pain and anger tugging at her heart.

“Listen Felicity,” Anna said, leaning forward. “I think that we can help each other out. Ray… Ray is being Ray. He may be a genius but when it comes to people he’s not the brightest person around. This divorce of yours can be dealt with smoothly, it only needs a woman’s touch. Or in this case, women’s touch. You go talk to Ray, you make sure that he doesn’t terminate the contracts with QC and I’ll make sure that he releases a public statement saying that the two of you have been separated for a very long while and that your child, while indeed conceived when you were still married, is not the product of an ugly affair. Ray and Palmer Tech won’t be humiliated, our affairs won’t come out, the two companies will keep thriving and you my dear won’t be seen as a slut who got impregnated while she was cheating on her husband. It’s a win/win situation for all of us. I’d even go as far as saying that you are gaining more than we are.”

Felicity considered her for a while. She was smart, there was no denying it. She was smart and determinate. And she looks a lot like Ray. She was all business and masks and fake smiles. But she was smart and she had a good plan, one that would certainly make Felicity’s life easier.

“I am going to do it,” Felicity eventually accepted. “But just so we are clear, I am not doing it for you. I am only doing it because we happen to indeed have common interests. As far as I am concerned, you’re just the slut who screwed my husband behind my back.”

“Giving your own history with Mr. Queen Junior, I think that you’re not one to judge.”

“My husband started to pull away from me way before I fell for Oliver. Everything started before we moved here.” She paused for a second. “And now that I am thinking about it, I remember that he hired you before we moved out,” she said, shaking her head at her own blindness. How had she not seen that one coming? “I am no idiot Miss Loring, I can do the math on my own.”

Standing up, Felicity grabbed her coat and purse. “You know, you’ve been having this thing with Ray for a long time and if it wasn’t for me asking for a divorce, you wouldn’t get the chance to become an official item.” She waited for a second, letting her words sink in. “Think about that while you finish that cup of coffee.”

She walked out of the coffee shop on these words. Once she was out, she released a long breath, her heart shattering in her chest. It was one thing to know that your husband had given up on you. It was another one entirely to know that he had done it for someone else. And that he had tried to make you feel responsible for everything that had gone wrong when, really, he had been the one who had ruined everything.

Pulling her phone out of her purse, she quickly sent a text to Oliver, her hands shaking slightly.

_“13:17 pm_

_Something came up. Heading to PT._

_FS”_

_\--_

She then realised how it sounded and quickly typed another text.

_“13:18 pm_

_Nothing’s wrong, don’t worry. Love you!_

_FS”_

_\--_

The answer came when she got to her car.

_“13:21 pm_

_What’s going on?_

_OQ”_

_\--_

_“13:22 pm_

_Call you when I am out._

_FS”_

 

* * *

 

Thanks to Stanley, the man watching the entrance of the Palmer Technogies’ building that she knew very well, Felicity got inside pretty easily. She knew she probably was _persona non grata_ in Palmer Technologies and she really hoped that Stanley wouldn’t get in too much trouble just because he had helped her.

Some people recognised her in the elevator. Some greeted her politely, some just stared. Some didn’t react at all. Thankfully, she soon found herself heading alone toward the executive floor where she knew she was most likely going to find her future ex-husband. She knew he loved eating lunch while going over the company’s paperwork.

She found him completely absorbed by the reading of some documents. He was so lost in his reading, he didn’t even notice her presence through the glass walls of his office. She knocked at the door and he looked up, his eyes widening when he saw her. He motioned for her to get in and she did.

“Felicity, what a surprise,” he greeted her, without bothering to stand up.

“Hello Ray, don’t worry, this is going to be quick.”

“Good because I have some work to do.”

“Wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.”

He just rolled his eyes and leaned down in his chair, his eyes scanning her, trying to guess why she was here. “I’ve signed the papers. My lawyer is going to send them to a judge who is a friend of mine. Everything will be done before Christmas.”

“Oh! Are you suddenly in a hurry to get divorced?”

“From my knocked up cheating wife? Yes, I am.”

Anger at his hypocrisy made her blood boil in her veins all over again. She had slightly calmed down during the drive to PT. But now, her anger was back all blazing and scorching. Clenching her fists, she did her best to remain calm and in control of the fire that was burning her from the inside. She couldn’t let him see that he had hurt her. That he still had that power over her. She wouldn’t. “It’s funny you mention that because I’ve just found out I haven’t been the only unfaithful one in this marriage.”

Ray had a really good poker face, she had to give him that. He didn’t even flinch when she accused him. “I don’t see what you’re talking about.”

“I am talking about your screwing the pretty brunette with long legs who also happens to be your executive assistant.”

He blinked, arching an eyebrow. “Is there a point to this?”

She nodded, leaning toward him. “Yes, I am getting to it. I want you to reach for your phone and call Robert Queen. You’re going to invite him over for dinner and tell him that you’re going to keep working with him. But of course, your interactions will remain strictly professional meaning that they will only happen between the walls of QC or PT. We wouldn’t want to cross each other’s path at some dinners, would we?” She was drawing strength from her anger and pain. This man had hurt her more than anyone in her life and all the frustration that she had collected along the years was coming out now, very present behind her aplomb and confidence.

“I won’t,” he said.

“Yes, you will,” she told him, her voice unwavering. “Otherwise, I’ll give a call to Lauren Smith, the journalist at Starling City Sentinel who loves writing about us. I’ll call her and I’ll tell her about how my dear husband is the worthy son of Raymond Palmer Senior.”

“You don’t have any proofs,” Ray reminded her, not looking worried at all. “They won’t believe you.”

“What makes that I don’t?” She bluffed. “Besides, we both know that I don’t need any. Sometimes, it only takes a rumour to ruin a man’s life.” She tilted her head and went on. “I can already see the headlines “ _Ray Palmer following the tracks of his father_ ”. Well, at least Miss Loring was consenting when you get into her pants.”

He stood up suddenly, his face red with anger. She flinched, startled when his fist hit his desk, strongly enough to make the wood and glass crack. “Shut up! My father never had sex with any of these interns! Those were only rumours and we both know it.”

“Do we?” She replied, standing up as well. “Because I remember that one time where your father was being very friendly with a twenty-year-old way too afraid to lose her job to say anything and that _I_ had to ask you to do something to put the girl out of her misery. Your father may have not had sex with any of these interns but sexual harassment _is_ actually a thing and doesn’t need to involve the most primal form of sex to be considered a crime!”

They both stood their ground before, finally, Ray’s shoulders went limp. “I’ll call Robert during the afternoon. Congratulations Felicity, it seems that you’ll be winning everything after all.”

Felicity sighed in relief and unclenched her fists. “You know Ray, I am really sorry that we have to come to that.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “For a long time I thought that it was my fault if you had given up on us, and on our marriage. And when you chose to terminate your contracts with QC to punish me for cheating on you with Oliver, I blamed myself too.” She paused. “And now, I realise that it was never my fault and that it was just convenient for you to let me believe it was. This is not me winning everything Ray. This is pay back for what did to me. And payback’s a bitch.”

Ray stood still, his eyes throwing daggers at her. “You won’t need me to show you the way out,” he said through gritted teeth.

She didn’t bother replying and got out of his office only to stop dead in her tracks when she saw the man walking toward Ray’s office.

It had been almost sixteen years since she had last seen him.

But she recognised him immediately.

You never forget the face of the man who first broke your heart.

“Felicity,” he whispered in disbelief.

Her father.

His voice was the same, maybe a bit lower. His hair was greyer but he still looked fine in a suit. Not that she had seen him wearing a suit a lot as a child.

“Dad,” she breathed out, her hand holding the handle of her bag so tightly it hurt. “What are you doing here?”

“I – I was just hired by Mr. Palmer to work in the Applied Sciences department.”

She nodded trying to process the information. Then, she realised that the man who had abandoned her as a child was standing right in front of her. Her body unfroze immediately and she made her way toward the elevator.

“Felicity, wait!”

She pressed the button but decided otherwise when she realised that it was stuck at the twelfth floor and that her father was following her. Opening the door which led to the stairs, she started hurtling down the stairs, not waiting for her father. She had to get as far away from him as possible, as quickly as possible.

“Felicity!” He called her back.

She hurried up, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes.

Everything happened really quickly after that.

She felt his hand grabbed her arm to stop her.

She was going so fast she tripped and started falling.

Her hand on the barrier tightened its grip as she fell down backwards. Her other hand came behind her back to absorb the shock as she landed on her butt, a sharp pain shooting through both her hand behind her back and the shoulder of the arm that had been holding the barrier.

Her breathing was erratic, the pain in her wrist throbbing and the one in her shoulder burning. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she felt her heart thrum in her chest.

“Felicity, oh my god!” Her father shout, kneeling down next to her to check up on her. “Are you okay?”

In an instant, he was leaning toward her and taking a hold of her wrist, which was already starting to swell. She cried out in pain.

“I am so sorry. It’s not broken, probably just cracked.”

She felt something warm flow between her legs. It wasn’t much, but it was there. A wave of panic crashed through her when she realised what it might be.

No!

“Call 911,” she ordered, her voice shattering when she realised that it was really happening. “I am pregnant and bleeding.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	18. December 2016 part. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Sorry about the cliffhanger from last time...  
> But thanks for the support! :) You guys are the best!
> 
> Happy reading!! :D

The Polyvore sets as usual.

At the hospital [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_17_its_not_your/set?id=191842351) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_17_its_not_your/set?id=191842038)

* * *

 

 

December 2016 part 3.

 

Being taken away from her future ex-husband’s company in an ambulance was most definitely not something that Felicity needed. But she found herself unable to care.

The paramedics were moving around her, taking her blood pressure, checking her vitals, stabilizing her wrist. But they were all a blur for her. She could see forms and silhouettes but no bodies. She knew they were talking to her, asking her questions but she wasn’t actually hearing them. It was like their voices were coming from a very old crackling radio. She couldn’t make out any words. She was lost in her bubble where the reality of what was happening to her was slowly and painfully sinking into her.

She had seen her father.

She had fallen in the stairs.

She had lightly bled.

Felicity quickly found herself running down the path of guilt, spiralling into a swirl of self-hatred and self-flagellation.

Maybe she had lost her baby.

Maybe she was losing it as they were driving her toward the hospital.

Maybe her baby was dead because she had run away from her father and had hurried in the stairs.

Maybe, if she had been more careful, if she had waited for the damn elevator, none of this would have happened.

She wouldn’t be in pain. Her baby’s life wouldn’t be in danger.

Felicity felt completely and utterly numb. She couldn’t feel her heart beat in her chest although she knew that fear and the adrenaline kicking in her veins must have made it beat wildly.

As they entered the hospital, one last thought crossed her mind.

If she lost her baby, it would be her fault.

 

* * *

 

She was admitted in Starling’s General almost immediately. They took her to a private room, where a nurse met her soon after. She offered her painkillers for her wrist but Felicity declined them all, asking instead when she’d get too see a gynaecologist as she was changing into a hospital blouse. She hadn’t bled a lot but in the early stage of a pregnancy she knew that a fall and a bleeding, even small, should be taken very seriously. Actually, a fall and a bleeding, even a small one, should always be taken seriously while pregnant.

“A gynaecologist should be here very soon. Sit back down and try to relax Mrs. Smoak-Palmer,” the nurse added while she carefully wrapped her wrist in some ice. Felicity let her do so. She may have refused the painkillers but it didn’t mean that she wasn’t in serious pain.

_Try to relax._

How the hell was she supposed to relax when her baby may have gotten hurt because of her? How was she supposed to relax when her baby may be…?

No.

She couldn’t finish that thought.

More tears rolled down her cheeks as she felt her heart throb in her chest. Where was Oliver?

“We’ve contacted your second contact on the list of your emergency contacts, miss Thea Queen. She is coming over with her brother. They should be here very soon,” the nurse, Jane, yeah that was her name, told her, her tone soft and probably meant to reassure her.

Felicity breathed out in relief, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. Oliver would be here soon. She wasn’t going to be alone for much longer. He was going to be here soon and he would fix everything. He’d make everything better. He always did.

Ray had been her only emergency contact when they had moved in Starling City. She had wanted to add her mother but since she lived in Vegas, it had felt a bit useless. So when Felicity had gotten closer to the Queens, and especially Thea, she had asked her if she didn’t mind being her emergency contact. Just in case.

Now she was glad that she had asked her.

The nurse left and Felicity wiped her tears away with her free hand, the pain in her shoulders less intense than earlier. It’d probably be sore for a couple of days but surely, it was nothing to be worried about.

She found herself wishing that she had dislocated it or even broken it instead of bleeding.

She would have gone through the worst pain, if only it had meant that her baby was and would be safe.

It was too bad that kind of things didn’t depend on her.

 

* * *

 

She heard his footsteps before she saw him. He ran down the corridor toward her room, rushing inside.

“Felicity!” Her name fell from his lips in a breath and she turned her head toward him, chewing on her lower lip.

“Oliver, I am so sorry,” she whispered, her voice trembling.

“Oh baby!” In a second, he was at her side, his lips on her forehead, his hand stroking her cheek. He pulled away and looked at her and she did the same. His clothes were dishevelled, his breathing uneven, his eyes roaming over her frantically, checking her up, cataloguing her injuries.

“I am so sorry,” she repeated, the weight of what he had told her the day before weighing on her shoulders and chest so heavily it was making it hard for her to breathe. “I am so sorry.”

“Hey, hey, stop!” Oliver told her, his voice tight and throaty. “It’s not your fault.”

“Yes, it is.” She could see his fear and his worry, clashing and melding in his blue eyes, raw and throbbing. “I was the one running in the stairs!” She let out, a tear rolling down her cheeks.

“Felicity, baby, please stop! It’s not your fault.” His warm hand fell on her stomach. “Are you in pain? Does it hurt?” She shook her head in response. “It’s good, no? No pain is good. It has to be good, right?” He sounded as desperate as he looked. And she knew what it was doing.

He was desperately looking for hope, for something to hold on to.

And he was looking absolutely anywhere, even if it didn’t make sense.

“Oliver, I can’t feel _anything_ ,” she said, her desperation matching his, fear laced to it in her voice.

“That’s pretty normal considering that you’re only a bit more than eight weeks pregnant,” a third voice explained.

They both turned around to see a doctor walking inside a room.

“Mr. Queen, Miss Smoak, I am doctor Anderson and I’ll be the gynaecologist who will be taking care of you today,” he introduced himself, a warm smile on his lips.

Oliver shook the doctor’s hand and Felicity noticed that he was shaking slightly. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest. It was all her fault. If she hadn’t run in the stairs that day, he wouldn’t be in pain right now.

He wouldn’t be crazy worried.

The doctor put on some latex gloves and turned toward Felicity.

“So I heard that you fell in the stairs. Can you please tell me what happened exactly?”

She explained how she had fallen and how she had gotten injured. Doctor Anderson nodded and asked her a few questions. He seemed satisfied with her answers.

“I am going to perform an ultrasound, to see if everything’s alright and then I’ll let my colleagues take you down for an X-ray. I heard that you refused to take painkillers?”

“You refused to take painkillers?” Oliver’s slightly frustrated voice following his question.

“The baby comes first,” she replied, her good hand finding one of Oliver’s, who had just sat down next to her. “Besides, the ice is helping with the pain.” He squeezed her fingers lightly and she didn’t have to actually look at him to see that the very idea of her in pain was repulsing him.

Doctor Anderson nodded, bringing the ultrasound’s machine toward them. He tugged her blouse away and put some cold gel on her stomach. Her heart skipped a bit as he brought the mouse closer to her skin. This was it. She was going to know if…

“Wait a second,” Oliver asked, earning looks of surprised from both the doctor and Felicity.

“Oliver what…?” She felt like her heart was going to burst in her chest at any moment now. The suspense was killing her, the desire to know burning her.

She needed to know, _now_.

His free hand tugged a few strands of hair away from her forehead and stroked her soft skin smoothly. “I just want you to know that I love you. No matter what,” he added, bringing her hand up to his mouth, his lips brushing her knuckles tenderly.

She nodded firmly, not trusting her voice at this very moment.

Doctor Anderson pressed the mouse on the gel, spreading it out on her belly. Soon after, they heard the fast, constant whooshing sound that they had heard merely a few days ago.

“That’s your baby’s heart,” Doctor Anderson said. “It’s strong and steady as it should be!”

A tear rolled down Felicity’s cheek. Oliver wiped it away. “Do you hear that?” He whispered, more positive emotions shining in his eyes as well as his whole body relaxed into hers. Gone were the frantic worry and fear. Gone were the desperation and the uncertainty. He looked like someone had lifted a weight off of his shoulders. And she knew that because that was exactly how she felt.

She closed her eyes for a second, not answering his question, letting the sound of her baby’s heart fill her ears and warm her heart. “Yes,” she eventually whispered back, “Yes, I can,” she repeated, smiling happily as he leaned down to peck her lips once. She kept smiling against his lips, pecking them back.

“I don’t see any signs of placental abruption or any internal bleeding. You’re all good, both you and your baby.”

Felicity let out a shaky breath, relief washing through her as everything settled within her: the baby was okay, she hadn’t lost it. Everything else could be figured out later.

The baby was fine and it was the only thing that mattered.

“Do you see that, right here?” Doctor Anderson asked, pointing at the baby’s form on the screen.

Felicity and Oliver both stared at the screen but didn’t see anything.

“Wait a second,” Doctor Anderson encouraged them, “Yes, that’s it!”

They saw the baby’s image flickered on the screen and Felicity frowned, surprised. “What’s that?”

“That, mommy, is your baby moving,” Doctor Anderson explained. “You’re eight weeks pregnant now and babies start moving around that time. It seems that yours really enjoys that. Look, it looks like its dancing in your belly.”

Felicity smiled, staring at Oliver. “It’s most definitely your child,” she told him, all the times they had danced together clear in her mind.

“Sending that right back at you baby,” he shot back, a goofy smile on his lips.

“Well, that much was obvious,” Doctor Anderson commented, a bright smile on his lips.

He let them watch the baby move inside her belly for another minute, knowing that they probably needed to see it for a while after what they had just been through. The more she looked at the flickering form of her baby on the screen, the more Felicity found herself craving for the moment when she would finally be able to feel her baby. She hadn’t really been looking forward her insides turning into a playground but now, after what she had experienced, after coming close to lose her baby, she really was looking forward to it. She wanted to feel it move, she wanted to feel it inside her. She wanted to be able to tell if it was okay or not. She wanted it to kick her to reassure her. But mainly, she wanted to feel it. And she wanted Oliver to feel it. She wanted him to be able to just put a hand on her belly and know that they were okay. That they would be okay.

After a while, Doctor Anderson finished the ultrasound and cleaned her stomach before letting Oliver put the blouse back on her properly.

“So now, I do recommend that you stay in bed for the next few days. Take it easy, get some rest, don’t push yourself. Contact your gynaecologist if you feel any pain, any discomfort or if you start bleeding again. You should be fine though, so really try not to worry too much, okay?”

“Okay, thank you doctor,” Felicity said, holding out her good hand to shake his.

“You’re very welcome,” he shook her hand lightly before shaking Oliver’s. “Try to avoid stairs for the next seven months. I’d hate to see you here again before your due date.”

Felicity chuckled nervously. “I’ll be very careful, don’t worry.”

“I’ll go tell the radiology that they can take you for an X-ray for both your wrist and shoulder.”

Oliver and Felicity nodded, watching his retreating form before he stopped at the door.

“Can I say something very unprofessional?” He asked, turning around to face them once again.

Felicity tilted her head. “Sure.”

He offered them a genuine smile and said, his voice soft and warm. “I think that you make a beautiful couple.” He walked out of the room before they could reply anything.

Oliver leaned down toward Felicity’s forehead, kissing it tenderly. He let a long, exhausted breath out and that’s how she knew that he was still worrying.

“I am s…”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” he cut her off, his hand squeezing hers.

She nodded, then asked. “Where is Thea? They said that she was coming along with you.”

“She went to get you a change of clothes.”

Felicity’s eyes fell on the clothes she had been wearing before coming to the hospital. Jane, the nurse, had put them on a chair. She wasn’t looking forward wearing them any time soon.

 

* * *

 

Jane came to get her a few minutes later. With the help of Oliver, Felicity sat down in a wheel-chair and then left, leaving him to wait for her to come back.

They did an X-ray of both her shoulder and wrist. Her shoulder was okay, slightly strained and her wrist was cracked. She wouldn’t need a cast, but a splint and painkillers were going to be very much needed. When she came back to her room, Oliver wasn’t there.

It surprised her but she figured out that he had gone out to get himself a cup of coffee or something. Jane helped her sit back down on her bed and told her that she was going to go look for the discharge papers.

Oliver came back into her room right after she left, concern all over his face.

“What’s going on?” She asked.

“Your father is there. I just talked to him.”

She felt as if she had just participated to the Ice bucket challenge.

Cold.

Frozen.

“What did you say to him?”

“Nothing, I heard he was looking for you so I asked him who he was and that’s when he told me he was your father. He looked pretty worried and…”

“He should feel worried considering he was the one I was running from when I fell,” she cut him off dryly.

Oliver frowned, concern flooding his face, distorting his beautiful features, a shadow crossing his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that…”

“Felicity, Ollie, finally!”

They both turned around to see a rather breathless Thea standing in the doorway. She was carrying a backpack and Felicity assumed that her change of clothes was in it. Thea rushed to her friend’s side and engulfed her in a hug.

“God you got me so worried Lissy! Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

“We’re both okay!” Felicity said, the words barely passing her lips since Thea was hugging her really tightly. “It may not last though.” Thea didn’t let go of her. “Thea, you’re crushing me!”

“Oops sorry!” Her friend pulled away and Felicity stared at her in awe. She hadn’t known that the young Queen had such a strong grip.

Jane came in with the discharge papers. Felicity signed everything that needed to be signed and the nurse left, wishing her to get better soon. Once she was gone, the Queen siblings both helped her into the clothes Thea had brought her, yoga pants and an oversized jumper.

“Thea Queen, you’re amazing,” Felicity said, her hands roaming over her yoga pants appreciatively. They were very comfortable, just what she needed.  

Thea grinned. “I know thank you!” Her grin faded away quickly, replaced by a crease between her eyebrows. “Now let’s get to the not so funny part.”

Felicity tilted her head. “What’s going on?” She asked as she struggled to get into her shoes because of her splint. Oliver came to help her and delicately put both her feet in her shoes.

“Well, you didn’t leave Palmer Tech without people noticing and rumour has it that you’ve been taken to the hospital.”

Felicity groaned. “Let me guess, journalists and photographers are waiting outside for us?”

Thea nodded. “Yes, I am afraid.”

“I’ll go get the car,” Oliver quickly decided. “Don’t go out by the front door, meet me at the back entrance.”

He left them then and the two young women made their way through the hospital. Unfortunately for Felicity, they ran into her father, who was still waiting for her in the hallway. Seeing him again, tugged at something in her heart and she felt tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. She blinked quickly fighting them back. She was not going to cry for him. She had done that enough in her life already. He didn’t deserve any of the tears she might have left in her for him.

“Felicity,” he whispered, approaching them carefully.

She stopped, Thea at her sides staring at her father interrogatively. “Who’s this?”

“What do you want?” She asked through gritted teeth, ignoring Thea’s question.

“Just to make sure that you’re okay. I am so sorry…”

She raised a hand to cut him off. “I am okay, you can leave now and go back to pretend that I don’t exist.”

“Felicity, I know I messed up, big time, but I… All I am asking for is a chance to explain. I just want to talk to you.”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she replied coldly.

“I know you’re mad, but please, think about it. There are so many things that we need to talk about and…” He held out his hand for her, handing her a piece of paper. “When you are ready, give me a call. Please.”

She took the piece of paper from him. He turned around and left then, as she clenched her good fist around the small piece of paper.

“Well, who was that?” Thea asked, staring at Felicity with a worried expression on her face.

The blonde sighed.

“My father,” she answered, her voice trembling, her throat tight with emotions.

 

* * *

 

The drive back to the mansion was spent in complete silence. Felicity felt tired, even more so now that she had given in and taken painkillers and neither Oliver nor Thea really felt like talking. When they arrived at the mansion, they were greeted by two very worried Moira Queen and Raisa. After they were done reassuring the both of them, Oliver and Felicity climbed upstairs to their room. She collapsed on the bed, groaning when the fall pulled at something in her bad shoulder. She felt the bed dipped next to her and she opened her eyes, to see that Oliver was sitting next to her, eyeing her expectedly.

“What?” She asked, her head tilted in confusion.

“Are you going to tell me what you were doing at PT?”

She let out a deep breath. With everything that had happened, she had completely forgotten why she had been at PT that day in the first place.

She had been there because she had learnt that her husband had been cheating for a long, very long, time with his executive assistant. It hurt. It really hurt. Felicity didn’t want for it to hurt but it hurt. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t in love with Ray anymore or that she had cheated on him herself. He had betrayed her at a time where she had still believed in them as a couple and it hurt. It freaking hurt, because for so long she had blamed herself, she had thought that she had been responsible for the things that had gone wrong in their marriage. She had thought that she wasn’t a good wife enough, that she wasn’t pretty enough, that she wasn’t worth his time or his attention anymore. And all of this time, the reason hadn’t been that. It had been a much different, a much simpler one: he had found someone else.

Clearing her throat, she said. “I was making sure that Ray wouldn’t terminate his contract with Queen Consolidated.”

Oliver’s eyes went wide. “What?”

“His EA called me yesterday and when we met for coffee, she told me that they had an affair together.”

Oliver blinked, his mouth agape. “What?” He repeated.

She smiled bitterly. “You heard me, he’s been screwing her behind my back for a long time. She didn’t give me any details and I didn’t ask for any but apparently their thing started even before we moved in Starling City.”

Oliver blinked again, several times before getting on his feet, anger radiating off of him in waves so strong she could feel them. “I am going to punch him,” he said, his voice turned into some kind of a growl by the storm of emotions that was raging inside of him.

“Oliver, please no,” she told him, standing up as well.

“No Felicity! This is not okay! I can’t believe the audacity of him, his hypocrisy! He’s been cheating on you Felicity, he has disrespected you in every way a man can disrespect a woman,” he paused to take a breath and then went on. “I know what you’re going to say, that we aren’t any better because we had an affair too but that’s not the same thing at all. You never manipulated him, used his fears against him or made him feel like he was worth nothing! Ray’s just one vile cockroach whose cheek deserves to meet my fist!”

“I wasn’t going to say that we aren’t any better than him, I know we are.” She played with the hem of his Henley before adding. “And that’s because we are better than him that we aren’t going to punch him.”

“I am sorry Felicity but I can’t just stay here and do nothing. He’s hurt you so much and I hate him so much and…” He ran a hand through his hair, desperately trying to get a grip on his emotions. “He can’t get away with this.”

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it firmly. “He’s not. I told him that if he terminated his contract with QC, I’d tell the journalists about his affair. It’s over Oliver. He has signed the papers, I’ll be divorced before Christmas and QC won’t lose its partnership. It’s over, really over and that’s what we need to focus on.”

He arched an eyebrow. “You used his affair as leverage to get him to keep working with QC?” He asked in disbelief.

She nodded. “That way, your father won’t be mad at us anymore. Or at least, less mad.” She chuckled bitterly. “So much for not manipulating him, uh?”

“Are you okay?” Oliver asked, his voice lower, softer. He was still angry, she could see his anger boiling in his blue orbs but his concern for her was soothing it.

“I’d be lying if I told you that I was. But it’ll pass… Eventually.”

Oliver nodded. He brought the hand that had been holding his to his lips and gently kissed her knuckles. Then he sat back down on their bed, dragging her onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her, intertwining his fingers together, holding her close to him.

She knew what he was doing.

He was cocooning her.

And she also knew why he was doing this.

“What was your father doing at PT?” He whispered softly against her temple.

She shut her eyes. She had expected the words. They took her by surprise nonetheless.

Her father.

She had seen her father.

She could so easily let go of Ray’s affair, she could so easily push back the pain of his betrayal, because what it did to her was nothing compared to what the sight of her father first at Palmer Tech and then at the hospital had done to her.

How many times had she wished to see him again? How many times had she wished for him to come back to her? How many times had she wished that he would come back into her life?

The answer was a lot. As a little girl, she had wished for that a lot.

Then she had grown up and she had accepted the fact that he’d never come back.

Now he had and she didn’t know what to say or what to do. She didn’t even know what she was feeling. It was a weird mix of numbness, confusion, anger and fear.

“He said that he was working at Palmer Tech. I don’t think that he expected to see me today. He looked as surprised as I was.”

“While you were talking with my mom, Thea mentioned that you talked to him at the hospital. That he gave you his number.”

“Yeah, he did. He wants me to call him, he wants to talk.”

“Do you want to?” Oliver asked softly.

“I told him that I didn’t,” she explained. “But now, I am not so sure anymore. I don’t know what I want or what to do.”

“Can I tell you what I think?” Oliver asked politely.

She nodded firmly. “Of course.”

“When I suggested that we leave Starling City for a while, you said that you didn’t want to take our baby away from its family. Now, today, part of your family is reaching out to you and I think that you should reach back. At least once.”

“I am not sure that I want my father involve in our lives,” she whispered. “I don’t trust him.”

“I don’t trust him either Felicity, but earlier at the hospital, he seemed,” Oliver hesitated, looking for the right word. “He seemed really worried. He wasn’t faking it that much I can tell. And I think that maybe you should talk to him. Just once. It could do you some good to hear what he has to say. It could bring you some kind of closure.”

“It’s just that…” She closed her eyes, feeling her emotions overwhelm her. “I didn’t expect to see him today… We really don’t need that kind of drama on top of everything else.”

“I know… But it’s happening. And maybe it’s not a coincidence.”

“Maybe…” She remained silent for a while after that, not feeling like finishing her sentence. She didn’t know what else to say. She knew she’d need some alone time to think about it, to weigh the pros and cons. To give her mom a call and ask for her advice.

She leaned against Oliver’s chest, bringing herself impossibly closer to him, seeking his warmth and comfort in his embrace. He lied back on the bed, with her in his arm and they stayed like that for a while, her listening to his heartbeat, her cheek plastered against his chest, him sliding a hand under her top to draw meaningless but soothing patterns on the bare skin of her hip.

She heard him sigh and so she gripped the fabric of his Henley more tightly, trying to give him as much comfort as he was giving her.

“Are you okay?” She whispered, although she already knew the answer.

“Not really,” he whispered back.

She remained silent, waiting for him to speak again. “I was at _Verdant_ when Thea got the call. She was passing by, to see Roy. One minute we were laughing and eating burgers and the minute after her phone was ringing and some doctor was telling her that you’d been taken to Starling General because you had fallen in the stairs…” His voice shook and failed him and it took him some time to get it back under control. “I think that my heart stopped beating but blood was still pounding in my ears. It – it was the only thing I could grasp. The pain in my chest, the dizziness of my mind. I couldn’t comprehend anything, the thought of losing you or our baby…” His voice broke and this time he didn’t get it back under control. Instead, his hand on her back flexed and pressed, bringing her even closer to him.

“I can’t lose you Felicity,” she heard him say, his fear making her close her eyes and holding onto him tighter, hugging him back as much as she could in spite of her injured hand and shoulder.

“You didn’t. You won’t!” She assured, crawling up his chest to press kisses in the crook of his neck. He didn’t completely relax into her touch, much to her disappointment.

“I’ll make sure of it,” he said, kissing her hair, his hand resuming its drawing on her back.

She groaned. Of course he was going to hover.

She nuzzled the crook of his neck more, breathing him in, her own breath ghosting over his warm skin. She rested her arm with her sore shoulder along her body, her hand finding his, her fingers intertwining with his. Her hand in a cast made its way to his heart and it stayed there, his heartbeat echoing against her palm.

“Can we talk about something lighter?” She asked when she felt that he was starting to relax.

“Sure,” Oliver nodded, kissing the tip of her nose. “What do you want to talk about?”

She raised up her head, her eyes falling on the ultrasound of their baby they had placed on one of the bedside table. “Maybe we could talk about our baby?”

Oliver smiled brightly and it melt her insides. He was going to be an amazing dad, she could feel it in her bones. “I’d like that very much. Our little boy is going to be a heartbreaker with his perfect smile and amazing brain.”

Felicity chuckled lightly. “You seem to be very sure that we’re going to have a boy Mr. Queen!”

“I really don’t know. I just picture him as a boy in my head. Is that weird?” He asked and she rolled from her position on top of him to her side, earning a few protests in response. But she didn’t listen to any of them. She wanted to see his face because his eyes shone so brightly when he spoke of their baby it would have been a shame to miss it. His hand that had been separated from her hip by her motion, fell at her waist and it stayed there, holding onto her tightly.

“Well, _I_ think you should start picturing her as a girl,” Felicity whispered. “Because if there is any justice in this world, former playboy Oliver Queen will only have daughters.”

Oliver closed his eyes at her words and she frowned.

“Hey! I am just kidding.”

“Does it bother you?” He eventually whispered.

“What?”

“That I have… That I used to… Well, you know.”

“Have fun?” She suggested, a teasing smile on her lips.

“Yeah that,” he agreed, wincing.

She smiled softly at him, her hand coming up to stroke his cheek. “No, it doesn’t. Because you’re not that person anymore, you’ve changed, just like I have. I’ve never met that playboy, it wouldn’t be fair to hold his actions against you.”

He let a shaky breath out and her heart clenched in her chest at the sight of him looking so unsure.

“I love you Oliver. You’ve always been good to me, you’ve loved me when I couldn’t do it myself, you’ve helped me get my old self back as well as discovering new parts of me I never suspected existed… You’ve brought me so much Oliver and I love you. All of you and that includes your past.”

He stared at her for a while, frozen. She shifted under his gaze, not feeling comfortable which was odd, because she always felt good when she was with him.

“What?” She asked.

“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you,” he confessed almost shyly, his hand coming up to stroke her cheek, mirroring her own hand softly caressing his own cheek.

She closed her eyes, her lower lip trembling slightly. She took his words in and accepted them without questioning them. She trusted him, so much, enough to past through her insecurities.

“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you too,” she whispered back softly when she felt like she could speak again.

And it was true. So, so true. She had never been that connected, both physically and emotionally, to anyone before.

“Good,” he said, leaning down toward her. “Because you’re stuck with me.” He kissed her then, tenderly at first and then more heatedly. His tongue asked for entrance which she granted. Theirs hands roamed over each other’s bodies, looking for more skin to touch, when suddenly Oliver pulled away.

“Were you serious about the whole justice thing?” He panted against her lips.

She arched an eyebrow in question.

“Because Tommy and I really want to make a basket-ball team with our kids!”

She chuckled lightly and resumed kissing him.

 

* * *

 

When Felicity woke up, Oliver was gone. Frowning, she rolled on her side and reached for her phone. It was past six pm, it was the time he usually came to meet Tommy at the club but he had promised her that he wouldn’t go today, so where was he? She sat on the bed and saw that he had left her a note saying that he had indeed left to go to _Verdant_ because something had come up _._ He promised he’d be back for dinner though, so she smiled softly, falling back on the mattress.

Exhaling slowly, she tried to ignore the pain she was feeling in her body – another consequence from her fall, she’d feel sore for the next few days. Getting up, she got out of the room, looking for Thea. She met Robert downstairs.

“Felicity, I was looking for you. Moira called me, she said that you had fallen in the stairs at PT. How are you feeling?”

“A bit sore, but it’ll pass, thank you for asking.”

“Of course dear. What about the baby?”

“Baby’s fine, we’re both fine, really.”

They stood there for an awkward second, not saying anything. Robert was still mad at both her and Oliver, it was the most cordial exchange they had had in days.

“Ray called me today. He said that he wasn’t going to terminate his contract with QC. I assume that you have something to do with that shift in the situation, since you were at PT today.”

“I may or may have not reminded Ray that it’d be best for him if he kept working with you.”

“That’s what I’ve been telling him for days. It didn’t seem to matter to him.”

“Well, I can be very persuasive,” she admitted. “And the fact that I know about an indiscretion of his certainly helped me rest my case.”

Robert frowned. “Oh. I see.”

She shrugged. “I am glad I could make him change his mind. And once again, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for all the trouble that I’ve caused you…”

He raised his hand to stop her. “Oliver is as much to blame for this as you are dear.”

She tilted her head. “Mr. Queen, may I ask you a question?” She was about to cross a line, she knew it and she didn’t care. Someone needed to tell Robert that it was time for him to let go of his expectations for him and that it was time for him to start accepting his son for who he was.

“Sure, go ahead.”

“What’s your problem with Oliver?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” she told him. “What’s your problem with Oliver? You are always so judgmental when it comes to him. Always reminding of his past mistakes, always blaming for everything. Yes, it wasn’t a smart move to get pregnant. But it’s not like we did it on purpose! Or that it’s only Oliver’s fault. I was there too, and a very willing participant.”

“I don’t approve of his choices.”

“So what? You’re going to be mad at him for the rest of your life?”

“This is none of your business Felicity,” he told her.

“Yes, it is. You’re hurting him and you don’t even see it. I am sorry but I can’t stand there and just do nothing.”

“Oliver ran away from his responsibilities, from his duty to his family more often than not when he was younger. He was reckless and impulsive back then and that child that’s growing inside of you is the proof that he hasn’t changed at all.”

“Yes, he has. You just refuse to acknowledge it. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but for the last few weeks, he’s stood beside you as well, trying to find a solution for QC, with you. He is not running from his responsibilities anymore. He is standing by my side, he’s here to help his family. He has settled down, he has a lucrative business… He is a good man. Yes, he’s made mistakes but we all make mistakes, whether we are twenty or sixty and I think that it’s time for you to realise that we don’t have children so that they can be just like us. I know that I don’t want my baby to be like me, or like its father. I want it to be its own person.”

“You really love him, don’t you?” Robert eventually said. “My son, I mean.”

She nodded. “Yes, I do.”

“I do too you know.”

“You shouldn’t be saying this to me,” was all she replied.

 

* * *

 

It’s when they thought that everything was over, when they thought that everything would be okay, that things got bad all over again.

The day after Felicity’s accident at Palmer Tech, an article revealing that Felicity was pregnant was published in Starling City Sentinel. Apparently, someone had overheard that she was pregnant when the paramedics had come to get her at PT. The journalist who had written the article asked a question at the end of his article.

_“Who’s the father?”_

Because apparently, it didn’t make any sense that she was asking for a divorce while pregnant with her husband’s baby.

Felicity had always thought that her pregnancy would come out on her own terms and conditions. But just like for the news of her divorce, things had escaped from her control and the last thing left for her to do was limiting the damages. And limiting the damages she did. As soon as they were done reading the article, Oliver and Felicity decided to make a public statement, explaining that he was the baby’s father and asking for the respect of their privacy. They talked to QC’s PR team through the phone – it was unthinkable for Felicity to leave the mansion – and had its leader write a public statement that would be released the following day.

Unfortunately for them, things didn’t go as planned. That shouldn’t have surprised them though. Things _never_ went according to the plan when it came to them.

The problem with journalists was that they were really good at putting pieces back together. That’s why they were capable to write stories from nothing, or barely anything. Because they were smart enough to find the missing pieces or organise them when they weren’t making any sense. The day of the article’s publication, a few articles were released online, reminding people that Felicity Smoak-Palmer had always been very close of Oliver Queen. Some pictures of the Queen’s Christmas Party, of the charity for Starling General Hospital and of the 4th July were attached to all these articles. So when they made their public statement, no one was surprised.

Once their statement was released everything they had feared would happen, happened. Not even a day later, everyone was wondering where and when their relationship had started, for how long Felicity has truly been separated from Ray, if he had known about any of this, of if “playboy Ollie” and “upstart Felicity” had just screwed behind his back and were now dealing with the “direct consequences” of their “indiscretions”. People had actually a lot of questions and Felicity just found it weird. Couldn’t they just focus on their own problems? Why did they care so much about someone else’s? And why did they feel like it was okay to assume things about people? Didn’t they know that their words actually hurt people?

To Felicity’s biggest surprised, Anna kept the promise she had made her when they had had coffee together. Three days after they had released their public statement, Ray released one of his own. He explained that his wife and he had been separated for a while now and although accepting the separation and the divorce hadn’t been easy, and the fact that they had tried to put a brave face on for a very long time, they had eventually come to an amicable agreement.

Yeah, whatever he said.

It did Felicity and Oliver some good nonetheless.

Because as soon as it was publicly claimed that Felicity had been separated from a husband for a while, most people started forgetting about her “scandalous affair” with “former playboy Ollie” and wondering about their relationship and their “little prince” or “little princess”. Because yes, apparently, it was that hard to come up with something more original.

Of course, there was still idiots who write nasty things about them. But they weren’t that many anymore.

Journalists were calling them several times a day, trying to get information from them or an exclusive interview with the two of them. QC’s PR team was taking care of everything, making sure that no other information about them or their situation leaked, and sticking to the usual _“Miss Smoak’s divorce should be finalised soon”, “they are just a young couple”_ , _“they are trying to settle down”_ , _“they would like for their privacy to be respected”._ Problem was: this wasn’t enough. This wasn’t satisfying. People wanted to see them, people wanted to hear what they had to say. That’s why the PR team’s leader suggested that they made a public apparition. It would buy them some time, help them get the journalists off of their backs for a while.

They settled their first public apparition on December the 22nd and they decided to attend the Queen Christmas party. It was an event organised by their family for Starling’s elite and their closest friend. All they had to do, according to the team’s leader, was going there and wooing everyone. The journalists would get the pictures they so desperately wanted and they would see that Oliver and Felicity were a true couple. They also suggested that they made a few comments about their upcoming baby.

_“People love babies,_ ” he told them. _“They’ll forget and forgive everything if there is a cute baby involve at some point.”_

Well, that was a big no to that for Felicity. She wasn’t going to expose her unborn baby to these vultures. She did agree to go the party, she understood that a public apparition would do them some good, but she firmly refused to talk about the baby. The team’s leader suggested that they talked about themselves instead, talked about their future, what they were planning to do.

_“If you show them that you know where you are going_ ,” he told them, _“they’re more likely going to believe that you’ve been planning this for a long time. That you are serious and truly committed to each other.”_

That’s when Felicity and Oliver realised that they had been too busy to talk about what they wanted to do.

So they did. They talked about their future. About what they were going to do.

They chose to spend Christmas with the Queens and stayed at the mansion until the end of the holiday. Then, they’d move back into his apartment and start looking for a place for themselves.

They’d start looking for a family home.

“This is going to be one hell of a party,” Oliver said as they lied in bed, two nights before the party.

“I am not worried,” she told him, her finger squeezing his.

“Why is that?” He asked, an eyebrow arched.

“Because as long as we are together and stick to the plan, I know that everything is going to be okay.”

 

* * *

 

Ever since Felicity had found out that she was pregnant, she had stepped away from her job. She had kept her commitments and had done all the jobs she had been hired for but she hadn’t set up new appointments or accept any other jobs. She was grateful that she had, because now she was stuck at the Queen mansion, not only because the doctor at the hospital had told her to stay in bed for a few days but also because facing an army of paparazzi wasn’t something that her very high level of stress needed.

Two days before the party, she found herself trying on a dress that Moira had purchased for her. Most of her dresses were body fitting and Felicity didn’t want to wear that kind of dresses at the party. She didn’t want anyone’s eyes glued to her stomach. There wasn’t any bump visible yet – except for her and Oliver but that was because they were both very well acquainted with her body – but she knew that people would scrutinize her, trying to catch a glimpse of her and she wasn’t going to make the task easy for them. Hence, the not body-fitting dress.

“That dress is truly beautiful, thank you Moira.”

“You are very welcome dear. I’ve been meaning to ask you if you wanted to invite you mother over for Christmas? I know that you’re Jewish but as a matter of fact, Hanukkah starts on the 24th this year. It would be lovely to celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah together.”

Felicity blinked several times. “I don’t know what to say…”

“Just say yes, dear.”

“Well, I don’t want to cause you more trouble than I already have!”

“Oh that’s nonsense Felicity! I am really looking forward meeting your mother.”

“Oliver too,” Felicity confessed.

“It’s settled then. Would you mind calling her? Or you can give me her phone number. I’ll arrange everything with her.”

“No, don’t worry, I’ll call her,” Felicity said. “Thank you,” she quickly added. “Not just for my mom, but for everything else. You’ve been really kind to me and… I just wanted to thank you.”

“Well, you’ll realise soon enough that there is nothing a mother wouldn’t do for her child. Or for her grand-child.”

Felicity smiled at her. “Thank you again.”

“Don’t mention it, please. Now, do you know if Oliver is going to come back and have lunch with us?”

She shook her head. “He was supposed to call me.” Her phone rang just as she was saying the words. “That’s probably him.” She picked up. “Hey Oliver, I…”

_“Miss Felicity Smoak?”_ A feminine voice with a British accent asked.

“Who’s this?” She asked. “How did you get this number?”

_“My name is Elisabeth Kutler. I am your father’s wife.”_

Felicity almost dropped her phone on the floor when she heard the news.

What the frack?

Her father had a wife.

And she was calling her.

Her father’s wife.

She stood there, frozen in place. She could hear the woman speak on the other side of the line but she was unable to make out the words she was saying.

She hadn’t called her father. She had wanted to but hadn’t found the right moment to do so with everything that had happened.

And now, she was on the phone with his wife.

“Felicity dear are you okay?” Moira asked.

Felicity gave her a panicked look. Moira, who wasn’t a woman that could be easily intimidated, took the phone from her and started talking to the woman on the other side of the line. Felicity watched her, unable to comprehend what was happening.

“Felicity, Mrs. Kutler would like to speak with you. Is it okay if I invite her for tea this afternoon? Felicity?” She insisted after Felicity didn’t reply to her.

She shook her head, trying to come back to her senses. “Will my father be with her?”

“No dear, he won’t.”

“What does she have to tell me?”

“She says she can’t say it over the phone. But it seems really important and serious.”

She shut her eyes. She didn’t really to meet her but… She didn’t want to back down. She wasn’t a coward.

“Then okay.”

Moira gave her a small smile, told Mrs. Kutler to be here at four and then hung up.

“Felicity are you okay? You look pale.”

She wasn’t really okay. But she would listen to what her father’s wife had to say. Maybe it would be easier to talk to her first. Felicity had no idea.

She was going to give it a try nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Honestly, I love Olicity so much, I could have never ever made her lose the baby. I !
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	19. December 2016 part. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!
> 
> This is it, the last chapter.  
> I am so sad, you can't possibly imagine how hard it has been for me to write this and how hard it is to post it.  
> The epilogue will be coming some time during the weekend. I'll write down all the things that I want to tell you then. For now, I am just gonna thank you for your support and patience, you guys are the best!
> 
> Happy reading!!

As usual the Polyvore sets.

The tea party [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapitre_18_coffee_time_felicity/set?id=192197806) / [(Moira)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_18_coffee_time_moira/set?id=193190961) / [(Elisabeth)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_18_coffee_time_elisabeth/set?id=192194796)

The Christmas party [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_18_christmas_party_felicity/set?id=191463188) / [(Laurel)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_18_christmas_party_laurel/set?id=191462092) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_18_christmas_party_thea/set?id=191462485) / [(Moira)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_18_christmas_party_moira/set?id=191461311) / [(Anna)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapitre_18_christmas_party_anna/set?id=192459856)

Chrismas [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_18_christmas_eve_felicity/set?id=191468187) / [(Donna)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_18_christmas_eve_donna/set?id=191467404) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_18_christmas_eve_thea/set?id=191467038) / [(Moira)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_18_christmas_eve_moira/set?id=191467556)

The Kutler's house [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_18_kutlers_house_felicity/set?id=191636777)

New Year's Eve [(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapitre_18_new_years_eve/set?id=192393091) / [(Laurel)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapitre_18_new_years_eve/set?id=192390846) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/chapitre_18_new_years_eve/set?id=192391318)

 

* * *

 

December 2016 part 4.

 

Oliver came back to have lunch with them and as soon as Felicity told him about the call from her father’s wife, he offered to stay with her, to go through this with her. She smiled at that, because she had had a bet going on with herself about whether or not he would say something like that. And if her smile lingered longer than it should have, it was simply because she was truly moved by his dedication. He was completely and utterly dedicated to her.

Moira told him that he didn’t have to worry though, that she was going to stay with Felicity and make sure that she was okay.

“It’s your last night before you close the club for a few days,” Moira reminded him. “You need to be there.”

Oliver and Tommy never closed any of their clubs, _Verdant, II, III, IV_ or _V_ except for a few days in December. Most of the time they closed around the 20th or the 21st and opened again on the 27th. They both thoroughly enjoyed Christmas and would rather spend the time around Christmas with their family instead of working. By closing the clubs, they granted that for them, but also granted that for their employees.

“You don’t have to worry about Felicity,” Moira added. “I was the one who offered to invite Mrs Kutler over therefore I’ll stay with them throughout the whole conversation.”

Still, Oliver didn’t look convince. He turned to look at Felicity, his eyes meeting hers and looking for something, anything that would tell him she wasn’t okay. She held up his gaze, nodding reassuringly. She was going to be okay, he didn’t have to worry.

“You call me if you need anything,” he said, his voice edgy.

She nodded. She should be the one feeling edgy. And she was, if the fast beating of her heart and the swirl in her stomach were any indication but on the other hand, she wasn’t afraid. She knew Moira wouldn’t have invited her father’s wife if she had felt that something was off with her. And she also knew that Moira wouldn’t let her down.

“I have a feeling that you’re gonna flood me with worried texts,” she replied on what she hoped was a lighter and more teasing tone.

He pinched his lips together until they were just a thin line on his face. “Yeah, I might do just that…”

She shook her head and, lifting herself on her tiptoes to reach his face, she kissed his lips. “Now go,” she ordered him, patting his chest with her good hand. “I wish I could come with you to the party,” she added sighing.

It was his turn to shake his head and when he spoke, his tone was firm but gentle. “We’ve already talked about that. You need to rest.”

“It’s the only thing I’ve been doing for the past few days,” she reminded him.

He gave her a look and she gave in, knowing that having this conversation all over again would lead absolutely nowhere. The man could be stubborn. “I know, I know, first public appearance on Tuesday.”

“Good. I’ll see you tonight. Don’t wait for me!”

She nodded, although she knew that she probably wouldn’t sleep before he was back. He turned around, glancing at her one last time before walking out.

“So Felicity, what kind of cake or pie would you like Raisa to bake for this afternoon?” Moira asked, a small smile lingering on her lips.

 

* * *

 

Elisabeth Kutler arrived at five pm exactly.

She wasn’t like Felicity had thought she would be.

Actually, Felicity hadn’t really thought about what she would be like.

But when she saw a very beautiful blonde woman with curly hair and bright green eyes hidden behind round glasses, wearing wide leg trousers with a stripped tee-shirt, she knew she hadn’t been expecting that.

Which was weird, because she didn’t know her father so there was no way she could have been expecting anything.

Elisabeth introduced herself politely, her British accent echoing nicely in Felicity’s ears.

“I am so glad I finally get to meet you Felicity,” she said, shaking her good hand softly.

“Likewise,” Felicity replied, her voice a bit throaty. “I guess,” she added, letting go Elisabeth’s hand. “And allow me to introduce you to Moira Queen, my…” She hesitated. Baby’s father’s mother was a bit long. Baby’s grand-mother? Felicity mentally shook her head at that.

Thankfully, Moira came in to save her. “Her mother-in-law,” she completed, giving Felicity a stroke, “keep things simple dear,” she added for Felicity who was still staring at her with her eyes wide open.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too Mrs Queen, and thank you for receiving me here today.”

“It’s nothing,” Moira assured as she led them all to the beautiful patio of the Queen mansion where they were going to have tea. The three women sat down, Moira and Elisabeth exchanging platitudes about the weather and Felicity staring at her father’s wife, gauging her.

Elisabeth Kutler was a very beautiful woman, with a bright smile and warm eyes. But… There was something with her, something wrong. She had bags under her eyes that even her very well-applied makeup couldn’t hide, her skin was pale and she was thin. Really thin. Felicity was pretty sure that a strong gust of wind could have taken her away.

Raisa came in soon after they had settled, bringing with her steaming cup of teas and a home-made apple pie, with a home-made whipped cream to go with it.

“You shouldn’t have gone through all the trouble,” Elisabeth said, as Raisa was serving her a slice of pie.

Moira just smiled at her. “It was no problem at all,” she assured. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a guest here at the mansion. Things have been pretty hectic for us lately so I am really happy to be able to put my hostess’ skill to good use again.”

Felicity bit on her lips. It was partly her fault if Moira’s habits had been turned upside-down. She focused back on the conversation before her guilt could overwhelm her. She had promised Oliver that she’d stop carrying so much weight on her shoulders that she’d start to let go of things she had no control over.

“Yes, I’ve heard that things have been complicated for you. I really hope that you’re okay Felicity. I was pretty worried when I heard about your… fall at Palmer Technologies.”

Felicity shifted in her chair, suddenly feeling comfortable. “I’m okay now, thanks.” She sipped on her tea before setting the cup down again. “Now, forgive my bluntness, but… Why did you call me?”

“Bluntness forgiven,” Elisabeth replied, a small smile on her lips. “I am not a big fan of tiptoeing as well.” She paused for a second, tossing her tea with her spoon. “I didn’t come here to talk to you about your father. He should be the one telling you his story.”

Felicity nodded, appreciating Elisabeth’s honesty.

“I came here to tell you about me and to ask you something I know I have no right to ask you but… I have to try.”

“If you want to ask me to call my father,” Felicity interrupted her, “you should know that I have already decided to give him a chance to talk to me o least once. But as Moira said, things have been pretty hectic and I haven’t gotten time to give him a call.”

Elisabeth nodded. “I am glad to hear this, but this is not really why I came here for. I won’t lie to you, I was hoping to convince you to meet with your father but once again, this is not the main reason why I am here.”

“Then, what’s the reason?” Moira asked gently.

“Six months ago, Noah and I were living on the other side of the country. We both had a situation there and we were happy, but…” She hesitated, her voice shaking slightly. “I was diagnosed with a stage IV thyroid cancer.”

Felicity’s heart skipped a beat. She didn’t need to be a doctor to know it was bad. Moira set her cup of tea back on the table and gently said. “I am sorry to hear that.”

“It’s incurable but… I’ve made peace with it,” she paused for a second, lost in her memory. “I’ve asked Noah to move here because I… I don’t want to leave without having my family reunited and yes, before you say anything Felicity, I do consider you as my family.”

Felicity crossed her arms over her chest. “So this is why he’s here? Not because he wants to but because you asked him to?” She felt her heart shatter all over again in her chest.

Of course, her father hadn’t come back for her. He didn’t care about her. And she felt stupid because for one short second, she had hoped that maybe, just maybe, he had come back for her. What was left of the eight-year-old she had been had hoped. And now her hopes were being crushed.

“ _As usual,”_ she thought, the bitter taste of the words poisoning her mind.

“No,” Elisabeth said, her voice intransigent. “I just gave him the final push. He… He did want to reach out. He almost did it a couple of times but… He always stopped. He was scared. Scared of being too late.”

Felicity bit her lower lip, to keep from saying anything. She wasn’t going to have that conservation with her father’s wife and it seemed that she didn’t want to because she quickly moved the conversation somewhere else.

Grabbing her purse, she took her wallet out, opened it and handed it to Felicity.

Her hands shaking, Felicity stared at the photograph Elisabeth had wanted her to see.

The girl was sitting on a bench in a park. Her blonde hair was glowing because of the sun and the shape and colour of her bright green eyes looked very familiar. She was smiling softly, an ice-cream in one of her hands, her other hand lost in the creamy fur of a Labrador.

“I am dying Felicity,” Elisabeth said. “I don’t want to intervene in your relationship with your father. Whether you choose to talk to him or not is up to you. But… I don’t want to die knowing that my child is going to be separate from her family. I want her to know you. When I'm gone, she’ll need someone to look up to. And I want that person to be you.”

Felicity shook her head, feeling completely and utterly numb. “But you don't know me,” she whispered, desperately trying to feel something, looking for anger, pain, disappointment, happiness, _anything._ Her mind came back empty handed.

At this very moment, her heart was empty.

“You're right, I don't,” Elisabeth agreed. “But I'd like to change that if that's okay with you. One step at a time.”

 

* * *

 

The rest of the conversation passed in a blur.

Elisabeth talked some more. Felicity listened.

She had a thirteen-year old sister named Julia.

Her mother was dying and she wanted Felicity to know her.

She wanted to fix her family.

It was her last wish.

And it was up to Felicity to grant it.

 

* * *

 

When Oliver came home that night, it was past one am.

Felicity was still awake.

She had called him after Elisabeth had left, telling him everything that had happened, everything that she had learnt. He had wanted to come home immediately but she had asked him not to. She had asked him to wait. To give her some time to process everything she had been told.

He took off his jacket, tossing it aside without checking where it fell and came to lie down on his side, facing her, his arms under his head, mimicking her position.

“How are you feeling?” He asked softly after a while of their usual “I can see all the things you're not saying in your eyes” game.

She was grateful that he hadn’t asked if she was okay. Because, obviously, she wasn’t.

Gone was her numbness from before. It hadn't stayed for long.

Now she was feeling a pain like never before. Her heart was throbbing in her chest, it felt like someone had opened her chest and was sprinkling salt over the still opened wounds left by her father so long ago. The pain was hot and raw, searing waves radiating from her chest to the rest of her body.

“I don’t know,” she replied, her throat tight. “I have so many questions. And they hurt. God they hurt!” She repeated, tears rolling down her cheeks. “How could he have another child after abandoning me? He left me, but he had another child... It means that something was wrong with me, that I wasn’t good enough.”

“Felicity, please don’t think like that,” Oliver begged her, his eyes watery. She knew he was sensitive to her pain and distress. She knew he could feel them as if they were his. “It’s not your fault if he left. And I know, me telling you this is not enough but please, believe me until you can hear it from him. That’s the only thing you need baby. Answers to your questions. And he’s the only one who can give them to you,” Oliver added, moving closer to her, so that she could feel his warmth and bury her face in his solid chest.

“How can I refuse Elisabeth? She looks like a decent person, and she is dying. Dying Oliver. How can I deny her her last wish? What kind of person would I be if I refused? But, how am I supposed to spend time with her? She… She has the father I never had.”

“Felicity, you can’t hold her responsible for your father’s mistakes.”

She nodded. She knew that. She knew it wasn’t her half-sister’s fault. But still, she couldn’t help but feeling jealous. All the things she had always wanted, she had always needed, a loving father, a present father, the girl had had them all.

“I’m not holding her responsible,” she said. “It’s just that seeing her, hearing her talk about him… I don’t know if I can take it. If I am strong enough.”

Oliver didn’t say anything. He just pulled her closer to him and crushed her in his embrace. She broke down against him, and he tightened his grip on her, keeping her together as her heart shattered all over again in her chest.

 

* * *

 

Felicity did not want to go to the Queen Christmas party anymore. She didn't want to face the paparazzi, she didn't want to face flashes and cameras. She didn't want to be questioned. She didn't want to talk about herself.

She just wanted to lie down in Oliver's arms, where she was safe. Where she felt at peace. Where the pain was manageable.

But she couldn't stay home. She had to go.

So she put on a brave smile, a beautiful dress and went, the man she loved by her side.

 

* * *

 

At first, things went as well as expected.

Felicity and Oliver were _the_ talk of the evening. People were staring, people were talking but they handled it smoothly, as if they had been doing it for years. Their connection, their close intimacy, the constant awareness of the other made navigating the troubled waters of Starling's social elite easier. Every time Felicity tensed up and had a hard time smiling, Oliver would held her just a bit tighter, or press a kiss against her neck or cheek or temple. She always melted instantly against him, relaxing under his soft lips. And every time Oliver lost it and had a hard time remaining politically correct – the man had the patience of a two-year-old when it came to journalists and businessmen – Felicity would squeeze his hand or distract him with a joke only them could understand.

They were a true team, a well-oiled machine and the best part of it was that they didn't realise they were doing it. It just happened, naturally.

Things were also made easier by their friends' presence. Tommy and Laurel were present as well. The friendship between Tommy and Oliver was so old, so strong, so anchored into their past, the Queen viewed him as one of theirs and always invited him to public events. He was not only Oliver's friend. He was part of the Queen family.

So yeah, things went as well as expected. Laurel and Thea kept talking about wedding plans and baby shower. Felicity listened to them, not talking much but letting their happy chatting soothe her.

Things were really perfect.

Until they weren't.

Felicity's heart stopped in her chest when she saw Ray enter the room, Anna following him closely behind, like a well-trained puppy. The thought only made Felicity sick.

“Oliver,” she whispered to get his attention.

He turned around, his blue eyes scanning the crowd until he spotted who had caused Felicity's distress. His whole body tensed up when he spotted Ray, who was greeting some investors.

“Mom,” Oliver said, catching Moira's arm. “What is he doing here?”

“Your father just told me he had invited him,” she replied, obviously looking like someone who had been caught off guards. “I swear I didn't know he was going to do such a thing.”

Oliver and Felicity exchanged a look. Robert walked toward them.

“What's he doing here?” Oliver asked his father through gritted teeth, his eyes angry, his voice low.

“Will you please all stop acting like you've been struck by lightning?” Robert asked. “I invited him because I invited all my business partners. If I hadn't, people would have talked, wondered why and thought it was because of you,” he pointed at Felicity. “Or, if I remember well, you and Ray are supposed to have found an amicable arrangement. Meaning that you can cordially ignore each other for three hours.”

Felicity stared blankly at him, her heart throbbing in her chest at the sight of her ex-husband and his executive assistant smiling at all the people present and standing among them as if they owned the place.

“I swear, this is the only event the two of you will be forced to attend with Ray,” Robert added, in one last attempt to improve the atmosphere.

And judging by the way Oliver tensed up next to her, Felicity realised that Robert's attempt had failed. She put a hand on Oliver's arm, hoping to see him melt under her touch.

He didn't.

“And you couldn't tell us about this genius plan of yours _because?”_ He asked, his anger not diminishing.

Robert's shoulders went limp and he slightly shook his head, a clear gesture of disappointment. “Because you would have never accepted to come if you had known that Ray would be here,” he said, his tone casual. He sounded as if he didn't realise the effect of what he had hidden truly had on them, as if he didn't realise how this was hurting Felicity and angering his son.

“And why did you lie to me?” Moira cut in, her perfect eyebrows frown, her hands clasped so tightly around her flute of champagne Felicity wondered how it hadn't broken yet.

“Because you would have told them dear and don't try to deny it,” he quickly added when Moira opened her mouth to protest. “You've been on their side ever since this... has begun.”

Moira was a woman very much in control of her emotions and feelings. But when the words left Robert's mouth, Felicity saw something. The flicker of a shadow briefly crossed her eyes. She paled slightly, before brushing it away with a shake of her head.

“Then let's go greet your guest,” she said, her voice steady, her arm raised for her husband to take.

They watched them walk away. They reached Ray and Anna pretty soon. Ray greeted them warmly, and to the outside world it would have seemed as if Moira had greeted them both as warmly. But from where she was standing, Felicity could see the tensions gathering up in her spine and shoulders. The Queen's matriarch was not pleased and Felicity was glad she wasn’t the one who would on the receiving end of her wrath.

“Well I don't know about you guys,” Tommy said after a few minutes of watching Ray and Robert talk and laugh, “but if I am going to stand in the same room as this douche then I'll need more alcohol in my system.”

His comment made Felicity arch an eyebrow in surprise but before she could ask why he had said that, Laurel had already started speaking.

“I'll go with him,” Laurel decided as her fiancé was already making his way toward the bar.

Once they were gone, Felicity shifted slightly from her position by Oliver's side to face him.

“What?” He asked after she had stared at him for a while.

“What have you told Tommy about Ray?” She asked suspiciously, her arms crossed over her chest.

Oliver gave her a small, mischievous smile. She rolled her eyes at him.

“He's my best friend,” he defended himself.

They stared at each other for another minute and suddenly, then tension between them got more intense. His blue eyes were solely focused on her, making her forget about the people and the world around them. Her eyes fell on his lips that looked so kissable in the light of the party she unconsciously parted her own. He leaned down toward her and she sucked in a breath as he placed a soft kiss at the corner of her mouth, grabbing her hand as he did so.

“What are you doing?” She whispered against his lips as he intertwined their fingers together.

“Dance with me,” he whispered back, his voice low and soft enough to send a shiver going all over her body, as if he had traced the bare skin of her waistline with his warm hand and not her silk covered skin.

She chuckled, her feeling lighter than it had before. “You don't need to ask.”

Smiling, he led her toward the dance floor. Then, he pulled her into his embrace, her soft curves plastered against his hard chest. One of his hands found her back and the other cradled her injured one with his and placed it right above his heart. She wrapped an arm around his neck holding onto him although she knew he'd never let go of her.

They danced for a while, completely oblivious to the world outside of their little bubble, which was warm and fuzzy. Felicity closed her eyes as they slowly twirled on the dance floor, trusting him to guide her. She hummed happily, the music sounding like heaven to her ears as memories of another Christmas party came to her mind. A small smile tugged at her lips and she raised her head up and met Oliver's eyes, which were shining brightly. He was remembering too, she knew he was.

“Last year, we danced for the first time at a party just like this one,” he told her.

“Oh really? That's what you remember from last year's party?” She teased him.

“Yeah why? Did something else happen?”

She rolled her eyes at him, knowing that he was messing with her and determined not to let him win. Instead, she stood on her tiptoes and pecked his lips once.

“Something like that,” she said, winking at the dumbfounded expression on his face.

A smile broke off his surprise and he tightened his hold on her. “Now that you mention it, I remember everything. It was the best kiss I’d ever gotten.”

“Well, you might get more than just one kiss tonight Mr Queen,” she promised with a knowing smile on her lips.

His eyes darkened slightly at her words and she felt pride and satisfaction burst in her chest.

They danced some more before she pulled away from him.

“Where are you going?” He asked, frowning.

“Your baby is sitting on my bladder,” she explained.

“I highly doubt it's big enough to do that yet baby.”

She ignored him and made her way to the bathroom.

Surprisingly, they were empty. When Felicity walked out, it was to see Anna Loring checking her perfectly applied lipstick in front of a mirror.

Bracing herself, Felicity walked straight toward the sink and started washing her hands. She had no reasons to feel uncomfortable.

“Miss Smoak,” Anna greeted her. “I hope that you're doing well. I heard about your... fall.”

“Thanks for your concern. I got a card from PT wishing me a prompt recovery. I am guessing that you have something to do with it.”

Anna shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not who knows?”

Felicity shook her heard. She wasn't in the mood for whatever game Anna was playing.

“So apparently, you're going to be a divorced woman by the end of the month,” Anna went on as Felicity was drying her hands.

“Yes,” she didn't say “finally” but it was implied.

“Good. Ray only needed a small push in the right direction.”

That made Felicity pause. “What's that supposed to mean?” She asked, her uninjured hand holding onto her waist tightly.

Anna shrugged again, a small smile on her lips. “Your pregnancy wasn't the only thing I revealed to the press.”

Oh. She was the one who had told them about their separation as well. “I should have seen that one coming,” Felicity said, feeling like a complete idiot.

Anna nodded. “And now we can both go on our separate ways,” she told her, already on her way out.

“Anna wait a second!” Felicity called her back. The brunette turned around.

“What?”

“I hope you love black,” Felicity told her, gesturing at her dress. “It's one of the only colours he'll allow you to wear.”

“What are you trying to say Miss Smoak?”

“That he is going to try to control you.”

Anna chuckled amusingly. “Never doubt who the brain of our relationship is, Miss Smoak. And you should know that there is nothing wrong about compromising from time to time.”

“But...” Felicity tried to protest.

“There is no but,” Anna interrupted her. “You see this,” she pointed at her dress, “as a problem. I see this as a minor inconvenience. And in order to get what I want, I am willing to go through much bigger inconveniences. Unlike you.”

Felicity shook her head. “Just because we don't want the same things out of life, it doesn't mean that I am not willing to go through anything to get what I want.”

Anna nodded. “True.” She left then and Felicity didn't try to hold her back. Anna was a big girl, she could make her own choices.

Felicity walked out of the bathroom and her heart skipped a beat when she heard the noise of broken glass. She hurried toward the room where the party was being held and gasped when she saw Ray, lying on the floor in a puddle of punch and champagne, apparently he had knocked a table when he had fallen, Oliver glaring at him, pure rage distorting his features and Tommy standing between him and Ray.

Felicity looked up and found Thea and Roy standing next to Oliver, looking just as mad as him. Laurel was by Moira's side, a hand covering her mouth, a flicker of horror in her eyes. As for the Queen's matriarch, she had dropped her flute of champagne, and it had shattered on the floor. Her husband was staring at his son in disbelief.

The musicians had stopped playing, people had stopped talking.

All eyes were on Oliver and Ray.

“What the hell happened?” Anna whispered next to Felicity.

Oliver's head snapped back up and his eyes immediately found Felicity's. He looked so mad and so hurt and Felicity's heart clench in her chest at the sight of him. She didn't know what had happened but she knew it was bad.

Without saying a word, Oliver righted his tux's jacket and walked toward her. He grabbed her hand and still without saying anything, he led them toward the exit of QC's building, retrieving their coats back quickly.

He was mad, she could feel his anger radiating off of him in scorching waves. His shoulders were stiff, his neck straight, his pace determined. She had never seen him that angry, angry to the point where he was all closed off and not talking to her, not even looking at her. Her heart ached in her chest for him, because she knew that whatever had happened, it must have been really bad if it had gotten to him that hard.

They had used a limo to come to the party but Oliver didn't wait for it to be brought up. He just hailed a cab and rushed them inside, still not talking. She swallowed hard once they were settled, her eyes roaming over the traits of his face. The lights of the city were reflected in his eyes as he watched Starling sleeping through the window, his eyes doing their very best not to meet hers. She knew he knew she was looking at him, waiting for him to talk to her, to open up. She also knew that he wouldn't be able to do it until he had calmed down. Right now, he was fighting for his control, working on getting his anger out of his system, one long exhale after the other. Grabbing his hand and pressing it slightly, just to remind him that she was here, that he wasn't alone, she melted in her seat, her eyes getting lost in the city as well.

 

* * *

 

When they came back, Oliver still hadn't said a word. On the way to his bedroom, he started getting rid of his clothes. He took his white crisp shirt out of his slacks, unbuttoned the sleeves, got rid of his tie. She took her jewels off, holding them carefully in her uninjured hand.

“I am gonna take a shower,” he grunted and she watched him get in the bathroom, hating the distance he was putting between them.

She got rid of her shoes tossing them away, knowing that Oliver would most likely not appreciate her mess but not caring because he was far more important than her shoes forgotten in the middle of the way.

When she walked in the bathroom, she was hit bit a wave of heat. The sound of the water hitting the shower's floor echoed in her ears as she took in the steam already completely covering the mirror. Fanning herself with her good hand, she reached for a hairgrip and used it to hold her curls on top of her head.

Oliver was standing under the jet, scalding water hitting his back, drops dripping along the hard lines of his body. He didn't notice that she was here until she cleared her throat. He opened his eyes and she saw that his anger was gone, replaced by dull pain.

Wordlessly, she turned her back on him and he took the hint. He opened up her zipper for her and unclasped her bra. She got rid of her beautiful dress, throwing it away carelessly. Her bra and panties went off next, quickly followed by her splint. Then she stepped in and he stepped aside, to give her some space under the spray. She exhaled slowly when the hot water hit her body, letting it undo the knots in her shoulders and back.

Reaching for Oliver’s chest with her good hand, she lightly stroked him, her fingers following the lines of his perfectly shaped muscles. He sucked in a breath before melting under her touch. She kept what she was doing then, her wandering fingers lightly caressing him and he was putty in her hand. She didn’t want to push him into talking to her so she waited for him to be ready. But her heart clenched in her chest when she reached his knuckles. They were slightly swollen, and she instantly knew that he should be putting ice on it, not boiling water.

“I didn’t mean to do it.”

His voice was hoarse, closer to a grunt than an actual voice.

“He just…” She felt him tense under her hand and knew that his anger was coming back with a vengeance. She saw him clenched his fist, fighting to get his emotions in check.

“What did he do?” She asked, tearing her eyes from his body to meet his eyes.

“It’s not something he did,” he said, his eyes fleeing hers. “It’s something he _said_.”

“Okay,” she nodded patiently, “What did he say then?” She insisted, her gut clenching, telling her that whatever he had said, it was worse than what her mind could come up with.

“I know he was just trying to get under my skin and I feel so stupid for falling for it like a damn teenager but…”

“Oliver, what did he say?” She urged him on, his desperation clear on his face.

“I can’t – I don’t want to repeat it. I just want to erase the words from my mind completely, I want to forget I ever heard them,” he clenched his eyes shut, as if keeping them close would make the words disappear.

That’s when she realised that there was nothing that she could say to make him feel better.

There was nothing that she could say, but there was something that she could do.

She could anchor him, remind him that she was here. She could get the words out of his system.

There was another way. There always was another way.

She raised her leg and brushed it against his strong thigh tentatively. Goosebumps erupted on his skin. Grinning, she wrapped it around his waist. He seemed to get the memo, because soon enough, his hands were under her butt, kneading the flesh. She hopped in his arms, wrapping her other leg around his waist as well, and she knotted her ankles together. The water made them both slippery but she knew that he’d never drop her. He backed her against the wall, clinging to her. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, his stubble grazing her skin but his lips remaining far away. He didn’t kiss, he didn’t nip, he didn’t lick. He just breathed her in. She could feel his hardening cock trapped between their bodies and the feeling of him, hot and hard against her belly made a surge of arousal pool between her legs.

Running her good hand in his hair, she tugged, forcing him to look at her.

They didn’t say anything. At this very moment, words were superfluous.

They just stared at each other, Felicity fighting Oliver’s pain and desperation with love and passion.

They stared at each other and the longer they stared, the hotter she felt, the more the pressure built inside of her, the more she felt the need to move, to touch, to do something, _anything_. Her heart was beating wildly, her breathing uneven and she could actually feel the thick vein of his cock pulse against her skin.

They stared at each other until the heat became unbearable, until everything became too much.

Then they moved.

Their mouths meet for a bruising kiss that was all about teeth and tongues. They kissed hungrily, devouring each other’s taste, nipping, sucking, and nibbling. One of Oliver’s hands grabbed her head – he was holding her with one arm now – and angled it differently. The kiss was deepened, his tongue stroke the roof of her mouth and she moaned, loudly, overwhelmed by the intensity he was pouring in that one kiss. She let him take control of everything, knowing that she had to let him chase whatever it was that he needed to chase.

His hand behind her head travelled down her boy, avoiding her breasts which were way too sensitive to be touched during sex for now. His hand roamed over her body, stroking her skin, leaving trails of fire behind. He reached her core and parted her folds swiftly, his thumb finding her clit and circling it immediately. She gasped, breaking the kiss, as something tightened inside of her. His now free mouth too advantage of the situation and started peppering kisses on her jaw and then down her neck. He lashed out on her pulse point, nipping and soothing the sting with his tongue only to nip all over again, his thumb tormenting her clit all the while.

He coaxed his fingers in her wetness before grabbing his cock and lining himself up with her entrance. He filled her with one hard thrust that made her keen and bowed her back off the wall. She was so tight and he filled her so completely, it was almost too good. Her walls clenched on him, squeezing him hard and she earned a deep and low grunt in return. She scratched her nails against his skull, making him hiss. He set up a punishing pace, his cock going in and out of hard and fast.

“God Oliver,” she whispered when his lips came back to claim hers.

“Felicity,” he grunted.

He was hitting all her right spots and she felt the heat inside of her coiled and coiled, the thread of pleasure tightening in her belly. The slap of sloppy skin against sloppy skin sounded obscene to her ears but she couldn’t bring herself to care as she moaned louder and louder, her body undulating against Oliver’s. His chest was brushing against her, the friction against her pebbled nipples just enough to send her brain into overdrive.

He thrust in and out, his thumb never letting go of her already very much abused clit. It was too much, everything was too much but still it wasn’t enough to push her over the edge.

“Oliver, please,” she sobbed, moving her hips to meet his.

He circled his hips against, his pubic bone rubbing against her clit while his thumb was still grazing it. Finally, the tension snapped inside of her and she came, hard, shouting his name. White stars danced behind her eyes as he kept chasing his release.

“Come for me Oliver,” she managed to say, despite the waves of pleasures still rushing through her body. “Come for me baby, let go.”

And then he did, he came with a sharp cry of her name, emptying himself inside of her.

Gradually, he stopped moving inside her. He didn’t pull out though and that was more than fine with her. She didn’t want to be separated from him. Not now, not ever. Cupping his cheeks, she raised his head and their mouths met for a slower, sweeter kiss that made their heart and breathing settle down in their chest.

 

* * *

 

Later, they were lying in bed, their legs tangled together, Felicity’s back to Oliver’s chest, their fingers intertwined and cradled between Felicity’s breasts. Oliver’s chin was resting on top of her head and he occasionally moved his head, to press a kiss against her hair. Her limbs felt heavy, as well as her eyelids. She hummed contently, feeling perfectly sated and happy in the arms of the man she loved.

“When does your mom’s plane land tomorrow?” Oliver asked, sounding drowsy.

She shifted slightly, bringing her body impossibly closer to his. “Two,” she told him.

“Maybe we could go get her, have a late lunch together somewhere?” He suggested.

“After what happened tonight, I don’t think that going out is such a good idea.”

She felt Oliver sigh against her. One of his hands slipped under the tee-shirt she had stolen from him to sleep in and cupped her stomach. The gesture was soothing her as much as he was anchoring her. His face fell in the crook of her neck.

“I’m sorry,” his muffled voice apologised.

“It’s okay,” she assured. “We can have lunch here instead.”

“But I wanted you to have some time alone with your mom. So that the two of you could talk.”

Felicity had called Donna and told her about her father’s presence in Starling, about Elisabeth and their daughter. Donna had not wanted to discuss any of this over the phone but had promised they’d talk once they were together.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed Oliver, but the mansion is pretty big. I am sure spending some alone time with my mom won’t be that hard.”

They stayed silent for another while before Felicity started giggling.

“What?” Oliver asked, his voice huskier. He had started falling asleep.

“You punched Ray,” she told him, still giggling.

“Yeah, I kind of did!” He said sheepishly.

“I am glad you did,” she added, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

He chuckled slightly and his chest vibrated against her back. “I am glad I did too.”

 

* * *

 

Oliver punching Ray at the Queen Christmas' party was on the cover of all Starling City's newspaper the next morning. Journalists were speculating, trying to guess what might have happened. Each theory was more hare brained than the next one and Felicity soon chose to detach herself from them. Only Oliver and Ray knew what had truly happened and none of them was willing to share the truth. She actually feared for a while that Ray would try to press charges but when they didn't get a visit from the cops, she realised that he had no intention to and it made her breath a little easier

Robert was very mad when they saw him the next morning. He tried to get his son to tell him what had happened but Oliver stood his ground and didn't say a word. Moira then reminded that none of this would have happened, had Ray not been invited. Robert left them after that, locking himself up in his study. Tommy came by before lunch and suggested that they left town for a while after Christmas and offered them to celebrate New Year's Eve in their new club in Coast City. Felicity and Oliver both agreed. Leaving the craziness of Starling and its paparazzi behind for a while suddenly sounded like a very good idea. They extended the invitation to both Thea and Roy. The young Queen accepted happily, running away immediately to go pack at least twenty different outfits. Felicity smiled at her enthusiasm. Nothing seemed to be able to shake her inner happiness.

Felicity felt nervous at the thought of her mother meeting the Queen Felicity. Oliver picked it up and dragged her to bed where he processed to relax her using only his tongue and one hand. As she was coming down for her high, her body buzzing in satisfaction, he kept stroking the exposed skin of her abdomen, kissing her tenderly from time to time and wishing that his lips could reach their baby's forehead. The sight of him, so sweet, so loving and caring made her forget about her nervousness more efficiently than any mind-blowing orgasms. Why would she care about her mother and Moira being so different? Why would she care about her mother's exuberance and Moira's self-control? She was in love with a wonderful man, they were having a baby together and that was the only thing that mattered.

 

* * *

 

The meeting went more smoothly than Felicity had expected. Of course, her mother being her mother, she made an appropriate comment layered with mild sexual innuendos about Oliver's looks, congratulating her daughter on choosing such a handsome man and already predicting that their child would be a heartbreaker. But other than that, everything went perfectly. Donna was a smart and resourceful woman, two qualities that Moira valued. The two women soon found things to talk about. They came from different circles, yes, but happened to be complementary.

As they were watching the two women talk about the arrangements for the Christmas / Hanukkah dinner they were going to have the next evening, Oliver leaned toward Felicity and whispered in her ear.

"See, our family is finally coming together."

Felicity smiled at his words.

It was the best feeling of the world.

 

* * *

 

Felicity and Donna got some alone time later that day. They were in the guest-room Donna was going to sleep in and she was emptying her suitcase, showing Felicity the dress she had bought for the occasion. When she noticed that her daughter's mind was elsewhere, Donna's smile faded slightly. Sitting down on the bed, she reached for Felicity's hand and squeezed it.

"Felicity Meghan Smoak, you look exactly like you did when you tried to talk to me about Camp Space although you knew I couldn’t let you go.”

Felicity gave her a small smile.

“You always make that cute pouty face when you know you’re going to say something that’s going to upset me.” Donna sighed, smoothing out the wrinkles of her jeans. “You want to talk about your father, don’t you?" She guessed.

Felicity nodded, her heart feeling heavy in her chest. "I am sorry mom, I know it's not easy for you to talk about him..."

Donna let out a long breath. "As much as I want to put him behind me forever, I can't. He's part of you and you baby girl, are my past, present and future. It's the way things are and I've made peace with it."

"I don't know what to do mom," Felicity whispered, her voice breaking as she was assaulted by a swirl of conflicted emotions, as she always was when her father was mentioned.

“If you had come to me a week ago and told me about your father coming back into your life, I would have told you to stay away from him Felicity. Because to me, people don’t change. All they do, is make you believe they have. They coax you, to make you lower your guard so that you’ll take them back and when you do, they start hurting you again. Because it’s the only thing they can do, the only thing they know how to do.”

Felicity’s shoulders went limp. This was not what she had expected. “So you think that I shouldn’t talk to him?” She had already decided to meet with her father, if her mother didn’t support her, didn’t approve of her choice then she’d have to change her mind, because she’d never do anything to hurt her. She loved her way too much.

Donna shook her head. “Part of me don’t want you to because I don’t want to see you hurt. I know you Felicity and I know that no matter what your father says to you, you’ll be hurt. But… From what you’ve told me, he’s a settled man, with a wife and a daughter.” Donna paused for a second, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. “I know I haven’t told you anything about my relationship with your father, but… I am pretty sure that who he was when he was with me wasn’t who he really was, deep inside. And if this Elisabeth woman was the person he needed to find himself then that’s fine. Do I wish that things were different? That I was the woman who could have helped him?” She sighed. “I do, but not nearly as much as I used to. I know you want to meet with him and I want you to know that it’s fine with me.”

“Thanks mom,” Felicity said, leaning down to peck her cheek lovingly.

“But tell him that if he hurts you again, I’ll destroy him.”

Felicity chuckled at that and just like that, the tension that had settled in her body melted away.

 

* * *

 

Christmas’ Eve went smoothly. Robert had calmed down and put on a bright smile on his lips. Felicity suspected that Moira had something to do with it, but chose not to care. He sounded really genuine when he took Oliver apart between the main course and the desert, to talk. Oliver had come back with a new found peace in his eyes and a smile of his own on his lips. Donna had entertained them all with tales from her and Felicity’s life in Vegas. It had considerably lightened the mood and at some point, even Moira loosened up a bit and shared a few family stories. Thea laughed at those who involved her brother and he teased her mercilessly when her own stories were brought up. Felicity smiled as she watched them bicker as if they were still children. Something tugged at her heart in her chest when the picture shown by Elisabeth came back to her mind. She had a sister too. And maybe it was not too late for her to get what Oliver and Thea had.

It was probably just the time of the year that made her think that way. People always were more hopeful around the year’s end celebrations.

It didn’t occur to her that it was the first time in a while that she was among those hopeful people.

 

* * *

 

Donna and Felicity lighted the Menorah together, Oliver and Thea sitting next to them silently.

Felicity explained them everything they were doing, and even translated the blessings they sang. They listened carefully and Felicity felt her heart swell in her chest at such a display of acceptance. Oliver’s words from the day before came back to her.

_“See, this is our family coming together_.”

It really was and it was the most precious gift she had ever been given. She wouldn’t trade it for the world.

When they were done, Oliver handed them both a small package.

“You shouldn’t have darling,” Donna said as she opened it. “Oh!” She said, raising the cute onesie Oliver had bought her.

“ _I love my Vegas’ granny_ ,” Thea read, a smile tugging at her lips.

Felicity winked at Oliver, biting on her lips. She opened her own present and found a onesie for herself, with the words _“My daddy loves my mommy_ ” written on it. It was the exact same replica of the onesie she had gotten him, not so long ago.

“Do you like it?” Oliver asked.                          

“It’s perfect,” she told him, her hand coming up to cover his.

“No it’s not,” Thea protested. “Where is my “ _My aunt Thea is the best, I love her so very much_ ” onesie?”

“I’ll get you one for your birthday,” her boyfriend said as he came to join them, carrying a trail of cups of eggnog.

“Guys, are you aware that you’re not going to wear the onesies?” Oliver asked, his eyes shining brightly. “The baby is,” he added quickly, sharing a knowing smile with Felicity.

“Let us dream big brother,” Thea said. “By the way, Tommy is probably going to want one with “ _My uncle is the hottest man in the city_ ” written on it.”

Everyone laughed until Donna asked. “Who’s Tommy?”

“My best friend, my brother” Oliver explained.

“The family has kind of adopted him,” Thea added and Roy nudged her so that she’d let Oliver talk.

“He’s spending Christmas’ with his fiancée’s father and sister. They’ll be all here tomorrow, so you’ll be able to meet them all.”

Donna nodded. “I look forward to it.”

 

* * *

 

Later, Felicity was half-sleep, comfortably tugged against Oliver’s side, one of his arms around her shoulders, holding her impossibly close to him. They had all watched a Christmas movie and when it had ended, Felicity had been fast asleep. She was slowly awakening now, her mind still partially trapped in her dreams.

“Is she still sleeping?” She heard her mother ask.

“Yes,” Oliver whispered back, and she delighted in the way his chest move under her ear as he spoke. “I don’t want to move her.”

Felicity felt the couch dip beside her, probably where her mother sat down next to her. Exhaling, she buried herself deeper in Oliver’s warmth, seeking her dreams.

“She needs to rest,” Donna agreed. “The last few weeks have been pretty hard on her,” she paused for just a second before adding quickly. “On you too for that matter. How are you feeling?”

“Like I can finally breathe,” he confessed and his words were enough to drag Felicity further away from her sleepy state.

“Why?”

Oliver didn’t answer right away, giving Felicity some more time to wake up from her slumber. “She took my breath away I first met her and I never really got it back until now,” he paused, struggling to find the appropriate words. “Our relationship… I must admit it was a complicated one. And it was as painful as it was wonderful. She was my moment of quiet, you see? My moment of peace, the moment of my life where nothing else mattered but the present, with her. But even in these perfect moments, I could never truly breathe because… She always had to leave. I always had to let her go.”

“And now she is here,” Donna finished. “She is here, forever and you can breathe again. I understand the feeling all too well. There was a time, after her father left, when Felicity and I didn’t really get along. It wasn’t because we didn’t love each other but because we didn’t get one another. And then, one day we finally bound and… I started breathing again. We had finally met half-way.”

Felicity who was fully awake now felt Oliver nod his approval. “I won’t let him hurt her again Donna, don’t worry.”

Donna let out a loud breath. “She is so happy now, you make her so happy. Even if Noah wanted to hurt her, he wouldn’t be able to. Thank you for that.”

“She makes me happy too,” Oliver admitted, emotions tightening his voice in his throat.

“Then, you are perfect for each other,” Donna concluded, and Felicity could hear her smile.

 

* * *

 

The house was small but the red door and shutters went very well with the creamy walls making it look like a house out of a fairy tale.

Oliver parked his car in the driveway and shut the ignition off. He reached for Felicity’s hands. That’s when she noticed that they were shaking.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” he whispered softly.

Felicity swallowed hard, but it wasn’t enough to move the lump of emotions that was currently staying in her throat, preventing her from breathing properly.

“We go out whenever you are ready,” Oliver added, and she appreciated the fact that he wasn’t pushing her.

“I just need a minute,” she told him, her voice tight.

“Take as long as you need.”

She nodded, taking a deep breath to try and settle her racing heart in her chest. She was about to see her father. For the first time in years, she was actually going to talk to him. To have a proper conversation with him. She was going to get answers to the questions she had been asking herself since she had woken up one morning to find her father gone when she was eight. Taking another breath, a deeper one, she opened her door and got out of the car, Oliver on her tail.

Raising her good hand, she knocked at the door. Her father opened it soon after.

“Oliver, Felicity.”

Their names came out of his mouth as a soft whisper. As if he couldn’t believe that they were actually here.

“Please come inside,” he said, stepping away to allow them in.

He helped Felicity out of her coat before hanging it on a coat rail in a corner. Felicity stepped inside, taking in the cozy interior of his house. She had only seen Elisabeth once but she recognised her in her house. She had decorated it with all her heart that much was obvious. Felicity’s own heart clenched at the sight of several family pictures scattered across the room. But as soon as the pain started, she let go of it. It was something her mother and she had worked on. It wasn’t fair to hold up Noah’s choices against his wife and child. Felicity was happy that her half-sister had had a father. She had grown up without one, she knew how hard it was.

“How are you doing Felicity? Is your wrist healing well?” Her father asked.

He sounded and looked nervous but at least, he was making an effort at speaking normally.

“Yes, I should be able to take the splint off in two weeks.”

Noah nodded. “Good.”

He led them toward the table and offered them a seat. “Elisabeth is out with Julia, I thought it would be best if it was just the three of us this afternoon.”

Felicity nodded. She wasn’t ready to meet her sister yet. “Thank you for that.”

Noah gave her a small smile. “Elisabeth insisted on baking something,” he shook his head, an amused look on his face at the memory. “She also made some tea but maybe you’d prefer some coffee Oliver?”

He shook his head. “I am supporting her through her “free from coffee” way of life,” he explained.

Noah huffed back a laugh and disappeared in the kitchen. He came back soon after with a cake and three steaming cups of tea. He settled one in front of each of them before sitting down. Silence fell upon them and Felicity felt her nervousness coming back with a vengeance. She started taping her foot under the table until Oliver’s hand shot up and came to rest on her thigh, stopping her movement.

“First of all, I’d like to thank you for coming today, especially Felicity. I know it wasn’t easy for you.”

She shrugged. “I want to talk.”

“I want to as well. I have… I have so many things to say to you, I don’t know where to start.”

“At the beginning?” She suggested, her tone colder than she had expected. Oliver’s hand on her thigh shifted, his fingers grazing her skin through her jeans.

“The first thing that you need to know Felicity is that I am smart but I didn’t always use my brain in the best way possible. My brain… It never stops working. I always think and count and solve math problems in my head. And when I was young, the only way I knew how to stop the numbers was through drugs. I did drugs, a lot. I enjoyed being high because when I was high, my brain would finally slow down and let me see things clearly.”

Felicity tilted her head. “I hope that you can feel the irony in your statement.”

He nodded firmly. “Now I can,” he shook his head then, as if he was chastising his younger self in his head. “Vegas was my personal hell. I won money in the casinos, bought drugs with the money then went to win more money to buy more drug and so on. Meeting your mom, having you… It helped me for a while. Got me out of my gambling problems and drugs’ addiction for a while. But… The pull was just too strong. I lost my job because I was missing too many days, days that I chose to spend in the casinos instead, and I started doing drugs again and… I felt trapped in my own head, prisoner of my demons and I could only see one way out.”

“Leaving?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

He nodded, looking down toward his cup of tea.

“You couldn’t go to rehab? Get help?”

“Your mom tried to get me to but I never stayed. I was a fool back then, I took everything for granted. I didn’t want to try to get better because I knew your mom would always take me back.”

“Why did you leave then?” Felicity asked. It hurt to hear all of his and she felt a strong wave of love for her mom rush through her veins. Her mother had never told her any of this, she had never told her about her father’s problems because she hadn’t wanted to shatter the image that she had had of him. He had been a good father to her when he had been there and Donna had done everything she could to keep things that way for Felicity. And now that she knew, now that she was starting to see things more clearly, Felicity felt immensely grateful that she had.

“I forgot to pick you up at school one day,” he told her. “You probably don’t remember, but I do. I forgot about you because I was too high to remember you. I realised that day that you deserved better than me. Both you and your mom.”

Oliver’s hand started drawing circles on her inner thigh, soothing her, anchoring her. “And where did you go?”

“New-York. I met Elisabeth there. She wasn’t in a pretty state as well… She’ll tell you herself if she feels like it.”

“I understand,” Felicity said.

“We met in some dark and dirty club and we never really left each other. I played poker and got us money, money that we spent in drugs. Julia wasn’t supposed to happen. But, one night we were too high, we didn’t use protections and six weeks later, Elisabeth was handing me a positive pregnancy test. I still was in a bad place, she wasn’t in a better one. I suggested abortion, she refused. We fought and broke up.”

Felicity’s heart tightened in her chest as she pictured these two broken people in her mind. Her pregnancy hadn’t happened at the right time, but it had been ten times worse for them. Sympathy flooded her veins, melting some parts of her anger away.

“The pregnancy gave Elisabeth the strength she needed to get herself out of this mess. She stopped doing drugs, she found a job as a waitress, rented a small apartment in Brooklyn and moved forward. I stuck around, because despite everything I was desperately in love with her. I gave her money. She took it, saying that at least, it was some money that I wouldn’t spend buying drugs.”

Felicity let out a nervous chuckle. Noah replied with a small smile on his lips. “I came and went after Julz birth and Elisabeth, she let me as long as I didn’t hurt our daughter.”

“She accepted you?” Oliver asked in disbelief. It was the first time that he spoke.

“She understood how hard it was to get out. And not only was I still a gambler but I was also feeling guilty for leaving my family in Vegas, for starting a new one in New-York when I was nowhere near ready to be a father and a husband.”

“But you changed,” Felicity said.

He nodded. “Julz got sick as a kid. She needed bone marrow and her mother’s wouldn’t do the trick. I had screwed up so bad with you Felicity, I didn’t want to do the same with Julia. So I got clean, I gave her my bone marrow, I started working in a tech shop and taking late night classes in college. I complete my degree in computer science. Computers, ones and zeroes, are the things that come easily to me. I got a job in a small tech company and I made it thrive. Elisabeth started working as a cook, Julz got healthy again…”

Felicity closed her eyes, letting his words sink in. “Did you ever think of me?” She asked, her throat feeling tight again. Oliver’s hand pressed her thigh and she drew strength from his warmth.

He shut his eyes.

“Yes, a lot. I tried to reach out, several times but… I was too scared that you’d reject me. I was scared of being too late. I saw that you got into MIT at the age of 16. You grew up so fast and I… I didn’t fit in your life anymore. I felt like after how I treated you, after what I did to you, I didn’t deserve a second chance.”

“What makes you think that you deserve one now?”

“Felicity,” Oliver started.

“No, she is right to ask me that,” Noah interrupted him. “Honestly? I don’t know. What I know though, is that I am better now, I am different and more importantly, I am not scared anymore. I know that I love you, I always have. Whether or not you want that love is up to you.”

“What about Julia?” Felicity asked, feeling burning tears threaten to roll down her cheeks. She needed the conversation to go somewhere else.

Noah smiled fondly. “She is a great kid, handling everything that’s happening to her mom, and us moving away better than we could have ever imagined.”

“Does she know about me?”

Noah nodded. “I told her the truth before we move out. But she knows things are complicated.”

Felicity bit on her lower lip. “What is she like?”

Noah’s smile grew wider and his love for his daughter was evident in his tone and choice of words. They talked for another hour. Noah was actually really curious, he wanted to get to know her, to know who she was. It was hard for her to talk to him but she tried her best. He was also very interested in Oliver and it made Felicity’s heart flutter, that he wasn’t just trying to get to know her, but that he was also interested in the man that shared her life.

“One last question,” Felicity asked as they were about to leave. “Why are you working at PT? Why did you choose PT?” _Was it because of me_ was implied.

“They simply made me a better offer than Queen Consolidated.”

“And did Ray knew that you are…?”

“Your father?” Noah shook his head. “He never mentioned it, but I think he did.”

Felicity nodded and then thanked him for talking to her.

“I hope to see you more of you in the future, the both of you,” he added, looking at Oliver.

“I need time,” she told him, not feeling like promising anything. “To process everything.”

“When you’re ready, you know where to find me. I’m not going anywhere.”

She nodded again, trusting his words more than she was comfortable admitting.

It would take time, she thought as Oliver drove away from her father’s house, it would take a lot of time, but maybe they’d make it.

 

* * *

 

“To Speedy’s degree,” Tommy said, rising his flute of champagne high, kissing the back of Laurel’s hand.

“To Tommy and Laurel’s wedding,” Oliver added, rising his flute as well and tightening his grip on Felicity’s waist.

“And to my brother and best friend’s baby,” Thea concluded, winking playfully at Roy.

The six of them clinked their glasses together. They were standing in the VIP room of _Verdant_ in Coast City.

“2017 is going to be a beautiful year,” Felicity added as the countdown started.

_Ten!_

She set her glass down on a table.

_Nive!_

Oliver did the same.

_Eight!_

She turned around to face him.

_Seven!_

He smiled at her, his eyes shining happily. She knew hers were shining just as brightly.

_Six!_

One of his hands came up and pushed a strand of hair away from her face.

_Five!_

She parted her lips, her heart thrumming in anticipation.

_Four!_

The crowd’s cheers seemed to drift further and further away.

_Three!_

She intertwined her fingers with his, pulling him down toward her.

_Two!_

He cupped her face with his free hand.

_One!_

His lips met hers for a searing kiss. Wrapping her free arm around his neck, she deepened the kiss, tasting champagne on his tongue.

“Happy New Year,” he whispered between two sloppier kisses.

“Happy New Year,” she whispered back. “I love you.”

 

* * *

 

Later that night, Oliver and Felicity found themselves walking on the beach, hand in hand. Actually, since she felt a bit tired, she was holding his arm with both her hands, her body plastered against his, seeking his warmth. The air was cool and despite the fact that Oliver had put his jacket on Felicity’s shoulders, she could still feel the coolness on her skin.

“The party was awesome,” she said quietly, flashes of what had happened at Verdant coming through her mind, music echoing in her ears, melting with the sound of the waves.

“Yeah, Tommy really outdid himself,” Oliver agreed.

“The two of you outdid yourselves,” she corrected. Oliver was the kind of man who always let his loved ones take credits for things.

He offered her a small smile. “How about we stay in Coast City a few more days?” He suggested after another round of silence. “It’ll give the press some time to chill.”

She nodded, her cheek rubbing against the sleeve of his shirt. “Okay,” she whispered.

“And when we go back, we can start looking for a house.”

Again, she nodded. The thought of buying a house with him sending jolts of excitement through her body. “It’s the perfect time to do it,” she agreed. “First trimester is almost done. Soon, I’ll be less sick and it will be the perfect time for moving somewhere.”

Oliver cupped her stomach with their joined hands. She was wearing a tight dress that exposed her slightly curved stomach. “I’d like to rehire Nana,” she said as he stroked her stomach over the fabric of her dress. “She is my friend and she’s done so much for me… There’s no one else I trust more to be our housekeeper and watch our baby.”

“Then we’ll rehire her,” Oliver agreed.

They started talking about the kind of house they wanted to buy, sharing their dreams with the quiet night. Oliver wanted a big garden with a pool, Felicity two-storey house with a personal study at least two bathrooms.

“How many bedrooms?” Oliver asked.

“One for us, another for the baby, a guest-room,” Felicity started counting.

“At least two more rooms, for our other children.”

She laughed at that. “Don’t get ahead of yourself Mr Queen. Let’s start with that baby before thinking of other ones, okay?”

He smiled at her. “I just want you to know where I am standing.”

She shook her head at his teasing tone. “I want an attic too!” She quickly added, trying to distract him – she didn’t want to be the mother of a basket-ball team.

“Why?” He tilted his head, frowning in confusion.

“Because we’ll store all our things there. There is no such thing as a dusty attic filled with memories.”

Oliver stared at her for a minute, his bright blue eyes solely focused on her. Then, he leaned in and kissed her, smiling against her lips. “To a life filled with memories then,” he said.

“To a life filled with memories,” she repeated, sealing their deal.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really nervous before posting this, I really hope that you guys liked it!  
> You can tell me what you think :)
> 
>  
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come talk to me :)


	20. Epilogue - June 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!!
> 
> So... This is it. The epilogue. I am feeling so emotional as I am typing this, there is a lump in my throat. This story means so much to me, bringing it to an end is... It's not easy.  
> I want to thank you all my wonderful readers for reading this story and for being so supportive and vocals about it! I write for myself as much as I write for you guys and I am forever grateful for each person who leaves a kudo, or a comment or just takes some time to read my work. I want to thank every person who made this adventure better, by reading, reviewing kudoing or coming to talk to me on Twitter, Tumblr or Polyvore. You guys are the best, I love you so much! :D
> 
> And because I love you so much, I've been thinking about a small surprise for you. After I posted chapter 19, I decided to change the epilogue, which was originally meant to be about the big events of Oliver and Felicity's life together. Now, it's only about the baby's birth and I'll tell you all about Oliver and Felicity's life together in a collection of ficlets that I'll start later in the future and will be called "A life filled with memories". So technically, this is only the ending of And I wonder (if you wonder about me too). I am not quite done with this verse yet.
> 
> A few people asked me if I was going to write a new fic. I posted the prologue of my soulmate AU last night, go check it out if you're interested, here's the link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6366106/chapters/14583025  
> I am not forgetting about my other fic - Star-Crossed - but I am taking a break from it.
> 
> Thank you again for everything guys, I love you!
> 
> Happy reading!

The Polyvore sets for the chapter.

[(Felicity)](http://www.polyvore.com/epilogue_babys_coming_felicity/set?id=189193620) / [(Thea)](http://www.polyvore.com/epilogue_babys_coming_thea/set?id=189193198) / [(Julia)](http://www.polyvore.com/epilogue_babys_coming_julia/set?id=194411385)

 

* * *

 

June 2017

 

Felicity was putting the dishes in the sink when goose bumps spread in her body. A small smile tugged at her lips. She was being watched, she knew she was, even though her back was to the door. She could feel his gaze, bright blue and loving on the back of her neck and her smile grew bigger.

“I can feel you watching me, you know?” She said, letting go of the last plate and turning around to face the bright blue eyes she had perfectly pictured in her mind.

Oliver strode toward her his hands coming up to cage her between his chest and the kitchen’s sink. He leaned down and pressed a kiss on the tip of her nose. She giggled and he smiled warmly at her.

“I told you I’d handle the dishes,” he told her and she sighed. Of course he’d act all sweet and gentle before going overprotective on her.

Frowning, she pushed him away slightly. He didn’t bulge.

“And I told you that I’d do it so that you could go and finish packing mister!” She said, poking his chest repeatedly.

He at least had the decency to wince. “I am not leaving,” he informed her.

She blinked. Two journalists from a prestigious newspaper in Coast City wanted to write an eight-page article about _Verdant V_ , which had quickly become the trendiest place to go at night. The point was to try and guess what Oliver and Tommy’s recipe for success was. To say that it was a huge opportunity, a great accomplishment was an understatement. “Pray tell why?”

He ran his fingers through his hair, something he did when he was feeling nervous. “I am not comfortable leaving you alone…”

She rolled her eyes at him and sighed, frustration and anger making her lungs swell in her chest. They were going to have _that_ fight. Again. It was exhausting.

“Oliver, my due date is still a month away and you will only be gone three days. I’ll be _fine_!”

“Felicity, the doctor said…”

She raised a hand to stop him. “I know what the doctor said Oliver, I was there, remember?”

During her last prenatal check-up, Doctor Duncan had told Felicity that her cervix was more dilated than normal. There was no reason to worry, but she had still advised Felicity to rest as much as she could. And Oliver, the ever overprotective man that he was, had understood that Felicity was under bed rest and couldn’t be left alone for more than an hour.

“I won’t be alone, Julia is coming over for the weekend.”

“Why does the thought of leaving my pregnant girlfriend with a fourteen-year-old do not ease my mind?”

She slipped under his arm to put some distance between them, and it was not an easy task considering that she looked like she had swallowed a soccer ball.

“Don’t be mean! Julia is not a child!”

“What if something happens and I am not here?”

Her shoulders went limp. It was the same conversation, over and over again. “Then, we’ll deal with it,” she said through gritted teeth. “But you don’t have to worry. Nothing’s going to happen.”

“What if I am not here when you go into labour?”

She slapped her forehead. “One month until my due date Oliver. One month!” She reminded him not so patiently. “So go upstairs, pack your things and go woo these journalists.”

“Why can’t Tommy go?”

God help her, he was acting like a petulant child. “You mean your best friend Tommy who’s currently on a honeymoon in the Maldives?”

“Felicity, it’s just that…”

“No Oliver, stop right there! We’ve already had this conversation a thousand times. I don’t want you to put your job in jeopardy when there are no reasons for you to do so. I know you’re worried something will happen while you’re gone, I am too but we can’t do anything about it. And before you say it, no we can’t put our lives on a hold just because we’re scared.”

“I’d hardly call postponing the interview putting my job in jeopardy.”

“Oliver…” She started.

“But it’s okay, I get it,” he cut her off, his voice strained. “I’ll be on my way toward the airport.”

“But your plane is in four hours

He went upstairs to pack his things and left without saying anything else.

Letting out a deep, shaky breath, Felicity sat down on a chair. She hated it when they fought, because she loved him so much, she only wanted to laugh with him. But she was realising that there were things worse than fighting, such as parting ways on an angry note. It had never happened to them before and she hated the feel of it. She didn’t let her fears and insecurities rule her life anymore. She knew they’d eventually come around and both apologise. But still, she hated that they had left things that way.

She was startled by Shia when she put her head on her knees, her big black eyes begging her to pet her. She stroke her head tenderly and it helped her relax a bit. Felicity could have sworn that her dog could sense when she was not feeling well because she always had an impeccable timing.

She heard to door being opened and closed and she jumped on her feet, hoping to see Oliver coming back.

“Felicity? Oliver?”

Felicity met Julia in the doorway.

“Hey Felicity,” he sister greeted her, a small smile on her lips. “I used my key to get in, I hope that’s okay.”

Felicity huffed back a laugh. “Julz, we didn’t give you that key because we thought it’d look nice on your key ring.”

Julia chuckled at that and came to hug her. “Oliver’s not here?” She asked after they had pulled away.

Flashes of their fight crossed Felicity’s mind. “No, he left for the airport.”

Julia frowned, sensing that something was wrong. “What happened?”

Felicity sighed and they both went to sit down in the living-room. There, she told her what had happened.

The two girls had met four weeks after Felicity had had her talk with her father. They had bound instantly, in spite of their age difference and it had made their father and Elisabeth incredibly happy. They were both slightly nerdy and dorky and they both had bright personalities. Felicity had been thrilled when they had found out that they had a lot in common and loved the same things. When they had started to get to know each other they had written lists, such as _10 favourite books,_ or _15 favourite movies, 20 favourite songs_ and many others. Most of the time, their top three had been identical.

When Elisabeth had died in April, both Julia and their father had been devastated. They had been readying themselves for that death for a while but… You can never be ready for the loss of one of your loved ones. That tragedy had brought Felicity even closer to them. Her relationship with her father although still strained had grown stronger. And Julia… Well, Julia had looked up to her for comfort. Felicity had happily provided it, doing her best to support her sister and help her enjoy life again. And when Felicity and Oliver had bought their house, they had had no idea that they would turn one of the five bedrooms into a room for Julia. But the teenager had come over and spent the night so many times, they had thought that giving her a room would make her feel like she belonged. Like she was a part of their family.

“Why don’t you try to call him?” Julia suggested, when Felicity was done telling her what had happened.

“He’s the one who left without saying goodbye,” Felicity reminded her.

Julia gave her a look. “That’s not an adult answer.”

“What do you know about adults, kiddo?” Felicity teased her.

“Hey, don’t be mean! I am a teenager!”

Felicity chuckled at the offended look on her face. Julia gave her a small smile.

“How’s the little one doing?” She asked, pointing at Felicity’s belly.

“Sleeping,” her sister replied, caressing her bump tenderly. “Baby loves sleeping all day long and dances in mommy’s tummy all night long,” she explained.

“That baby is going to be such a troublemaker,” Julia said, her eyes shining brightly. “I can’t wait to meet him. Or her.” She groaned. “You really should have asked if it’s a boy or a girl. I never know what to call it!”

Felicity chuckled. “I want to be surprised, Oliver too.”

“Oliver, who is convinced that it’s a boy? Who’s dying to buy him an outfit of Starling’s football team?” She shook her head. “He doesn’t want to be surprised, he’s indulging you.”

Felicity huffed back a laugh.

“Does it bother you by the way? That he is so convinced that it’s a boy?”

Felicity shook her head “no”. “I think that he’s slightly afraid to have a girl. You’ve seen how protective of me he can be. Imagine what he will do if his child is a girl…” Felicity chuckled again. “He needs to think it’s a boy.”

“But what if it’s a girl?”

“He’ll be the happiest and most terrified man on the planet.”

It was Julia’s turn to chuckle. “And did you finally pick a name?”

Felicity’s smile faded away. They had had no trouble picking a name for a boy, the both of them liking the name Liam but finding a name for a girl had been… Really complicated. “Yes, we did and I wanted to talk to you about it.”

Julia frowned. “Why?”

“Because, I wanted to name her after my bubbe, whose name was Elisheva the Jewish version of…”

“Elisabeth,” Julia supplied.

Felicity nodded. “We figured that maybe you’d want to name your own daughter after your mother one day so, we tried to find something that was close to my bubbe’s name but different at the same time.”

“And did you find anything?” Julia asked, her voice tighter.

“Oliver suggested Hayley and I said yes.”

Julia smiled at her, wiping at her eyes. “I think it’s a beautiful name.”

 

* * *

 

They settled down for an X-files’ marathon, cups of ice-cream in hands after that. Felicity had already seen every episode and had been very happy to introduce her little sister to the show.

They were halfway through their second episode when someone knocked at the door. Groaning, Felicity got up and walked to the door a hand covering her baby bump protectively, the other coming up to support her back. It had been aching for two days now and she didn’t feel better, no matter how she was lying, sitting or standing.  She looked through the peephole and sighed when she saw who was on the other side of the door. Gathering up herself, she turned the key in the lock and opened her door.

“Hey Felicity!” Thea said a small smile on her lips.

“Tell me Oliver didn’t send you,” she started, her grip around the doorknob tightening.

“He totally did,” Thea confessed. “I told him you wouldn’t like it but he wouldn’t listen to me.” Felicity groaned. “On the bright side, he sent me. Not your father. Or even worse, _my_ mother.”

Felicity sighed heavily and stepped aside, letting Thea in. “My due date is still a month away,” she said and it felt like she was saying it for the umpteenth time. And it _was_ the umpteenth since she had had that argument with Oliver at least a billion times.

“You can’t blame him for worrying about you and the baby. He just doesn’t want you to stay alone in this big house of yours while he is away.”

“Hey!” Julia protested. “She is not alone!”

“Sorry Julz,” Thea said, “But you don’t have your driving licence yet. What if she needs to go to the hospital?”

Julia frowned. “I have a cell phone, I can call 911.”

Thea smiled at her as she hugged her. “I know that but Ollie is being… Ollie. Irrational Ollie.”

“I’m not sure I like that Ollie,” Julia stated.

“He’s just worried,” Thea explained, shrugging.

Felicity rolled her eyes. “I know and I normally find it really sweet when he is that attentive.”

“But?” Thea asked.

“But, my due date is still a month away,” she repeated, _again_. “If it was a week away, I wouldn’t say anything, but it’s a month away. A month Thea!”

“If your due date was a week away, Oliver wouldn’t have left your side,” Thea reasoned, sitting down on the couch next to Julia, grabbing Felicity’s cup of ice-cream and taking a mouthful of it.

“Hey!” Felicity protested, sitting down next to Thea. “How dare you steal a pregnant woman’s food? Go get yourself some in the freezer.”

Thea ate more ice-cream before saying. “You’ll thank me when you have less weight to lose after the baby is born. Not that you’ve gained that much weight anyway, lucky you!”

Felicity smiled slightly. She hadn’t gained that much weight during her pregnancy. She had gained some if the new stretches mark on her thighs and stomach were any indication but she hadn’t gained that much weight. Her bump was small for an eight-month pregnant woman but she wasn’t complaining nor worrying. Her baby still had a whole month to grow.

“At least go get another spoon,” Felicity told her.

Thea got on her feet. “Don’t eat everything while I am away.”

Julia burst out laughing and Felicity rolled her eyes before taking a mouthful of ice-cream herself.

 

* * *

 

The twinge in her stomach woke her up in the middle of the night making her gasp. She took a deep breath, to steady herself. Maybe it was nothing, maybe it was… Another twinge made her bend forward over her stomach, holding the thin sheets so tightly she felt pain in her fingers. She breathed in and out, slowly. Another twinge force her to huff back a moan. She tried to calm her racing heart. Those weren’t contractions. Those were just Braxton hicks. She wasn’t going into labour, she still had a whole month to go.

“Relax Smoak,” she told herself. “You’re… Oh shit!” She yelped when she felt a warm liquid flow between her legs, damping the bed. No, no, no! “Thea!” She yelled. “Julz!”

She was there not fifteen second after Felicity had called her, earning her nickname “Speedy” once again. “What?” She asked, panic filling her voice.

“Don’t freak out but I think that my water just broke.”

“Oh.” Thea said. “OH!” She raced to help her stand-up.

“What’s going on?” Julia’s sleepy voice asked. She had a severe case of bed hair and her pajamas were all creased.

“She’s going into labour,” Thea explained. “Go get dress, now!” She ordered and Julia ran to do as she had been told.

“We need to call Oliver,” Felicity said as another contraction hit her.

“Don’t worry Felicity, Julia will call him on the way, okay? For now, just relax and focus on your breathing.”

Felicity nodded firmly, trying not to panic. Things weren’t supposed to happen that way. She was supposed to be with Oliver, not Thea. She was supposed to give birth in July, not June.

Julia came back quickly after.

“Stay with her, make sure that she remains calm, okay?” Thea told her. “I am going to get dressed.”

She left then. Julia sat down next to Felicity and started rubbing her back smoothly. Her sister appreciated the gesture but unfortunately, it wasn’t doing anything to soothe the pain away. She groaned. She knew it was only the beginning of the labour. The contractions were widely spaced and mild. She knew the pain she was feeling was nothing compared to what was coming. That thought only made her wish everything was over already.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” Julia whispered in her ear. “We’ll be with you the whole time.”

Thea ran back into the room. “Do you have a maternity bag ready?”

Felicity shook her head. “No, my due date is still a month away…”

“No Lissy, your due date is today.”

Standing up, Julia said. “Get her to the car, I’ll get the bag ready.”

Thea nodded before helping Felicity up and then down the stairs and to her car. She buckled her up before sitting down behind the wheels. Less than five minutes later, Julia was racing toward the car, a ping bag in hand.

“Let’s go!” She said, sitting down behind Felicity and reaching for her hand.

 

* * *

 

Twenty-minutes later, Felicity was hooked to different monitors which were checking the baby’s heart rate and timing her contractions. Doctor Duncan, who was both a gynaecologist and an obstetrician had been called in emergency by Doctor Anderson, the same man who had examined Felicity after her fall. She was now on her way to the hospital. Both Thea and Julia were sitting next to her, holding her hands tightly.

“Dad’s on his way,” Julia whispered softly.

“And I called my parents,” Thea added. “They’ll be here in half an hour. Your mom will be on the first flight tomorrow. Or rather this morning since, it’s already 2am.”

“And Oliver?” Felicity asked, fighting back her tears. “Where is Oliver? Did you get him?”

Julia nodded softly, brushing a damp strand of hair away from her forehead. “Yes, he is driving back from Coast City as we speak.”

Felicity let out a small breath. He was on his way. Coast City was not that far away, he’d be here soon. All she had to do was keep the baby inside her body for two more hours. Oliver was not going to miss their child’s birth. She needed him to be here, she couldn’t do this without him.

She loved Thea and Julia and she felt grateful to have both her sisters with her but they weren’t Oliver. They couldn’t calm her down the only his soft and low voice could. Their eyes didn’t see the way his did. Their hands didn’t hold her the way his warm and calloused ones did.

She needed him, she needed the man she loved.

“At least the baby’s head is already down,” Thea said to try and comfort her. “You probably won’t need a C-section.”

“How comforting…” Felicity sighed, not feeling any better.

 

* * *

 

The door opened fifteen minutes later. Doctor Duncan walked in, quickly followed by Doctor Anderson. They both smiled at Felicity and it was enough to make her feel better. She had trusted her doctor during her whole pregnancy and so seeing her made her feel a bit safer.

“Felicity,” Doctor Anderson said. “I told you I didn’t want to see you here before your due date.”

She gave him a small smile. “What can I say, this little one is eager to see the world!”

“It has no patience. Just like its father,” Thea said, a warm smile on her lips.

“Where’s the future dad?” Doctor Duncan asked as she started checking Felicity up.

“On his way from Coast City,” Felicity told her. “Do you think that he’ll make it in time?”

She held Julia’s hand a bit tighter, fearing her answer…

“Your cervix isn’t fully dilated yet,” Doctor Duncan explained. “We have time before it’s time to push.”

Felicity nodded, breathing out loudly in relief.

 

* * *

 

By the time Oliver made it to the hospital, Felicity’s contractions were so close, she felt like she was being stabbed repeatedly from the inside. Her hair was damp with sweat and her limbs shaking. Her breathing was erratic and the pounding of her heart in her chest so loud, she wondered for a second if it was trying to get out. She was tired, so damn tired and all she wanted to do was rest but she couldn’t, because she still had a baby to push out of her body.

But then, she heard his voice yell her name and she sat up straight, her strength coming back slightly.

“Felicity!” He called, rushing inside her room. He looked awful but he was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. His hair was messy, his clothes crumpled. There were bags under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept in days. But they were shining brightly and Felicity breathed in relief. He was happy. Not afraid or worried or angry anymore. Just happy.

Thea got on her feet. Julia had left a while ago, to stay with their father and Oliver’s parents. “You missed the epidural,” she told him. “The size of the needle was enough make me decide that I’d never ever have children.”

“Thank you Speedy for everything,” he told her before she left. “Hey baby,” he said, turning toward Felicity.

“The baby is not here yet,” she tried to joke.

He sat down by her side and pushed damp strands of hair away from her face, chuckling slightly. “I am sorry I am late…”

“You’re here now and that’s what matters most. Although I’d probably have killed you if you hadn’t shown up.”

“What happened to “I’ll be _fine_ ” and “nothing’s going to happen”?” He teased her, his fingers linking with hers.

“I am about to give birth to your baby Oliver Queen, you do not get to tease me like this!" She paused when she saw the look he was giving her. "You're never going to let this go, are you?"

He chuckled again and kissed her forehead. “Not a chance baby," he whispered. "I am sorry I was an overprotective ass. I am sorry that I left without saying goodbye…” He sighed. “When Julz called, I was about to call you to apologise, for everything.”

“So you would have called me in the middle of the night?” She asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Don’t give me that look. I know the baby doesn’t let you sleep.”

She smiled at him. “And now, it’s not going to let you sleep either! Get ready for sleepless nights hon!”

He leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. It was something he did a lot now. “I don’t mind, as long as you’re with me!”

“You’re such a sap!” She laughed.

He nodded. “I am a sap in love with you,” he reminded her.

She shook her head slightly, already feeling much better. She still was in pain, she still was exhausted. But everything was bearable now that Oliver was here with her.

And, okay maybe she was a sap too.

A nurse came in a short while later, to check on her. She paged Doctor Duncan not even five minutes later.

It was time.

 

* * *

 

Hayley Dearden Queen was born on June, the 9th at exactly 5:17 am.

When her tiny whimpering body was put on her chest, Felicity started crying too. Finally, after everything that had happened, the little girl she had always known she’d have, the little girl that had lived in her dreams was here, in her arms. Everything that had happened came back to her, the memories rushing through her mind and feeling like a punch in her gut. The pain, the fear, the loss, the broken trusts, the scandals, the love, the joy, the happiness, she’d go through everything all over again without hesitating if it meant cradling her baby girl against her chest at the end of the day.

The moment when Doctor Duncan said the words “it’s a girl” and then carefully put her small baby on her chest, Felicity knew with blinding clarity why everything had happened. In that moment, as she held her daughter for the first time, she knew.

She had always been meant to be with Oliver and they had always been meant to bring this beautiful life into the world.

“She’s so beautiful,” she whispered, her hand coming up to held her daughter’s head before sliding down her back to soothe her and calm her.

“She is perfect,” Oliver added, his voice tight with emotions. His thumb brushed against their daughter’s cheek and moisture came to his eyes. He leaned forward to kiss her forehead and kissed Felicity soundly on the lips.

“Thank you,” she whispered against his lips. “For everything.”

“No thank _you_ ,” he replied. “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... IT'S A GIRL!!!!! :D  
> I hope that you loved the epilogue. 
> 
> Don't forget that you can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> So, what did you guys think?  
> Don't hesitate to tell me in a review or leave a kudo. They both make me incredibly happy!
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineCMathez  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/


End file.
